The Simpson's: In Space: Season 2

by Darth Sith'ari

SEX! Now that I have your attention: The Simpsons adventures in the 51st century continue! What evils will they face and bring to its knees? P.S. There may be some sex but not a whole lot. COMPLETE.

14. Desert Ghosts: Part 2

The Simpson's: In Space: Season 2: Episode 4: Desert Ghosts: Part 2

(Koprulu: Koprulu's Landing: Hall of the Old Families)

In these ancient halls, did the elders of Koprulu make the laws of their new-found homeland, including the laws that bar the Turok's. The native inhabitants to the desert world, from rising above petty servants or mercenaries on distant worlds, far from home. But this has absolutely nothing to do with those greedy blag'fadars. This is about the men who will go to great lengths to undo these tyrants.

Homer Simpson, dimwitted captain of the Federation of Man Navy Frigate, Sinbad. Commander Tyler-700, Spartan super-soldier of the Federation of Man. Grunchy McGrunch-Grunch the 1138th of the McGrunch-Grunch's of planet Artana III, once a vice-duke of the illustrious Dadaban colony, now a mercenary in the employ of the Federation of Man. And R'ash Miaq, a Turok Freelancer in service to the Springfield Police Department… until Ned Flanders kidnapped him and dragged him into a weird conspiracy involving the Somites until Seraph Ashla beat him senselessly, now he works with Homer and his crew.

Anyway, the four of them stood before the massive doors of the Hall of the Old Families, disguised as… giant fish. "What the? Who are you? And why are you dressed like fish?" Asked the droid that answered the door. Homer then began babbling incoherently that, to the droid sounded like broken Ma'pharian. "Oh… oh I'm sorry, you and your comrades can go in." Said the droid sympathetically, allowing Homer's team to enter. "Good luck trying to convince them to help your cause, but good luck anyway!"

"Homer, do you even know what you told that guy?" Asked Tyler, not sure what Homer was saying. "No idea, what do you think I told him?" Said Homer. "If I had to guess from that droids reaction, some sort of charity, and when did you learn Ma'pharian anyway? For that matter why are we dressed as fish?" Asked Tyler, confused at the weird disguises. "I picked up some of it from Ma'pharian's at Ur-uruk's bar; Lisa kept saying I needed to learn a new language. As for the costumes, I was going to try to talk you guys into dressing up as fish with me and-"

"Never mind, I don't want to know about the costumes!" Said Tyler, not wanting to know anything further, he wasn't even going to ask what Homer's plan was. They entered a massive hall, in it the various heads of the Old Families. Including Antietam Aquila, his appearance made obvious by his cybernetic legs, much like the ones used by Sirnef Dayle as of now, who was also responsible for hacking Antietam to pieces in the first place. "Now, wait for my signal, and then we capture them all in one fell swoop! There, two, one!"

"ATTENTION ALL SHIZNO'S! OLY OLY OXEN FREE!" Shouted a voice over their squad's com channel, then without warning, a bird like ship crashed through a wall, destroy several million dollars' worth of decoration, and to a lesser extent, killing several other Old Family heads and making a giant hole in the wall. "Was that the signal?" Said Grunchy sarcastically. "No! My signal was DOG PILE! Not some weird ship bursting through the wall!" Said Homer, not noticing that the ship was destroying the hall.

"Homer! GET DOWN!" Said Tyler, him decking Homer behind a turned over table. "The Fellowship! We have to tell Admiral Tanto that they are here!"

"Well why would she want to know? Isn't it a bad thing that they are here?" Asked Homer, not really paying attention to the situation at hand. "Yes, but if she and her squad are done handling the Templar's, then that means-" He was cut off by that sound of radio static. "Commander Tyler-700 come in, we are on our way to the Hall of the Old Families, is everything alright?" Said Bethany over the com channel. "No! Everything is not alright! I repeat! Everything has gone SNAFU over here!"

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth Commander?" Said Homer, somehow knowing what SNAFU meant. "What? What has happened? Were you detected by guards or-"

"No, a Fellowship drop ship has just crashed into here! We have to fall back, and regroup at the Capital Building." Explained Tyler. "Well, then get over here. We already got the Templar's off world, and Knox is interrogating Stalingrad as we speak. Admiral Tanto out." Said Bethany, turning off her com channel. "So… what should we do now?" Asked Homer. "We fall back to the capital building, and reassess the situation." Advised Tyler, as he said this, a stray plasma blast injured both R'ash and Grunchy. "Oh no, cover me while I get them out of here!"

