"Astrid, what's the matter?"
Hiccup's voice is more urgent as he asks for the second time, the panic in his voice growing as his girlfriend remains silent.
The last thing Astrid had wanted to do tonight was to explain to her boyfriend that her father hits her. It wasn't something people outside of her family knew about, and her mother had put a great deal of effort into keeping it a secret. The girl didn't want to have to answer all of the questions that would follow, or deal with the guilt that she feels because of her father's abuse.
"Astrid…?!" Hiccup asks more insistently, sitting up and gently pushing her away from him, just far enough so he can look at her face more easily. "What's wrong?" He asks with concern, holding her by her arms.
The girl shakes her head. "Nothing," she answers quickly, frowning slightly as she struggles to make eye contact with him. "I just…I hurt myself when I was practicing with my axe," she quickly says, struggling to come up with a plausible story.
Hiccup furrows his brow as he clearly doubts her words. "How did you hurt your side while practicing with your axe?" he challenges.
She hesitates for a moment, then answers, "Well, I was…practicing in the woods, trying to do a back summersault while I threw my axe. I didn't watch where I was going. There was…a fallen tree in my way and I hit that on my way down."
Hiccup frowns, eyeing her with a very skeptical gaze. The girl starts to panic inside. She hates lying to this boy that she loves, but she just can't bring herself to share her shame with him.
Suddenly Hiccup looks at her all the more intently, his eyes leaving hers to study her neck. She's about to say something when he leans in and looks closely at her throat in the moonlight. Astrid closes her eyes, sighing in resigned frustration as she realizes what he must have noticed. Swallowing heavily, she fights back the tears as she waits for his inevitable question.
"Astrid, why are there bruises on your neck?" he asks with grave concern. He hadn't noticed them at first because they are very faint, but now that he has a good view in the bright moonlight, he can very clearly see the discolored marks that encircle her throat.
Her heart sinks at his words. She hadn't thought to cover up her neck after her father had choked her, having quickly put the whole business out of her mind as soon as her mother knocked out the brute and they dragged his stinking, unconscious body to his bed.
Of course there were marks. What had she been thinking to ignore that?
The girl keeps her eyes closed as she feels her boyfriend pull back enough to look at her again. She doesn't dare open her eyes. If she were to look at him, she has no doubt she'd break down into a fit of tears.
That alone annoys her as much as the whole Gods-damned situation.
"Astrid," he says in a whisper. "Look at me."
She shakes her head firmly.
"It's nothing, Hiccup," she tells him, struggling to keep her voice level.
Silence.
She feels his hand upon her face and gasps, shivering at his gentle touch.
"Astrid, please," he whispers tenderly. She can feel his breath spill over her face, he's so close.
She shakes her head again even as her resolve falters, pulling away from his hand and forcing herself to open her eyes. Her heart contracts at the sympathetic look of concern on his face, at the love she sees in his eyes.
Setting her jaw, she says firmly, "It's nothing." She flinches at the hurt she sees upon his face at her words.
"Astrid, you didn't get those bruises on your neck by practicing with your axe. Someone was choking you," He asserts with a stern yet caring voice, frowning and furrowing his brow.
The girl panics inside. She has no idea how to cover this one up.
"Look, it doesn't concern you," she blurts out unthinkingly. She just wants this whole thing to go away. She wants to curl back up in Hiccup's arms again and forget the whole business.
Hiccup's face grows cold at her words, though. He stares at her with a mixture of anger and pain that makes her cry inside.
"Is this how you show me how much you love me?" he asks coldly, the hurt laced deep in his voice, "by shutting me out when all I want to know is how you got hurt?!" She flinches as he throws her words back at her, swallowing heavily as he adds, "I'm worried about you, Astrid!"
The girl's heart surges as fear grips it. The air feels colder as Hiccup regards her with that icy stare. Her stomach turns as she wrestles with pushing him away further, or sharing her humiliation with him.
"Please, Hiccup," she pleads with him. "Please, just…just let it go, it's not important…"
He narrows his gaze at her, staring intently into her eyes. "Not important?!" he asks incredulously. "You're being hurt by someone!" he nearly shouts, then watches her intently for a few moments. She says nothing.
Hiccup looks at her in disbelief. "After everything I've shared with you, after all the trust I've given you…you can't do the same for me?" She swallows bitterly, his words stinging as they hit home. Shaking his head, he says, "Astrid, if you don't trust me that much, then…" he stops talking as he chokes on his words, fighting back his own tears. He tosses back the blanket and moves to reach for his crutch.
Astrid panics as he moves to go, crying out, "No!" She lunges, grabbing his arm to keep it from his crutch, pulling him back towards her. Angrily trying to tug away, the boy turns back to look at her with a hurt stare as she clutches at him. Then his brow furrows in surprise as he looks at her.
