I looked around the hospital room. It was normal. Dull even, the only thing that gave the room life was the wilted flowers by the sharps container, and the painting of the lighthouse by the window. That had almost no color even, the dismal grey sky, and the white light house. Hell, the whole room was bored. Just looking around made me depressed.

I couldn't sleep, couldn't function knowing what I was going to do. Running away was one thing, but this? This was, there was no phrase that could describe what I was doing. A suicide mission maybe. That was the only thing I could compare it to. That I could try to compare it to. I was lost, floundering around. No one to talk to. Peter, I don't even think that's his name, left some scissors and black hair dye on the counter in the bathroom.

The room was so cramped; I needed to breathe air that wasn't tainted with the smell of medicine. I mulled over the idea of standing on the edge of the window. Air, that's all I needed. I sighed; no one would see it that way. I thought about going outside of the dull little room, but I didn't want to walk by the doors of the sick kids. I was put in the pediatric unit because I wasn't over the age of eighteen. Stupid rule.

Defeated, I laid back on the bed, thinking about my roommates and my sort of boyfriends friends. Whenever they came, the visit was very long, and very silent. No, not very silent it was just silent. No talking. The sound of quiet breathing and the occasional cough. Bundled up in my blanket, them in the chairs just staring at me, or the wall. And when they left it was always the same, Liz would come and squeeze my hand, and Jonas nodded following her. Nick smiled briskly, Macey would pat my hand in a comforting way, Zach moved my hair off of my forehead and kissed it, he always waited for Bex. Always. And I didn't like it. It was like they were inseparable never without the other. The one that stung the most was Bex, she ignored me. Eyes on Zach the whole time she ignored my existence.

I wasn't supposed to be in the hospital anyways. They even asked the nurse, not me, why I was still in there. She replied: "The patient has requested that it be confidential." I smirked Zach's smirk satisfied. I turned over and stared at the depressing lighthouse. Peter requested that I stay longer because he, playing the part of my brother was, 'concerned'. But in actuality, he snuck me out of the hospital and he taught me to use a gun. Aiming, how to assemble it, disassemble it, to shoot, shoot for the kill. We hadn't even covered it in school yet. I brought one with me though; even a fool could shoot a gun.

I stayed in the hospital for a week. It irritated Zach, and Bex but I think secretly the rest of them were glad for a break. I got up. Tomorrow was the day. Peter didn't tell me anything. Only that they were coming for me, and not to escape. I saw a shadow under the door, sitting up straighter preparing to fight, the door opened. It was just Peter.

He patted my leg as he sat down at the end of the bed. "Let's go over some things."

I nodded. "Actually I wanted to know if you know when they are…coming." He smiled.

"No. I do not know, but I do know however…"

"What? What do you know?"

He laughed, and leaned back. "Where you will be going on this fine trip." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"First they should take you to somewhere near here," he scanned a neatly folded paper, shaking his head "It doesn't say where, but is wooded, and rather large. Then they'll take your somewhere," He squinted looking confused. "Either in Austria or near Austria." I nodded.

He smiled and patted my leg once more. We sat there in silence for a while; it wasn't awkward silence like with my roommates and Zach's friends. It was comfortable, no words were needed.

"Good luck Cameron." I shook my head "It's Cammie." He ignored that as he walked out the door. "Oh, you're supposed to be discharged tomorrow, so I left you some clothes."

I glared as the door shut. I looked into the clothes he left me. A nice forest green sweatshirt, with a faded T-shirt, jeans and some shoes that looked sturdy enough for a cross country hike.

I was in the bathroom, hands gripping the sink leaning over, looking at myself, Do you really need to do this? I sighed. The protective gloves were alrady on be and berfore i could talk myself out of it I was massaging black dye into my hair. Once that was done, I set the timer and waited. Grabbing the white towels I wiped at the excess dye on my neck, pausing I stared at myself in the mirror. Completely different. Rinsing my hair out, until the water ran clear, putting the conditioner in, waiting, rinsing again.

Once my hair was dyed I looked over at the mirror. It wasn't enough. I grabbed the scissors forcefully, snip, snip, snip. I followed my jaw, but it became uneven so I had to… even, it out so it ended up a little above my earlobe. The hair that was in the sink was black; I told myself it wasn't mine.

Well I guess I lied.

A/N: first off I'm going to say that I'm sorry for dropping off the face of the world for…oh almost five months? I'm sorry again :'') but I'm back now, and since I left fan fiction for a while I have two chapters for you and I'm on mobile so when I went on the computer I realized how short the chapters are. Oops? I hope you like the chapters, feedback is appreciated. Love you guys