(A/N: Ugh, you guys. I need to say two things: 1. I'm sorry and 2. thank you so much. I'm SO sorry about the last chapter. I wrote it at one o'clock in the morning, and I'm really not happy with it. I'm going to leave it and work around it, but UGH! I think I was rushing myself to just publish another chapter, which is not the way to do things at all. AT ALL. iStart A Fan War wasn't even worth the hype! But I'm happier after Dan posted that note, and since he Tweeted me! Anyway, lots of us go through a rough writing period. I think this is mine. So on that note, THANK YOU SO MUCH to the wonderful people who reviewed chapter 13. I feel like it should have gotten flames, not lovely comments. You guys mean a lot to this story, and keep me going. Please keep being fantastic :)
Disclaimer: Well I could write you a novel about how I don't own iCarly, or you could just read the story!
"One bottle of ale on the wall, one bottle of ale..." Sam droned. "Take one down, pass it around, no more bottles of ale on the wall..." she and Freddie finished. They couldn't be sure, but it seemed like they'd been trapped all night.
"Now what?" asked Sam.
"Um, I guess we could just talk," Freddie suggested. "There's nothing else to do when you're trapped in a dark barn of steel."
"Ugh, well then if I'm being forced to converse with you, nub, I've got a question," said Sam. "Why are you so desperate to impress Princess Carly when you don't even know her? Are you really so shallow that you just want her title?"
"I'm not after her title," said Freddie, surprised. "I'm not like that. It's just..." he trailed off.
"What?" prodded Sam.
"Don't laugh at me. But... Princess Carly is my dream girl. I could tell from the moment I set eyes on her," said Freddie dreamily.
Sam snorted. "That's it? You took one look at her and decided? Bull! When I find the love of MY life, I'm not gonna know just from looking at him. He's gonna have to prove himself, because Mama doesn't settle for any old guy."
"Well, I guess that works better for some people, but it can work my way too," Freddie compromised. "Princess Carly is a very beautiful girl, and she seems very kind. Could you maybe tell me a little about what she's like?"
"Sure, you want to find out what she's like after you're already in love. Uh-huh," Sam scoffed. However, she continued: "Princess Carly is everything you said, and more. I've never met anyone who cares more about so many things. She takes care of her family, the castle, the servants, her friends. She's my best friend. She's not perfect, though, I've known her long enough to say. She's got flaws like anybody else, and she can be a little high-maintenance. Some princesses get like that."
"I'd do whatever it takes to be with her," said Freddie determinedly.
Sam sighed. "I don't get why everyone feels so pressured to get married right now. I'm so young, why the heck do I need to tie myself down yet?"
"My mother is practically forcing me to get married," Freddie complained. "I've tried to tell her that falling in love could take time, but she won't listen to me! I guess it could be sorta important though, since- you know, never mind why. She would be so happy if I married the princess, though."
"Your mother sounds pushy. No wonder you turned out the way you did," said Sam.
"What's that supposed to mean?" protested Freddie.
"That you're an unsocialized pansy," Sam said smugly.
"What! That is completely unfair! If I'm unsocialized then so are you, we're both living in castles-
"La la la, I can't hear you and I can't see you either!" came the sing-songy reply; Sam had plugged her ears.
"Aw, come on, Sam, you can't just back your way out of insulting me, it's not...hey, do you hear that?" Freddie listened intently.
"What?" asked Sam.
"Unplug your ears!"
"Oh. What did you say?"
"I said, do you hear that? It sounded like- Mandy!" Freddie scrambled over to a small hole that had opened up in the barn wall, letting in light and showing part of Mandy's face.
"Hi guys!" she said. "I thought you might be getting hungry, so I brought you cookies that are shaped like Maurice! Here!" She shoved individual cookies through the hole, and Sam snatched them up in a blur of movement.
"Mmmm, as soon as I saw that chicken I knew I wanted to eat him," said Sam, momentarily satisfied. Freddie rolled his eyes, though he was secretly glad that he could see again.