The girl realizes suddenly that tears are streaming down her face.
She grips his arm like an iron vice as he tries to pull away from her. Her chest clenches in terror as she realizes that she's about to lose him. Of course, there's no way he can overpower her, but he still pulls, trying to free himself from her grip. Hiccup says nothing, he merely watches her intently, his expression a mixture of frustration, anger, and pain.
Unable to look at him anymore, she closes her eyes and drops her head, finally realizing that she can't keep this from him and keep him at the same time.
It's one or the other.
"Hiccup," she starts to say, her voice immediately cracking. She stops talking, clearing her throat and swallowing heavily. "I'll…I'll tell you," she says in a broken voice.
At her words, Hiccup stops trying to pull away. After a moment, the girl's hands slowly fall to her sides.
"My…" she begins again but then stops, finding the words stuck in her throat. Drawing in a deep breath, she sighs in resignation and forces herself to look at him, staring intently into his eyes as the tears stream down her cheeks.
"My father hits me," she says resolutely, suddenly determined to just take whatever judgement he might have for her.
The lad's expression turns to one of shock at her words, looking at her now with compassion and concern.
"He hits you?" Hiccup asks in disbelief, his voice a hushed whisper. Domestic abuse is almost unheard of in Viking communities, given the rights that women have to divorce their husbands for such mistreatment. The boy can't remember ever hearing of such a case in Berk.
The tears continue to roll down Astrid's cheeks as she nods mutely at her boyfriend's question. The girl watches him, feeling humiliated. She can't find any more words, now that her secret is out.
Furrowing his brow in disbelief, Hiccup asks, "Does…does your mother know?"
Closing her eyes, Astrid nods again. She hesitates, then adds in a faltering voice, "sometimes he hits her, too…"
Shifting closer to her on the bedroll, the boy asks in a perplexed voice, "Why doesn't…why doesn't she just divorce him and take you away from that?"
Shrugging, Astrid looks down, unable to keep looking into his eyes. "She…she wants to, but…she…can't…" the girl says weakly, trying desperately to hold back the floodgate of tears. She feels sick inside, dirty. The girl has never shared this shameful fact with anyone, and it feels terrible to do so now.
If it were anyone but Hiccup, she realizes, she would have never said a word.
Furrowing his brow, the boy asks in disbelief, "Why can't she?"
"She just can't okay?!" Astrid snaps at him, her head whipping up to stare daggers at him as the anger roils up in her. Hiccup leans back in shock and she lashes out further, "if she could have, it would have been done years ago, when this all started! But…" She snaps her mouth shut, looking down again as her shoulders slump. "It's complicated, okay?"
His mind whirling, Hiccup asks, "Astrid, how much does he hit you? Is this every day?"
The girl sighs in exasperation as she looks into his eyes with a weary gaze, "Hiccup, enough, okay? You wanted to know, well…now you know…just," she hesitates, feeling exhausted. "Just…stop with the questions, will you?" The two look at each other in silence for the space of a few breaths before Astrid lowers her gaze, unable to keep looking at the sympathy and concern written across her face.
The boy looks at her with amazement. He never expected this, and isn't sure what to do or say to make it better for her. His heart aches at the knowledge he now possesses, and he feels powerless to help her.
Then it occurs to him.
Maybe his father can help her.
"Astrid," he says cautiously, reaching out to touch her arm. She doesn't even look at him. "Maybe my Dad can-"
"NO!" Astrid cries, her head snapping up as she looks at him with a terrified and furious gaze. The boy again jumps, once more shocked by her reaction.
Swallowing, she draws a deep breath and says passionately, "Hiccup, nobody else can know." Hiccup furrows his brow in shock and disbelief at her words, slowly shaking his head. She grabs his arm with both hands as she sits up and leans towards him.
"Hiccup, please! I only told you because I don't want to lose you!" she says, the emotion swelling up in her voice again as she remembers the terror she felt at him pulling away from her. The boy furrows his brow, watching her with a confounded expression. "You can't tell another soul! Not our friends, not Gobber, not your father, not anyone!" She stares at him with an intense gaze while she clutches at his arm so tightly that it hurts him.
"Promise me, Hiccup, please!" she begs, her eyes filling with tears again. "Not a word, to anyone!"
The boy furrows his brow, his own tears starting to form. "Astrid," he says. "You're the woman I love, and you're asking me to do nothing when you're being hurt…?!"
"I'm okay, Hiccup," she insists, loosening her grip yet still clutching at his arm. "I love you, and it's so sweet that you're worried for me, but I'm fine, it's nothing…"
Hiccup looks at her with shocked disbelief. "Astrid, you are not fine! Do I need to show you the bruises on your neck?!" The girl looks down at his words. "How bad is that bruise on your side?!" he asks pointedly, reaching forward with his other hand to caress her cheek, trying to pull her gaze back up to his.
