Um yes. An update. Enjoy!
"Felicity." She doesn't turn her fair-haired head towards me. In fact, she doesn't acknowledge me at all. I clear my throat. "Felicity," I say with more urgency. Finally, she looks up from her book.
"Oh hello, I've forgotten you were here," she says with malice. I am taken aback by the ice in her strong gaze.
"Don't be silly," I say.
"No one's smiling, are they, Gemma?"
"What is the matter?"
"You're being quite rude, do you know that?"
My mouth hangs open. "I'm being rude? You're the one ignoring -,"
"Yes Gemma, you're being rude," Felicity says, closing her book with a snap. I notice it is Miss Wilhelmina Wyatt's A History of Secret Societies, the book we purchased over Christmastime. I take a seat next to her on the divan, and pick the book from the table.
"Do you remember how exhilarating it was to follow Miss McCleethy through London?" I ask, tracing the typeface stamped on the book's cover. A hint of a smile graces Felicity's lips, but just as quickly, it is gone.
"Yes, but we don't seem to do anything exciting anymore. I thought…"
"What did you think?" I ask quietly, not wanting to stir the angry monster inside of her.
"I thought we were a team in this, Gemma. You, Ann, and I have been through too much already. Things happen, things we can be a part of, but instead you go to him."
"But I've come to you now -,"
"No! You've come to me for shelter, not help. You've been here over a day, and still all I know is what you told me when you first arrived," she says, looking wounded. She snatches the book back from me angrily. "You know, I've been reading, trying to find out as much as I can to help, but it's obvious that you just don't want my help, do you?"
"Of course I want your help, Ann's as well," I say, trying to quell her before the fire spreads.
"And have you even written to Ann? Do you know how much pain she is, locked away with her tacky cousins, without a glimpse of any dreams? You know that the realms were the only bit of happiness in her pathetic life!"
With a stab of guilt, I remember the cuts on her wrists and all the tears. I cannot look Felicity in the eye.
"You promised us, Gemma. You promised you'd never leave us behind. You lied to us, your best friends!
"You haven't given me a chance!" I exclaim. "I haven't had time to explain everything to you."
"But you had time to cavort with your Indian friend," she says accusingly. "I heard what you said to him last night," she adds, her voice but a whisper. My stomach grows tight.
"Why do you hate him so?" I asked, my voice growing clipped. The subject of Kartik makes me nervous around Felicity. She turns to me, her eyes sad and painful to look at.
"You care for him more than Ann and me."
"Don't be ridiculous," I say, waving my hand. "It's just…different with him."
"No, it's not. Since he came along, I haven't heard from you, even though I'd have normally been the first you ran to," she says, ripping tiny lines in the pages of the book.
"It's more dangerous now, Felicity. People have been killed! I didn't want to put anyone else in danger," I say.
"That's never stopped you before." Her eyes glow with anger. I falter.
"Things are different now.
"They sure are." Felicity's eyes fill with tears. "Do you know what it's like to lose everything? To be shown the world and have it snatched away from you?" The tears flow freely down her blotchy cheeks.
"Yes, I do, and that's why I am fighting to regain what has been lost!" My voice wavers, and I choke back a sob.
"And what is that?"
"Everything! Our innocence, my mother's memory, all those lost people, corrupted and afraid…" Felicity sobs harder. "Kartik's brother, Bessie and Mae and all those other factory women, Pippa…" That last bit is too much for both of us. We embrace tightly and cry.
"It's too much, Felicity, too much to fight for."
"Then let me help you," she wails.
"Okay," I cry, hugging her tighter.
We weep until we cannot any longer. The silence is broken by the occasional sniff or hiccup. I reach over and take the book back and open up to a random page.
"I never did come up with a better anagram," I whisper.
"Dog Mealy Em," Felicity says, smiling weakly against the tears that still drip down her face.
"Mildrade." We laugh lightly for a moment. "How should we call for Ann?"
Felicity looks down at her small hands. "She is currently residing in London for the season, but it's not as if we can just ask to meet with her. She has people to answer to now."
