The following months are a bit of an eye opener. It's like I'm watching my own homecoming from a distance. Her friends and family are overjoyed to have her back home. The rest of the district celebrates the fact that for the next year the Capitol will send presents of food. But there's something else I see. I see a girl lost in some surreal world fighting to get back to reality. And I know that these next several months will be difficult.
"Mommy!"
My observations are interrupted by a pair of small hands wrapping themselves around my leg. Immediately I pick Boron up and hug him and I can't help but get emotional that Vac's mother will never hold him again. And under that is another fear, that one day I might not ever hold either of my sons again.
Alara can't sleep at night any better than I could. The difference is that I'm already up at that time and can deal with her nightmares. It's so strange to be the one chasing off the nightmares of someone else. Other than those who fought in the rebellion, I can't think of a single person that has lived through a traumatic experience. Alara and I get them in spades.
The Victory tour rolls around and it's much like before except I'm completely lucid this time. Alara has recovered a lot over the last few months. From the beginning I told Alara never to try and hide anything from the Capitol. The district is full of their informants waiting to fill their bellies. It's just how our district and probably the other districts work.
The tour starts off in District 12. Near the front of the stage I catch the glint of gold. Colvin's little brother and Clea's elder brother both wear their mockingjay pins. My own is on my belt and I let it catch the sun so they know I brought mine.
At each district I introduce her to the victors. There are a few that I don't know well since they never show up at the games. Those are the ones that are too far gone to even know what the Hunger Games are anymore.
On top of my responsibilities as mentor, there are a few other things I'm doing on this trip. First off is to assess changes in the districts. Most of this Marcus will already know seeing as he was accepted into Snow's group of advisors. Marcus made it clear that he doesn't want the position of president and that he prefers to work behind the scenes. Hopefully that will keep him alive.
The other is to find out what is happening to the victors. Jade's son is the most obvious sign that Snow intends to mess with my friends. I worry so much about my own family and Alara's that I left a list of code words. Amaranth called my house to see if I left my blue shrug. If everything is all right at the house whoever answered is supposed to respond 'what in the world is a shrug' if not they'd say 'Give me a minute I'll go check'. Each room in my house has a meaning so where they 'find' this shrug tells me what happened. Seeder will have the reply by the time I reach District 11.
On and on it goes. The victor whose district we're in calls my house for something and then calls the victor of the next district to ask them to pass on a message. I don't do this in every district, only a couple, enough not to be worried sick of the possibility of coming home to an empty house. Thank goodness that fear wasn't confirmed.