The girl resists, tugging away from his hand, yet still gripping his one arm with her hands. "Hiccup, you wanted to know why I have these bruises, well now you know," she spits at him bitterly, lifting her head to look back up at him with a hard and determined gaze. "But I'm begging you now, don't share this with anyone."
He sighs, pleading with her, "Astrid, I just want to help you. I…I need to help you. Please, just let me tell only my father…"
She grips his arm all the more firmly, shaking her head resolutely. "NO," she says harshly, staring intently into his eyes.
He furrows his brow, watching her guardedly. "What if I do…?" He asks.
The girl sets her jaw. Her heart clenches as she steels herself for what she says next.
"Then you and I are through," she says plainly.
Hiccups eyes grow wide at her words, his jaw hanging slack. "Astrid," he says, his voice pleading as his face twists with fear and sadness.
"I mean it, Hiccup," she says. "Promise me you'll never tell another soul. You take this with you to your grave, or we're done."
The boy's eyes fill with tears as he says weakly, "but I…just want to help you…"
The sight of it breaks her heart, and she feels her eyes burning yet again. "I know," she says tenderly, reaching up to caress his cheek, "and I love you for it, I really do. But I'm fine, Hiccup," she assures him. "You can't do anything here…" The boy closes his eyes as she strokes his cheek, tears streaming down his cheeks as the battle rages within him.
Terrified at the choice he might make, Astrid leans in and brushes her lips against his. He looks at her with surprise as she pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, her hand sliding down to stroke over his neck, holding him where his neck joins his shoulder.
"Hiccup," she begins, staring into his eyes as she speaks to him with a tender, passionate voice. "Hiccup, you spoke of trust, before. Well, now I've put my trust in you by sharing this secret. Nobody else knows except me, my mother, and my father. Not one more soul can find out." He looks back at her, his own gaze wet with tears. The girl can still see the uncertainty in his eyes. With her free hand, she takes one of his hands, entwining her fingers with his and holding him tightly.
She doesn't want to risk losing him, so she adds in a loving whisper, "The only way you can help me is to marry me, or run off with me." She smiles at him weakly as she strokes her hand upon his neck up to caress the side of his head, running her fingers into his hair. "Take me away from him, and he'll never lay another hand on me again."
The boy closes his eyes tightly, struggling with his decision to the last.
Astrid's heart twists in agony, the terror clutching at her as she's sure that he's made the choice that would take him away from her.
"Please…" she begs, her voice choking as she holds back tears. She squeezes his hand in hers, while gripping the side of his head firmly.
The boy swallows heavily, breathing a ragged sigh.
Astrid holds her breath as she waits for him to speak.
"I promise," he says, and she cries out with a ragged sigh of relief, throwing her arms around his neck, squeezing him to her. To her surprise, the boy grabs her arms and pulls her off of him, pushing her back to stare into her eyes.
"I promise not to tell another soul," he says resolutely, his gaze burning into hers, "unless I think your life is in danger." Astrid looks back at him with wide eyes, swallowing heavily at his amendment to the oath she wanted him to take, suddenly feeling unsettled.
She shakes her head and opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts her off.
"Astrid, there's nothing I love in this world more than you," he explains sternly. "I can't bear the thought of anyone hurting you, especially your own father." He grips her arms tightly as he barrels on, his voice becoming ragged the more he speaks. "It burns me inside to make this promise to you at all, but if he were to kill you, or do you real harm while I kept your secret…" He stops, his voice choking on his emotion. Closing his eyes, he lowers his head, trying to get control of himself.
Astrid winces, hurting inside at the pain she sees on his face. She wants to hold him, but he grips her arms with surprising strength.
He looks back up at her, tears falling from his eyes, "I could never live with myself if that happened, Astrid," he says with such intensity that she knows he speaks the literal truth. She swallows heavily, tears coming to her own eyes.
"So I'll keep your secret because you begged me to, but if I think for one moment that your life hangs in the balance, then I'll tell anyone and everyone that I think can help save you," he says with a ragged voice. "I don't care if you break up with me and never want to see me again afterwards…at least then you'll be safe, you'll be alive…" his voice crumbles as he starts to break down in tears.
His hands fall from her arms, releasing her as he slumps. Astrid immediately crawls into his arms, wrapping hers about his waist as she starts to sob along with him. She presses her lips to his as they weep together. The girl feels his arms wrap tightly about her as he kisses her back firmly. Against his lips she breathes a ragged sigh of relief as all her emotions come pouring out of her.
She breaks the kiss to bury her face in his shoulder, clinging to him as she sobs against him. Hiccup clutches her to him, squeezing her in his arms as tightly as she holds him, weeping along with her.
Toothless' Cove echoes with the sounds of the two young lovers crying together for some time into the night, the moon moving a fair distance before the place is silent once more.