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Chapter Fourteen – Going Pear-Shaped

Kuebiko (noun) A state of exhaustion inspired by an act of senseless violence, which forces you to revise your image of what can happen in this world

The moment we crossed the wards I grabbed hold of the two and apparated us to London.

We appeared in a small alley that was near Safe House Number Three, my bare feet smacking on the ground. The small street was deserted and tranquillity and darkness surrounded us. It was dead silent, only a small breeze rustled some newspaper that lay on the ground. It was eerily calm and I didn't trust it a second. I loosened my grip on both Sirius and Remus and turned towards them.

"The Safe House is just around the crossing before us. The wards around the flat haven't reported a breaching. We should find Tonks and look out for the Dark Mark."

Remus gripped his wrist and nodded. "I'll send her a message through the bracelet, tell her that we're here."

No one of us was inclined to wait for an answer, so we inched forward, out of the alleyway. I was at the head of our little group, Sirius and Remus right behind me. The three of us had our wands ready in our hands, prepared for anything that may come. Peeking out of the alley I craned my neck, trying to get a glimpse at the flat a few hundred feet away.

My breath caught in my throat. Right there over the Safe House was the Dark Mark. A sickly green, nebulous figure floated over the house, displaying a horrendous skull that seemed to open his jaw almost mockingly. Out of its mouth flew a snake with oversized fangs. It was a terrifying sight and I felt goosebumps travel up my arms. My grip on my wand tightened.

"Fuck", I heard Remus mutter behind me. "Where's Nymphadora?"

Sirius snorted. "Don't let her hear you calling her that."

My raised hand silenced them both. "Let's disillusion ourselves and find Tonks. I need to get into the flat."

Looking back at the two men I saw them booth nodding tensely. I raised my wand to my forehand and tapped it lightly against my skin, casting the charm nonverbally. It felt like a raw egg was cracked open on my head and poured coldly over my whole body. No matter how often I used that charm it still felt odd. We made our way light-footed towards the apartment complex, only a ripple in the air betrayed our presence. In a crouch I crossed the road, paranoid to be discovered even though we had disillusioned ourselves. I had to hold the left side of my skirt to keep myself from stumbling over it and I felt the irrational need to giggle hysterically. It was so typical for my bad luck that I ended up investigating the appearance of the Dark Mark in a ball gown and barefoot. As we got closer I recognized a crumpled figure on the middle of the abandoned street.

"Oh Merlin", I breathed and quickened my steps. Next to me I heard one of the others do the same.

Only a few feet were left when I realized that the shape was a man, hurled into himself in a protective fetal position. My bare feet smacked on the concrete as I ran the last steps towards him. Observing my surroundings I made sure that we were alone on the street before I turned the man on his back. My breath left my lungs with a rush when I stared at the empty and unseeing eyes of the man. His face was slack, but I checked his pulse nonetheless. It wasn't there.

"That's Lizzie's husband", I informed the two Order members that I still felt by my side. What had he been doing on the street? He should have stayed inside the protective wards, sheltered by the Fidelius Charm.

"We need to find Tonks", came the pressed reply from Remus. I couldn't agree more. This situation was going awry and I felt like we were in great danger.

"Maybe we should inform Kings-", before I could finish my sentence I felt my magic resonate within me, warning me, as the wards of the Safe House were triggered. "There's someone in the house. An unknown magical signature is closing in on the wards of the flat. Hurry!"

We still maintained our disillusionment charms, in the hopes that we could use the surprise moment to our advantage. Running full speed towards the house, we left the dead body on the street. There was nothing we could have done for him. Opening the front door with a quick Alohomora we entered the house and were greeted with darkness. The stairwell was silent and the shuffling sound from my skirt on the floor seemed deafening loud. A quick Homenum Revelio informed us that three people on the third floor were currently the only ones out in the hallways.

"The flat is on the third floor", I whispered.

A hand on my shoulder held me back and Remus took the lead. I had my hand on his back and felt how Sirius did the same as he hooked his fingers into the skirt on my lower back. It was so dark in the stairwell that we couldn't even make out the typical ripple of someone moving under the disillusionment charm. Not wanting to topple over each other we had to know where everyone was. The only method to do so without cancelling the charm was to hold onto each other. We climbed the floors, continuing to move in a line as we heard muffled voices. Creeping further into the hallway of the third floor, we could finally make out the words, just behind a corner of the hall.

