Chapter 14

Another week had gone by. And another. An entire month apart and Haley had been doing a copious amount about her and Nathan together. Her therapist told her to journal her dreams and she had. The last month was extremely difficult for her. Seeing Nathan, tutoring him, dreaming of him. One thing she wanted to talk about in therapy was to configure a way to try to get him back.

"I'm done being alone." She cried. She'd spend time alone in her room thinking and brainstorming about her trauma and what that meant for future relationships, mainly her and Nathan. She'd been talking about it with her therapist twice a week and it really seemed to help and to make sense of everything she was feeling.

Lucas and Nathan had been hanging out more in the past couple of weeks ever since their little sleepover. They'd talk and played video games and bonded like brothers do. Lucas was currently teaching Nathan to cook. He was making pancakes from scratch.

"That seems easy enough." Nathan commented.

"Yep." Lucas turned off the stove and served up the pancakes. "My mom taught me a few years ago. And since these are plain. You could add bananas or anything."

"Cool." Nathan said. "Good." He commented once he took a bite. "Maybe I might make these for a lady friend."

Lucas stopped eating and looked up at that. "What? Are you already over Haley?"

"No, man. But, I need to move on." He said sullenly. He didn't like to think about it for too long. Otherwise, he got depressed. "It's been a month."

"I know." Lucas said taking a drink of orange juice. "It's just . . ." He stopped not sure he should say anything.

"What?" Nathan asked. "Do you know something?" Lucas didn't say anything. "Luke?"

"I don't. But Peyton told me Haley's been dreaming."

"Dreaming? What?"

Lucas looked in pain as he said it. "Dirty." He didn't want to know what his best friend was dreaming. And especially about his little brother. "Don't probe me anywhere. That's all I know." That's all he wanted to know. And even that was too much.

"Wow." Nathan said. That surprised him. Haley was having sex dreams about him. He couldn't believe it. But it really shouldn't matter to him. They weren't a couple. But he wondered if it meant something to her. It had to, right?

"Stop." Lucas scolded. The look on his brother's face said it all. "Don't even go there. You said it yourself, you have to move on."

That was before I knew she was dreaming."

Right on time. Peyton drove up to Haley's house to give her a ride to school. "Hi Hales." She waited until Haley was buckled in before she took off. "Any more dreams?" She prodded.

"Yes." Haley blushed. "I was not expecting it."

Peyton looked over at Haley who was nervously zipping her sweatshirt up and down. "Really?" She asked. "The same dreams you've had daily? I'm always expecting them. Anything strange about this one?"

Haley looked out the window and back at Peyton. She didn't really want to tell Peyton about her dream. But she'd told her about her other ones. "No offense Peyton, but not today. Not this one."

"Why not?"

"I just can't Peyton." Haley stated. "Can you leave it?"

"Sure." She shrugged.

Dr. Lotz wrote a few things on, her legal pad as Haley talked about her dream and her thoughts. "So, your last several dreams have been vividly sexual. The last two haven't. Why do you think that is?"

Haley shrugged. "You tell me."

"Well, I can't tell you exactly but I can help guide you."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Okay. I know."

"So, what was different about your sexual vs. non sexual dreams?"

"The intimacy. The non sexual was more intense and believable. I guess because it felt more real."

"Haley, dreams are a fantasy of sorts. And the past few of them for you have been more of you playing out what the main objective you want from Nathan."

"And what about the sex dreams? Are you telling me I don't want that?"

"You've never truly experienced that. You think about, but you haven't quite talked about it. Not with him. And even if you did, it might not go the way you want." She said.

"So, what should I do?" Haley asked. She was more confused now than ever before. Wasn't the objective of therapy to help her sort out her problems, not cause more.

"I think you should start with part one. What's the first step for you in getting what ou want?"

"Nathan. I guess I have to make the first move." She did not like that part. It seemed way too scary.

Dr. Lotz nodded and smiled. "I'm gonna give you some homework. Outline the steps you'll need in order to get what you want. Just basic steps to win back your love."

Haley didn't know. He seemed logical. But yet it seemed like it would be difficult. But as long as she took small steps to achieve her goals, she figured it wouldn't be that hard. "Okay, I'll try. I'll do it.

"Good." Dr. Lotz said. "And remember don't fret if things don't go the way you want them to."

Haley nodded. She knew that but it was probably good to have a reminder. "Yeah. Thanks."