XXXXX

(Outskirts of Koprulu's Landing)

"Is everyone accounted for?" Asked a hologram of Fleet Mistress Rhana Dhandra to Field Master St'rn L-orn. "Not quite, one shuttle flew off course into the city, but from what I can tell from there reports, they crashed into the Hall of the Old Families after it was damaged in flight by a Tassadorian shuttle." He explained. "But aside from all of that our plan is underway?" Asked Dhandra. "Aye, the transporter module is being deployed into Koprulu's Landing undercity." He said, several Tserranian Telkines were carrying giant pieces of a larger device.

"Good, do you have anything else to report?" Said the Agwar Fleet Mistress. "Yes, we found the shuttle. The Tassadorian Warband had three Lukus Templar's onboard. One of my Lieutenants is interrogating the Templar's as we speak." Explained St'rn. "Aye, tell Ny'dar to go gentle on them-"

"Actually, Sirnef volunteered to interrogate them. He said that he could have gotten better results than Ny'dar and… look the Emperor made a new directive dictating that Templar's were to be interrogated-"

"I know Field Master," she interrupted, "but why did you listen to a Steel Child? You know they have no right to ask of a Field Master, ANYTHING! Besides, didn't it occur to you that he might kill one of the Templar's just for the sake of killing them?" Before St'rn could say anything more, a loud shriek echoed across the entire area. "I get your point," said St'rn, several minutes later after the shrieking stopped, "I got to go before that screaming kills anyone." He said, he turned off the hologram and went up to the shuttle were the Templar's were being held. "Sirnef! What in the All-Father name are you doing in here?"

"The female just kept screaming every time I tried to ask them, and I only just now found something stronger than a Quietus sphere to keep her down." He said, referring to the damp rag around Banshee's mouth. "Aye, a good idea, but I am sorry to say that you are relieved from interrogation."

"Let me guess, the Fleet Mistress reminded you that Steel Children can't do more than fight?" Guessed Sirnef. "Yes actually, I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier. But I feel I must carry out the interrogations myself. You go and," Sirnef left the shuttle before St'rn could finish his sentence, "well anyway." He sat in front of the Templar's. "Now, I have some questions to ask of you." Said St'rn, taking a stool in front of the monk warriors.

"You will get nothing out of us!" Shouted Jurn Billy-Bob-Bill-Bill-Bobby-Bill, not really knowing what was going on. "Do not interrupt! I have not even asked you heretics anything." Said St'rn. "Now, why are you Templar's here?" "I could ask the same of you orc." Said Ibonek derisively, only to be punched in the face by the Lor-Loth. "I'm the one asking the questions maw less!" As he said this, one of the Tassadorian mercenaries entered the drop ship. "By the Nomad's, I had thought that all but the most grim of my emotions stripped from me, but there they are." He said, beginning to cry. "No, no not you, I was talking to the Templar!" Said St'rn explaining himself. "Oh… why am I even in here? Oh right, do you have any spare parts that my brothers and I can use to repair our craft?"

St'rn just grunted at the Tassadorian warriors. The warrior pulled out a dictionary for Lor-Loth grunts. "Why didn't we bring Stan's protocol droid?" Groaned Ibonek. "Okay, thanks." Said the Tassadorian. "Now then, how many Templar's are on world? Are there any Clone Marines in the Turok Reservation That may try to stop us?"

"Like I said, I'm not telling you Imperialistic Fellowship scum anything!" St'rn hit Ibonek in the face again. "And I was told you Templar's were tolerant, even to your 'human masters'." A look of shock spread across Ibonek's faces. "Yeah, you heard me; your order may be manned by a Telkine. But all that really proves is that even the greatest of the First Born can be seduced by the dark heresies of man. All you Templar's are glorified lapdogs to the Exiles; you claim to be guardians of peace and justice. But for all your turved promises, and claiming to have destroyed the Sons of Adas, you scum are barley any different than the vermin of this galaxy you claim to fight against." Said St'rn angrily, he then lifted Ibonek by the neck. "For instance your order could have eliminated the forced segregation of the Turok's on their own homeworld centuries ago. Instead, you wretch's pretty much serve the Old Families selfish ambition!"

"Field Master St'rn L-orn." Said Sirnef interrupting St'rns ranting. "Hold on heretics, Sirnef this had better be important." He said, throwing Ibonek into the back of the shuttle. "I was interrogating these heathens."

