Chapter 14 - Wending Friendship
A/N: Sorry for the gap in the update! At least the chapter is of decent length. :) Also, if you're enjoying this story, you might want to check out my new one with these two "Betrothed." It's a canon-divergent AU in which they're promised to each other since their youth. Emilia will not end up becoming a Warden, but that doesn't mean her life is easy, either! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks for reading along!
As the four Grey Wardens traveled to the Wending Woods, Oghren rode up front with Emilia, which left Anders in back with Nathaniel. The mage kept giving the rogue sideways glances as if debating on striking up a conversation. Exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before, Nathaniel was pleased that Anders had opted to stay quiet thus far - silent with the exception of his current obsession with eating apples. The mage had been taking a bite every few moments, spaced out just so that when Nathaniel thought the obnoxious crisp sounds were finally over, they struck again. In the silence that followed Anders' most recent bite, fatigue finally caught up with Nathaniel so much that he unintentionally let out a yawn.
"Long night?" Anders pried, jumping at the opportunity to open a discussion.
"Something like that." Nathaniel replied, grumpy and short, his tone clearly indicating that he did not wish to elaborate.
Anders took another bite of his apple. "I've been unusually hungry lately. And not just for food," the mage winked.
Nathaniel ignored Anders' comment. As disinterested as the rogue was in talking about anything right now, that particular line of conversation with this particular person was one he absolutely did not want to partake in; Nathaniel had no desire to hear of Anders' sexual escapes today.
Much to the Howe's dismay, Anders spoke up again. "You know, you weren't the only one to sneak out last night." He crunched again, speaking with apple still in his mouth. "I noticed your bunk was empty when I came down from mine."
Nathaniel glared, displeased with Anders' general lack of manners. "So what?"
"So, you did the right thing." Anders proclaimed as if Nathaniel knew exactly what he was talking about. The mage continued to eat his apple, purposely not elaborating on his statement.
The lack of clarity, insinuations, and desire for Anders' to stop chewing left Nathaniel rather irritated. Knowing he was taking the bait, the Howe voiced his inquiry. "And just how do you know what I was up to last night?"
Crunch, crunch, crunch was all Nathaniel got in response initially. He scoffed and shook his head, giving up on getting any answer from the mage. He's pissing me off on purpose, Nathaniel reflected. To get me to to talk.
"Because I followed you," Anders finally voiced, throwing the core of the apple aside.
The circumstances of Nathaniel's departure from Emilia's quarters the night before clicked into place. The cracked door. Anders being there would certainly explain why it had been opened again, but the rogue couldn't believe that the mage was sneaky enough to get by him. Pride laced Nathaniel's reaction. "No way, I would have noticed." He called Anders' bluff, ignoring evidence to the contrary.
The blonde mage chuckled boastfully. "I snuck out of The Circle a dozen times. I'm pretty sneaky for a mage."
"Hrmph." Nathaniel couldn't admit that Anders, loud and silly Anders had managed to follow him last night.
"It's good you told her, you know," Anders continued, the sincerity in his voice bringing Nathaniel back from his contemplation. Nathaniel raised his brow, and so Anders' elaborated. "About Bann Esmerelle."
Nathaniel snorted a short laugh, incredulous. "Let me guess, you were the one to tell her before I got the chance to?"
"Bingo."
"Bullshit."
"Believe me or not, I don't care." Anders' left things off, silence indicating annoyance with his new friend's lack of belief in his abilities.
The four continued to ride in silence for awhile, still in the same formation as before. Anders' had thankfully run out of apples, giving Nathaniel a much needed break from the incessant chewing. The things Anders said continued to bother Nathaniel, to the point where he decided to ask Anders more. But Nathaniel had to wait for an opportunity - he didn't want to bring up the sensitive topic while Emilia and Oghren were quiet. As soon as they resumed their conversation, Nathaniel made his move.
"Just why exactly were you eavesdropping on us? It was a private conversation," the rogue interrogated the mage.
Anders chortled. "Do you really have to ask? Knowing what I knew? I had to make sure she was safe," he asserted.
Does no one trust me? Nathaniel immediately felt defensive. "Oh really? You? Just who is she to you?"
"Um, my friend?" Anders answered without hesitation in the form of a rhetorical question. "And you know, considering how she's treated you, you ought to say the same."
"It's complicated," Nathaniel retorted.
"Only because you make it," Anders stung back.
Oghren looked back at the pair suspiciously. Their voices had evidently raised, meaning Oghren and Emilia had likely heard at least part of their conversation. The pair let out a synchronous sigh, which was followed by yet another a long silence between the two men. The other two Wardens were still talking about something which seemed to be rather personal to Oghren, leaving Nathaniel and Anders with no way out from each other.