"Pray tell, where is the flat with the number nine?" a deep and familiar voice grumbled. "I can easily make out number eight and number ten. But where is nine? Can you guess where it's hidden?" the voice continued harshly and sarcastic. He already knew that the flat was hidden by the Fidelius charm.

Moving around the corner we all stilled because of the scene that was presented to us. Mulciber was holding Tonks in a vicelike grip, his hand buried in her now dark red hair, pulling her head back in an uncomfortable angle. Lizzie lay to his feed, sobbing and whimpering.

"Tell me!" Mulciber roared and I flinched. I was surprised that none of the neighbours tried to investigate the loud noises, but it was better that way. They would've been causalities. I heard a chocked laugh and snapped my attention back to the scene in the hallway.

"Never", Tonks growled defiantly. That only caused Mulciber to become even more livid and he threw Tonks to the ground, next to Lizzie. My heart stuttered when Mulciber raised his wand at Tonks and Remus was just a split second faster in his attack than I was.

Cancelling our disillusionment charms, we rushed around the corner. Remus threw a Shield charm between Mulciber's wand and Tonks, but it was not strong enough. The slicing hex from the Death Eater caught Tonks on the neck and blood started to splatter in time with her heartbeat. It was a horrendous scene, Tonks falling backwards and trying to stop the bleeding with a weak hand, Lizzie screaming in desperation and Remus attacking Mulciber with bare hands, his werewolf persona looking out his now yellowish eyes.

Sirius raced to Remus side, throwing a curse at Mulciber while trying to shield his friend that seemed to have lost his grip of humanity. I ran to Tonks, starting to intone healing charms before I even reached her. The bleeding slowed down, but it just didn't stop completely. There was so much blood covering the floor and Tonks. Still chanting I ripped a piece of fabric off my skirt and wrapped it around the young woman's neck. If magic didn't help I had to try the Muggle way. I ignored Lizzie with her crying and mumbling all the way through it, I just couldn't help her right now.

The battling noises behind me spurred me to hurry up my first aid and after I made sure that the bleeding was stopped at least for now, I whirled around to support the two Order members. Only then I realized that another Death Eater had joined the battle, throwing one nasty curse after another at Sirius and Remus. We must have missed him when we've been sneaking up the hallway or maybe he'd just joined Mulciber.

Without second thought I threw myself into the battle next to Sirius and deflected a hex that was aimed at the Animagus. Ducking under a curse from Mulciber I used my lower position to send a slicing hex at the ankles from the Death Eater. When I heard him yell in pain, a fierce grin formed on my face. I would take great pleasure in destroying him. He had attacked people that were under my protection.

Mulciber's stumbling and trying to regain his balance gave me a short moment to turn to Remus.

"Take Tonks and get her to help!" I yelled, grabbing his shoulders and shoving him towards his girlfriend. "Now!"

I whirled around and faced our enemies again, avoiding another curse that missed me by inches. Baring my teeth I responded with everything I had, determined to protect the family that I had saved once before. Next to me Sirius bellowed a half crazed laugh and twirled his wand to attack the Death Eaters even more fiercely. Shoulder to shoulder we stood between the imposing Death Eaters in their dark robes and the crumpled mess of Lizzie behind us. This time the dark wizards had lost their kid gloves, sending lethal spells at me. It was a duel to the death. Only on the edge of my attention I heard Lizzies crying turn hysterical as I heard a door open. And that was when the shit really hit the fan.

"Emma", I heard the chocked exclamation from Lizzie and I turned on my heels, shocked to see little Emma standing in the open door to the now visible flat number nine. Her shocked eyes seemed unbelievably big in her small face and tears threatened to fall as she observed the adults battling in the hallway. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mulciber raise his wand at the little girl, a vicious smile in place. Sirius was still busy with the unknown Death Eater, unable to intervene.

Leaping towards the small girl I cast a hurried shield charm, hoping that it was at least strong enough to weaken the curse that Mulciber would sent our way. I reached Emma and scooped her up in my arms, turning my back to the fight to shield Emma with my body, but trying to raise my wand to deflect any attacks. But I was too slow and could only watch helplessly as Lizzie threw herself in the way of a massive Reductor Curse, not able to shield herself without a wand.