"I am sorry, but I have found a few Federation agent's on world." Said the Lor-Loth cyborg, pulling a hologram from the palm of his cybernetic hand. "I've been able to identify twelve agents. Admiral Bethany Tanto, who from what the Tassadorians explained hired them to keep the Templar's from interfering with their plans. She led a team that drew the heretic Templar's into a trap. Witch consisted of Daavas Majiac, Seraph Ashla, and a modified Amidalan Legionnaire droid designated EMIR-12."

"And thanks to a rogue shuttle crash we would have gotten them off world by now." Shouted one of the Tassadorian mercs at the other side of the camp. "Anyway, I made contact with the Drop ship Kv'nal-98, after it was done wreaking havoc in the Hall of the Old Families. It reported on the Federation forces there." He then pulled up another hologram.

"I'm sure I don't have to remind you of the Divine Slayer Homer Jay Simpson. He was injured by the shuttle's weapons but the fool still survived. His second-in-command, the Spartan Tyler-700, the ex-Vice Duke of Artana III Grunchy McGrunch-Grunch, and Commissar Ny'dar Maiq's own brother, R'ash." Explained Sirnef. "For some reason they were all wearing fish costumes… I have no idea why but that's what the shuttle's pilot told me." "I see," said St'rn wondering how anything Sirnef said made any sense. "Moreover, I think I have located where the third squad of Federation forces are located. They are down in the Turok Warren beneath Koprulu's Landing."

"Then we must hurry, these humans might be here to interfere with our plans." Said St'rn, concerned for the innocent Turok civilians in the ghetto like warrens that ran beneath Koprulu's Landing. "Okay, were going to have to pick up the pace." He then opened a com channel with his forces. "Attention all forces! The Federation has arrived on planet! Everyone! Get your Akanosh's into the Warrens as quickly as possible." Outside the makeshift camp was quickly buzzing with activity. "Deploy the transporter at the edge of the Warrens without delay! I want tanks down there before the day is out!"

"What? What are you madmen doing?!" Asked Ibonek, now panicked at what was going on. "Were going to sink Koprulu's Landing into the Turok Warrens." Said Sirnef bluntly. "NEVER!" Shouted Jurn, breaking free from his bindings, he ignited all four of his light blades and charged towards St'rn… only to be impaled be Sirnef's two-handed sword. "A pity, I fought off pirates from the Ma'phar homeworld fifty years ago." He said to the Ma'pharian Novus, as Sirnef gloated to the trout like alien Jurn's light blades fell out of his hands. "Hmm… never thought about having more weapons then my sword at hand." He said, looking at the weapons, his cybernetic arm divided into three arms, and picked up three of the light blades off the floor. "Still, I suppose I might as well start a hobby."

"WILL YOU HURRY UP!?" Shouted St'rn, annoyed at Sirnef's procrastinating. "We have to get the Turok non-combatants out of the Warrens so they will not be killed when the pillar falls!" He said. "What? You mean to save the Turok's?" Asked Ibonek in confusion. "From more than you could ever understand heretic. Now, let us be off, we have some monkeys to slaughter." Said Sirnef, putting the light blades unto his belt. He and St'rn left the shuttle to get onto a jeep like vehicle "It feels good to finally bring justice to this world." Said Sirnef proudly. "Yes, didn't you lead the original expedition to liberate Taal'yyn from human control?"

"No actually my Garud'ashan lead that, he has had a history with the Turok's since The War of Stagnation."

XXXXX

(3535: Age of Stagnation: Telchine orbit: Research Vessel 'Hidden Truth's'.)

"What is the status on the prisoners?" Thel Andúril asked Ormpha Tyrana and Ors-Els Dayle, referring to a DAKA platoon recently captured on Narsil. "They are still unconscious, save for the Turok's who are writhing and howling in there containment cells." Said Tyrana, they walked further down the hallway. There were surgery tables spread around, human carcasses were on spread around almost at random. Shiran Apothecaries were operating on the bodies to determine how they worked, and any weakness that could be exploited in battle.