This time it was Anders' turn to yawn and Nathaniel's to pounce.
"So you were up late to keep tabs on me, then?" Nathaniel scathed, his eyes narrowed.
"Actually, no," Anders smiled, diffusing Nathaniel's hostility. "Following you was more of a coincidental whim; I had other reasons for leaving last night." He chuckled. "An appetite that absolutely had to be sated," the mage offered freely.
Nathaniel did the math quickly. "With Emilia?" He exclaimed under his breath, thinking aloud, immediately wishing he could take it back. I really shouldn't care who she sleeps with.
"Maker, no!" Anders cackled.
Nathaniel sighed, relieved, though he wasn't sure why. He chose not to pry any further; he really didn't need to know.
But the mage continued, yet again telling the rogue more than he needed to know. "Garevel," Anders muttered lustfully, a smirk drawn from ear to ear.
Nathaniel groaned, frustrated. "And just why are you telling me this?"
"You keep this secret of mine, and I'll keep one of yours later," the mage winked. "That's what friends do, right? I'm pretty terrible at this friends thing, I know."
Nathaniel smirked back at Anders. "Fair enough, and same here." The two exchanged a laugh. The friendship they were developing was odd to be sure, but Nathaniel appreciated it anyways. Though, sometimes he did wish Anders would just shut up. At least we cleared the air about last night.
A little while after the conversation came to a close, the group finally reached the woods.
The Wardens' adventure in the Wending Wood had certainly been nothing like they expected. They predicted that darkspawn, or perhaps even bandits, were the cause of the ambushes on the caravans - but it turned out to be one furious Dalish elf. Velanna had every reason to be upset due to the destruction of her clan, and it took some impressive coercing on Emilia's part to get her to back down. Eventually, the elf joined the four Wardens as they headed into the nearby mine to deal with the culprit of the murder of the elves - darkspawn.
Once inside the mine, the group had yet another surprise. They met The Architect, a rather intelligent darkspawn leader who spoke to them. On top of that shock, the darkspawn leader then managed to knock out and capture the group, and stripped them of all their gear. Under Emilia's effective, calm, and stealthy guidance, the Wardens and the elf managed to recover their things and fight their way out.
Nightfall was upon them as they made their escape from the mine, and therefore the group traveled only a short distance to the outskirts of the woods. Their horses were thankfully still waiting for them, and so the Wardens set up camp for the night.
They sat around the camp fire with their new companion Velanna, nearing the end of their simple meal of rations. The elf thanked the group, and went on to admit how impressed she was with how the situation was handled. "When we woke up in those dungeons, I was sure we were done for," Velanna concluded.
Emilia sharpened her smallest dagger as she replied. "It's not the first time I've escaped captivity," she noted with the slightest air of pride.
"Ha!" Oghren guffawed. "That's right! You weaseled your way out of Fort Drakon just after -" a side punch from Emilia stopped his line of speech. "Erm, I mean just before the Landsmeet," Oghren grumbled.
Nathaniel's shoulders and neck tensed slightly as Oghren neared his point, but relaxed when Emilia encouraged the dwarf not to mention Rendon's death.
"Fort Drakon? As in the one in Denerim? Isn't it huge?" Anders asked.
Emilia nodded. "That's the one. The largest in Ferelden." She went on to tell the story of how her and Alistair poised as guards to escape. Oghren laughed and noted that he and Wynne had barely made it to the fort's gate when the pair emerged, decked out from head to toe in armor.
"I only knew it was them because Emilia winked at me," the dwarf chuckled. "What guard winks at a dwarf?"
Emilia laughed and pointed at Oghren. "Wynne's the one who figured it out! You said those exact words to her and continued towards the gates! I'm not sure what would have happened if she hadn't grabbed you by the arm and turned you two around!"
Oghren laughed at himself with the group, but swore that he would have figured it out on his own if he had only been given even a moment to process it.
Velanna, incredulous, voiced an inquiry to Oghren. "Wait - you were willing to attempt to infiltrate the largest stronghold in Ferelden to attempt to rescue her?" The elf gestured to Emilia, astounded by his loyalty.
Anders interjected. "Funny thing about Emilia - she has a knack of winning people over."
"Plus, she actually listens, and she'll never betray your trust," Oghren elaborated.
"I'm right here, you know," Emilia added. She put her weapon away and spoke up again. "I'm flattered, really, but I'm just trying to keep more people from suffering." It didn't need to be said that she had suffered enough herself.
Wanting to lighten the mood, Oghren poked fun at Anders over his cat whispering abilities. There had been one in the mine's dungeons that insisted on following him around as they struggled to escape. The cat wouldn't be left alone, and oddly followed Anders nearly exactly - sneaking when he snuck, staying still when he froze, and the cat even hissed when Anders entered combat. The very same little guy now sat in Anders lap, meowing as the group laughed and reflected lightly on the situation earlier that day.
