Chapter 14
"Vegetable dumplings, not again" Ranma muttered as he looked at the food covered in the table. His stomach churned yet the dish seemed unpalatable that he did not bother getting a piece to relieve his hunger.
"Ne, it's been a while, hasn't it," Akane said almost melancholically as she sat across Ranma in the table.
"That what, we've been eating vegetable dumplings?!"
"Shh!" the girl quickly leaned over and covered Ranma's mouth. "Kasumi might hear you! She's already sad enough to begin with you know?"
"Kasumi? Sad? What are you talking about?" he lazily put his arms around his head and lied down in the floor. "She was smiling when I saw her a while ago."
Akane shook her head at her fiancé's denseness. She rested her chin on her hand as she stared towards the kitchen. She was a bit worried about her older sister. Lately, she just didn't have the energy and the life she used to have. Sure, the house was still in order and everything seemed to be in its proper place… but the way she often saw Kasumi moving mechanically, it just seemed as if something was not right. "I tried talking to her, but well…"
Ranma went back to his sitting position, and saw her gloomy expression. Suddenly concerned himself, he tried to think of words to appease her. "I think she's all right. Don't worry too much about it. Maybe she's just a bit tired, that's all."
"But that's not it. Lately, she's been more tedious about fixing things in the house than she was before," she remembered how she ended up seeing her sister in the dojo late at night when she decided to let off some steam. She didn't expect anyone to be there and Kasumi's late night cleaning schedule caught her completely off guard. "I can't quite put a finger to it but I know something must be wrong."
Ranma leaned his chin on his hand and thought about it himself. Well, there was that incident almost a week ago when Doctor Tofu came unexpectedly during dinner time. They were all ready to flee for their lives, but surprisingly enough, no chaos ensued. To be honest, he thought that in that night, Kasumi and Doctor Tofu had the most coherent conversation they've ever had. "Could it be because of Doctor Tofu?"
"Oh? What about Doctor Tofu?"
"Ka…Kasumi!" the pigtailed boy gasped when he suddenly found the topic at hand right beside him. She had the usual grin she had in her face and it made him feel like she was perfectly all right. "Oh..n…nothing. It's just that I've been surprised to see him around lately."
"Is that so?" she tilted her head slightly and stood up once more, "In that case, you wouldn't mind having him as a guest for dinner tonight would you?"
"A guest…"
"…tonight?!"
The younger pair suddenly stood up awkwardly from where they sat and when Kasumi looked up innocently at them, they visibly calmed and sat back down.
"Oh Ranma, Akane," the eldest Tendo child touched them on the shoulder, "did you have something planned beforehand? I'm sorry for only telling you this now. But anyway, if you want any of your friends to come over as well, it would be perfectly all right. I made enough for everyone."
"What, more vegetable dumplings?" Ranma muttered, earning a sharp kick from Akane from underneath the table.
"No, it's okay Kasumi-Oneesan, we were just surprised, that's all," Akane smiled, "It's good that Doctor Tofu's been visiting more lately."
"Ee," she nodded, "he had been away for quite a while. It is wonderful that he's now making time for us."
"So you missed him didn't ya?"
"You're right Ranma, I suppose," she grinned then as she suddenly looked down, "but I shouldn't be missing him anymore now should I? He is back, after all."
"Yeah, I bet he's glad to see you again as well," the pigtailed boy crossed his arms and nodded knowingly, "So I guess it would be good if we walked around for a while so that you can talk to each other privately."
"Oh no, there is no need for that," she laughed, "after all, I made some pork dumplings for you Ranma… oh… oh my, I should get back to the kitchen…."
Soon she was out of view once more and it took the boy all he could not to scream for joy. "Did you hear that Akane? Pork! Pork Dumplings!!"
"Baka," she muttered as she looked towards the direction of the kitchen, "I was right, she was sad."
"What are you talking about? Can't you see how excited she was? She even made a special dinner for Doctor Tofu. For once I'm pleased that he's actually coming for a visit!"
"Hmph, men" she muttered, suddenly walking out of the room.
"Hey Akane, where are you going!" he called, curious yet not bothering to go after her.
"None of your business you unfeeling jerk," he heard her say behind the thin paper door.