The purpose behind all of this? So the Fellowship of Andu can win the War of Stagnation. Roughly one-hundred years ago, the Fellowship of Andu came into contact with a new galactic power. The Democratic Alliance of Koprulu and Amidala, within the span of eighty-six years the Fellowship of Andu had been reduced from the greatest Galactic Empire in history, to a handful of star systems behind the Eternal Wall. A cosmic phenomenon that makes traveling at faster than light speeds impossible, anyway, Andúril, Tyrana, and Ors-Els entered a cellblock; its cells were full of Turok's, shrieking wildly as though the Dark Lord Cocytus had vomited up the souls of the damned. Lor-Loth gaurds were poking electric prods into the cells.

"Which one of them is the leader?!" Asked Tyrana, barely audible over the bloodcurdling screaming. "It is difficult to say, but we suspect it's the one with the tattooed face." Said the Lor-Loth, trying to make herself heard over the Turok's. "Then sedate him, and bring him to interrogation." Said Andúril. "But twelve of my warriors have been injured just trying to keep the noise down!" Said the Lor-Loth captain.

"Then we will have to try something… unconventional." He said, unbuttoning his tunic. "COVER YOUR EYES! HIT THE DECK!" Shouted Tyrana, as both he and Ors-Els covered their eyes, and hit the floor. Even the Lor-Loth captain jumped down, knowing as well as Tyrana and Ors-Els about Andúril's infamous mortar wound that he earned during the Fall of Freya II. Every Turok cellblock fainted in shock at this horrible sight.

"Now, get the head Turok into an interrogation cell, quickly!" Said Andúril, re-buttoning his tunic. "Oh come on, the wound is closed now!" He said, noticing that Tyrana, Ors-Els and the Lor-Loth captain still had their eyes covered.

Anyway, about ten minutes later the Turok had awakened. "Wha… were am I? Where are my men?" Said the dinosaur like alien, without warning, Tyrana grabbed the alien's neck. "When is your next attack on Narsil? Why are you scum so Cocytus bent on destroying the Fellowship? How have you wretches managed to destroy so much with such primitive weapons?" Asked Tyrana angrily, tightening his grip around the Turok's neck.

"Tyrana no!" Said Ors-Els, trying to keep Tyrana from killing the Turok. "All right kovar'cha," said Tyrana lettering go of the Turok, "what do you propose?" Asked Tyrana, not certain what his old friend was suggesting. "I am going to try a mind-meld with him." Explained Ors-Els. "Is that wise? There is a good chance you could accidentally switch minds with him, remember the last time?" Asked Tyrana, referring to an incident the first time they had captured prisoners when the frontlines of Narsil. It involved a Tassadorian Prelate… both of them agreed to never bring the subject up again.

"I've been practicing since then." Said Ors-Els, putting his hands on the Turok's head. "Now then, his name is Kro'sis Maiq, son Volar-Iz Maiq, born twenty years ago, indoctrinated at-… wait, indoctrinated?" Said Ors-Els, shocked at this revelation. "Kovar'cha? Are you saying that this warrior has been… brainwashed?"

"Yes, but from what I can gleam… every one of his kind that take part in battle are indoctrinated!" Exclaimed Ors-Els. "Well… is there any way to undo this indoctrination?" Asked Tyrana, after Ors-Els had finished with the mind-meld. "There may be, get the Abel'ashan Minas on the horn. They may be the only ones who can undo this." Thirty-five minutes later, Minas Andu, the High King of the Fellowship of Andu. And Minas Ty'phon, the Pious Hierophant of the Revena-Uaalk'ashan. "We have come, now what is it that you wanted?" Asked Ty'phon. "Well, my Stu'ven's have found one of the Turok's indoctrinated, they think that you two might be able to find a way to undo it" Explained Andúril. "Hmm… would there be a way to undo, 'indoctrination across all DAKA forces?" Asked Andu in concern. "Possibly, but if we can't get anything we still have Projects Machina, Thrail, and Serp'feratu to fall back on."

"In any case, we must see what we can do." Andu and Ty'phon approached Kro'sis. "Valish-Nth'har Torq Va-la'A!" The said, when they said this, Kro'sis began shrieking before falling unconscious. "Well? Is he still alive?" Asked Andu, Kro'sis awoke, groggy, but still alive. "Th… thank you, for freeing me." Said Kro'sis in a tired voice.

Tyrana, Ors-Els, and Andúril entered the room. "Well, did it work?" Asked Ors-Els. "Your concern for the Annihilators is touching." Said Tyrana sarcastically. "Whatever you did to me, it worked… thank you." Said Kro'sis wearily. "Why were you indoctrinated?" Asked a curious Ors-Els. "Because humans cannot stand the idea of their slaves standing against them."

