"Doctor Farron? What are you doing here? I thought you were off." Miss. Read sipped at her coffee and raised one fine eyebrow as she leaned against the open doorway to Lightning's office.
"I am. I won't be here long. I just needed to go over a few things and speak with Fang about her on sight therapy before the board discharges her."
"Mmm." Miss. Read said with a slight nod before pursing her lips in thought. "About that..." Lightning could hear the tone shift in Miss. Read's voice. "I know it's not my place but are you sure she's ready to be discharged? She was only admitted a week ago and we've had her on suicide watch the moment she stepped in the door."
Lightning paused slightly before taking off her jacket and hanging it over the back of her chair. "I know it seems fast, but..." Lightning sighed slightly, unsure of how to reassure the concerned tech without revealing all that had happened in the last 24 hours. " Trust in my judgement. I promise it's what's best for her."
Miss. Read furrowed her brow slightly and despite the fact that it was clear she still held her reservations about her decision, Lightning had to admire her for her genuine concern for someone she barely knew.
"She'll be fine, Read. A lot has happened since she first got here."
"It's just..." Miss. Read paused unsure how to broach the subject. "She thinks she knows you... Loves you even..."
Lightning sucked her lips for a second, "Do you regret your role in helping her get me as her doctor?"
"No... It's... " Miss. Read paused and sucked her lips. "Maybe." She admitted and avoided Lightning's eyes as she stared at her coffee cup with slight disapproval. "I have faith in your abilities. It's just... " She sighed. "I thought she would respond well to you, and I wonder now if maybe all it's done is helped fuel her delusions... I've never seen a patient turn around that fast. I don't think she understands that her memories are false... She's hopeful, now... but she's going to get burned."
Lightning nodded to show she understood her concern. She had thought the same thing. Even when she realized that Fang's memories were real, she was certain that she would end up hurting Fang in the end when she couldn't be what Fang needed her to be.
She couldn't fault Miss. Read's intuition and she wanted more than anything to simply tell the woman that Fang was fine, that there wasn't actually anything wrong with her, but she knew she couldn't. If she started telling people that she and Fang really did know each other from past lives, she'd be out of a job. No one would believe such a wild claim, and when it came to light that she had crossed the line with her patient it wouldn't matter what proof she could possibly provide, she would be branded as an unprofessional deviant who took advantage of a patient's delusions for her own perverse agenda. "I wish I could tell you more, Read... but just know a lot has changed..."
"Yeah... I get it. Doctor/patient confidentiality..." She sighed and licked her lips, bringing her gaze up to meet Lightning's. "I trust you."
Lightning gave the tech a small smile, hoping it would help ease her concerns. "Speaking of Fang, do you think you could send her my way?"
"Yeah, I was headed that way anyway."
"Thank you." Lightning feigned a professional smile as Miss. Read left and let a sigh escape after the woman had rounded the corner. Lightning didn't care for lying, especially to someone who had nothing but good intentions, but the situation called for discretion. There was no scenario she could imagine where her and Fang would come out on top. Even if they did happen to somehow believe them, they would be subjecting themselves to a life full of tests and scrutiny. The best she could hope for was to simply keep it quite and enjoy another full life with Fang. As curious as she was about the entire strange phenomena, Lightning could easily admit that if she had to choose between knowing, and a quite life with Fang... well, there really was no competition. Fang and her had found each other in every timeline, every life, every reality... She knew what she would be missing. She wouldn't pass on another opportunity to experience it all again.
"Mmm... Did you lock the door?"
"Mm." Fang moaned a confirmation, never lifting her lips from Lightning's neck, enjoying the familiar taste of Lightning's skin after years of yearning.
The confirmation was all Lightning needed in order to relax and redirect her attention to the woman atop her again. Even though they're relationship had just started, a part of Lightning felt like they were simply continuing an infinitely long relationship. It had all the passion and excitement of a budding relationship but the comfort and trust of one in it's twilight. It was familiar and yet nothing like anything she'd ever experienced.