"Tss… women," he mumbled to himself as he lied down the floor, hoping to take a nap and wake up in time for dinner. "Those dumplings better be good…"
Kasumi barely heard the affianced pair's conversation. She was busy trying hard to focus on what she was doing. That had been a hard task lately and it bothered her somehow. It was because her thoughts often drifted somewhere… it was because she often remembered…
She shook her head as she tried to recall the dim sum recipe once more. She should check if the pork is cooked enough… it shouldn't be overcooked nor undercooked. It should be just right… she must add the shrimp… the garlic… How was she supposed to wrap it again, she asked her self as she got the thin wheat flour wrapper. She should put it in the center with a spoon… and pull gently… that's right…
"squeeze it a bit and use a fork if it's too hard for you," she heard his voice in her mind, "pull your fingers closer together," he added, as he placed his hands over hers and guided her as she tried to seal the dumpling.
She felt the contents touching her middle finger as she realized that the wheat flour wrapper got ripped.
She blinked once or twice and realized that she was alone, and the voice she heard was merely in her mind. There was no hand guiding her, there was no one smiling behind her as he watched her progress. She shook her head and tried again, trying to be more careful this time. She placed the mixture in the wrapper and pressed it together. She pulled it closer and closer … until… alas, the wrapper got ripped once more.
"You should be gentle, like you're touching someone's heart – did you know that dim sum means just that? It's like a gift of love."
"A gift of love, huh," she mumbled unconsciously as she tried it for the third time, trying her best to be as gentle as she could possibly be. She squeezed the two ends together and when she saw that it did not break or re-open, she let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding.
She made around twenty more and placed it in the steamer, wondering at the back of her mind if she should've made more so she probably could give it to… No, she thought, he was probably too busy. She couldn't just go visit him in the Nekohanten. He probably had better things to do – that's why he hadn't passed by for the longest time. Maybe he was trying his best to keep up with Shampoo…Maybe he was working hard… and that is exactly what she must do as well.
Much to Ranma's delight, Kasumi started setting the table a few minutes after. Sure enough, he started smelling the tempting aroma from the kitchen. There was the smell of bamboo… soy sauce…pork… and his mouth watered as he deciphered the other scents carefully in his nostrils. Whatever it was that Kasumi cooked, no matter how many courses it had, must be a feast. Surely Akane had been wrong with her speculations. Kasumi surely was not sad, judging from what he smelled at the moment, Ranma said to himself with a proud nod of his head. He only wished that she would deliver as she had promised… that there truly was enough for everyone.
The smell of the food was like meat thrown to a pack of hungry wolves. Just as Ranma was about to hold his chopsticks to be ready to attack once the food arrives, he heard some shuffling and soon the rest of the household was beside him. Soun took his usual seat at the end of the table and Genma took his seat beside him. Nabiki walked lazily with a notebook in her hand and Akane was shuffling behind her, still looking a bit worried and still looking slightly annoyed for her fiancé's insensitivity.
"That smells quite good Kasumi," Soun told his daughter warmly as he saw her enter the dining room with more bowls in her hand. "What's the occasion?"
"Doctor Tofu," Ranma mumbled, replying for Kasumi. "I think he's invited for dinner."
"He's… coming? Now?" Soun asked, slightly panicked. "The last time," he bent down and whispered to Ranma, "he wasn't just drunk then, was he? Surely it would not be chaotic now, would it?"
"Hmm…. I don't know," Ranma shrugged, "If you're a bit scared, you could always go away."
"And what, make you have more to yourself?" Genma muttered as he slightly hit Ranma at the back of his head.
"I'm just saying that…"
"Shhhh!" Soun suddenly sat up straight as he saw his eldest daughter re-enter the dining room with what seemed to be a hotpot in the tray she was holding.
"Maybe we should wait a bit longer," Kasumi said softly, a tinge of apprehension in her voice, "It's not like Doctor Tofu to be late. Maybe he just had more patients today than usual."