Someone clears their throat quietly somewhere behind me. Felicity and I turn abruptly and see Kartik standing in the doorway, holding up an opened pocket watch. I nod and hold up one finger to tell him to wait a moment. I turn to Felicity.
"Fee, while I'm out, could you think up a plan to get in touch with Ann?"
"Where are you going?" she asks suspiciously. I fear I will never have her full trust.
"Kartik and I are to meet with someone. We don't know much else," I say, leaving out that we are meeting with his mother. "I promise I will tell you everything when we get back."
"Promise?"
"Yes. Wish us luck!" I stand up and brush my skirts.
"Good luck," she says hollowly. I feel guilty for the second time today. I know how badly she must want to come, but I fear the invitation is extended only to Kartik. I just hope I will not be turned away.
The parlor is just how we left it the last time, evidence of the struggle strewn across the polished wood floors. A woman sits primly on the divan, dressed in the most elaborately embroidered sari I have ever seen. I can hear Kartik's breath catch in his throat as we stand in the doorway, waiting for an invitation to enter.
The woman stands and takes in the sight of us for a moment, her hands flying to her mouth as her large dark eyes fill with tears. "My son," she whispers. In a flash, she sweeps over the considerable length of empty space between us and pulls Kartik into an embrace.
Smiling, I take a step backwards to allow for the reunion. Kartik and I hadn't been sure if we were really to meet with his mother, but this has erased all doubts. She is a beautiful woman with startlingly similar features to Kartik. He has his mother's eyes and her lips as well. In fact, had it not been from the worry lines that mar her otherwise smooth skin, she could very well pass for someone much younger, his sister, perhaps.
The woman places kisses all over his cheeks and forehead, and smoothes down his curls with both of her hands. Kartik looks very much like he his about to cry. While heartwarming, the scene tugs the corners of my mouth downwards, for it reminds me so much of my own mother and how much I miss her.
"My baby boy!" she exclaims through tears. She pulls away and grips his upper arms, holding him at arm's length. "You've grown so much I cannot possibly imagine that I used to hold you in my arms. Nearly fourteen years," she says quietly, shaking her head. She touches my shoulder gingerly and smiles warmly. "You look so much like Mary," she murmurs. I blink. She couldn't possibly have known my mother, unless…
Kartik catches my eye and gives me a bewildered look. I smile encouragingly. He may be quite dazed by the sudden assault of motherly affection, but I can tell that it was just what he has needed.
Without a word, Kartik's mother leads us into the parlor and beckons for us to sit. "I do believe there is much for me to explain," she says apologetically. Her voice is beautiful and melodic; I can just picture her singing lullabies to Kartik when he was an infant. "First let me introduce myself. My name is Kashvi. I am a member of the Order."
I gasp. "Yes, I knew your mother," she says as if reading my thoughts. "Such a lovely woman she was. I mourn her loss greatly." She lowers her eyes for a moment, and then fixes them on Kartik. "Forgive me," she says. "I cannot take my eyes of my handsome son."
Kartik blushes, something he does not do very often. He opens his mouth to speak but his mother shushes him.
"Please, let me speak first," she says. Her English is nearly perfect and she stands in such a way that I feel like curtsying to her. She seems to command as much presence as the Queen. "I know everything about what has happened with the Rakshana and the Order. Let me be the first to say that I have come to set things straight. The Rakshana, after all, does owe me a favor."
"What do you mean?" Kartik cuts in. His eyes are as wide as a child's despite his efforts to look professional. Kashvi sighs.
"For centuries, everything between the Order and the Rakshana has been a complete mess. In short, let me say that they are both at fault; neither one of you should be in this position." She reaches over to the coffee table and picks up the book that talked about the Goddess and Dignitary. "You have been reading this, I assume?" She looks at me with her kind brown eyes.
"Yes," I say, lowering my eyes from hers out of respect.
"Darling, look at me." I look up, blushing. "Have you no idea who you really are?"
"Well, I'm Gemma Doyle, and I -,"
"Your memories haven't found you yet?" Her voice is suddenly sharp. I look at Kartik, alarmed. He looks at his mother, his brows knitting together in worry.
