Title:Between a Kiss and A Lie… Xanxus version
Theme:Scars
Inspiration Song for Story:Scars by Papa Roach
Pairing: X96
AN: Don't expect regular updates.
Emeline b: Bonté, j'ai été tellement surpris par votre commentaire, ne vous inquiétez pas, je peux comprendre l'idée générale de ce que vous voulez dire et je suis profondément reconnaissant. Je sais que très peu le français, alors j'espère que vous pouvez comprendre ce que j'écris, s'il vous plaît corriger mes erreurs grammaticales si vous voulez ^ _ ^
Donc, j'ai réussi à vous faire marcher sur le côté assez sombre que vous avez même rêvé, hein? (insérer rire mal ici) C'est un accomplissement pour moi d'avoir des gens conviennent à ma façon de penser et je pense que X96 est l'un des meilleurs choses dans le monde jamais! OUI! Hourra pour CRACK! Je suis si heureux que vous appréciez cette histoire et je prie pour que je ne serai jamais décevoir certains d'entre vous!
MewKew: Don't worry, I'm just happy to hear from you again ^_^; Yeah, Xanxus shirtless is one of the best things that can happen in this fandom so I can't blame you lol; this chapter has a shirtless Xanxus so enjoy him while you can ^_^ Seriously? I played the song again (gosh it's been a while since I last watched Bleach) And whoa you were right! It kinda fit, huh? Awesome song choice! LOL yeah, he's got anger problems. A stressball is defenseless against that anger!
Dragonbook: Okay; here's more; I'm so happy you are enjoying the story ^_^
Tina: Yup, totally psycho; can you blame him though after everything? Lol glad you enjoyed Chrome's appearance and I hope I will never disappoint you. The wings thing had always been on my mind for Chrome; I don't know it just sorta suits her, don't you think? Oh and about what happened between her and Tsu-kun (sniggers) sorry, not telling ;P
Black Diamond07: Oh it's so nice to hear from you again; I'm so happy you dropped me a comment, thank you so much; I hope you enjoy this chapter too ^_^
deadly-chronicles: Seriously I despise fangirls who bash Chrome in and out of the forums so it's up to us to show them up! They're all probably just jealous because Chrome can hang around with the guys so effortlessly! Mukuro gives her free hugs and we know how violent Mukuro fans can be (glares at Mukuro); no hard feelings, Piney but giving Chrome-chan some unnecessary hurdles here. Lol; anyway, I hope this cheers you up some more, d-c; luv ya! ~_^
BlackAngel'sWrath: Thanks so much for reviewing; I hope you got my PM about the blue blood thing? Yeah, it's one way of calling royal blooded people. Please enjoy the rest of the story ^_^
Indyctator: OF COURSE YOU ARE! I enjoy reading your reviews lol; thank you for the nice comments and I kinda agree; the only reason why I had Cornelio wandering alone was because Santiago was there for business and not pleasure like he was so they couldn't be together as much. Sorry about the smell of meat thing; ehe; but I guess it had the right effect, though?
Yeah, according to history lessons Spanish families really center a lot around religion and mainly Spaniards are Catholics the same as me as hence the knowledge of references and the fact that I was also a bit of an occult fanatic. I had to put myself in that situation with Cornelio and see just how I would see Xanxus' true nature with a naïve religious boy's eyes. Thank you so much for commenting about that.
LOL You squeal over Squalo having short hair; if that does not say obsession I don't know what will but okay I concede your point; swordsmen can be pretty hot (Me: TAKESHI! HUG ME! *chases after Takeshi with heart eyes while he runs away in terror*)
I'm glad you enjoyed Bel and how everyone acted when Xanxus busted out his Cambio Forma; I got the info fresh from mangafox after reading that part of the manga so lol; I'm glad I was able to use it in this fanfic.
Gosh, please enjoy this new installment; your reviews inspire me to give my chapters more detail because you pay attention to them so much. It's readers like you who make it writing this story worthwhile ^-^
Luv n' Kisses!
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Please Enjoy! ^_^v
Chapter 14
"VOI, woman! How is Dokuro doing?"
Lal stood at Chrome's bedside completely frozen as the door was practically kicked open and in came a glaring set of Varia officers led by that loud bitch Squalo.
"Don't you barbarians know how to knock?" She snapped at them, tensing her body for a fight if necessary.
"VOI, I asked the question here first, witch!" Squalo yelled back at her, waving his sword around.