Seeing opportunity to tease Anders for once instead of the other way around, Nathaniel finally spoke up, sarcasm thick in his voice. "Are you sure you aren't part cat, mage?"
Anders chuckled. "I'm certainly not as sneaky as you, 'Lia, or my new little friend here, but I'll gladly take the compliment!" He scratched the happy cat on his head with affection.
Nathaniel became silent again as the group moved on to the next humorous topic of the evening. He found it odd that they could speak so lightly of everything that just happened, and so soon afterwards.
This time, Anders poked fun of Oghren for his pink smallclothes, which had been revealed to the group while they were in the dungeons. Oghren insisted they used to be white, and turned pink due to a magical laundry mishap. Velanna cackled at this and asserted that there's nothing magic about laundry. Emilia explained that Ogrhen's smalls had been washed with Wynne's red robes once.
"Hence the magical mishap," she giggled.
Tired of being the end of the jokes for the night, Oghren steered the conversation towards Emilia. "Did anyone else notice how much was more pissed she was about Nathaniel's bow being stolen than her own gear?" The dwarf laughed, not paying attention to his comrade's reaction. "I mean, did you see her? GIVE THAT BOW BACK!" He cracked up, stopping only when Anders elbowed him.
Everyone, save the dwarf, saw it - the look on Emilia's face as Oghren called her out. Her emerald eyes fixed on Nathaniel. Her hands fidgeted nervously with each other - a very uncharacteristic gesture for the self-assured commander. Her brow and lips flattened into an obviously forced neutral expression. She may have been successful in hiding emotion those facial features - but not by her eyes. They were filled with longing, loving or something in between.
Anders cleared his throat, breaking the silent tension, and announced he was retiring for the evening. He offered his tent to Velanna, who refused to take it all to herself, stating that it was plenty large enough for them to share it. As she turned to enter the tent, Nathaniel mouthed "behave" to Anders, who rolled his eyes and mouthed "not touching crazy" back. Anders then shot Oghren a dirty look and jerked his head towards the dwarf's tent, who then also announced he was going to hit the sack. This left just Emilia and Nathaniel sitting on opposite sides of the fire.
The Cousland stood. "You take first watch, I'll go fetch a bit more firewood." She didn't wait for any confirmation from Nathaniel. Knowing the order would be followed, Emilia turned on her heel and vanished into the night.
The Howe rogue struggled to maintain focus during his watch. Emilia had been gone for quite some time, but he hadn't heard anything to cause concern. It was rather dark, and finding more firewood was probably just taking awhile. Nathaniel stared at the fire, failing in his attempt to erase the image of Emilia's visage from when Oghren had teased her about her concern for his bow.
What was that look, anyways? Care? Concern? Embarrassment? She was trying to hide something. Everyone saw that. It had to be why they all left.
There was a slight shift in the brush. Nathaniel grabbed his bow, aimed and readied it to fire.
Emilia emerged from the wilderness, her arms encumbered by firewood. Wind tore at the flames, blowing them toward Emilia, illuminating her further. Her chocolate braid flowed in the breeze, her emerald eyes reflected the citrine light, and a smirk graced her face. For the first time, Nathaniel noticed how pretty she was. He immediately discounted the thought.
The gorgeous rogue stopped and cocked her head, twisting her brow in mock confusion. Nathaniel realized he still had his bow aimed at her, and let out a soft, nervous chuckle as he lowered it. Emilia grinned as she set down the firewood and tended to the flames. She then sat directly next to Nathaniel. He wasn't sure why she was still there. This is awkward. Should I say something to her? What is there even to say? Why is she staying up with me?
After a few more moments of uncomfortable silence, Nathaniel went with his last thought. "You can get some rest if you want, you know. I can handle first watch on my own."
Emilia poked at the fire. "Oh, I know," she grinned.
"Then why are you still up?" Nathaniel interrogated, sounding harsher than intended. Why did you ask? He mentally chided himself for being nosy.
"I thought we could talk," she glowed, her tone uncharacteristically soft and sweet.
Nathaniel swallowed hard. He couldn't block out the recognition of how beautiful she looked, which made him strangely uncomfortable. I'm never like this around women. So what if she's pretty? She's the Warden Commander. Perhaps her rank is what's making me struggle with dealing with the fact that I find her attractive. Or the fact that she's a Cousland. Or both. Get over it, Nathaniel.
Despite the million thoughts running through his mind, her warm smile encouraged him to reply. "About?" His leathery voice plainly asked.
"I…" She sighed heavily, but managed to keep her speech pleasant and light. "I wanted to apologize for the other night."