"What? What are these 'humans'?" Asked Tyrana in confusion. "They are… they are like you in appearance." He said, pointing at Ors-Els. "Except their ears are smaller, and they are usually bigger looking." He explained. "Yes, I know what humans are; they are the leaders of the Democratic Alliance of Koprulu and Amidala. But why indoctrinate there people?" Said Andu. "People… you say that as though our human Overlords consider us to be equals to them, believe me when I say that they do not."

"So… your people are slaves to the humans?" Asked Ors-Els. "Basically, yes we are slaves. Long ago, they arrived on our world, Taal'yyn, they promised us freedom from a subterranean existence. Hiding from the burning hate of Urn'vath and Yr-Ij, the twin suns of the homeworld. Who my ancestors worshiped as gods, but they only chained our minds to the will of distant masters." Said Kro'sis. "But my kind were not the only one's subjected to such tyranny, the Urdnots of Amidala, whom they call Tuc-Wrek, the Twi'grutan's of Shilroth, and the Tasadorians of Zeratuel… I do not know if they serve out of fear, or if they believe there masters causes. But I doubt that would change much in your eyes would it?"

"You are right, it does not." Said Andu. "But you did not burn our worlds, so," he said stretching out an open hand, "welcome to the Fellowship." Kro'sis, wisely choose to take Andu's hand. "This, I hope can bring the war at hand to a quicker end." Said Andu optimistically. "Maybe, but it won't restore what we lost over the course of this war." Countered Tyrana, he, Andúril, Ty'phon and Andu left the room, to undo any other indoctrinated DAKA troops.

"Kro'sis, when this war is over. No matter what, I will do my best to liberate the races that humanity has enslaved." Said Ors-Els sincerely. "Perhaps, but I kind of glossed over this. But the Turok homeworld is the capital of one of the human factions, specifically the Confederacy of Koprulu… which they named after the colony ship that brought them to Taal'yyn in the first place." Explained Kro'sis. "That may be, but that will not dissuade my cause. Even if it takes over a thousand to accomplish, I've already sworn an oath similar to my people when my homeworld fell… and to be honest making your people free seems more likely than restoring El'uvia anyway."

XXXXX

(Present day: Kopru-… I mean Taal'yyn: Koprulu's Landing: Capital Building) Stan Tartarus was beginning to wake up after being knocked unconscious by Admiral Tanto's squad. His vision was hazy as he tried to remember how he wound up there. "Your awake, good, that means we can finally talk." Said Knox Tartarus, his father. "Who are you? What do you want?" Asked Stan, confused at the situation. "You're here, because your order couldn't keep its nose out of this matter. A matter that would have been for the betterment of this planets native inhabitants." Knox said irately. "So? You're Knox?" Asked Stan.

"Yes… and your father!" Said Knox. "Really? Then why bring me here?" Asked Stan, downplaying his surprise at this revelation. "Why do you want to subvert the Alliance?"

"It is because they are just glorified puppets to a corrupt senate!" Said Seraph, entering the immediate room, she was wearing a new outfit that she had gotten shortly after the Skirmish of Gra'toa. It was a tank-top, jeans, leather buckled boots, a black trench-coat, and a pair of sun-glasses. "Seraph? I thought you were dead!" Said Stan in surprise, excited to see his old Novus . "Really? I didn't know that you cared." Seraph said sarcastically. "Especially since you got a new apprentice, and didn't even call, or write me about it!" She said, strangling Stan by the neck. "Seraph no!" Said Knox, restraining the Ex-Templar. "I need him alive! He's all I have left of Sintel."

"Well, you should have thought of that before you sold her into slavery!" Said Stan angrily, not really knowing what he was talking about. "What? All these years you thought I willing sold Sintel into slavery?" Said Knox. "Listen you fool, Sintel, and to a lesser extent a pair Loth-Lor agents from the Fellowship of Andu, showed me the horrible conditions that the Turok's live in. The Fellowship offered a way to undo their poverty; it would have meant the end of the Confederacy. But if it meant undoing the heart break I saw in the warrens, I could live with myself." He explained. "But when I asked the Templar's for assistance along with the Fellowship, did they help? No! They told the Old Families what we were doing, and thwarted any attempts at freeing the Turoks from their squalor."