Lal was about to snap back when she saw the way the strategy captain's silver eyes flick over towards Chrome's form lying unconscious on the wide, cotton sheet covered bed for a second. For a flash of that second Lal could have sworn she saw worry in Squalo's eyes. But it passed so quickly one could have probably mistaken it for constipation. Or gas.
But what in the world…?
And then she caught sight of Xanxus completely ignoring her and his officers and walking right around Squalo and her to stand at the foot of Chrome's bed and then just began to glare at the young woman as though she just killed his box animal and ate it. Lal then remembered how she arrived at the Varia base and saw the Varia boss carrying Chrome with a sort of gruff tenderness in his arms despite his indifferent scowl and followed them to this room to lay her with curious gentleness on this very bed before glaring at her and leaving with the rest of the Varia. That one look told Lal everything she needed to know.
He was leaving Chrome for her to fix.
As if she would leave her student alone in the kind of condition she was in.
That aside she set to work and used her Mist flames to stabilize the failing illusions of the younger woman's organs due to her unconscious and weakened state and the fact that she had used what had been left of her flames to aid the Varia boss. It took a couple of hours to do something that would have taken Chrome merely seconds to accomplish and again Lal was reminded how, although she was still superior in combat skills, Chrome's skill in controlling illusions was still far above the norm. Illusionists like her were as rare to come by as there were Sky flame users around; maybe even rarer. The Vongola truly lucked out when Rokudo Mukuro picked her for a vessel.
"She's going to be fine," Lal finally relented, not wanting to fight. She was already exhausted enough as it was. "She overused her flames to the point that she almost drained herself out of her own organs. I assume you guys know that basic information, right?"
"Of course, we were there during the Ring conflict," Belphegor replied with his usual grin but she noticed that he too was peering over at the bed repeatedly and was trying to get around Squalo to come closer. "We all saw her battle with Mammon."
"Tch, she's as weak as ever," Levi A Than harrumphed as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. "She's an embarrassment to Xanxus-sama."
"Well then it's a good thing she's not 'Xanxus-sama's' responsibility now, is she?" Lal snapped back at the tall man with a glare. "And for your information, the only reason Chrome is in this state was because she was already wounded and worn off before she rushed back here to help your ungrateful asses!"
The Vongola's Independent Assassination Squad officers were silenced at the claim for a moment and Lal blinked at them all. What was happening? She thought these idiots would have been yelling back at her that they didn't care already but despite the lack of a Vongola Hyper Intuition ability she could sense a tiny amount of— dare she say wonder— in them? Wonder that someone would do such a thing for them. They all still looked pretty gruff and indifferent, though. Not that Lal couldn't blame them; the only other person who would probably rush off to help them would be Sawada Tsunayoshi himself. And perhaps Yamamoto Takeshi and Sasagawa Ryohei; but then the baseball player was friends with Squalo and the boxer was close to Lussuria so she guessed they wouldn't really count.
"Oh my~ Chrome-chan looks like such a marvelous corpse! I swear, if she were a man I would totally add her in as part of my collection~! She looks like a doll!" the Varia Sun Guardian crowed as he came forward to Chrome's bedside to look her over. "What happened to her anyway~?"
Lal struggled not to cringe at the necrophilic bastard's words. She swore Lussuria was probably a mortician or an embalmer somewhere sometime in his life before he joined the Varia what with his fascination for corpses.
Deciding she'd rather not think about it, Lal took out a certain bullet from one of the pouches around her belt and held it up for all of them to see. "She took a bullet for me; we were ambushed while in a meeting. I wanted her to go to a hospital but she wanted to come here instead to warn you of the danger. On the way here we noticed how her flames kept decreasing like it were being eaten from the inside. And then she remembered that chemical she was telling me about and asked me to pull the bullet out; it was the reason we were delayed. As it was when I got it out and tested it with my own flame, we found out the bullet was indeed coated with the same chemical that doused your Dying Will flames."
"Shit, wasn't that the same thing they did to those goddamned missiles and the fucking plane that wouldn't die?" Squalo growled fiercely.
"Yes, it absorbs flames and forces them out of a person's body, forcibly expending it just like my Zamza," the COMSUBIN Ace showed them her box where her animal rested. "Chrome found out because she felt she was losing hold of her illusions with her organs. It's the reason why she was so weak by the time she got here. She was only planning to warn you but saw the situation when we arrived and rushed off to help. I was asked to get rid of the snipers hanging around the castle. Apparently, Trinidad's plan B was to shoot you in the heads if the missiles didn't work."
"Wouldn't put it passed the damn bastard," Squalo muttered thoughtfully before flicking his eyes back on Chrome. "And how did you two figure out how to stop the missiles if it was coated by the stuff?"