Almost the second Fang had entered her office the two embraced. Not even twenty-four hours had passed since Lightning's flood gates had given way to her myriad of memories, and yet she felt completely comfortable in Fang's arms already. The two moved in unison to the chaise chair, kissing and caressing each other, intent on taking in as much of the other as they could in the short time they would have. Fang laid Lightning out on the chaise, eager to show Lightning just how much she had missed her. Fang had settled over Lightning's body and brought herself against the warmth of Lightning's body and continued to kiss her and hold her.
The two were becoming reacquainted with one another. It was deja vu in the most surreal sense of the word and neither of them could get enough. They held each other close as they took each other in. They shared their warmth and soft moans and even softer giggles. It was a pure experience of reconnecting, the interaction itself was almost non-sexual... They simply wanted- needed to touch one another, to feel the comfort and sense of fullness that they had been missing all their lives.
It was strange how quickly they became in tune with each other again. Fang would bite Lightning playfully on the jaw, something she knew from her many past experiences that caused Lightning's toes to curl, and in return, Lightning would thread her fingers through Fang's wild hair. Small acts that were remnants of times long past and expressions of love that that were never quite forgotten.
Lightning had been certain all her life that she would never find someone she would truly feel at ease with and yet, feeling Fang's body so close to hers; her weight on hers, her lips on her skin, her smooth voice in her ear, it all felt right. As if Etro had woven their souls together in the unseen realm before breathing her life into them.
Lightning shivered and arched her neck back as Fang trailed soft kisses along the exposed skin. Her skin prickled at the touch. The feeling left her body humming. With her fingers still threaded into Fang hair, Lightning gingerly guided Fang's cheek to hers and nuzzled herself softly against Fang's temple.
"I missed you, Light..." There was a slight crack in Fang's voice and she immediately pressed her temple more firmly against Lightning's. Fang hadn't felt whole in years. She'd been lonely, and unsure of her own sanity for so long it had driven her to near suicide, and now, with Lightning finally in her arms, Fang was finally feeling a sense of relief she didn't know existed. Throughout her life, she had come to see her pain as a constant. It was so ingrained into her that it was hard to let go of it, but she knew something better was on the horizon. She had seen it, remembered it, felt it. The hole she'd felt in her heart was mending and she finally felt the validation after all the doubt she'd experienced. She held Lightning tighter.
"I'm sorry..." Lightning held Fang close. It was all she could do. There was no amount of apologizing she could do to make up for the pain her absence had put Fang through. She could only imagine now what it would be like to know this love and not have it. The simple thought of it made her heart ache and she felt guilt knotting her stomach knowing that she'd been that source of pain for Fang. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry."
"You stop apologizing. Y' hear me? You've got nothin' to apologize for..." Fang pressed a kiss to Lightning's temple.
"It's just-"
"It's just nothin', Light. You're here now. That's all that matters." Fang pulled back a short distance to look Lightning in the eye and she could still see the apology in Lightning's guilt ridden gaze. She knew Lightning well enough to know that she wouldn't forgive herself anytime soon. Lightning was quick to blame herself for things that were out of her control. The woman was so used to managing the world around her that when something came along that she couldn't make fall in line, she would dwell on how she might have done things differently if she could do it all again. Fang sighed and ran a thumb along Lightning's cheek. "You just being here is all I've wanted."
Lightning knitted her brows and frowned. She wanted to let Fang's words sooth her guilt but she wasn't one for affirmations. She closed her eyes and moved her head slightly to the side and into Fang's hand. There was still so much she wanted to apologize for but she knew Fang wouldn't hear of it and so she dropped it, and instead focused on the strangely nostalgic feeling of having Fang so close to her. She breathed in deeply and let the smell of Earthy wildflowers overwhelm her. She felt herself relax as she let her fingers play at Fang's soft hair. She could feel a numbness start to permeate her body and tingle though her fingers as she fell into a memory.
"Shhhh!" Lightning scolded Fang as Fang tripped over a pair of shoes in the entryway. "Quiet!"
"It's not my fault! I can't see!" Fang defended herself in a hushed tone.
The lights were off in the Farron home as the two drunk girls stumbled their way inside, well after Lightning's curfew. The house was quiet and any sound, however small, seemed amplified in the dark, still home. The two tried to be as stealthy as they could in their clumsy state, but their efforts weren't well rewarded. Each time one would trip or knock into something in the dark the other would have to stifle a laugh at their expense.