"In the end, Antietam Aquila, the wretch that foiled us gave me a choice. I could either surrender Sintel to him for marriage, or she would be sold into slavery to the Jabbaban's… the choice was hers in the end, she choose slavery to frog men rather than marriage to that slime." Knox then began to cry at the memory of this, for his belief in humanity was shattered when he lost Sintel to his people's betrayal. "What? That can't be true. That's impossible!" Said Stan in disbelief, which Knox responded with a punch across Stan's face.

"Well believe or not you little punk, it is true." He said, grabbing Stan's face. "But why are you doing this? I've done nothing to you!" Said Stan, barly able to talk with his father's surprisingly strong grip. "No, no you haven't. But your order…" He said with deep venom in his voice. "The Lucus Order robed me of Sintel, and to the extent. You… the Templar's denied me everything, the fact that you're a Templar now only adds salt to the wound, and all because a conniving weasel wanted the power to control the fates of the Turok's. Now, I will stand with the Federation of Man, for they have no ties to Mimban IV, that and I taught a young Catherine Oranos the art of statecraft when she was younger." He explained. "In other words, I'm joining in an Alliance with the Federation of Man, and I will not be betrayed again!"

Stan did not know how to take this news… so let's ignore him for a while and get back to the relevant plot at hand shall we? Anyway, Seraph went back to the main hall where Bethany, EMIR-12, Daavas, and Homer were reviewing the mission at hand. "Now, the presence of the Fellowship, and R'ash and Grunchy's injuries in the Hall of the Old Families complicates the mission. We have to move quickly, there's no telling what they might be planning." Said Bethany, on the table were holograms of Bart and Lisa. "Were doing our best down here, but the Turok's just aren't interested in voting… though considering this place that actually makes sense" Explained Bart.

"Bart, if the Turok's can participate in their own self-government they can improve their standard of living. But why they don't want to vote for Tartarus I can't imagine." Said Lisa, not aware of the Fellowship's plot to sink Koprulu's Landing into the Turok Warrens. "Hmm… you know, I think those Fellowship guys promised the raptors down there freedom outright from any sort of human run government. Via destroying some sort of support structure, like a giant pillar or something, and in the process cause the entire city to fall. Causing a sort of domino effect which would render the Confederacy as an independent government null and void." Said Homer… somehow guessing the Fellowship's plot to A T. "Dad, that's ridicules." Said Lisa.

"Wait? What was that?" Said Knox, peeking his head out the door. "It's just some of my dad's random nonsense and-"

"No, no there is a pillar holding up the entire city between Koprulu's Landing and the Warrens. The ancient Turok's called it the K'ar-Zhap, or the Roof of Mercy. If the Fellowship is here to destroy the Confederacy, then the key to that is to destroy K'ar-Zhap… causing the sheer weight of the city to fall into the warrens and… well Captain Simpson somehow guessed the rest." Knox said. "What? That's insane!" Exclaimed Lisa. "Possibly, we can't take any chances. Admiral, I need you and your men down there and make sure that the Fellowship doesn't try anything."

"Understood Tartarus, Homer get your men together and get down to the warrens." She ordered, then Tyler, Grunchy and R'ash entered to room. Tyler was alright, but both Grunchy and R'ash were covered in bandages and casts. "We're on our way sir." Said Grunchy wearily, weakly saluting. "What? Grunchy you and R'ash are too injured to come with us." Said Bethany. "Duly noted Admiral, but there hasn't been an injury yet that has kept me out of action." He said, his right eye twitching unnervingly.

"As for me, this is my home; I grew up in the warrens beneath this city. I-"

"Yes, yes you said that you have family down there and you want to see them again. You already said that when we got down here, but… if you really want to come then you can come." Said Bethany, against her better judgment allowing the injured alien's to come on the mission. "Out of curiosity why didn't you at least stop them Tyler?" She said exhausted. "I tried! But they are persistent let me tell you, I tried restraining them to their beds, but they somehow switched themselves for decoys." Bethany had an annoyed look on her face as he said this. "I don't understand how that happened either."

XXXXX

(Meanwhile, down the Turok Warrens)

Bart and Lisa had received their orders, Admiral Bethany Tanto and their father Homer would come down to the Warrens in order to prevent any funny business from the Fellowship of Andu. "Bart, we've really got to stop coming on these missions with dad." Said Lisa, turning off her communicator. "Don't be ridicules Lis, this is so exciting! Facing down deranged alien warlords, living tooth and nail in fungi jungles, and coming home feeling so alive!" "Your insane Bart." Said Lisa dismissing her brother. "Well then I'm at least better off than Seth is." Said Bart, pointing to Seth who was lying on his back, wearing weird goggles and mumbling. "Ah Seth? What are you doing?" Asked Lisa in concern. "I am counting the molecules in the ceiling, and thank you for making me lose my concentration now I have to start all over."