"I am sorry," I say awkwardly. "I don't know what you mean." She exhales slowly.
"You didn't believe what you read," she nods to herself. "Understandable, especially with everything going on. Please dear, think very hard. Have you had any sudden thoughts, perhaps in another time with another name?"
I nod slowly. Hypatia and Alexios, the daydreams about myself and Kartik. She smiles widely, reminding me very much of Kartik. "What was your name, dear?"
"Hypatia," I whisper. From the corner of my eye, I can see Kartik staring at me. I never told him about it, for I felt foolish having such fantasies.
"Ah yes, Hypatia, one of the most prominent reincarnations of the Goddess. She ruled during the Rebellion," Kashvi glances at Kartik and I blush. "Alongside Alexios, her lover." Kartik looks at her blankly. She turns back to me. "I assume you saw Alexios in your memories? Was he familiar to you?"
I hesitate. I can feel Kartik's eyes boring into my head. "Yes," I say. "He was quite familiar."
"Why have you never said anything to me?" Kartik whispers to me.
"Because I thought they were just silly daydreams. How was I to know that the book was speaking the truth?"
"Well who was he then?" Kartik asks, his face reddening with anger. I shake my head.
"Kartik." He jumps from hearing his mother speak his name. "Do you mean to say that you do not know?"
"Yes," he says. "I don't." His mother places a hand to her forehead.
"Oh dear. Those men need to be put in line. I cannot believe this." She is silent for a moment, shaking her head. Kartik and I share a look of discomfort.
"Alright my dears let me start from the beginning. Things used to be harmonic between the Order and Rakshana. The High Priestess of the Order and the Grand Master of the Rakshana ruled together over the creatures of the realms and our world as well, yet each ruled separately over their own charges. The gateway between the two worlds once stood open, so that beings of each respective world could venture into both. Most humans did not know of its existence, but the creatures of the realms took full advantage of it, which is why this world is so rich in mythology." She pauses and smiles at us.
"However, many of the creatures enjoyed their power over the humans that the High Priestess and her Order tried to control them within the realms. This angered them greatly, for they did not like their fun to be taken from them. There was one group of creatures from the realms that stayed in our world, warriors under Alexios's control, gathered and mixed with human men of extraordinary talent to create an army used to protect the humans from the creatures that wished to harm them. You may know them as the Poppy Warriors."
I blanch. My hand flies to my stomach. "But they're awful!" I exclaim, thinking of their horrible cathedral and how they tried to trap us there. Kashvi nods sympathetically.
"Not always. They once were extremely loyal to the Dignitary. The Knights of the Poppy stood for the protection and resurrection of their king and queen, which is why the poppy symbolizes death and resurrection. It has long been a custom to offer poppies to the dead, in the hopes they will find their way back to the living."
"Then why have they turned so…evil?" I ask, shuddering. "Evil" doesn't even begin to describe them.
"Because they were allowed to stay in our world, the barrier between worlds wasn't as strong as it should have been. Some of the stronger monsters of the realms broke through. Perhaps you remember the Gorgon? She was among those that slaughtered thousands of humans. In fact, many of the ancient myths were factual.
"Hypatia and Alexios realized they had made a mistake. Shortly before they were murdered during the Rebellion, they managed to force the protesting Poppy Warriors back into the realms and close the barrier to those other than the holder of the key." Kashvi points to my amulet. "That amulet is ancient, created millennia ago and passed down through the highest members of the Order. Only its holder can summon the door of light, and its eternal owner is you."
Before I can respond, she resumes talking. "The murder left the Order and Rakshana leaderless and lost. Hypatia and Alexios were young, and hadn't been able to decide what should happen if they died. Thus, there was conflict and chaos, and the groups became hostile towards each other."
Kartik and I sit at attention, deeply absorbed with what she is saying. I find myself wishing I could speak like her, with such confidence and charisma.
"Since then, the Goddess and Dignitary have been reincarnated, but there are few records of those times, for they had always mysteriously died before either could regain control over their charges. In fact…" She stands and walks across the room, trailing her fingers over various surfaces. "The last time they walked this earth, they lived in this very house."
