AN: To reviewer catsystacy- Yes I got the name Nestor from blueenvlopes' stories. While I was taking a break from writing I read pretty much everything from her and it has just become canon in my mind. If we don't get a Nestor Knight of Ren in Ep 9 I will be very upset.

But as I keep saying, you guys are why I am getting these chapters out so fast. Your kindness, reviews, favs, and follows keep me going! I hope you enjoy the new chapter. :)

I Wanna Know

It was already after ten in the morning and Rey had still not had a drop of caffeine. Thanks to Ben throwing her coffee in the sink at the cabin, Rey was now hovering over her coffee pot as the first drips of heaven flowed.

She had already texted Rose to let her friend know that she was now home and they could commence their Sunday morning ritual of laundry. Rey shrugged off the leather jacket that Ben had given her and made a mental note to return it to his apartment later that night.

For a moment she contemplated covering the bruising on her neck, but she felt that she could be honest with Rose without much judgement. Instead she just poured a large amount of coffee into an insulated tumbler and then made the trek down to the basement laundry.

Rose showed up about ten minutes after Rey had put in her first load and the dimly lit room held off on the interrogation for a few minutes.

"So ya'll ended up staying the night?" Rose asked as they started to talk about Rey's trip out of town with Ben.

"Yeah, we took his motorcycle up there and that storm rolled through..."

"Motorcycle?" Rose asked in shock but with a smirk on her face. "That's so hot. I bet he looks hot on a bike."

Rey blushed, thinking back to how she had taken an extra moment this morning to check him out as he pulled away from her curb. "I won't disagree with you," was all she offered.

"So how did it go? Where did he take you?" Rose fired off the questions.

Sticking to the easiest question first Rey took up her normal spot on top of one of the dryer and downed a sip of coffee, "We went up by West Point. His family has a cabin up there."

"Oh, romantic cabin in the woods. Tell me there was a bear skin rug in front of the fire and you made love all night long." Rose gushed.

"Not quite," Rey laughed. "Actually it started out well enough, until his mother showed up."

"His mother?" Rose was aghast. "I'm sure that put a damper on everything."

"That's putting it lightly. Ben and his mother don't really get along and they ended up having words."

"So the famous General Organa wasn't all you hoped she would be?"

"God no!" Rey almost spit out her coffee. "If my father ever acted as the General did, my mother would have his head."

"And Mr. General Organa is not in the picture?"

Rey thought for a moment, not knowing too much about Ben's father. "Han Solo is a pilot of some kind, but the General did accuse me of sleeping with him when she first arrived."

Rose dissolved into giggles, "Only you Rey...only you could get yourself into something like this."

"No kidding..." Rey rolled her eyes and downed the rest of her coffee.

As Rose watched her friend tip back the tumbler she caught a glimpse of red marks across Rey's throat. With the lightest touch Rose reached out, "What are these?"

Rey quickly brought her hand up to her neck and turned red while looking at the floor. Rose now jumped down from her dryer and pulled Rey's hand away. Having taken classes on domestic violence, Rose was very aware what strangulation marks looked like. The red lines that formed between the attacker's fingers were in perfect form around both sides of Rey's neck.

"Did he do this to you?" Rose asked with anger and concern.

"Rose, it's not what you think..." Rey started but didn't make a move to make eye contact with her friend.

Rose cocked her hand onto her hip, "Was this some sexy time gone wrong? I didn't think you were into choking and if he is, that is not the way to do it..." Rose was now rambling thinking about some of the more kinky partners she has had over the years.

"No," Rey shot out and finally looked up from her hands. "I told you it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" Rose now came back to sit with her friend, taking her hands. "It's not okay if he hurt you."

"I know," Rey offered.

They were quiet for a time before Rose spoke again, "Does this have to do with your past?"

Rey looked up again, confusion written all over her face, "What does that mean?"

Rose shrugged, "You know...you grew up in an environment of abuse and neglect and now this hot guy comes along and maybe you feel it's okay for him to do these types of thing to you..."

"Rose...no..."

"No one deserves to be abused Rey."

Rey sighed, "He's not abusing me Rose." She knew that his story was not her's to tell, but she also knew that Rose wouldn't drop it until she got a good enough explanation. "He experienced some trauma during the war and yesterday was his seven year anniversary from getting injured. He had a flash back and even though I was careful, he lashed out."