"Did she tell you she's got two flames same as mine?" Lal Mirch began, Squalo glared but nodded once. "Since the bullet was a danger to her we had to pull it out of her and fast by making an exit wound. But it was in too deep and lodged in between the bone. Forcing it out fast would require another shot through the entry wound."
"So you shot her again? In the same spot?" Squalo exclaimed and gaped, surrounded by the other shocked faces of Levi, Belphegor and Lussuria. "And she let you?"
"There was no other way!" she snapped back. "And because the shot needed to be precise I had to use flames to make sure my bullet doesn't miss and be left behind. However, every time my flames even touched her it would dissipate because of the bullet and the chemical's properties. It was already mixing in with her blood. I have to say that thing was some potent stuff."
"And then what happened?"
Lal blinked and glanced at the Prince the Ripper. It creeped her out that this was the first time she had ever seen the self proclaimed prince look so attentive about anything. She shot her sleeping student an incredulous look.
'Dear God, Chrome!' she asked her student mentally. 'Just what the hell did you do to the Varia?'
She decided to continue with her narrative. "We knew that if we didn't take the bullet out soon, she would lose her internal organs because her flames would soon be forced out of her by the bullet. She tried to help my Mist flames with her own Mist flames but it still wouldn't work. Then she decided to use her Cloud flames instead of her Mist because she needed to conserve that to prevent her organs from failing. To our surprise, even though my Mist flames were still being dispelled her Cloud flames held. Before I knew it she had my Cutlass in her hand and she was covering it with both her flames and shot the first bullet right out of her leg."
"So that was how she found out about the Dying Will Flame douser's weakness," Squalo said thoughtfully again but much more irritated as he tried to hide his awe. "Idiot woman."
"Ushishishishi… she's crazy, that one." Belphegor sniggered but Lal spied fine beads of sweat rolling off the young man's temple.
Heh. Who knew Prince the Ripper was squeamish about self inflicted injuries?
"She's marvelous~!" Lussuria cooed and blushed like a proud mother. "But I wonder how much pain she could take? Mammon once said Illusionists have a low tolerance for pain."
"Hmph, never underestimate my training strategies," Lal crossed her arms over her chest smugly. "Even if her stamina and tolerance for pain is far from 'Varia quality' she can still hold her own in most situations other single fighters would find hopeless. Besides, it's not her physical strength and stamina that kept her from collapsing while running back here; it was her will alone."
"Will~?"
"Her resolve," Lal smiled fondly down at her student. "While I was training her I found out that although her kind of resolve was quiet and unassuming, it was no less strong than that of… let's say Sasagawa Ryohei. But she doesn't need her flames to explode to make it potent."
She watched the Varia fall into a somewhat contemplative silence, wondering what they were thinking. One thing she was sure about though was, whatever it was they were thinking was somehow linked to the purple haired woman lying on the bed inside the room.
"Tch. Not that I care but what's gonna happen to her now?" Squalo continued to ask after a while.
Training men for a living and for a long time made Lal understand the gruff concern she could hear underlining those words. "I'll need to stay here until she regains enough consciousness to keep up her organs functioning herself. If not she's going to die."
"Tch, I thought Rokudo Mukuro is providing her with those illusions?" Levi grouched from his spot against the threshold of the door to the bedroom.
"She hasn't been dependent on Mukuro for organs since she was fourteen." Lal bit off defensively.
Levi just turned his face away much to the failed Arcobaleno's irritation.
"If you're staying then that's good," Squalo smirked at her predatorily. "I want to ask you some questions while you're here."
"Eh?" the failed Arcobaleno responded, rather perplexed by the shark like grin on Squalo's face. "What sort of questions?"
"About her," Squalo jerked his chin towards the woman on the bed, his expression very serious. "I want to know why Reborn put her up here with us when he could have given her to any other organization under the Vongola umbrella. He practically forced her on us when he came about a month ago to drop her off and fetch Mammon and don't give us that bullshit about chasing after the Arcobaleno curse; even the Bronco's not talking for some reason and we want to know what is going on."
Lal Mirch blinked. So the Cavallone knows something about what was going on but is no less secretive about the matter? Reborn what is going on? "Then why didn't you try asking around?"
"I HAVE!" Squalo yelled out in frustration.
"Squ-chan, lower your voice, Chrome-chan is sleeping~!"
"…Fine."
"So you asked around?" Lal turned the Varia's Rain Guardian's attention back to her, hiding her amazement that Squalo complied for the sake of her student. "And then what did you find out?"