"Really?" I ask, thoroughly intrigued. I cannot possibly imagine having walked here before, though now I can recall that I did feel oddly at peace in the attic.
"Yes. It was during the late 1600s, during a time of great scientific and philosophical enlightenment. Times were changing, and people were becoming more educated as a whole. It was seemingly the perfect time for structure to be restored to the Order and Rakshana and thus, Hypatia and Alexios were reborn as Aurelia and Alexander. They were raised with their duties in mind, fell in love, married, and moved here to start a family."
"Well that makes sense," I say when Kartik's mother pauses. "I felt something when I was in the attic. It was familiar to me. Calming." I look to Kartik for validation. He shakes his head.
"I hate it up there. It's very…eerie." Kashvi looks at us both in surprise.
"That is very interesting; especially considering Aurelia was murdered in that very attic." My mouth drops open. "And where Alexander committed suicide shortly after he saw the life drain from her body. Perhaps that is why you felt so uncomfortable there, my darling?"
Kartik frowns thoughtfully. "I saw it happen yesterday when I was sleeping. I dreamt it."
"So it will come as no surprise when I say that you are the Dignitary, correct?" Kartik blanches. "Come now, my son, you must have had an inkling. Did you think it was by mere chance that you became the guardian of the high priestess?" She smiles at the two of us. "You are the Goddess and the Dignitary. Eternal lovers. Soul mates. But I doubt you needed someone to tell you that." She smiles knowingly.
"Oh dear, where are my manners? I have tea ready in the other room. I'll be just a moment," she says, jumping from her seat and exiting the room, leaving Kartik and I alone with all this new information. I suspect that was her intention.
"You knew all along," Kartik says, smiling slightly.
"I have," I respond, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear. Kartik stares at his hands. "What are you thinking about?"
"The first time I saw you – in the marketplace. When you bit my hand in London…" he says, shaking his head slowly. "I always knew. It's always been you." Without looking up, he extends his hand to me. I place my hand in his and study his face. His eyes close and he runs his thumb over the back of my hand in a gentle caress, as if trying to remember something.
His eyes flutter open and for a moment it's as if I can see straight into his soul, and he through mine. My heart fills with this new emotion, more potent than love, more intoxicating than lust. He dips his head towards me so that his hair brushes my forehead. His lips hover so close to mine that I fear I will die with anticipation. All I've ever known, all I've ever wanted, is right here, mere centimeters away.
With a snap, he pulls back as his mother enters the room, carrying a tea tray. "I do hope you will fond the tea satisfactory," she says, ignoring the wild blushes on our faces. "It's not often that I make my own."
"Thank you," I say, taking the cup she hands me. I take a sip and the fruity, spicy taste instantly reminds me of India. "I haven't had Darjeeling tea in ages. This is wonderful." Kashvi smiles at me, but says nothing.
My eyelids grow heavier by the moment. Next to me, the teacup slips from Kartik's hand and smashes on the floor. "Oh," I say, realizing that something is wrong. I feel drugged and sleepy. I shakily place the cup on the table, barely sitting back again before I lose consciousness completely.
Ooh cliffhanger! Is Kartik's mommy good or bad? I guess you'll just have to wait! Of course, updates do come faster with more reviews, you do realize that, correct? Please tell me what you think of my "history" and whatnot. The whole reincarnation thing - cool or bollocks? I'm trying very hard to tie everything together, as well as make it historically valid. I even looked up 17th century names and their meanings in order to come up with good ones. Aurelia means "golden" and Alexander means "defender". I like putting thought into things, as you can see.
I HAVE MY OWN GUITAR HERO! Sadly, I'm also working like a fiend, so forgive me if the updates don't come fast enough. Though reviews definitely help with the burn out, so please remember my sanity and well being as an author and as a human being.
Holding out for a hero til the end of the night (preferably named Kartik),
LunaEquus
(PS. Poor Fee...and yes, I'll get back to Simon. I actually like him again so I have to work that back into the fic. Oh, and maybe expect crazyPippa!doll soon)