I finally got back from my holiday! Hope everyone's summer was amazing...I can't believe it's already nearly over;( and if you live in London like me then you'll know we probably had the crappest summer lol;))

This next chapter is dedicated to all my reviewers: I love you guys so much- you really do make my day and give me motivation to carry on! And speaking of reviewers, I want to thank kathyb, Love the Brightest Star, Jojoboo90 and especially ehodgkins07- who reviewed ALL my chapters and left me such nice reviews! Thank you guys- and all my other reviewers- for having faith in me and enjoying my story continuously and for the nice things you always have to say!

This chapter is THE ONE. We all knew it would eventually come. I wanted so badly to post this chapter as soon as i had written it, but I realised I had one chance to make my dreams come true, to give you guys the BEST fourtris reunion EVER. So, long nights and editing got me to this...and I'm really excited to share this with you guys! I really, really, REALLY hope that you guys enjoy this chapter as much as possible and don't forget to leave me a review!

Without further ado, here's Chapter eleven...

D.D xox

Tris POV

I contemplate staying behind to listen to their conversation, but I want to get away from here as soon as I can.
I can't even look at him.

My feet drag me to the old hotel in the bureau, the only home we had here.
I stroke Tobias' cot as I pass, my fingers brushing the dusty linen. If I look around the room, the beds, especially Peter's, Christina's and Caleb's are still unmade, just like they left them. It almost makes me smile.
I lay down on my own cot, the sheets still tight at the corners, just like in abnegation. Just like Tobias'.

I should be happy that I can finally see him again. After four years of longing and regret, I finally have the opportunity I once dreamed of.
But I can't.
Not when I know he's been working with Nita all this time. Not when he's been away for so long that I don't know who he is anymore. I don't know what I've turned him into.

I realise now that I haven't seen Nita here in years- which explains where she was.

With Tobias.

The thought makes me scowl and I stop myself before I go any further.
But maybe he is with her. After all, why would I think he would take me back?

I move my head so it's resting on my pillow, and I hear the familiar crinkle of paper underneath it. I toss the pillow aside and find the note that Nita wrote to Tobias the night he went to meet her.

A tear rolls down my cheek and lands with a pat on my blue shirt. I scrunch up the paper and throw it across the room where it lands and rolls under Peter's bed.
Through all my anger and accusations, I forgot that he isn't the one to blame.
It's me.

I hear a soft rapping of knuckles on the door frame, and my heart stops short.
I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes and straighten up my posture.

Tobias' eyes are red- probably from lack of sleep, or crying, or both- but the same blue dominates them. The colour is so intense it could swallow me whole.

I swallow hard and force myself to keep looking at him.
"Can I come in?" He asks, his voice breaking with every word.
"Yes." I breathe.
His scent of sawdust fills the room as he takes a seat on the bed opposite mine- his cot.
I'm cautious to leave as much space as possible between us, even though I hate it. I feel like one touch will destroy him. I'll destroy him, again.

"I missed you." He starts. Confident.
I bite down in the inside of my cheek and stare at the crumbly, yellowing ceiling.
So did I, I want to say, but I can't force the lump out of my throat and the tears welling up in my eyes.
He takes a deep breath and locks his eyes onto mine, slightly shaking his head.
So insistent.
"You don't know what it was like to come back and find you gone." His voice quivers ever so slightly and I bite my cheek harder.
"I'm not going to pretend everything's alright between us. But how long are we going to avoid this?" He gestures between me and him.
I feel my mouth slowly drifting open.
I want tell him I love him, and that I want things back to the way they were.
But how can they? When it was my doing that got us here in the first place.

He reaches across and wipes the wet streaks from my face gently with his thumb. I hadn't even realised I was crying. His kneecaps are touching mine.
We are so close.
His fingers are calloused, but gentle- just like I remember.
I remember grabbing his hand back in Dauntless initiation, and I would contemplate doing that now if it weren't for our situation.

I left him when he needed me the most, I opened him up to the world- at his most vulnerable, and then I left him. His hand slides down my arm, sending down shivers I hope he didn't notice, and eventually reaches my hand.
I suck in a short breath when he runs his fingers along the lines of my hand. He folds his hands around mine, like a flower. Beautiful and delicate.
I feel something bubble up in me, something between hope and longing and frustration.
"I'm sorry." I blurt out.

I know sorry is a stupid word.
Sorry is like trying to put back together a broken glass with tape, hoping it will hold the water the next time it's used. But as soon as the water fills it, the tape lets go, the water splashes out, and you're back to having a broken glass.
"I just...don't know where to start." I whisper to hide my quivering voice.
"Let's start at the beginning." He says firmly.
It's a characteristic of his that I have come to appreciate- how in even the most dire situations he can still hold himself together, whilst also showing his strength simultaneously.

And the words start to flow: the attack drill, Matthews diversion, the guard's chasing me and Caleb.
I re-lived threatening Caleb, inhaling the death serum, David shooting me, seeing my mother. I watch Tobias cringe, boil with anger, break with sadness.
But no pity.
And I'm grateful he didn't- he still believes I'm strong, not helpless or useless.

He doesn't speak for a long time, and I let the silence fill me. It claws at me like a wild animal, making me want to scream, or yell, or something in between that.
I close my eyes, patiently waiting for an answer, for anything.
The silence takes me back to Uriah.
I learnt the news that he had died days after me, his machines were switched off by the doctors.

I remember crying till my eyes were puffy and my throat was sore and I couldn't cry anymore.
We all knew Uriah wouldn't make it, but somewhere inside of me I had some hope left that he would make it. The news of his death was no surprise, but all I could picture were his warm brown eyes and his goofy smile, and it tore me apart.