Rose looked over her friend, trying to understand. She had not grown up in a military family. She didn't know the ins and outs of trauma and how it effects veterans. "So he choked you?"

"I woke him up from a night terror and I guess he still thought that he was at war and he was just protecting himself." Rey tired to explain.

They were both quiet again for a while. "Maybe you shouldn't be seeing this guy until he gets some help."

"It's not his fault," Rey said defensively. "I will know next time what to do and not do."

"Next time?" Rose almost yelled. "Listen to yourself! How can you even want to put yourself into that situation again?"

"You don't understand..." Rey started.

"You're right," Rose interjected. "I don't understand. You just met this guy and it's a gamble with your career and your safety to keep seeing him."

Rey felt her anger start to rise, "You are the one that pushed us back together at that play!"

"That's before I knew he was the West End Strangler."

"That's unfair Rose. Ben and I have experienced things in our lives that make some of those neglect case files look like a cake walk..."

"So you think you can fix him." Rose accused. "If you want a pet project I'm sure we can find you a different hobby."

Rey exhaled with frustration. "You don't understand," she repeated.

"I truly don't." Rose answered honestly.

After another pause Rey spoke, "I don't need you to understand. I just need you to trust me. I need you to be my friend."

Rose looked hurt, "I am your friend. That is why I am trying to protect you."

"Ben is not the bad guy in all of this. Seven years after I was abandoned by my parents I was in much worse shape. He just needs someone who understands and will just be there, like Millie was for me."

"So you do want to fix him..."

"He's not broken. I wish people would stop calling him broken. I just want to help him in whatever way he will let me."

Another silence hung over them. "I trust you Rey, but if you ever need me, if you ever need an out, I'm here for you."

Rey gave her friend a soft smile. "Thank you...truly." She wiped at the tears that threatened to fall not only at the frustration of trying to explain her connection to Ben but also the fierce protectiveness of her friend.

They moved on to safer topics like what Rose had done over the weekend, what was on their schedule for the week, and Finn's love life, which was always exciting. A few times Rey caught Rose glancing at her neck with her brows pinched together with worry, but it wasn't mentioned again in conversation.

With laundry done by mid afternoon, Rey went out into the city to do the rest of her shopping and even had about an hour to clean up her apartment. It was nearing six in the evening and while she knew that Ben wouldn't have to open the bar tomorrow, she still had a nine o'clock mediation that she had to get to in the morning. She didn't want to be out too late so she sent him a quick text before embarking on the quick walk to his apartment.

He was waiting outside for her when she approached. His smile was wide and Rey couldn't help but return it. He bent to kiss her, "I missed you."

Rey chuckled into his lips, "It's hasn't even been twelve hours."

"I still missed you," he confirmed.

If Rey was being honest with herself she had missed him to. She would have much preferred to walk the markets hand in hand with him. Her body felt warmer and lighter when he was around and this is why she had fought so hard against Rose. This is why he was worth it.

They walked across the empty and dark bar and up the back stairs to his apartment. "It smells great," Rey commented. "What are you making?"

"A roast. It's one of my grandmother's recipes."

Rey handed back the leather riding jacket that was slung over her arm and when Ben looked down at her with some hurt in his eyes she stated, "We can just keep it here for the next time we go out of the bike."

"Next time?" Ben asked in a small voice.

Her compassion for this man flared, "You're almost as bad as me," she added with a soft and warm tone thinking about her own abandonment issues. "You can stop worrying about me running away Ben. I'm here, for this time and the next, and the next after that."

His smile over took his face and his thin cheeks creased. Throwing the jacket over the back of a chair he lunged for her and took her in his arms. Rey let out something between a laugh and squeak in surprise as she was lifted up his body and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Walking across the open area of his apartment, Ben didn't set down Rey until he was able to throw her down on his bed. She let out another giggle as she bounced into his mattress. She watched with hooded eyes as he raked his shirt off.

"Ben...the roast." Honestly she couldn't have given a damn about the roast and she licked her lips at the site of his bare chest, hungry for something completely different.

"We have an hour," his words were muffled into her neck and he kissed her.

Rey pulled her foot up and placed into the crook of his hip, pushing him back off of her. He looked wounded for a moment before she shook her foot at him, instructing him to remove her shoes.

He pulled off her sneakers without even touching the laces and Rey worked the button and zipper of her jeans. Ben grabbed at the hem of her pants and fought with the tight material. Rey bit at her knuckle and tried to stifle a laugh.