Lisa couldn't help but grown at this revelation. "You win Bart, Seth is crazier then you are." She said. "Now what?"

"We wait for Homer and company, though I think we should have told them about the smell down here." Said Bart, point outside of a window. Outside were the Warrens, in ancient times this was once an underground city were the Turok's of yore hid from their planets blazing suns. Then when the human colony ship Koprulu arrived, and after a long and bloody war witch resulted in the enslavement of the Turok's. What was once the greatest of their empires, was reduced to slums. After nearly three-thousand years of abuse by their human masters, the dinosaur like aliens have bitter towards their human masters. Not helped in the least by the toxic sludge and raw sewage that seeps in from the cities above, these aliens no longer care for the accomplishments, they just want the humans off their world so they can at least live in some measure of peace.

"I still can't believe that these people have been living down here, and no one has even tried anything to help them." Said Lisa in disgust. Though this isn't all that surprising, as the Koprulucan Old Families held such disregard for the Turok's that they intentionally stonewalled any efforts to ease the Turok's plight… which ironically enough cost more to keep from happening then allowing some sort of humanitarian aid to happen in the first place. "I know, and that is mainly why the Turok's have been avoiding us. They think we'll be dragged back up to the surface by Koprulican Security Forces anyway." Said Knara entering the room.

"But we ain't leavin' here without a fight right?" Bart said to his girlfriend. "Aye Bart… though I doubt that the KSP will be the worst of our problems down here." She said in concern, for she could sense her old master Sirnef through the Essence. Either that or it was something bad that she ate the night before, either way she wasn't going to take any chances. "Anyway, we must be on our guard, the Fellowship may come down here at any moment." As she said this, an ungodly sound echoed throughout the cavern, it was the same sound that rang in Gra'toa during the skirmish that occurred when the Simpson's rescued Homer, Mona, Ned, and Edna from Telchine. "Oh no…" said Knara in dread. "That's a Blood Sire Horn," she said recognizing the horrible sound, "we have to prepare for the battle!" She said, she ran to another room, and the busy sounds of random metal clanking were emanating from there.

"Knara? Knara what are you doing in there?" Asked Lisa in concern. "We can't wait for the Admiral and company! We have to create a defensive perimeter before they get here!" She said entering the room again holding several rifles, rocket launchers, and at least one or two mortar launchers. "Ah… okay," Lisa said nervously, "how many of those do you think we'll need?" She asked. "Well I brought enough armaments for a small encampment so… about ten assault rifles, ten shot guns, four rocket launchers, four sniper rifles, four grenade launchers, three machine turrets, and about three motor launchers." "What? You didn't think that the Fellowship would bring tanks?" Said Seth, snapping out of his bizarre and sudden obsession with counting molecules. "You should have brought more anti-armor."

"But there are only four of us. How would all four of us manage that many weapons at once?"

"I think we should wield about two of each."

"But these weapons need two hands to wield properly; these aren't SMG's you twit!"

"Then you shouldn't have brought so much down here then."

"I didn't bring these down here! We're in a KSP armory, remember?"

"Ah… that explains why I didn't see any weapons on you on the way down… either that or you were hiding all of that equipment in your clev-" said Seth as Bart gave him an atomic wedgie before he could finish his statement. "Not another word you strange little man. Though in all honesty Knara… were those weapons from here or in Koprulu's Landing?" Asked Bart.

"Well… down here of course." She said nervously, Bart turned around to continue abusing Seth. Knara then pulled a pistol out of her cleavage. "We are sorry, but our servers will be down momentarily for regular maintenance, we apologize for the inconvenience." Said Seth as Bart was relentlessly kicking him in the butt. "What? Seth what are you talking about?" Asked Lisa in concern. Suddenly, both Knara and Seth sprouted wings from behind their backs, meaning that Feelia, Tevinatarus had taken command of their Vessels. "He was talking about us." Said Feelia in an annoyed tone. "Aye," said Tecinatarus rubbing the back of his head, "a side effect of that medication Seth has been taking. He has a sort of seventh sense, he knows what's going on… but and at the same time he has no idea what's going on, so he compensates for this by acting completely weird and saying utter nonsense that has absolutely nothing to do with any context at all… at face value anyway."