"EH? Well…" Squalo blinked before scowling and narrowing his eyes at Lal as though returning her calculating expression. She could practically see the cogs in his mind turning and was probably thinking it would be beneficial to exchange information with her. Well, the reason Xanxus sent him on a lot of meetings with other Familias was because Squalo was the best at diplomacy out of all the Varia, after all. Despite his gruff and violent nature, the man knew how to negotiate. "Fucking bastards either had their voicemail on, be complete and utter dicks about it, hung the phone up on me or know absolutely nothing at all."
"So why ask me?"
"Because Yamamoto said you were her combat master and that you should know her better than anyone else."
"Why not ask Mukuro?"
"He's not in the phonebook."
"Did you check under 'D'? For 'Dumb Pineapple Bastard, That'?"
Squalo raised his brows at that. "Bitter much?"
"Oh you have no idea," Lal frowned at the memory of the male Illusionist. "I will never be able to understand just how Chrome could care unconditionally for someone who had shamelessly used her as he did."
The Varia frowned at this and glanced at each other except for Xanxus who continued to glare silently at the younger woman's unconscious form.
Bel shrugged. "Maybe she's just an idiot?"
Lal glared at the blond Prince and bristled. "Shut up! What do you know about her anyway? Of course you won't appreciate someone like her!"
Bel merely grinned at her. "Why should I care about a mere peasant?"
Lal smirked back. "She was the illegitimate daughter of a famous Japanese actress and a dead French duke; I don't think she quite qualifies as a peasant don't you think?"
The grin abruptly dropped from the prince's face. "…What did you say?"
Lal realized just what she had been saying and mentally banged her head into an imaginary wall. She also mentally made sure she left the imaginary wall with a sizeable crack on it and laughed at its pain. Lord, why did she always get carried away whenever she was defending this student? "Never mind."
"So Chrome-chan is a princess~?" Lussuria was blushing at the thought. "Oh so wonderful~!"
"I said she was illegitimate." Lal snarled, palm slapping onto her face.
"How do you know all this?" Squalo scowled at her, seemingly displeased that they didn't know all this information about the female Mist Guardian.
"Because we're CEDEF," Lal answered him through gritted teeth, deciding it wouldn't matter if she talked. Chrome's history was a matter of public record if one bothered to look into it, her records were not that hard to find. If no one else in the Vongola knew about it then it only meant that they didn't care enough to pull out her file folder in the Vongola's archives and read it. This was the first time in Lal's knowledge that anyone has expressed so much interest in the female Mist Guardian. "And did you actually think Iemitsu would let just anyone that had no clear background stay around his precious little boy? Of course we dug into her past as much as we could after Chrome joined the Vongola. It's our job."
"Mammon's records say her father was a businessman for a large international company," Squalo scowled again; mentally flipping through what files he had in his mind about the female Illusionist. "So that's not true?"
"That was her stepfather; Nagi's mother married him shortly after she turned eight, they're not blood related."
"Nagi?"
"Her real name," Lal mentally smirked at the thought of violating Mukuro's intimate knowledge of Chrome's real name. She loved irking the male Mist user and when he finds out that the Varia of all people have knowledge of his dear former vessel's original identity he would probably blow a blood vessel. Oh to be the fly on that wall… It would serve him right. "Is Nakayama Nagi. Chrome Dokuro is an identity Rokudo Mukuro gave her when they made that contract."
"…."
"…"
"…"
"…Lussu."
"Yes, Squ-chan~?"
"Remind me to kill Mammon when he gets back."
"Of course, Squ-chan~."
"If you know this much about her then you probably know why she's being thrown around in the farthest reaches of the Vongola," Squalo stared at Lal hard. "You're not letting her stay here to spy on us, are you?"
"Of course not; you're allies, not enemies; Sawada wouldn't allow that."
"Seriously though, what is going on?" Squalo growled at her in frustration after a while. "Is something going on in the Decimo's camp that we don't know?"
Lal sighed before turning her eyes back towards her student. "Sorry, I can't help you. I tried asking her about it myself but it was no use. Looks like the only ones who know are the people from Vongola HQ hanging up the phone on you all the time, the Cavallone, Reborn and Iemitsu."
"CEDEF's leader knows?" Squalo's silver eyes widened. "So it must really be a matter of the Family's security then?"
"Perhaps; I don't know," Lal sighed as she continued staring at the oblivious younger woman. "I tried to ask her about it once but… she doesn't want to talk about it."
"Shit."
"Exactly; if you do find out what's going on, call me; I want to know what reason I'm going to give to the Vindice after I strangle Reborn for putting Chrome here with you."