"A man would never design pants that were this hard to get off a woman," Ben spoke to himself as he was finally able to get the jeans past her hips.

"But they make my ass look good," Rey countered with another laugh.

A gleam flashed in Ben's eyes as he took her ankles in his large hands and flipped her over on the bed, her lace covered behind now on full display for him. "I like it better like this," he commented as he pulled her jeans the rest of the way down her legs and then planted a soft smack to her right butt cheek.

"Oh!" Rey exclaimed at the hit and looked over her shoulder at him. He was already running his hands up the back of her thighs before palming her rear. Before long he grabbed at her hips and pulled her up on her knees with her chest and head still resting on the bedding.

Ben cupped the hot area between her thighs and stroked her a few times before shifting the soft lace to the side and sliding his two middle fingers into her. He groaned at the feeling, she was already wet for him and he wanted to taste her.

A few more stroke in and he needed more. Rey whimpered when he withdrew his fingers and then let out another squeak when he flipped her over again. Her gaze met his and he slid his glistening fingers into his mouth. Rey had to clamp her legs together as a new rush shot down her body.

Once he had tasted his finger, Ben took another moment finish undressing her. She was laid bare before him and he took in the image of her. Her chestnut hair spread out in a halo, her pink swollen lips, her rosy nipples, the dark smattering of hair above her thighs, and the desire in her eyes as she rubbed her knees together needing friction.

He grabbed at her hips again and pulled her to the edge of the bed, spread her legs while running his hands up her thighs, and knelt on the floor in front of her. Rey lifted her head to look at him and desperately bit at her lower lip.

Ben settled his face between her legs and Rey watched with hooded eyes as he kissed at her engorged flesh. Her head only fell back when he placed a flat tongued swipe across her clit. A groan deep from within her chest escaped and she grabbed at the bed sheets, needing to feel grounded as the rest of her body felt as if it was afloat.

Smiling into his work, Ben set a pace with his mouth and when she started to buck her hips into him, he steadied them with his left arm as his right hand went back to thrusting deeply into her.

Rey was beside her self, not knowing or caring about the world around her. The only thing she felt was the building pressure between her legs and the light headed euphoria that was soon to follow. She reached out and grabbed a fist full of his dark hair, holding his head to her and grinding her hips, Rey was able to guide the pressure right where she needed it.

She dared to raise her head and look down at what he was doing to her. Ben saw the face of a woman desperately in need of release. Her brows were pinched together and breaths came in open mouth pants. He met her gaze and then sucked hard of her clit and watched her fall.

An expression of surprise graced her face and then Rey's head fell back to the bed as her body pulsed out her orgasm. "What the hell was that," she gushed out as she threw a limp arm over her face, trying to steady her breathing.

Ben smiled and used his discarded shirt to wipe his mouth and chin. "That was just me saying thank you for this weekend." He removed his sweat pants and watched the rise and fall of her chest slow.

Rey smiled and finally opened her eyes when she felt him snake his arm behind the curve of her back and hoist her further up on the bed, "If that's the case, you can thank me any time you want."

He now hovered over her, "I plan on it," and he slid into her waiting heat. She was so wet from his mouth and her orgasm that he had to grip onto the sheets to steady himself.

Her body was already well satisfied but it came alive again with his movements. He rocked into her, using the arm still around her back to lift her hips with each thrust. He kissed all over her face, neck, and chest, pulling her nipples into his mouth, showing each equal attention.

As Rey's body started to tighten again, she gripped around his neck and pushed her feet against his thighs, trying to get the angle that her body demanded. Without warning, Ben gripped her tight and rocked back on his heels and into a kneeling position allowing her ride his thighs.

She gripped harder into his hair and brought her mouth to his as he now used both of his hands to grind her hips into his. It was such an intimate position, chest to chest, face to face. She could feel his heart beating against her breast and his hot breath against her shoulder. "Ben," she cooed out breathlessly.

"Rey," he answered in kind pulling at her hips harder and faster. Her forehead rested on his shoulder as he started to feel her quiver. "Fuck," he ground out as he again increased his pace. Her orgasm milked him and he wrapped both arms around her back, holding her against his chest as her arms held steady around his neck and shoulders.

They sat like that for a long moment before he carefully laid her back on the bed, slipping out of her in the process and body spasmed at the sensation. Ben lowered next to her and lightly traced his fingertips along her stomach.