"Where did Seth get that stuff anyway?" Asked Lisa. "Would you believe that a three-thousand year vampire, in the middle of the night gave him that Malkav? Would you believe it?" Said Tevinatarus, answering Lisa's question truthfully. "You can't be serious." Said Lisa in disbelief. "You've got to be kid- I mean you- after all the things that you have seen, and done, and had happened to you!-"

"Feelia, I think I can explain our surprise at Lisa's skepticism better." Said Tevinatarus. "Look at me, now look at Feelia, now look back at me. We are Seraphim, of the Nine Exiles of Elysium, and… okay that's all I've got, continue Feelia." He said, botching his attempt at a parody of those weird 'Old Spice' commercials. "It's alright I got you point, but still, Vampires? On Earth? Classic Vampires?" Said Lisa.

"Uh… it's a really long story, we'll explain some other time." Said Feelia. "Yes, and why did you two take over Knara and Seth? It has to be more important than telling us about crazy pills." Said Bart.

"I know, anyway, you must know that the Fleet Mistress in charge of this mission can be an ally in the days to come." She explained. "Well that's nice to know, but what does that even mean?" Asked Bart. "Well you see, Sirnef isn't leading the main force down here, his sister Maharial is. No matter what protests you hear from Seth and Knara, but mostly from Knara, you have to surrender to Maharial and asked to be brought aboard the Fleet of the Waling Doom's flagship."

"Okay… but why?" Asked Lisa. "Dhandra is a nice kid, served on the Yh'an's Dream during the War of Stagnation… and saw the Fall of Freya II." Explained Tevinatarus.

"Aye, every day since then she's been asking why such a beautiful world was destroyed." Said Tevinatarus. "And… that answers nothing, why should we even talk to this person?"

"Well… just do as we say, ask her some questions about herself, she's been going through a lot of hardships lately. Aiur himself has been chewing her out of not obeying his orders to the letter in recent days, not overthrowing the Amidalan Republic, not successfully destroying the Somite remnants in the galactic core. That sort of thing." Said Feelia. "Oh… well that's something, I mean if this Dhandra has suffered any sort of abuse from the Twilight Emperor… well she has sympathy from me." Said Lisa sympathetically.

"Yes, now if you'll excuse us Maharial is coming." Said Feelia as both of the Seraphim's wings disappeared. "Hello and we are back in business, we apologize for the inconvenience." Said Seth nonchalantly. "What are you talking about?" Said Knara, slapping Seth across the face. All of a sudden, a loud whooshing sound was echoing through the cave. "The Fellowship is coming, prepare for batt!-" "Say goodnight Knara." Said Seth, giving Knara a nerve pinch. "No if you'll excuse me, I think I shall take a nap." He said, giving himself a nerve pinch. "Do you think he knows?" Asked Bart in concern. "I think that he think that he thinks he knows… and even then I don't know what I just said." Said Lisa.

Before long, Bart and Lisa dragged Knara and Seth to the outskirts of the Warrens; there they saw some Fellowship speeders parked on a cliff face. Maharial was sitting on one of the speeders. "What the? What are you doing here?" She asked, surprised to see the Simpson children on Taal'yyn. "Ah… we surrender!" Said Bart with a vaguely French accent, and throwing up his hands.

"Uh… yes, you see we uh… want to talk with your Fleet Mistress." Said Lisa nervously. "Why? And why are your… companions asleep?" Asked Maharial suspiciously, Bart and Lisa just shrugged. "Can we just go up to your ship?" Asked Bart. "Fine then, men take these humans through the teleport module, and do not allow my brother to see them at any cost." She ordered, then eight Lor-Loth troops took them to the teleport module. As the vanished into the teleport module, a large scorpion like beast approached Maharial it clicked its mandibles together as if to communicate. "If I wanted your opinion E-va'Ha on my decisions then I would ask you first wouldn't I?" She said to the Sk'orpío-s warrior, he clicked his mandibles again to communicate. "Enough! I made my decision, now… get the bombs into place. And I want no butt's out of you, or any other of you half-wits!" She said angrily, which for her was out of character, of which was a side-effect of her taking in Lisa Simpson's Serp'feratu taint.

"I need a vacation." She said, as her eyes began glowing gold.