"I think," Tobias says slowly, "that what you did was stupid."
I'm about to retort, that I didn't just give my life uselessly, like when I went to Erudite, but I'm exhausted of explaining my actions to people, including David.
"..But, I understand what you did was out of necessity, not recklessness."
I let out a breath I was holding and fill my lungs with new, crisp air.

I place my palms either side of me, gripping the edge of the bed to stop them from shaking, and nod shortly.

"When we came back to the bureau, Cara met us at the door. She had a bandage on her head and...the look on her face.." he shakes his head and closes his eyes- like he's imagining the scene again.
I try hard to rid the lump in my throat, but everything seems difficult when I'm on the verge of breaking down.
I look at his face, his features twisted with pain and grief.

"She told us that something happened and...and you didn't make it." He finally looks up at me.
"You left me, Tris." A tear rolls down his cheek and I feel like I'm about to burst into flames. "Why did you leave me?" He whispers.

My words are at a short. I picture him and Christina and Cara all distressed and pained, because of me.
I should've done more. I should've fought my way back to him, I gave up in the midst of death.

He takes my hand in his and places a kiss on it.
I feel nothing. All my emotions are dulled and empty. Everything's been said. The truth was laid out to me on a platter.
And now there's nothing.

I should feel relieved, but instead I feel the guilt creeping up again- knowing that I made so many people suffer, my friends, family.
For so long, I thought that they would be strong enough by themselves, that they would heal each other. But what I hadn't realised is that every person has his breaking point, and for Tobias: it was me.

I lean in swiftly and touch my lips to his. He relaxes almost instantly and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I sit on his lap, ignoring the achy feeling in my gut.
Maybe this is what I longed for. To be able to kiss him without any barriers lying between us as always.
His hands slip into my belt loops and I place my hands on his chest, using him to steady myself.
When he leans in again, his kiss is stronger, more certain, and I let it fill all the emptiness that was once inside of me. He makes me whole, and I realise that all these years all I needed was him.

His contagious strength, his electric touch.
I let nothing stand in our way, not the fact that he's working with Nita, not our past, not anything.
Things will settle down eventually. And this time we'll sort them out together.

"I missed this." I say when we finally break apart. "I missed you."
I want to tell him I'm sorry, that I wish I could take back everything. But I can't. The words have no meaning, and it won't erase our scars.
He looks at me expectantly. He knows me inside out.
"If you're going to apologize again, tell me so I can leave." He says. His voice is low and steady, unlike my trembling hands.

"I didn't want to leave you." I recite what I had told Caleb before I left him.
"I know, your brother told me." He lets out a small laugh.
"He still hates me." He explains. I picture Tobias' knuckles colliding with Caleb's face and I don't know whether I should shake my head in disregard or laugh till my stomach hurts.

His face turns serious again before I can make up my mind.
"I'm going to ask you something, and you're going to be honest with me."

I hesitate, but I realise there's no reason to.

I want us to start again, I want no more secrets, no more pain and regret.

Maybe being so close to death has made me realise that's what I needed the most.
I hadn't realised what was in front of me until I lost it all.
I can't let that happen again.
"Okay.." I clear my throat then try again. "Okay."

He looks me straight in the eyes and I realise then that I'm still sitting on his lap. I feel my cheeks blush and I know they must be because the corners of his mouth twitch into a small smile before disappearing again.
"I want you to promise me something." He says hesitantly, as if he thinks he's asking for too much.
I grip his hand in mine and interlock our fingers together. He doesn't seem to realise. His gaze remains still, on me.

"I want you to promise me you won't leave me again."
His eyes plead me to say yes, to offer him a sense of relief.
"I promise." I breathe, my answer comes quickly.
This time, there's no guilt. There's no more knowledge that having said this I will still go to my own death in Erudite without a single change of mind.
And he knows it. He hasn't got a reason not to.

He kisses me again but I stop him short, our noses still touching and eyes closed.
"I want you to promise me," I say in the most even tone I can, "that you'll be strong without me. I don't want to hurt you.."
He tilts up my chin with his index finger and thumb and I stare into his eyes.
"You know I can't promise that." He shakes his head. "I can't be strong without you."
I feel my breaths quicken.
"I love you, Tris."

I don't even have time to say anything before his lips crash back onto mine again.
Something about him makes me feel like I'm going to turn into liquid, or burst into flames. Or maybe something in between.
Our breaths sync together, I pull him closer, but it's not enough. My hands slide around his waist and I lift his shirt over his head. I run my fingers along his toned abs and his soft, tanned skin. My hands slide down the Dauntless symbol, all the way down to Amity:
we have each other memorised.

I kiss him harder, wrapping my arms around his neck as his slide up my back, making me shiver.
How can you fall for someone so hard?

I think of the scars on my collarbone and on my stomach, healed with time but still permanent.
I stiffen when he lifts up my shirt, but then he kisses my abdomen and whispers "beautiful" whilst grinning, just like the first time.
And I believe him.

We both carry our scars with us, scared to show them to the world.
But we are stronger than anyone. He is stronger than anyone. Our scars are a mere representation of the pain we endured.
I fall in love with him more and more everyday, his strength holding me together, protecting me, empowering me.

I ignore everything around us, and focus on his breathing and his hands on me.
We aren't two separate people anymore- we are bound together with love and lust, longing and loss. He is a part of me I will never lose.
"I love you too, Tobias." I say between a pause, and he smiles.

I hope this was the Fourtris reunion you expected, or maybe better. Please don't forget to leave me a review, I will shoutout the best comments in the next chapter! Also! Tell me if you would Like a Tobias' POV on this chapter! I will GLADLY make one if it is requested, but if not I will just carry on with the plot. Here's where things start to get more interesting...hopefully...;)))))))

Be Brave x

D.D xox