"Hey, it's not like we want her here, woman!" Levi growled at her.
"That's true but for Chrome this is a mission; and unless she gets other orders she won't leave and abandon a mission. She won't leave you even if you kick her out. Now she's stuck here until Reborn gets back," Lal grumped, not noticing the Varia officers exchanging glances with their brows up into their hairlines. "If it were up to me I would take her away from here in a heartbeat."
"What exactly is she, scum?"
Lal felt her blood freezing as Xanxus' rough voice suddenly invaded the room. She turned, her stance already on a defensive but found him in the same spot and in the same state as when he came in to stare at Chrome's face.
Not sure what the Varia boss meant, Lal started warily fishing. "Sorry?"
"Who does she think she is?" He remained unmoving but she could see the tight clenching of his fists as though he was deeply tempted to punch someone; Lal prepared herself to defend Chrome just in case. "How dare she get herself involved in my business while being so weak? If she wanted to die so badly then maybe I should just kill her here myself!"
"NO!" Lal tried to get in between Xanxus and the bed but the Varia boss caught her arm and twisted it around her back then pushed the small of her back with his knee until she was on the carpeted floor, holding her immobile without much effort. Lal knew it would be a mistake to struggle; judging from the scars on Xanxus' face, he was already angry enough. "What do you think you're doing? She's the Vongola's Mist Guardian!"
"What is she?" he growled back at her, effortlessly holding her down. "Why does she act the way she does?"
"That's just how she is!" Lal gritted her teeth against the pain. "If Reborn left her here with no specific orders then chances are she's acting how she usually acts when she's with the Decimo and the other Guardians! Protecting you and anybody within the Varia falls under her usual routine when she's not out on assignment! Chrome is a professional and she is loyal to the Vongola!"
"Bitch, don't give me that! If it really were just because of the job then why does she risk so much? Why did she say she was glad I was safe?" he snarled back at her, his yells growing louder with every sentence. "What the HELL does she want from me?"
Lal frowned. She never understood Xanxus even before the man attempted his revolt against the Nono. True he was malicious, dangerous, merciless and brutal but why he was all these and more were beyond her realm of understanding and she thought it was not worth her time trying to understand a traitor and a potential threat to the Vongola's peace. However, as declared by the Decimo, he was still an ally. And as leader of an allied Family, he deserved a measure of respect. Right now it would seem that the Varia Boss had fallen under the female Mist Guardian's trap.
It was said there were two reasons why people commit murder. Money and sex. How men and women would sacrifice everything they had just to possess either one. Although completely unintentional, Chrome had been the object of the latter.
With a horrified sense of foreboding, Lal realized Chrome confused Xanxus and that he was looking for things that aren't there. It wouldn't be the first time a person fell into Chrome's unintentional deception. It wouldn't be the first time someone misinterpreted Chrome's devotion and loyalty and twisted it into something so much more worldly. Lal couldn't believe Chrome's talent was so potent that even someone like Xanxus could fall under her unintentional spell.
"You think there's more to her devotion than there really is, don't you?" Lal asked the scarred man from her position on the floor, disbelief coloring every word. She couldn't help but pity the figuratively hallucinating dark skinned Italian. "You should stop. Chrome has a tendency to be too dedicated. She's not one to hold back in a job and usually involves her personal feelings when she works. It causes a lot of misunderstandings that's why she is seldom given any field assignments other than undercover ones or espionage. Whatever it is you're thinking she's implying by giving you that devotion it's far from the truth! She may be loyal to the Vongola but she's not doing it for you!"
She could practically feel his rage run higher at what she just declared.
Shit, Chrome, Lal couldn't help but think. I know you probably didn't do anything but you're definitely knee deep in hot water whether you want it or not.
This level of rage; this passion the Varia boss was well known for. Few had fully seen it go out of control but those who did know; despite appearances that it wasn't easily aroused or doused. Even Squalo and the others were nervous at the sight of it.
"So everything was a lie," Xanxus snarled at her, his grip on her arm tightening even as his scars started appearing. "She was here to play her games on me!"
"You don't understand! You've fallen for the illusion by your own will!" Lal sighed in frustration, cursing her student for her complex simplicity. "Chrome doesn't need to lie for anyone to fall for her deceptions! She's the only Illusionist who can't lie to save her life and one of two who doesn't use lies to deceive!"
"So she uses an advanced state of trickery?" Squalo took a chance now that his Boss had stopped screaming.
This got everyone to stop and stare at Lal in confusion and Lal sighed again in sheer exasperation. "No. In fact she is the opposite; she's too sincere!"