Soun and Genma nodded quietly, yet their expressions were grim, almost vengeful to a certain extent…
"Well, Kasumi, this is just a suggestion but, maybe we can start dinner without him and we'll just make it quick, that way, you can have the rest of the time." Nabiki said in her usual calculating tone as her eyes never left the notebook she was reading until she finally glanced at her sideways, "together. Alone"
Her well enunciated words made Kasumi blush suddenly as she took her place in the dining table, "Ma… Nabiki, I'm sure it would be more fun to dine with everyone around. After all, a meal is best shared with family…"
"Or with a loved one," Ranma added abruptly as he warmed up his fingers from under the table, carefully maneuvering the chopsticks in his hands. The aroma of Kasumi's cooking truly was different tonight and surely it would result in another fight…
"Dummy, what do you know," Akane muttered, slightly surprised at Ranma's sudden references to romance, and slightly annoyed at how her whole family schemed to taste Kasumi's latest creations sooner than possible.
"Maybe you're just jealous because you can't cook…" the pigtailed boy said slyly, somehow already prepared for a violent response… she was just so cute when she was angry… What? What the hell was he thinking… Akane… cute?!
Nabiki watched the exchange between the two and decided that a rumble would totally not sit in with her stomach tonight. "Hey Kasumi, I just remembered, I have to meet this guy tonight… he owes me," she mumbled as she remembered the exact digits of the Kuno residence's home, "you would keep leftovers for me, if there are any, would you?"
"Sure thing Nabiki," Kasumi grinned slightly, "are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"
Her younger sibling merely shrugged and walked out the room. Once Nabiki was out of sight, Kasumi heard Akane and Ranma's quarrel escalate into greater proportions.
"You unfeeling jerk"
"Stop doing that Akane, it's making you look more UNCUTE."
"Stop arguing by the dinner table,"
"Fine"
"FINE"
"Kasumi, I think I'm not so hungry after all."
"Aha! So you ARE on a DIET!"
"NO I am not!"
Kasumi sighed resignedly at all the chaos around her. How could she not, when this atmosphere was completely normal to her now. Yet before she heard the sounds of mallets hitting wood or paper getting ripped, water splashing and two parents admonishing, she finally heard the doorbell ringing.
"I'll get it," she said cheerfully, although no one seemed to hear her as everyone was suddenly standing by the dinner table and almost ready to attack, counter, support and restrain.
She felt the wind suddenly touching her face, it was cold, slightly comforting.
"Goo…Good Evening Kasumi," the expected guest mumbled, "I…I'm sorry I was a bit late,"
He was wearing his usual clothes, his worn Kimono and his perfectly round glasses.
"It's perfectly all right," Kasumi smiled, "I'm happy that you're actually spending time with us,"
"It's… it's nothing," he grinned as he looked sideways and rubbed the back of his head. "Pleasure's all mine."
"Come in, come in," Kasumi said. Tentatively she reached out to pull him through his hand. Her grip was light at first until she realized how cold his hands were and tightened her hold, "Oh my, you're chilled Doctor Tofu,"
"No…ah…ahahahahaha!" his glasses suddenly fogged over and stars could almost be seen on top of his head… either stars or floating pink hearts. "Chilled, chilled? No not at all, the refrigerator is full of water right now, and lots of soya milk. It is said to cure cancer you know?"
"That's wonderful," she said, laughing a little, "Doctor Tofu, you like bird's nest soup don't you?"
"Birds? Oh… I haven't seen one lately. Must be the weather."
He almost forgot to remove his slippers by their door and he almost slipped by the corridor. He couldn't help it. His motor skills and overall coordination seemed to melt away at Kasumi's mere presence… he never knew that her touch… her touch would truly be as sweet as he had imagined.
But no. He must not loose it. He surely must not … or else… or else…
"It isn't that great Doctor Tofu but, I hope you like it, I cooked it especially for you."
I cooked it especially for you… he words kept ringing in his mind that he did not notice the chaos outside the room, the old man suddenly appearing and the sacks of underwear flying around… no, he did not notice that one side of the table was already missing and broken chopsticks were already stuck in the floor, like misplaced wild grass on the side of the road. He did not notice the splashing sound, repeated curse words, vengeful words, angry words. No his sense completely blocked out everything until nothing was left.
Nothing but him, Kasumi and the food she cooked for him.
"I… Itadakimasu…"
Even the soy sauce tasted sweet. His glasses were fogged up so badly that he could not see her face anymore. It was a good thing, he realized, as seeing her smiling, unruffled and calm like she always was might probably propel him to oblivion.
Compliment … he must give her a compliment… but how can you describe perfection without depreciating its ethereality?