After Fang had ran into the kitchen table, Lightning took her hand in order to guide them. Even though Lightning new the familiar home, it was still the blind leading the blind as she tried to find her way without turning on the lights and waking her family.
Eventually Lightning felt the soft material of the large couch bump against her free hand. She paused for a second and ran her hand along the length to determine where she was in relation to it before she pulled on Fang's wrist and quickly collapsed onto the couch, pulling Fang down on top of her. Without a word, their mouths were on each other's in heated kisses. They had been flirting and teasing each other all night and they had finally reached their tipping point. Their teenage hormones got the better of them and the two indulged themselves in clumsy drunk kisses until the dark room they were in was suddenly illuminated in a bright white light.
"Not the most stealthy, Claire."
With a start, Lightning hastily pushed Fang off of her and the Pulsian hit the hard ground with a groan.
"What's going on here?" Lightning's father stood at the end of the couch with his arms crossed, waiting for an explanation.
Lightning felt her heart beating in her chest and winced. "Dad... It's... um." Lightning sat up on the couch and winced again seeing Fang pull herself up off the floor, rubbing her head where it had hit the coffee table on her way down.
"Who's this?" Mr. Farron's voice became a little sterner as he regarded the two drunk teenagers.
Lightning sucked her lips for a second and looked up at her father, feeling her head spin slightly. "This is... my friend, Fang..."
"Friend, huh?" He lifted an eyebrow at his daughter and Lightning felt her chest tighten with guilt. She knew that he had seen what they had been up to, but she wasn't willing to concede just yet. Her father ran his tongue over his teeth in thought. "You're past your curfew..."
"I know... We... we were running a little late." Lightning said and avoided her father's tight gaze.
Mr. Farron shook his head in disappointment.
"It's not her fault. I kept her out. I'm sorry."
Mr. Farron turned his gaze on Fang and frowned. "Are you also responsible for getting her drunk?"
Fang winced and Mr. Farron shook his head again. "I think you'd better leave."
Fang looked back to Lightning who only gave a small nod as if to tell her it was okay before Fang lowered her head and nodded. Mr. Farron waited silently as Fang left and Lightning sat on the couch, dreading what was to come.
Her father paced back and forth in silence, letting Lightning's mind race with anticipation and fear. She'd never broken curfew before, never come home drunk before, and had never been caught bringing someone home with her before. Now she had managed to do all three in one night. She could feel the guilt in her throat as she watched her father pacing, and waited for the onslaught she was sure to follow.
Finally he stopped and breathed in deeply before turning to look at his guilt ridden daughter. He stared at her a moment longer and furrowed his brow in thought. Finally her sighed and his face softened. Silently he sat next to her on the couch, and like her, took to looking at his hands.
"I wish you wouldn't lie to me, Claire... I know what it's like to be a teenager, believe it or not... I can forgive the occasional broken curfew, even the occasional drink... but I just want you to be honest with me..."
Lightning knitted her brows together. "I didn't lie to you..."
"The next time you plan to go out and party... you tell me."
"The party wasn't really planned..." Lightning corrected.
"Well, next time you call and let me know. I need to know where you are, understand? I hate worrying..."
"Dad... you don't need to worry about me." Lightning said and glanced up at her frowning father who still sat staring at his hands.
"Well, I do..." He sucked his lips and looked up at the fireplace mantel to the picture that sat above it. "I promised your mom I wouldn't let anything happen to you."
Lightning fallowed his gaze to the picture of her late mother and looked away guiltily. "I'm sorry... It won't happen again."
Her father took a moment and sighed before turning to look at Lightning, a small smile forming on his lips. "So... your friend, Claire?" Her father gave a slight jab to her side with his elbow before chuckling softly. Lightning felt her cheeks flush.
Lightning groaned and placed a hand to her throbbing temple, becoming all too familiar with the headaches her memories brought on. "How long was I out?"
"Not long... couple minutes." Fang said quietly as she brushed a strand of hair out of Lightning's face.
Lightning kept her eyes closed and sighed as she felt Fang, now next to her, begin to gently stroke her cheek with her thumb.
"What was it about?"