The curse that was meant for Emma - or for me? - caught Lizzie square in her head and made it explode in a cloud of blood, tissue and bone pieces. It splattered right in my face, leaving it drenched and my eyesight momentarily impaired. I fell to my knees, trying to hold onto Emma, who cried heartbreakingly in my ear and struggled to free herself from my hold. A desperate sleeping spell from my wand left the young girl limp in my arms and I threw myself out of the way of another spell, listening more to my instincts than really seeing anything. Wiping desperately over my eyes, I retorted with a nasty curse, but the dead weight of Emma made me slow and I found myself standing at the end of the hallway in front of a window, too far away from Sirius.

This can't be real, I repeated over and over in my head, like a mad mantra. This can't be real.

Mulciber looked grim at me, eying the girl in my arms with apparent distaste. When he started his attacks again I was only able to deflect or dodge them. It seemed that the moment Lizzie's blood had made contact with my skin, my fighting instinct had left me. Lizzie was dead. Her head had exploded in my face and I had little pieces of her brain stuck to my skin. This can't be real. Whenever I voiced a spell I could taste the coppery flavour of blood on my lips. Even Emma was covered in blood. This can't be real. Seeing the girl coated in the blood of her mother left me incapable of thinking. My hands were covered in Tonks blood and my upper body with Lizzies. There was just so much blood everywhere and I couldn't seem to be able to fight anymore. Please, don't let this be real.

A shimmery dog Patronus raced past me through the window. I hoped it was Sirius alarming the Order that we needed help. I hoped Tonks was okay. I hoped we made it out of here alive. Although I knew that my magical core was as strong as ever, I felt the strength of my spellcasting weakening. The next curse from Mulciber let me stumble a few step back, tossing me back against the window and cracking it in the process. Not able to cast a counterattack I concentrated on my shield, but the flimsy protection broke with Mulciber's next attack and I felt myself being thrown back again. This time the already damaged window pane gave away and the force from the attack carried Emma and me over the edge.

The weightless feeling of falling finally woke my fuzzy brain up and I snapped back with force and all my instincts were back in working. Casting a frantic Arresto Momentum I slowed Emma's and my fall just enough to prevent broken bones. The impact was still plenty strong to force the air out of my lungs and leave me disoriented for a few seconds, but I stumbled to my feet with my wand ready, still holding tight on Emma with one arm.

Not a moment too early as Mulciber apparated on the street. This time I was ready and immediately started to throw the most horrid curses at him that I knew. I wanted him to hurt, I wanted him to feel the same pain that he had caused me and I wanted him to regret that he ever laid eyes on me. Now Emma's weight was not an obstacle, but a motivator to fight even fiercer. I was even more determined to protect her.

Suddenly Sirius was at my side again and helped me force Mulciber step for step back. The animagus' curses were not as dark as mine, but they were vile nonetheless. Maybe he had seen Lizzie as well and wanted to avenge her. Maybe he was just a borderline dark wizard. I didn't care, as long as he helped me destroy the Death Eater.

Seeing an opening in his defence I cast a quick slicing hex and hit his left underarm, which was cleanly severed. More blood spilled onto the street, but this time it was the right kind of blood. Death Eater blood. Baring my teeth in a vicious sham of a smile I was just in the process of casting another painful curse, when I heard the Plop sounds of Apparition. Not once straying my eyes from Mulciber I trusted Sirius to cover my back, which he instantly did.

"It's the Order", came his relieved statement.

But I didn't care for that. I only cared for the man in front of me and how he had killed two of the people I had sworn to protect. Not wavering in my attack I threw another dark curse at him, taking advantage of him being in too much pain and shock because of his lost arm. My curse left a nauseating feeling in the air. Dark magic could do that. But the spell missed and scorched the concrete instead. I took another step forward, ready to end him, when he raised his wand and turned on the spot, apparating away from our battle.

"Coward!" I yelled after him, my rage almost suffocating me. He ran away and I hadn't been able to retaliate the lives he had taken that night. "Coward", I gasped out again.

The noise of shuffling feet behind me made me whirl around and raise my wand threateningly at whoever approached me. Pressing Emma closer to my chest, I stared at Sirius face. He raised his hands in an appeasing gesture, like I was a wild animal that was ready to bolt. Looking over his shoulder I saw more Order members in the street. Some of them entered the house, probably to obliviate the Muggle neighbours, some of them were securing the street, so no other attacks could surprise us. I spotted Alastor and just knowing that he was here made me feel a bit safer.

