Without Chapter 15

Disclaimer: No.

A/N: You're right. All of you; and I'm sorry for being so weak. I hope you enjoy.

This is my baby Without and I want to tell a story. Thanks.

When Lisbon came to work this morning, she saw a little yellow note lying on her desk.

"Morning Teresa," Kim shouted. "I bought you a cup of decaffeinated coffee; it's next to the note."

Lisbon went closer to her place and took a sip of the still hot liquid drink and thanked Kim while she read the short note.

1 pm. Lunch in the little restaurant next to your favorite coffee-to-go-shop.

I'll be there. Can't wait.

See you. –P

Immediately she smiled. They were going back to their normal banter at work and she enjoyed it. Nevertheless she knew that they were pretending that everything was okay, but sometimes, inside she felt the need to cry at him. He had come back very suddenly and now he was everywhere. There were so many unsaid words. About the future.

What did he want from her?

She wasn't so sure sometimes. She couldn't live like that when their child would be born and they both knew that.

"This is so unhealthy Jane!" She smiled shyly at him.

"But it's yummy… you know, I didn't tell that it's a Hot-dog-shop because-…"

"…-I wouldn't have come. You're right.

They both sunk in a convenient silence afterwards. Lisbon ordered a second one and Jane just raised his eyebrows.

"I miss going out on field sometimes," Lisbon told him when she was about to finish her food.

"I guessed that. It's the adrenalin kick right?"

"Yeah… and I absolutely miss my gun," she sighed.

"To shoot me?"

"Meh, not really, Agent Robbins is the poor one now. He can do that."

The way she said it Jane realized that she actually missed him… a little. Lisbon's hair was in a loose bun and she had taken off her jacket and he was fascinated by her beauty.

"I'll call that our second date."

"It's just lunch."

He looked intensively into her green eyes. "It's never just lunch with you Teresa."

"Hush."

On the way back to the FBI office Jane asked if Fischer and her wanted to pain the nursery today.

"Yeah, it's today."

They walked next to each other but Lisbon watched out to not touch him.

"May I come?"

Lisbon thought about that for a while.

"I could help and I want to."

"Fine. Just come by at around 6 pm. Kim as to work late, so she'll join us a little later."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to. It'll be hard work."

Teresa had decided to paint her old study in green and white. It was not that girly but she didn't care. A fresh look would be good too.

Jane had lifted the paint buckets from her car to her apartment and now they were standing there. In a completely empty room.

On the buckets lay a few paint brushes and pain rollers.

Jane grabbed two brushes and then they started to paint. They had no real structure, Teresa had decided that one wall should be at least light green and the rest, well they'd become creative.

"I think I should move in." Jane didn't stop painting and that's why he didn't saw her face expression change. "Now. Or soon, because when Kat's there we won't have that much time." He turned to face her. "What do you think?"

She just shook her head and tried to calm herself down. There was no way, she wouldn't say yes. She wasn't even sure if he wanted a relationship, more than a platonic one even if he'd said he wanted her. He could've also meant he wanted her as a plant in his flat. Or if she wanted a romantic relationship. It was too early.

"No?"

This simple question made her freak out.

„You ran away three times! Three times! And now you're asking me if you can move in? No, Jane. No. I'm not ready. Maybe we shouldn't try, maybe the fact that you ran away three times says everything!"

This was too much at once, they'd been on two dates and she still hadn't forgiven him for running away.

"Teresa, you know that this is not true! You don't want that!" He looked at her in disbelief. "The first two times were because of Red John and you know that!"

"And the third time not? Eh? It's all about him, always. You wrote it yourself! Now stop being here and tomorrow away! You left me alone for six, six whole months!"

Her hormones drove her crazy. It was too much, she needed more time. He was back since a few months, but he could just as easily as last time go.

"I am here! How else can I prove that I want that that I won't run away? Teresa, look at me!"

"No, forget it you bastard! It's enough now. I don't want that anymore! I don't want you in my head and especially not in my apartment."

The uncertainty of not knowing was unbearable in that moment.

His voice was incredibly soft. "Reese…"

"No, don't Reese me now. I don't want to see you anymore. Go away please just go."

He just looked at her.

"Go away!"

In her eyes glistered hot tears, but she wouldn't cry now. Not here, not with him in front of her. It was so good to finally say what she felt. To no longer pretend that everything was back to normal. She'd been nice to him, only in the first evening she had slapped him and called him names but since then she had acted like an adult, but now she simply wanted to tell him that she was not okay. She didn't care anymore that her neighbors could hear her; she just wanted it to end.

She wanted to end the pain in her heart.

Instead of doing what she'd told him to do, Jane went closer.

"No," he told her firmly. "I won't go anywhere. This is my family now. My second, but not my second best. You deserve a man who will always be there for your child. You don't care so much about your own heart, but about Kat's. And I understand. Because this is exactly the point. I won't fail my second family in any way! Kat makes the difference, don't you see? I'm her father, I'm responsible for her."

Right. She was carrying his child under her heart.

His breath caressed her cheek for a while before she was ready to answer.

"We shouldn't try Jane." She closed her eyes and could feel that the tears she had tried to hold back the whole time were now flooding down her cheeks. So very, very fast and hot. "Maybe we're not meant to be."

There was now anger in his eyes. He reached for her waist and pulled her close. In the first moment she just clung to him, but then she began to struggle.

"Don't you dare to give up now!" His voice was full of pain. "I'm sorry for leaving you so, so many times, I'm sorry for hurting you too, but Teresa look at me." He put his hand on her jawline and made her look at him. "We are meant to be. We need to be with each other." His voice was so stable and firm now, he knew he needed to make things clear now. "I cannot live without you and I want to be with you, for the rest of my life. When I left you, I did not know what I wanted. Of course I wanted you, but I did not know what I wanted to have with you. Now I know." His eyes never left hers. "I want all. I want to be with you in a family, I want a second chance. This means I want a house with a garden, pets… and you as mine. I want to make you mine. Forever."

Lisbon had stopped struggling; now her breathing was erratic and Jane could feel her strong heartbeat.

Goosebumps rose all over her body. Jane wanted her to be his.

This was all she had ever wanted to hear from him and now she knew.

Her voice was quietly now as she spoke, "It will need time."

"I know."

"It won't be easy."

"I know, I don't want easy."

"Okay."

He was still holding her and after a while he had the luck to feel his daughter struggle in her mother's womb.

"Okay." He smiled.

A/N: The confrontation and the little fight had to come. Btw this was the funniest part to write. Maybe there will be more fighting from now on –just kidding xd Maybe in other fanfics of mine.

-A x