"Ushishishi… The Prince does not understand."
"All I hear is that she's a lying bitch." Levi scowled at the figure on the bed.
"But…" Lussuria was thoughtful now. "If she was lying… then what exactly was she lying about~? I don't remember any sort of information she was giving us except for the ones with La Justicia Pasada and through all that, despite what we don't know about her, everything else she's told us were all accurate."
"She doesn't lie even if her illusions can deceive! She doesn't need to! That talent of hers isn't even flame related it's just how she is and how others perceive her! She doesn't need to deceive others because others deceive themselves because of her!" Lal shouted back at them as they all turned their glares back towards her. "Everything that you've seen of her is real! Her dedication, her kindness and her concern are all true! But because of that sincerity, people she works with tend to believe what they want to believe and most of them think Chrome is being completely caring to them because she wants to be with them! And because of that they can't help but want her back and more! She's dangerous but she's so innocent she doesn't even know it herself; she's a little bit aware now after a few incidences and after I tried to explain it to her so she tries to distance herself from her charges! But that only seems to make people want her more! It's not something she can help!"
Xanxus looked as though he were slapped in the face as understanding crept in his brain.
Squalo gaped at her in the meantime. "So you mean Dokuro wasn't even using her flames whenever she's on assignment as a spy because… people already have a fixed sort of opinion about her?"
"How can she lie to people who had already decided what they want to believe?" she retorted.
It took a moment but Lal felt Xanxus' grip on her loosening slowly. When she was sure she could get away with it, she rolled from underneath his knee and crouch in a defensive position beside Chrome's bed. She was about to attack but was stopped by the stunned look on Xanxus' face that was now staring at the young woman's figure on the bed. Lal wished she could be in his brain at that moment. Whatever it was he was thinking must be very interesting indeed.
It was a tense moment before he finally broke the silence. "Does that… happen often?"
Lal blinked but straightened up before answering in a neutral tone. "So much that Gokudera had to keep her locked in headquarters for a while. Why?"
Xanxus may not be a handsome man but Chrome had always thought he was exceptional. Lal had always thought her student was crazy for thinking that but what her student meant was made clear to her at that moment in time.
He was exceptional because his rage made it so. It put so many emotions on his face that it was hard to keep up with and looking at those emotions were never boring. It was like reading a very open and a very torrid book; a book of horror and pain and rage and more.
If these emotions were put on paper, he would have been a masterpiece.
She watched as Xanxus turned on his heel silently seething and left the room, ignoring Levi's cries and the subordinates that followed him. And Lal was left alone to pray to God that this man was not harboring the kind of interest in Chrome that she was afraid he did. Because she didn't think Xanxus was the kind of man who would let the object of all that emotion fall far away from his reach.
Lal turned back to the bed and checked on the hold she had on Chrome's illusions again and said a short little prayer for the younger woman's safety. Having unwittingly attracted normal men who had fallen under her innocent deceptions was one thing but powerful men like Xanxus was another.
/*****/
Xanxus tossed back another glass of bourbon and welcomed the fiery stream it trailed down his throat. How he wished it could wash away the bitter taste of the realization and sensations running through his mind and body as well as the feeling in his head.
Tricked; but not really. It was all just fucking stupid.
He knew there was something strange about her; he never counted just how strange, though. The woman had him twisted in eight knots a minute the moment she said his name.
'Xanxus-sama…'
The scarred man clutched his glass in his hand tightly even as a hungry sensation climbed up from his stomach and made him want to bite his lower lip hard.
'Please… let me lend you my flame…'
God he could still feel her arms around him… Feel the breath from her lips while she whispered in his ear… He could still see the genuine happiness as she told him she was glad he was safe…!
His glass exploded in his hand, flaring as his flames made contact with the liquor before that too dissolved into nothingness.
But it was all just a lie; an illusion! He felt like a fool. What was he expecting? When he walked into his room and stared at her while the bitch Lal and his shitty subordinates babbled all he could do was stare at that woman's face and want nothing more than to wake her up. To make her tell him what it was she wanted from him. What she meant by wanting him safe. She made him feel like he was eight years old again and wanting nothing more than the appreciation of a mother who had long since said goodbye to her sense of reality.
Xanxus shot out of his chair restlessly and strode over towards his wide windows, looking out of it even as all his Varia minions worked overtime repairing the damages to his walls. Squalo may be organizing them through shifts but he didn't care as long as they got the job done. It was almost sunrise and working would be easier soon.
For a moment, as he stared at the brightening horizon, he could hear his father's words before he left Montalcino in a fit of rage.