"Is the girl alright?" Sirius asked gently. I nodded frantic. I'd tried to do anything in my power to keep her safe, but it hadn't been enough. She was orphaned now. Her parents were dead.

I looked at Sirius with big eyes. "They are dead", I said with a breathy voice. "How is that possible?"

Sirius stepped closer to me, his hands still raised to appear as non-threatening as possible. "I know, treasure, but you kept the girl save. You kept her save."

I nodded again and finally lowered my wand. Looking down at Emma I couldn't hold it in anymore. A painful sob wretched itself from my throat and I fell to my knees. I cradled Emma in my hold, patting her bloodied hair like it could reassure her somehow, ignorant to the fact that she was still unconscious, because of my sleeping spell. Sirius kneed in front of me, holding onto my shoulders while I wailed my heartbreak into the silent night. I started to rock Emma and me, still sobbing over the awful events of the night. I wish this wasn't real. But sadly it was painfully real. Another family was ripped apart, because of this bloody war. Another child was all alone, because of some manic blood supremacist who was convinced that Muggles were less worthy. Voldemort followers were responsible for so many deaths and so much pain. Voldemort was responsible. With this he had taken my last restraint and I was ready to fight fire with fire.

"I want Mulcibers head on a platter", I gasped out viciously, not caring that I sounded half crazy. "I want the bloody Dark Lord to pay for every crime he ever committed. I am done with holding back."

My gaze clashed with Sirius furious one and I realized that I was not the only one who felt unhinged, because of what just happened. He looked just as murderous as I felt and I knew that I had an ally in him. He would support me in my pursuit to hunt down Voldemort, probably without caring how we achieved that goal.

Sirius gripped my shoulders almost painfully hard and nodded. "They will all pay", he promised me darkly. "Every single one of them."

Unbeknown to the people on the street, two followers of the Dark Lord had witnessed the whole scene, from Riga falling out of the window to her promising her revenge. They looked at each other with something like worry in their eyes.

"This is a most unfortunate turn of events", one of them intoned with slight concern in his voice.

"Really?" the second man asked sarcastic. "Tell me, Avery, why should it worry us in any way, that the girl our master wants almost as much as he wants the Potter boy, just committed her life to end us all?"

Avery rolled his eyes annoyed. "No need to get all snappy, Rabastan. We should report back."

Without waiting for a reply, Avery turned on the sport and disapparated to the current stronghold of the Dark Lord. After the abrupt end of the ball, all the attending Death Eaters had been summoned by Voldemort, questioned about the evening. Only Mulcibers absence had been suspicious, even more so as no one knew where he was or what he was doing. Now they knew. The Dark Lord would be immensely displeased.

But Rabastan, still crouching in the alleyway, had his eyes fixed on the young woman that was covered in blood and he smirked. From the moment he'd lead eyes on the captivating witch he had known that he wanted her. He was not a man to share his possession, so it was beyond all question that she would be his alone. Not even the Dark Lord would be able to convince him otherwise. But there were lots of different ways to achieve that. Maybe he could coax his master into agreement that he could be gifted with the girl. Or maybe he could abandon his master and just snatch the girl. Rabastan had no illusion about the Dark Lord. Since his resurrection he was more than a bit lunatic and his actions got crazier with every passing day. The Lestrange family was not shy about ridding themselves of people that would do them no good. His brother and his crazy wife would probably continue to follow the Dark Lord. Bellatrix for sure. But maybe his brother could be swayed. If not, Rabastan was his own man, so he had no inhibitions to make his own decisions.

Casting one more glance at the alluring witch, Rabastan followed Avery's example and disapparated. He had to get back to the summoning and report to the Dark Lord. Furthermore, he had to take care of Mulciber. That man had attacked Lady le Fay with lethal curses and even threw her out of a window. Rabastan would allow absolutely no one to harm his witch. Letting a threat like Mulciber continue to live would just not do.

With a swirl of magic Rabastan appeared right back in the big hall that currently served as the meeting room for the inner circle of Lord Voldemort's most loyal followers. Mulciber already lay in front of his master's feet, crying out without making any sound. It seemed that he was silenced and the bleeding of his arm had been stopped. Voldemort sat in his throne-like chair, like so often when he held an audience. Flicking his wand he lifted the curse that had been on Mulciber and the Death Eater crumbled lifelessly in a puddle of his own blood.