"It's the best meal… I have ever eaten Kasumi," his voice was shaky and she thought he was about to cry, "I … it's… it's just so wonderful…"
"Oh Doctor Tofu, that's very nice of you to…"
"Ono," he said seriously his eyes downcast with shyness, "Please call me Ono… I mean… that is … If you want to."
"All right… Ono," she said shyly herself, as if trying the words in her tongue, "It is the first time I've cooked a full course Chinese meal. I hope you liked it."
"Absolutely!"
Kasumi grinned once more, although not as heartily as she had wanted to. She tasted the food she had prepared and found it tasty although without knowing the true verdict, she could never tell if it were really good or not. After all, the one who taught her how to cook the meal could never taste what she had made.
She could always invite him … or bring him some leftovers… but no. He was probably busy…and he was probably overly satiated with Chinese food already to begin with. And besides, she cooked for Doctor Tofu… Ono, now didn't she? And he liked it, and everything was fine. Wasn't it?
She was quiet, Doctor Tofu thought as he chewed the heavenly pork dumpling in his mouth. Was she watching his table manners perhaps? Was she measuring his knowledge of etiquette and finesse? He sat up as straight as he could that he almost felt his spine overstretching. But it did not matter, his image was at stake. A fractured spine would truly be a cost forgone if it were for Kasumi. Yet as the fog in his glasses disappeared, he finally saw her, smiling thoughtfully as she tasted the food she had made for him. She was smiling… almost melancholically. How he knew such things… well, he was unsure himself. Yet his doctors' intuition… and his own heart, his very heart that longed to beat with hers told him of her seemingly hidden sorrow.
"Kasumi," he coughed slightly to get her attention, "Is something bothering you?"
"Oh my, I'm perfectly fine," she said, blushing slightly as she realized that she had been caught off guard.
"How is your health?"
"I think I'm all right, although I haven't been able to sleep that much lately."
Concern suddenly filled him with much intensity that he felt his throat constrict momentarily; "Loss of sleep?" his mind quickly went over all the illnesses, the symptoms and the diagnoses he had stored in his memory. Lack of sleep was an indication… a symptom more than a sickness in most instances. It was a symptom of a wide array of diseases, from grave to trivial, from something at the basics of medicine to beyond its reach.
"When did this start?"
Doctor Tofu sounded so serious that she almost felt guilty for bringing the subject up. The poor doctor had just ended his shift and there she was, consulting, in the dinner table of all places.
"Oh, it happens from time to time. I'm sure it's nothing," Kasumi said as she put more dumplings in his plate, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it; it might have spoiled your dinner."
"No, not at all," he said, suddenly feeling his concern taking over, washing away his extreme shyness. Before he was even aware of it, his hands suddenly found hers and with a serious tone he said, "Whatever concerns you concerns me as well," not just because I'm a doctor but because… but because…
He abruptly let go, when he was brought back to his senses by a flying mallet that almost hit him in the head. It hit the wall on the other side of the room and suddenly, he was aware that not only were they not alone, but also surrounded by the typical chaos that ensues around Nerima whenever a certain pigtailed boy or girl was involved.
"Um… doctor… Ono… just… wait here for a while, all right? I'll just get something in the kitchen," Kasumi said apologetically as she got up from her seat and shuffled to the kitchen as she had said.
What was happening to her, she berated herself as she realized how foolishly she had been acting for the past few days. Why was she so upset? Why was she so lost and confused and so … bothered. Nothing was wrong. In fact, everything was perfectly normal again. She would wake up tomorrow, earlier than usual to pick up the mess everyone had left the night before. She would go on with her life, doing her chores, alone as she always had. She was to be calm, "normal", oblivious to a certain extent.
Was she complaining? No, of course she wasn't, she deduced after listening to her heartbeat. She had been doing this almost all her life since her mother died. This was her life now. This was her life since before. Yet why does she feel so lacking, so empty? Why only now?
Because you miss him… a voice said at the back of her mind. Miss him? Who? HIM of course, her mind seemed to reply, almost tauntingly. We've been through this before, she debated with herself, and he did not belong there in the first place! He belonged somewhere else.
How could he when it felt so right when he was here… the voice said again. Suddenly frustrated at herself, she suddenly felt the side of her lips twitching uncontrollably. Soon she felt wetness in her eyes. No… she was too old for this, she thought. She was acting like a helpless toddler.