Nathaniel was astounded. "You? Apologize to me? For the night when I snuck into your room?"
Emilia nodded. "I wasn't in my right mind. I shouldn't have questioned your loyalty."
Her eyes met him, sincere and searching his for a reaction.
"You had every right to question it," Nathaniel argued. He blinked uncomfortably and looked away. She really is beautiful. No, confounding. She's confounding.
"Perhaps," Emilia kept her gaze on him. "But I also have very good instincts. I'm very good at reading people. At knowing who I can and can't trust."
"You don't need to apologize," Nathaniel insisted, daring to look her in the eye.
Emilia smiled. "Fine then." She paused, and the grin fell from her face. "Let me tell you a story instead."
Nathaniel studied her face, puzzled by the sudden change. He noticed how pleasantly full and sweetly shaped her lips were - and tore his eyes away from them just as quickly as those thoughts had come.
"It will...shed some light on why I acted as I did the other night," Emilia continued. "It won't be easy for you to hear, and I understand if you don't want to."
He crossed his brow. Something that would be difficult for him to hear would be even harder for her to say. But here she was, in all her emotional fortitude, ready to unleash her demons in front of him. He nodded - if she could brave to breach this subject, then so could he.
"My last night at Highever. Well, the last night it felt like home. I think you know which night I'm talking about."
"The night my father betrayed your family," Nathaniel clarified in hushed tones.
"Yes," Emilia affirmed. She went on to explain how she became aware of what was happening. How it was the middle of the night. How she had been awaken by her mabari's bark. How dark the room had been.
"That's why you were so on edge when I came by the other night," Nathaniel empathetically interjected, remembering how her mabari had been acting.
She nodded, confirming his assessment. "But that's enough for one night. Perhaps someday I'll tell you the rest. When we're both ready." She forced a slight smile.
Nathaniel shifted his head from side to side, closed his eyes and lowered his brow. "There's something I don't understand," he breathed.
Emilia looked at him, concerned. "What is it?"
"You." Nathaniel hesitated. "You speak to me as if we're friends. You're honest, kind. You do me favors. You trust me. Confide in me. I just don't see how I've earned any of that."
She shook her head. "Who says you had to earn it? We were friends once. You swore to me you had nothing to do with what your father did, and I believe you. I don't see how you've betrayed my trust."
"I admitted that I thought about trying to kill you," he noted.
"But you didn't." Emilia stressed. She sighed a chuckle. "Nathaniel, I've thought about killing a lot of people. But thinking about it and trying to do it are two completely different things. Not to mention that you confessed that to me unprovoked, while you were completely at my mercy. If nothing else, that showed me how honest you are."
"I..." Nathaniel hadn't thought of it that way, but she was right. "Thank you."
The Cousland stood and brushed herself off. Nathaniel followed suit and spoke up before she turned to leave. "Emilia."
"Yes?" She faced him again, her green eyes twinkling in the twilight.
"When I returned from the Free Marches, I was certain that my family was destroyed for being on the wrong side of the war. But my father did it to himself. No conspiracies, just one stupid, selfish man. I should have known better. I was an idiot, and like a child I blamed you and the Wardens."
Emilia stared at him, simply listening as he spoke from his heart.
"You said that we were once friends, and you still treat me as such. Is...is that what you want? For us to be friends again?" He added a final thought, a sort of caveat to leave her a way out in the event he was incorrect in this assessment. "Or am I reading that wrong, too?"
The slowing growing gorgeous upturn of her lips answered his question before her voice gave it life. "Friends, yes," she simply breathed.
"Good," he exhaled, relieved. "I'm glad that's settled."
Nathaniel was certain he caught a glimpse of a blush before she nodded and turned away. It was probably just the fire. He had something else he wanted to say, and thus interrupted her retreat with his leathery voice. "You know, when you conscripted me, I would not have thought I'd end up liking it." He smiled. Nathaniel hoped she would turn around again; he wanted to know if she really had blushed or not.
Looking back just over her shoulder, Emilia gave him another nod before turning away yet again. She hadn't shown enough of her face to confirm his suspicion, and her lack of doing so only fueled it more.
He stifled the urge the snicker at the parallels between tonight at the night they were in the city. He used his husky vocals to stop her in her tracks one last time.
"Good night, Em."
Unlike Nathaniel's cold treatment to her back in Amaranthine, Emilia turned towards him. She had managed to erase the blush that he suspected had been there before, replacing it with a grin.
"Good night, Nate." She winked at him and was off to her tent.
Nathaniel groaned as he sat back down by the fire.
"You're my new favorite Howe." Nathaniel recalled Emilia's proclamation from all those years ago.
I wonder if that's still true...my new favorite Cousland.
A/N: Sorry if this chapter was a bit dialogue heavy! Please let me know what you think! :)