It was three o'clock, and Mr. Gold was considering never fostering a girl again. They were too much work – and worse, they were inscrutable work. Boys were difficult too, but at least he could understand them. Alicia, on the other hand ….
"Daddy, do you ever wear that dress?"
"No, dear, it's for sale. And I don't wear merchandise … or … dresses."
"Daddy, can we play Snow White? You be Snow White."
"I know people who wouldn't like that, dear. I suggest you pick another game."
"Daddy, do you know how to fake-burp?"
"… No?"
"Here, let me show you! Do this! BWAAARP!"
" ….."
Frankly, he was getting sick and tired of it. Not that he would let Alicia know that – the girl was still absolutely precious, and he'd always had an embarrassing soft spot for kids. Maybe he could start dropping her off at Miss Blanchard's house – she knew how to deal with little girls.
He didn't get much time to contemplate it, though. What had started as a nice summer day was turning into a nasty summer storm, and since he and Alicia had walked to the pawnshop (and most certainly weren't walking home in this downpour), Mr. Gold went around securing windows and ushering Alicia to the less-cluttered living quarters upstairs.
"I'll be right back," he promised, making sure she was more comfortable in the ancient bedroom than she'd been in the dark office downstairs. A little belatedly, he wished he'd dusted. "Come down if you need me. Don't shout."
She nodded and he made it back downstairs just as the downpour started. He was halfway to the door, meaning to lock it and close up, when a torrent of people seeking shelter from the rain burst inside.
OK, not a torrent.
Two.
"Regina," he greeted in distaste, noting that Henry was gone – little tyke must be at home. For Regina's sake, the baby had better had a sitter; Mr. Gold would enjoy calling CPS to no end.
"Gold," said Regina shortly. He ignored her in favor of telling Dr. Hopper that if his Dalmatian tried to shake the water off, he would personally boot them both out in the storm.
"Easy, Pongo," Archie whispered. With a shake of the head, Mr. Gold moved past both of them and locked the door. He pretended not to enjoy their wary looks.
"It appears we're roommates," he said smoothly, pocketing the shop key. "You two feel free to camp out in the main shop. I'll be in the office."
Which was a total lie, of course. He'd be upstairs, in the spacious, well-furnished apartment above the shop. On another day, he might have invited Archie, but now there didn't seem a way around that without Regina barging in as well.
He was inches from the curtain that led to his office when thunder cracked and an ear-shattering scream rang out from upstairs. Archie's face turned white. Regina looked at Mr. Gold in horror.
"You've locked us in with your kidnap victims?" she cried. Gold didn't even have time to roll his eyes before the little girl screamed again.
"DAAAAAADDY!"
He managed not to wince. Now it was Regina's turn to go pale.
"What are you doing with your captive?" she demanded, looking sick. This time, Mr. Gold did get to roll his eyes. His sarcastic reply was interrupted by the sound of running on the stairs.
A very small child bowled into him and knocked him over.
"Daddy!" Alicia cried, clutching at his lapels. "It's thunderin'!"
"Astute observation, dear."
"Is that a child?" Regina exclaimed. "You kidnapped a child?"
"I'm her foster father," Gold snapped, lifting a trembling Alicia off him and accepting Archie's help getting up. Carefully, he pulled Alicia back into his arms, deliberately avoiding Archie and Regina's stares. "Now, Alicia," he murmured, using a gentle thumb to wipe away her tears, "it's just the weather. It's not going to hurt you – in fact, it's actually quite boring when you get used to it."
"She's a bit too old to be afraid of thunder, isn't she?" Regina sniffed. Mr. Gold didn't turn around, but he heard a startled yelp and assumed that Archie may have "accidentally" whacked someone with his umbrella.
"Ready to go upstairs?" he asked Alicia softly. Her tears had stopped and the trembling had mostly subsided.
"Can I sleep with you?" she asked hopefully.
One could almost hear the slow turn of Archie and Regina's heads.
"No," said Gold slowly. "It's three o'clock in the afternoon. And I'm not going to sleep with you."
"Why not?"
"Because girls don't sleep with boys."
With an absolutely adorable pout of exasperation, Alicia tossed her head and said, "Well, can we cuddle?"
He could feel Regina and Archie staring at the back of his head.
"Oh, let's just go upstairs," he said.
Regina stood beside the couch, arms crossed and glaring. Mr. Gold sat on the sofa with Alicia in his lap and Archie lounging beside him. Pongo was curled up on the floor.
"This is highly inappropriate," said Regina waspishly and out of the blue.
"I agree," said Mr. Gold. "That dog has no place in my shop."
"It's not your shop, it's the upstairs apartment!" protested Archie at the same time Regina snapped,
"That's not what I'm talking about!"
They gave her their best bored expressions.
"This!" Regina growled, stabbing a finger at Gold and Alicia. "This … cuddling."
"Would you like to join?"
"No!" Regina took a moment to get her seething anger under control, apparently unaware of Archie and Gold's disinterested expressions. "You are her foster father, Gold! You can't cuddle with her."
Mr. Gold pulled Alicia closer in defiance. "If you're having troubles with Henry, I can always take your place," he offered. "I understand it's difficult to be close to someone you don't love."
If looks could kill (and in Fairy Tale Land, they sometimes could), Mr. Gold would have started rotting weeks ago. Archie took one quick glance at Regina's face and hid a snicker behind his hand.
"You look ridiculous with that girl on your lap," Regina huffed.
Mr. Gold just shrugged.
A/N: This chapter easily has the least clever name. I think it's even worse than Butterfly Clips XD
Just so you guys know, I accept any and all prompts (unless I've done them before, in which case I still might find a way to do it again). So tell me what you want to see for this fic! I'll work it in!