'Are you in love with her…?'
Xanxus felt the bitter tang of those words as he was again proven inferior by the cursed Vongola Hyper Intuition.
'…Loving a woman like her would only bring you pain…'
The glass covering his window shattered from the force of his fist.
"SHIT! FUCK YOU! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! IT'S JUST A FUCK MOTHERING ILLUSION! SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME; NOTHING! I CAN PROVE IT!"
The Varia Boss started marching out of his room, uncaring about the fact that he was merely parading around in his pajama bottoms. He made a straight beeline from his study to his room. The room where he had lain Chrome Dokuro with uncharacteristic care because he didn't know where else to put her. Because it seemed right for him at that time to place her on his bed.
It was a good thing that he met no one in the corridors because the last memory in their lives may have been the sight of a scarred Xanxus walking half naked in the hallways looking like he was marching out for battle.
Yes, he should kill her, his fevered rage fought with the memory of how soft her breasts were against his back… how gently she held him like he was fragile glass… or how sweet her breath was against his skin… How he struggled not to moan when he felt her essence through the flame she had pushed into his body… How nothing existed in the world for him when she first wrapped her misty wings around him… How greedily his senses absorbed her touch like he was some weak mongrel…
The last thought had him clutching at his stomach, shocked at the sheer hunger such a thought inspired in him. It was the kind of hunger that made him want to rush towards the nearest liquor cabinet and milk it dry.
She didn't mean any of it! Why did it all matter so much?
"…re you're going to be alright here?"
Xanxus looked up when he heard Lal Mirch's voice. He was surprised to see his own partially opened doors already in front of him. He was so deep into thinking about her he didn't even notice he had arrived in his destination.
"Of course, Lal-shishou," the Varia Boss' hands clenched into fists at the sound of that voice. It sounded so trusting, so clueless he wanted to blast her into ashes right then and there. "You need to focus on getting that bullet over to the researchers and warn everyone of the potential danger. I'm sure what we discovered should give them a vital clue as to how to counteract that chemical. Please send Hayato-san copies of whatever you find immediately; he needs to know how to defend the Boss just in case they decide to attack him."
"I don't know, Chrome," Lal sounded very hesitant. "I don't think it's safe for you to stay here like this. Why don't you come with me back to CEDEF until you've recovered?"
"I can't," Xanxus took a peek from the edge of the barely opened door and his breath caught at the sight of the female Mist Guardian resting on his sheets. She was wearing a white dress, probably something Lal acquired to have the younger woman change into. It emphasized just how delicate she was, so small on something so large. "I have my orders."
"Aren't you scared? This place is not exactly full of sane people."
"I told you, the Varia are not that bad. Especially while they are led by Xanxus."
Her words stopped Xanxus' train of thought faster than a dam being shut against a wave of water.
"Chrome," Lal began a little uneasily after a while. "I've been wondering for a long time now but… why do you say Xanxus' name with such deep respect? Even before you came here, whenever the Varia and his name comes up, you never talk about him like an enemy. You know what kind of person he is, right?"
"Of course."
"Then… why?"
Xanxus leaned in closer; he didn't want to miss a single word of this explanation. Deep inside he needed to hear her answer.
"He is the Varia's Sky." she answered in such a simple way it was frustrating.
"…I don't get it." Lal deadpanned, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't understand what you see in them! They're violent brutish creatures!"
"I know," she blinked that wide, clear eye of hers innocently before continuing. "But haven't you noticed?"
Lal frowned. "Noticed what?"
Chrome smiled sadly and lovingly fingered the edges of his sheets before answering. "None of them are hypocrites. They are free to be what they want to be because they know he will always accept them for who they are."
Lal gaped at her. "Accept them? More like blow them up if they ever screw up!"
"That's because if they fail they'd get killed," Chrome smiled back at her. "If you read between the lines, you'll see he always acts on the best behalf of the Varia. He understands each and every one of them with such clarity it always amazes me."
"Understand? The man's a dictator!"
Chrome just kept on smiling. "He leaves everything to Squalo because he knows Squalo is dependable; I think the main reason he gets so angry that he could not be Vongola Decimo is because he also feels guilty that he cannot give the position as leader of Varia to him the way they planned years ago. He acknowledges Belphegor and generally takes care of him by keeping him from getting into too much trouble because of his tendency to make trouble. He might not show it but he respects Lussuria and appreciates how he provides everyone the support he can't openly provide and Levi… he knows Levi is very loyal to him so he refuses to treat Levi like a dog by humiliating him with petty orders even if Levi-san is more than willing to obey them anyway. He reminds me of the Boss; they are very much alike."