"I hate to ask this Mandy, but when are we going to be released?" he half-begged.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe never? It all depends on what Nora wants, I mean she's the boss," said Mandy. "And I like having friends I can visit whenever I want!"
"That's what I was afraid of," said Freddie.
"Hey kid," Sam said to Mandy. "What other food you got?"
"I didn't bring anything else with me, but I can go get some stuff if you want," Mandy offered.
"Go do that then. Run along," Sam gestured.
"Okay!" said Mandy, running off. As soon as she was out of sight, Sam turned to Freddie.
"Quick! That hole is the only weak spot we know about, and since it's providing us light, we might find something in here to make the hole bigger!"
Freddie gaped at her. "You're actually passing up more food so we can get out? Huh. At least your priorities aren't totally out of order."
Sam slapped him. "There's no time for you, Fredsass. Get me that sharp-looking thing over there!"
"Okay, okay!" Freddie quickly retrieved some type of old farm tool and handed it to her. Sam speedily used it to wrench at the boards of the barn wall, and after a few minutes, created a gap just wide to slip through.
"Whew," said Freddie. "I thought we'd never get to see sunlight again. Ah, fresh air!"
"Yeah yeah, let's get going. Either one of the pyschopaths could find us right away, and even though I think I could take both of them at once with no help from you, it'll be easier if we just get as far away as possible. Now."
"Agreed," said Freddie. The two broke out into a sprint, heading back the way they had originally been traveling. Not even a couple of crazy sisters were going to stop them from getting that Beavecoon.
"Oh, no!" cried Gibson. "Reuben, wake up. I think we slept for a whole day!"
"Bumblebees?" mumbled Reuben sleepily.
"For real! Get up, man, we've got a contest to win! I can't believe this, I can't believe this. I'm just trying to make my family proud. We've got some serious trap-laying to do, my friend. ASAP," said Gibby.
"Slept for twenty-four hours...morning to morning...so much time lost... what would the king say..." Gibby muttered to himself as he gathered supplies and loaded them on the horses. If it was the last thing he did, he was going to bring honor to the knights of his family.
I suppose it's time to head back to Prince Spencer for a report, now Socksley mused. Shame I lost that Fredward kid's trail.
He had been told to scope out all the young men of the competition, and he had indeed tracked down every one of them. Unfortunately for Spencer's intentions, only a couple of the boys really stood out. The rest were a bunch of unworthy dolts. There had been Jake, a simple prettyboy, Jonah, a conniving conman, Austin, a boy who just wouldn't shut up, Nate, Adam, Pete, and too many other boys that blurred together in Socksley's mind. There were two, and two only, that he had decided to keep an eye out for, and that was mostly for his own entertainment.
Ah, Gibson...it was great fun watching you until you and your friend fell asleep for a day. Too bad really; I was just getting to like you after all. While at first he had been unsure of the strange shirtless wonder, Socksley had grown a certain fondness for Gibson. The boy was pure at heart, had leadership qualities, and had good intentions. One of the most worthy out of all the contestants.
Socksley's other favorite, much to his chagrin, had completely disappeared! He hardly wanted to mention Freward to Spencer, as he might lose his place as top spy in the kingdom. It was simply unheard of to lose someone's trail like that! He had a plan, though. He was going to wait closer to the finish line, and watch out for contestants as they came back either with a Beavecoon or without. And surely, he would find that Fredward again, because he was seemingly the most fit for royalty. I wonder which princess he would choose he thought idly.
Which indeed.
(A/N: Is it just me, or do people keep getting interrupted in this story? Especially Freddie. Sorry if that's getting annoying, it's something I'll have to watch. If anyone is curious, Sam is winning my favorite character poll. By a lot :) P.S. Feel free to request certain character's storylines. Let me know if you want more Gibby/Reuben, Socksley, Carly/Spencer, or just plain more Sam and Freddie.)