Chapter 14
"You!" Siva screamed from the main doorway behind them.
"Uh, hey babe," said Lex sheepishly.
"DON'T call me babe!"
"No."
"You left me."
"Yeah."
"For her!"
"Ba... Siva, she is my wife already!"
"So am I. You didn't have to marry me as well after SHE came back. You could have just put me straight then: told me how you really felt, been honest. But then that's never been one of your strong points, has it Lex?"
"No."
Cat watched silently from the nursery doorway. Tai San had explained Lex's dilemma while they walked, with Lex dragging behind in his mood, out of earshot. Now Cat felt invisible, able to observe unseen, but still could not bring herself to watch the outburst. However publicly it was being aired, this was Lex, Tai San and Siva's own, private, dirty laundry.
Trudy held Brady close to her and she and Hawk led Cat into the nursery, Hawk holding Zac in his arms. Mouse was sitting over in a corner with her hands over her ears. Siva had grown to be one of Mouse's favourite people and she hated to see or hear her mentor angry.
"It's okay, honey," Trudy told Mouse, sitting down beside her and putting her free arm around her while Brady sat on her mother's lap, sucking her thumb and hiding her face from Cat.
"I'm sorry," Hawk said, turning to where Cat was standing with her pack at her side, "This isn't much of a welcome for you."
"Don't worry about it."
"No, he's right," Trudy said, turning to face her, "Siva shouldn't have blown up like that. Not when we had a guest and not in front of the children. She knows the nursery is in here."
"Please don't worry on my account. Tai San explained the details on the way; although, I do agree with you about the children."
Trudy wondered at the short, staccato sentences Cat used, and her clear, yet indeterminate, accent. All the same, the young woman seemed nice, slightly older than the rest of them, but nice. She smiled warmly and Zac laughed, but Brady kept her head firmly hid in her mother's arm.
--
"Amber?" Jay asked, without opening his eyes.
"Yes," she answered, "it's me."
"What are you doing up here? And where were you, I couldn't see anyone?"
"Well, firstly I came up here to think and secondly I was over the other side of the door. You wouldn't be able to see me. I only knew there was someone else here because I heard the door shut and came round to see who it was. Anyway, what are you doing up here?"
"I needed some space. And some time to think for that matter."
"Anything I can help with?"
"I dunno. Ebony and I had a fight. Sort of. Well. Not a fight, more of a ..."
"Discussion?"
"Yeah. But a short one. I don't think you'll be able to help with this."
"Try me," she said, smiling and sitting down next to him with her back against the door.
"Ebony wants to start a family."
"And presumably you don't?"
"It's not that, I do want a family eventually, just not right now. Or in the near future, before you say anything."
"Why not?"
"It's just... This isn't the world I wanted my kids to grow up in."
"It's not perfect, no. But it is all we've got."
"But not all we could have. Amber, look how far we've come. We've a hospital. A democracy. A school on its way. But there's still so much more to come. The power station is running, but for how long. We have to get that problem fixed. We have a militia and a police force, but no laws or courts. That has to get fixed too. We have a marketplace of sorts, but no currency. We need to get that sorted out. There's still so much to do, and it's only been six months since we got rid of Ram - who knows what other Tribes are waiting to try and take over in his stead. Nobody is sure what happened to the Chosen. I want to be sure my children are going to be safe in this world."
"There is no way you can know that for sure, Jay. But it's not fair to deny them life just because you aren't sure how long they'll have it. Believe me, I know what you're going through. I went through it myself when I found out I was pregnant with Zac. I even considered trying to terminate the pregnancy. I know he's been through a lot, but even still, I am so glad that I chose to have him. It was a struggle but it was worth every second."
"I just want to be a little more sure, that's all. I've asked Ebony to wait until I can get the power station running properly. That's not too much to ask is it? I mean, if she was pregnant now, I'd be over the moon, but she's not. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"I suppose," Amber got to her feet, "I'd better go see how Zac is. You'll think about what I said?"
"Of course."
"Good."
--
Salene returned to the school instead of the hotel. She wanted to see Pride and tell him what had happened at the farm. She found him in an old office, which must have belonged to the previous headmistress: there were still some personal items scattered around the room that he was slowly clearing up. On a filing cabinet there was a family photograph showing the headmistress herself, or so Salene presumed by the clothes in the photo and the other items in the room, her husband, who looked the lawyer or accountant type, and their son and daughter. There was something vaguely familiar about the boy. The set of his eyes, the line of his chin, the shape of his nose. Even the unruly, wavy black hair looked familiar.
"Pride," she said, stopping her lover in his tracks, "this is you!"
--
Patch, having escaped the confines of his office and resolved himself to the task of working on his surprise for Dee alone, at least until Mega returned, had crept out of the ward and up a few flights of stairs to a wholly unused floor. It would be used, he thought, and the first thing it is used for will be the greatest day of my life.
He worked hard in the few hours he could spare before he would need to return to check on Helena. He worried about the girl, she was weak and the fever was spreading rapidly. He had sent a letter to Aeryn asking her to come down the next morning, he hadn't wanted to worry her and, at the time, he had thought that would be time enough. The antibiotics Patch was treating Helena with, though, weren't working and he did not know enough herb craft to treat her with Aeryn's medicines. All he could do was treat the symptoms, give the girl antibiotics for the infection and fever, and hope she was strong enough to pull through. He would check on her in a half hour, he thought, and, if she was any worse, he would send another messenger to Aeryn to bring her back immediately.
--
Alice, Ryan, Aeryn and Paul had set about turning the old barn into a dormitory for the new arrivals. Jack, although he swore he would not, was sleeping soundly on the old sofa in the front room after having received a dose of Aeryn's valerian tincture.
"You're getting quite good at drugging innocent young men!" Alice teased her as they sat with Paul and Ryan in the kitchen, discussing the day's events.
"There's no 'quite' about it. Are you sure you will be fine tonight? It doesn't have to be administered without your knowledge for it to work you know!"
"No, I'll be okay," Alice's voice sank to a whisper and her brow creased, "I already knew, deep down. I don't know how, I could just feel it: she wasn't coming back. All Jack did today was make my head certain of something my heart already knew. I'll be okay."
"You know where I am if you change your mind."
"Yeah. I think I'll head just now, actually. It's been a long day."
"Sure."
As Alice rose to go, she was bid goodnight by Aeryn and the two boys. Aeryn went and put the kettle on the hob again. She wasn't sleepy and she and Ryan were trying to work out some sort of sign language with Paul. He had taught them the usual deaf-dumb alphabet, but the rest they had to come up with themselves. None of them were tired. It was going to be a long evening.