He's happy where he is, she thought, it would be best if she became happy, as always, as well. It's not like he's out of her life forever… it's not like he had been a conscious part of it in the first place.
Everything would be fine… everything would be fine; she chanted it like a mantra. Air. She needed air.
Doctor Tofu sad idly in by the dinner table, probably unaware of his stupor since Kasumi left. Was it something he said? Was it something he didn't say? He was torn between running after her and running away. Yet he knew he was asking for too much. Maybe he wasn't that brave enough to be with her just yet. Maybe… maybe Mousse was wrong in believing too much in him.
"I'm sorry Ono," she said as she knelt down and sat beside him in the table once more. "I know this is sudden but… If… well… if you wouldn't mind, would you care to have tea with me… in the park?"
"In the park!?" he felt the muscles in his neck suddenly spasm.
"I'm sorry Ono, it must be odd for me to be saying this when you probably are not done with dinner…"
"Su…su…sure Kasumi! I'd go where you'd go!"
Without saying another word, the two of them left the house. Kasumi walked on with a thermos and two teacups at one hand and Doctor Tofu dazedly following in tow. He was partly thinking if he were in some alternate reality of some sort where all of his dreams suddenly came into fruition or if it were all just a practical joke centered on him, like one of those common prime time shows he often caught nowadays on TV. Was this all a dream? Did he deserve all of this?
Soon he found himself sitting on a swing, with Kasumi beside him, a teacup in both of their hands and he could feel the warmth coming from the tea inside it. He heard the faint cry of the chains as he moved slightly in the swing and saw the moonlight perfectly illuminating the contours of Kasumi's face.
And then he saw it once more, her melancholy look. If only it were a disease, a certain kind of pain he can easily cure. If only he knew if it was truly sadness he saw in the first place. Yet being the stuttering mumbling and bumbling fool that he was around her, he truly felt helpless and unaware of how to cure her from the strange malady.
"You… you can tell me Kasumi. I'm… well… I'm your friend, aren't I?"
"Of course you are," Kasumi said as she touched his shoulder, "Oh Ono… I'm sorry. I have been acting strangely; surely you must find me weird."
"Of course not, I'm the weird one, not you." He said as he sipped the tea in an effort to calm himself.
"It's just that… I've known you for so long… without really knowing you. Do you know the feeling?"
He nodded slightly, not sure if he should take what she said as a good sign or a bad sign.
"It's like how I view my life these days. It's like I have lived it without any complaint, any feeling of discontent, whatsoever. But lately, I have realized that there was something lacking. It's like… there was a feeling I was supposed to have but never really felt… as if I needed someone. I wanted someone… something…"
Her head was downcast and he felt a bit disturbed when he didn't see the usual happy aura in her face.
"I am here. I can be … your friend." He didn't hear the words escape his mouth. He did not know the words at all.
"Thank you; you're too kind Ono,"
"No really, you would never know how much it would matter more to me than it would to you." There it was again, the trancelike flow of words from his mouth… yet it happened so quickly that he didn't have time to feel ashamed. Maybe this was what Mousse said… it was a flow of emotion straight from his heart.
"I am glad that you have been visiting us frequently lately," she said wholeheartedly, smiling a genuine smile at the thought, "That was really very nice of you."
"You… enjoy my company?"
"I have just been very lonely lately. I do not really know why," she said, although the voice at the back of her head nagged her once more. Of course she knew why. She just didn't want to admit it to herself. "I enjoy your company, very much."
The doctor blushed a light tint of crimson despite the cold weather. How could this be? Why was this happening? He did not know if his heart could take any more of this.
The two sat in the swings in silence for a while, both of them afraid of destroying the moment or disturbing the peace. It was as if both of them reached an understanding. Although a connection wasn't built, although no deep relationship was established, the comfort their mere presences gave to each other somehow made them form a bond.
Soon Kasumi stood, grinning shyly with her eyes downcast. "I… it's getting late. I'm sorry for keeping you up. I knew you had a hard day and all… but …"
"No, It's nothing," he quickly replied, already thinking how sweet his sleep would be after the time he had spent beside his beloved Kasumi. "It is I who should thank you for spending your time with me."
"But I barely maintained a conversation… oh… oh my, I should really make it up to you, somehow."
"But you already made that dinner for me, remember?"