Lal stared at the younger woman in wide eyed wonder; Xanxus did the same.
What the hell was she talking about?
"In a society where everyone would shun them, he was the only one who accepted them and encourages them to nurture themselves," she continued, looking at Lal in the eye. "He may not look like it, but he's quite over protective of them. He's amazing, isn't he?"
Xanxus felt his heart stop. She said he was amazing. The only person he had ever heard say that was Levi.
"Overprotective? Are you out of your mind?" Lal exclaimed. "He hears about them dying and laughs! You must have been there during the fight for the Rain rings; he laughed when Squalo got eaten by a shark!"
Chrome quieted and Xanxus smugly leaned against his doorpost, satisfied that the stupid woman's prattle about him being so amazing was put to a stop. No one could possibly know him so well. No one could possibly be so perceptive or take the time to notice the kind of person he was.
"Do you remember the Ring conflict; when we fought over the Vongola rings? That time when he tried to take the seat of the Vongola inheritance away from Boss?"
Xanxus blinked. That was entirely unexpected.
Lal stopped but answered after a moment. "I wasn't there but Iemitsu made sure that event was properly documented. We have copies of the fights taken by the Cervello in our archives."
"How about the final battle; after Boss won the Sky Ring?"
"Yes, that too."
"Did you see the look on his face while he was shouting out his rage while lying there on the ground after being rejected by the rings?"
The scarred man straightened as his heart threatened to stop and his eyes widened, his pupils completely dilating.
No; she couldn't be referring to—
"I have never seen a man so broken hearted in my entire life."
Xanxus swallowed and combed his hair back with a hand; it was then that he had noticed he was shaking again.
He clearly remembered the emotions; the anger, hate, humiliation and defeat he suffered that night. It was doubled when he saw the complete understanding in Sawada Tsunayoshi's eyes when the brat told him of Timoteo's love. He had no eyes for anything else except the rings and Sawada but did she really see? Did she really care enough to look?
"You should have been there, Lal-shishou," her soft voice was like a pair of dull scissors cutting through his emotions. He wanted to scream at her to stop talking but he couldn't utter a word. It was all he could do to keep standing. "He was so desperate. It was then that I realized that beyond acquiring that power, being accepted by the Rings would have been a mere symbol for him… That what he truly wanted was for the Ninth to truly be his father."
Stop, Xanxus wanted to cry out.
"The want in his eyes for that fantasy to come true… It broke my heart…"
Stop, damn it!
"It reminded me of those days when all I ever wanted was for my mother to tell me that she loved me… Even if it was only once…"
I said STOP!
Silence invaded the room while Xanxus shivered outside wanting nothing more than to punch something. How did she know? How could she possibly understand the workings of his heart? How dare her sit there and dissect him like an insect and pour all her compassion, all her untainted, loving understanding and describe the workings of his mind?
The failed Arcobaleno broke it. "You're too accepting of other people's faults; this is the reason why you get in so much trouble."
"Hayato-san says the same thing." The younger woman replied sheepishly.
"You should listen to him more often." Lal deadpanned.
Her soft laughter drained whatever rage Xanxus had in his heart and, try as he might, he couldn't help but look at her face from the sliver of an opening that allowed him to look inside his own room. The smile on her face made his pores cry out wanting to touch her; wanting to feel that same warmth and softness she gave him when she embraced him to help against that damn Spaniard earlier that night.
"Then I'll be leaving later this morning to take the bullet over to the research team," Lal sighed as though giving up on trying to convince her student about the unreasonableness of her opinions. "You have your commlink so contact me if you need me. Don't worry, it's a secure line. I took the liberty of getting you some dresses. That wound needs to heal naturally for now so you won't be able to get into any pants in the meantime; you need to flush the chemicals out of your system completely before you can let Lussuria heal you with his Flames. The remaining toxins doesn't seem to be affecting you harshly but we can't take any chances. Thank God that effeminate Sun Guardian of theirs knows a thing or two about medicine."
"How long do you think it will take, master?"
"Hmm, try it out after a couple of weeks or so."
"Alright."
"Get some sleep," Lal gave the younger woman one her rare smiles. "I'll have Lussuria see what he can do about giving you a pair of crutches in the morning."
"Thank you, Lal-shishou."
Xanxus stumbled away from the room to head back to his study looking like Gyudon kicked him in the head.
Despite his dazed state he knew though; things between him and Chrome Dokuro will never be the same again…
Goddammit.
/*****/
Um... Please Review?