He thought back to his heated conversations with his mother about wanting a future with Rey. The house, the kids, the dog...everything. For a fleeting moment he pictured her flat stomach swelled with their child and it scared him and excited him in equal parts. He quickly thought back to the last few times they had sex and their lack of protection.

"We haven't been using condoms," he said without thought, realizing that it wasn't what lovers usually said to each other after really amazing sex.

Rey turned her head to him, a smile still ghosting on her face for her double orgasms, "I have an implant," and she held up her arm showing him a small scar.

"Oh," he said, not knowing if he was pleased or disappointed. Pills could be forgotten or thrown out. If he was ever going to broach the topic of children with Rey, it would need to be a calculated decision to get the implant removed.

He was still drawing lazy circles across her skin and Rey propped herself up on to her elbow, facing him on the bed. "Show me yours."

Ben chuckled, "I don't have a birth control implant"

"No," Rey smiled with him. "Your scars."

He became serious now. He had told her bits and pieces of his story and why his scars are not as evident, but he had never directly pointed them out to her. He trusted her and knew that she wouldn't judge him...that she understood him, so he sat up Indian-style on the center of the bed and faced her.

Rey followed his position and it was odd that they were completely naked and vulnerable in front of each other but there was to shame or shyness.

Ben reached forward and took her wrist, guiding her hand up to his left shoulder. "The first round went in the back of my shoulder and out here," he allowed her finger tips to trace the thin pale line of his exit wound.

"You really did have a good surgeon. I can hardly see it without you pointing it out."

"The best in Beverly Hills my mother told me," he said this with some malice. "They are more apparent when I get a tan." He bent forward some so she could see the back of his shoulder and she fingered the small round raised area where the bullet had pierced.

Rey kissed his shoulder and then sat back waiting for him to continue.

He now turned his head showing her the back of his neck. Under his hair on the left side was another white pick mark. "The next round came through my neck and exited my chest," Ben turned and lifted his right arm showing another scar at about his nipple line.

Tracing a line from his neck to his chest Rey tried to fathom how the bullet had missed organs and arteries. "How are you alive?" Rey asked she looked up onto his face.

"I have no idea," he answered honestly. "The docs said that it would have been a centimeter either way and I would have bleed out in seconds."

Rey pulled back his hair and kissed the back of his neck and she felt him shiver under her touch.

"Lastly..."

"There's more?" Rey looked on in shock and some horror, wondering how much could one man go through.

"This is the best part," he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "When they were evacing me, we started taking fire again so they had to drop me." He took her hand and put it into his hair.

Rey felt the sliver of skin at the back of his head that didn't have hair. "Is that why you wear your hair long?" She continued to trail her fingers along his scalp.

This time his smile took over his whole face, "No...this is why," he pulled back his hair and exposed his large ears that stuck out from his head.

"Oh," Rey smiled and now ran her fingers along the rim of his ear. "I like them either way."

He reached forward and kissed her, silently thanking her for truly trying to understand him. Ben hoped that there would never be a part of him that Rey didn't like for he could find no faults in the amazingly strong woman in his arms.

A buzz when off in the kitchen and they both laughed into their kiss, "Dinner is ready," he said against her lips. Ben jumped off the bed and replaced his sweat pants.

Rey followed but just slid on her shirt and panties, agreeing with Ben that at times skinny jeans could be uncomfortable.

They sat on the couch and ate dinner while watching a show on Netflix. It seemed so normal, like they were a couple that had been together for years and held a comfortable familiarity with each other.

Rey admitted that Ben was a decent cook and invited him to her place next week so she could show off her skills in the kitchen.

He took their plates and opened up the freezer, "You want any dessert? I have ice cream."

She looked over the back of the couch and into the open kitchen and admired the naked expanse of his back and she could only think of one thing she wanted for dessert.

A noise off to the side of the apartment drew their attention and soon the door was opening and a fiery blonde was standing there, keys and a thousand dollar purse in her hand.

"Jessa?" Ben asked dumbly. "What the hell are you doing here?" Anger finally kicked in.

Rey grabbed one of the couch cushions to shield her half naked self but the damage had been done. Her former client was gazing daggers at her.

AN: OMG Drama! Let me know what you think! I have the next chapter already planned out and plan to keep writing most of today! You're kind words keep me going!

Chapter Title Song: NOTD - I Wanna Know