"You're right… but still," she said, unable to keep the guilt off her voice.
"Well then… if you insist," he felt his heart thumping, his mind racing. This was it. It was the point of no return. He could flee now and regret it for the rest of his life, or fight and prepare for a possible heart stopping event in the future. "If you wouldn't mind… that is… if it is ok with you… I… you… me… together… on a… well… date. Sometime this week. What do you say?" he felt as if he said the last few words too quickly… but he didn't have the courage to repeat any of it now. He silently prayed that she missed everything he said.
"You are asking me out on a date?"
"Aaah… yes… date… March, April, May…. Thirty days in some, thirty one days in most… or is it the other way around. Wednesday is my favorite day… I don't really know why…"
"I… I would love to." She blushed lightly and Doctor Tofu almost didn't hear the sweet words from her mouth.
"You would? You really would!?" it took all of his discipline not to jump and scream like a madman right then and there. "Uh…. Great! That's simply great."
Kasumi nodded and smiled her usual smile.
"I… I'll walk you home!" Doctor Tofu declared as he walked awkwardly in front of her, as if his knees suddenly froze and refused to bend.
"Thank you," she giggled a little, almost inaudibly in her own demure manner that it was almost not heard in the quiet night.
Yet he heard it as he stood, behind a lamppost. He heard their faint footsteps leaving the park and it was only then that he went under the soft light. "Way to go Doctor Tofu," he whispered to himself. His training had gone well and he had faced his fear.
If only he could do the same.
He took the long way back to the Nekohanten, not really sure why. He was usually very eager to be with his love, yet now that he saw her once more, he suddenly felt… torn?
Maybe life with Kasumi made him weak. It made him feel how peace felt like, how kindness felt like. He felt how he thought love felt like. Yet he knew that wasn't the case. Love was devotion. Love was strength. Love was pain. Love was beyond what was sweet. Love was to suffer… love was to die.
Were his outlooks on love truly this grim? Since when had he thought this morbidly? Love was the ultimate comfort. Love can possibly tell you of your place – that even amidst the chaos, you'd still find footing; you won't be completely lost.
Yet his love for Shampoo was not enough to let him find his own way now. Maybe… maybe it was his fault for getting swayed, for getting distracted, for believing.
Gathering up his resolve, he picked up his pace and knocked at her door.
It took her a while to reply. In fact, he even thought of leaving. Yet before he could turn away, she suddenly peeked out, and spoke, "What you want stupid duck boy."
"You know what I want, Shampoo," he said seriously, without even looking at her.
She noted his form, his aura in general. She didn't know why, but since she came home from the training… since she saw him again after several weeks… Mousse seemed to be more of a contradiction. There was something in him… a crack… a possible cause of ruin or … a major breakthrough?
"I tired. I win anyway. Why you try? You hurt, you pain. No reward," she sighed as she leaned her head on the door. "Is still want? Yes or no?"
"What makes you think…" He looked at her almost angrily, until his features softened once more. "I want you, as my bride. I love you Shampoo. Nothing has changed."
"I change. I stronger." She told him haughtily, almost eliciting a challenge.
"A week from now… maybe we could measure this strength of yours," Shampoo noticed that his seriousness was different from before, "I challenge you for your hand. A week from now."
"Hmph," she muttered turning away from him, "Another battle, what difference. I no care. I treat it as practice. You dummy, before I fight pervert girl."
"This time I will win, and ultimately prove my love for you."
She sighed, annoyed, as she finally closed the door. She barely even heard Mousse saying that he loved her, with a tone of seriousness… finality.
Yet more than ever, she knew it was not what it had seemed.
And frankly, that night, Mousse started to doubt himself as well.
Author's Notes:
OMG. Yes, I know, latest update EVER. I have to admit, I was really really stuck in this chapter…. And I have been quite distracted by this other fic I've been working on (shameless plug…). But nevertheless, I hope you guys like it, and I hope that those who had been following the fic aren't lost or unsatisfied or have given up on this.
But hey, this is the longest chapter!
Thank you thank you 100X to all those who reviewed and those who have read this. If not for you guys, I would have placed this fic on the dead fics folder…but no. Hahaha. Yes, I'm slow, but rest assured I WILL FINISH THIS. Promise!! So there. Till next time guys!! It will be happier (I hope…)