Adventures in Living

Hello! Like I promised, I will try to keep really frequent updates now that my comp is fixed. I've been dying to write this entry, and I hope you all will enjoy it! Like always, same rules apply! Enjoy!

Tifa's Entry 4: Cloud

Then Tifa was finished reading through what Cloud had written for himself, she couldn't help but feel a great source of empathy for him. She honestly didn't know how he moved under all that emotional weight. He was so much stronger then he gave himself credit for, because she'd lived through a lot of it with him, and yet she had no idea what was going on inside that blond head of his.

She absentmindedly chewed on the cap of her pen before she realized she was doing it, then shook her head a bit to clear her mind. Cloud deserved to see what she thought to him, on paper and committed in writing for future generations. She took a deep breath and let it out, putting care into the first word she wrote.

Cloud

There is something, almost ethereal about this man. He's slim, but powerful, not tall, but he makes up for it in shear charisma, he's beautiful, with fine features and a delicate mouth. And his arms, there is something about his arms that just makes you feel safe and at peace with the universe. There are few people lucky enough to experience that secure feeling, but his embrace is the closest thing I will probably ever get to heaven.

He doesn't talk much, my best friend, truly a man of few words, but they tend to be profound when he does mutter them. And his eyes hold the burden of a million souls, all pushing on his heart to try and succeed in making it stop for good. If anyone could die just from the sadness and loneliness of life, it's Cloud Strife.

But, somehow, he pushes through, even if some of his decisions are wrong, or maybe not wrong but not right either, he still manages to pull from some spring of power within him and save the day. He says he's always late, which is true most of the time, but you know… I prefer late to never. Sure, he thinks he can stop me from getting hurt, but I'm a big girl and I'm going to defend the people I love no matter what… so where does that leave my poor Cloud? Picking up the pieces of my rash actions, and telling him self my injuries are his fault. If I had known that my promise would cause him so much sadness, I wouldn't have made him make it.

And yet, there isn't a single part of me that doesn't love that oath we made to each other. How many little girls get to have a Knight in Shining Armor? All right, so it's more like a Knight in Dark Blue Sweater Vest, but hey, I'm certainly not complaining. Remember those arms I mentioned? They're just as good to look at, as they are to feel around you.

I didn't realize how much I truly loved him until I lost him. And I've lost him a lot, and every time he comes back, the tension in my heart just twists a bit more, and I feel a more profound love every time. It was hard, when I couldn't express my feelings to him, I couldn't hug him, or kiss him, because best friends didn't go past that line, and never in a million years did I think that he would return the feelings. He loved Aerith, a memory, and an even distant memory… me… couldn't compare to the wonderful, chaste and pure Aerith. We were total opposites, how could I compete with her? I didn't, and I let myself believe that if I loved him, then I would let him go so he could be happy.

Then she died, and he almost did, and a horrible, heartbreaking series of events was put into motion that took my best friend away from me. So many times I've watched him fade away into the dark, left behind to watch his back. I know it so well, sometimes I think I've seen it more then his face. Well, I used to anyway, because he's come a long way.

People have always asked me, "Do you love Cloud?" Most of the time, I would never answer, since an answer had the potential to kill the one, tenuous, long-term relationship I'd managed to hang on to. Cloud has a way of diverting the subject when it comes to something that makes him uncomfortable. We all do it really, but he's got to be the master.

But now, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid that he will hate me, and leave me, because he didn't. He told me, I told him, and here we are! He sent me a text message, something he really doesn't like to do, it takes to much time and he prefers the conversation anyway, just so he wouldn't disturb me. He smiles now, it's a little smile, but I've never seen anything more beautiful. He moves like the two-ton brick building has been lifted off his shoulders. He still carries the scars, but now, I get to kiss and soothe them nightly, and he'll always look at me with passion in his eyes. I get tingly just thinking about it.

His scars are all over, down his chest, at his sides, his thighs, his arms… even one on his face, but I don't mind them, I think they are just as amazing as he is. Every one tells a story of survival. Especially the ones that nearly took him from us, those I give extra attention and love. I know I can't heal the physical scar, but I'm really trying to help him with the emotional ones, right underneath.

I love him, I'll tell it to anyone now, because he knows, and he understands now. We really do have our own little family now, and what I didn't expect was… he'd seen us as a family the whole time. I was the one who didn't see it, but now I do… now I really do…

And now I know that he really feels it too. I can see it in his eyes, he's happy for probably the first time in his life, and no one deserves it more then he does. He was here to save us all, but really… who's been there to save him? I've tried, as much as I could, but there were other things in his heart that I couldn't heal, that he had to do it himself. And he did a wonderful job, and I'm glad I get to be a part of his wonderful journey.

I love him, I always have, and I always will. This is for you Cloud, you deserve every happiness, and I'm glad you know that now.

May 3

She let out a soft sigh, an easy smile on her face. She loved that man so much; even the words she'd written seemed pale in comparison to the real thing. She flipped to Cloud's fifth entry when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said softly, and the door opened, and a black-gloved hand came in with a rather pink bag hanging off the index finger. She giggled, "it's alright Vincent, I'm in house clothes, you can come in."

He opened the door more, his hair slipping over his face, and he came over to the bed and set the gift bag down on the covers. "Excuse me for intruding," he said in his polite, gruff voice, "your neighbor said she wanted to drop this off, before the party."

Tifa nodded, "oh all right, thank you Vincent… oh hey… how did your shopping trip go."

The ex-Turk cleared his throat, looking up at her for just a moment before staring at the wall again. "Yuffie is not someone I really… like to take shopping. Her sticky fingers can add to an already stressful situation, but she behaved appropriately."

The birthday girl giggled softly, taking the bag and moving it toward her, then she nodded. "That's good, I told her she had to behave since I was letting her tag along."

"I appreciate that," he said, a bit of relief seeping through she noticed.

"You didn't enjoy the trip?"

"It was… adequate I suppose, they didn't have what we needed at one store, we had to go to multiple places."

"Did you like spending time with Yuffie?"

He blinked at her this time, and looked back over to her, not saying anything. The barmaid pressed a bit more, "you know, Yuffie needs a date to my party…"

Her comment was met with dead silence, and she pressed, "I think you should take her."

"That would be… inappropriate."

"Why?"

"I may not look it, but I am much too old to escort a mere slip of a girl."

"She's an adult, and so are you. I think you'd have fun."

"I don't have… fun."

"Sure you do, you can't trick me. Anyway, it's my birthday wish, you take Yuffie to the party so she isn't dateless."

He let out an exasperated sigh, "very well, as her friend."

"What else would it be?" She was gratified to see a tiny blush run over his features and he hurried from the room. "Oh those two so like each other… and they are both clueless!"

She opened the bag, pulling a rather risqué nightgown out of the pink wrapping. She blushed a bit, "oh my, what to they expect me to do with this?" She found a note, you should have some fun with that hot boyfriend of yours before the party… you'll be too drunk afterward for any fun.

She smirked at herself, "hot boyfriend indeed…"