Lightning let out an amused puff of air. "We were coming home from a party... drunk... and my dad... My dad caught us." Lightning knitted her brows and opened her eyes in slight realization. "Funny... I... I had kind of forgotten what he looked like..."
Fang furrowed her own brow in sympathy. Even she could remember Lightning's father. The image of his almost silver hair and strong narrow jaw was something she couldn't easily forget. He'd always had an intimidating look about him that could melt away in an instant the moment he smiled, just like Lightning. Lightning even had his steely blue eyes, how Lightning didn't see her father every time she looked in the mirror surprised Fang.
"How old were you when he died?" Fang asked.
"Ten? I think?" Lightning stared up at the ceiling taking comfort in the feeling of having Fang so close to her.
Fang frowned. She could recall Lightning's parents easily. Fang's lifetimes of memories were filled with moments of the Farron family, just as they were filled with moments of her own parents. Even though they were gone they were still there in Fang's mind. She'd gotten used to having them, to knowing her family through her other lifetimes. Lightning didn't have that. Not until now. Fang was so used to it she couldn't imagine forgetting her own fathers face. She knew she would one day when her mind began to fail, but so young?
Fang stroked Lightning's cheek and placed a kiss to her temple. In a lot of ways the memories had been a curse for Fang. A constant reminder of what she didn't have and what she longed for. A constant reminder of painful ways she could lose the people she cared about. But there were times that those memories brought her solace. When all she needed was a familiar face, or a happy memory, all she had to do was close her eye and she had a nearly infinite source of memories waiting in the back of her mind.
Lightning continued to frown at the ceiling. "I've never known him that old before." The more she thought back on her father, the more she remembered of him: times where he had handed her off on her wedding day, walking with him through the park in his old age, or arguing politics with him at the kitchen table. Even though his face changed and aged throughout his lives into someone Lightning had never actually seen, Lightning still felt the familial bond. "Surreal..."
"Yeah... it's not all bad, though... Even though you didn't get to experience it first hand, you'll still get to enjoy the memories... and there are a lot of memories." Fang smiled.
"I can't believe you lived your whole life like this..."
"That stuffs easy," Fang, chuckling softly. "Just wait until you're trying to sleep and start thinking about all the embarrassing moments."
At the mere suggestion of embarrassing moments, flashes of memories seemed to appear before her eyes and Lightning felt her cheeks flush. She was surprised she could have forgotten them at all, time and space be damned. In an instant she could recall herself, naked, bent over the back of her own couch with Fang behind her. Fang's hands were grasped firmly onto Lightning's hips as she pushed her pelvis flush against Lightning's backside over and over again, pushing the toy she had harnessed to her hips deep into Lightning. That in itself didn't embarrass her, but when her mother walked in and caught them...
Lightning groaned inward to herself, turning her head and burying it into Fang's patient scrubs.
"What are you remembering now?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
Lightning couldn't stay the whole day with Fang or she would risk the suspicion of her coworkers, so after her short visit with Fang, she instructed her to keep herself busy over the weekend. After parting ways, Lightning made her way to talk to the board about Fang's discharge while Fang went about busying herself.
"Read!" Fang called out and jogged up to the busy tech, as she walked down the corridor doing her checks on the patients in the ward.
"Keep it down, Fang."
"Sorry." Fang grinned and Miss. Read raised a questioning brow.
"What can I help you with?"
"I was wonderin' how to get into one of those art groups?"
"Trying to earn some points so the board will discharge you?" Miss. Read raised a curious brow.
"Actually, I was hoping to draw something... though I won't say no to the extra push with the board."
Miss. Read smiled and shook her head before motioning down the hall. "If you hurry you can catch the next class. End of the East wing on your right. Just give your name to the assigned tech."
Fang nodded her thanks and made her way down to the East wing, ignoring the sounds of someone waling from their room. When she had first arrived at the hospital, the distressed sounds around her had bothered her more than anything else there. She had felt out of place but now she was certain it was just a matter of time before she would be released. Now the horrible waling was no more than background noise to her. Everything was just temporary and soon she would get to start her life over, with Lightning by her side.
Fang slipped into the class that was already in session.
AN: This fucking chapter was so hard to write and I have no idea why. I wanted it to be longer but I'm frustrated with it so this is what you get . Ugh...