"Lucius", the Dark Lord hissed ferocious. "Tell me again how your little setup went along. Mulciber sadly missed your report from earlier."

The addressed man stepped forward and bowed deeply. Although he tried to conceal his fear, it was clearly visible that he was anxious to be directly asked by his master.

"Well, the girl showed no resistance to being introduced. With that we could learn that she's the last descendant of Morgana le Fay herself."

Voldemort hissed angrily and flicked his wand at Mulciber, who started to thrash on the ground. "Did you hear that, Mulciber? Do you realize who you attacked? Her blood is much more important than yours! You need to learn your place!"

The Dark Lord released the curse once more and gestured Lucius to continue. The Malfoy patriarch cleared his throat and straightened his posture.

"The ball seemed to be successful so far. The girl started the dance with Draco and chatted with us politely and willingly. She seemed to warm up to us. Even the journalist enjoyed it."

The frightening red eyes of Voldemort focused on Lucius. "Would you say that you achieved the goal of the evening up untill that point?"

The addressed man nodded eagerly. "Yes, without a doubt! I'm convinced that the Skeeter woman would've written something about Draco and the girl, even more so after the girl seeked out my son on her own. I'm sure we charmed the girl enough to at least plant an idea about leaving the Order. From there it would've been an easy task to sway her to our side."

Rabastan was aware that Lucius exaggerated the responsiveness of the le Fay regent, but he would in no way reveal the little lie. The Dark Lords mood was bad enough as it was.

"So tell me, Lucius, what went wrong? You've had been so convinced that you could snatch the girl right out of the Orders clutches and assured me that this little farce would be worth your effort."

"Well", the blond Death Eater stuttered. "The girl was informed about a sighting of our Dark Mark somewhere in London. I heard of it only moments later, but the girl had already started to get her people out of my manor. Soon after that she left herself."

"Crucio!" Voldemort screeched again and pointed his wand at Mulciber. Watching the man twitch on the floor, opening his mouth in silent screams, Voldemort turned towards his followers without lifting the torture curse.

"Let me all show you what happened afterwards. Let me all show you how Mulciber destroyed the progress we've made to secure the girl to our side."

The Dark Lord stopped his curse on Mulciber only to growl a vicious "Legilimence!" to assault the mind of his follower on the floor. Waving his wand in front of him, he projected the images into the air, almost like they were in a pensieve, so all of his followers were able to see for themselves how Mulciber had failed his Lord.

Mulciber cast the killing curse at a man who crumpled in the middle of the street. Moments later he conjured the Dark Mark in the night sky.

A woman with red hair was held by it by Mulciber, who shook her angrily and sliced her neck afterwards.

Three people rushing down the hallway, the men attacking him, while a petite female started to dress the wounds of the injured woman.

The girl - the le Fay regent - was throwing herself between Mulciber and a child, but was saved by another woman, whose head exploded when the curse hit it. The girl stumbled to the floor and rubbed over her eyes frantically.

With the unconscious child in her arms, the regent deflected curse after curse, but was ultimately sent through a window.

At that moment Voldemort yelled angrily and the floor under him cracked under his rage. The images continued.

Clutching still tightly on the child, the young woman had a determined look on her face and threw dark curses at Mulciber. She was joined by a man and only moments later Mulciber lost his arm.

"And then you fled", Voldemort concluded when he stopped his assault. The tortured Death Eater sank weakly on the ground, not even able to beg for his life. Blood was running from his ears and his remaining limps twitched as an aftereffect of the prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus curse.

"You rendered everything void and didn't have the courtesy to die by her hands! The younger recruit should be happy that the Black traitor killed him on site!"

Rabastan saw his chance and stepped confidently forward. The Dark Lords attention snapped immediately to him, ready to find another outlet for his fury.

"My Lord, I think not all is lost", he started, his voice collected and calm. "Avery and I observed Lady le Fay after Mulciber was gone and there is maybe a chance for compensation."

Rabastan raised his eyes unflinchingly towards Voldemort's and opened his mind seemingly without holding back. Voldemort dived into his memories with ease and observed the images that were on the forefront of his mind. He relived how the girl was on her knees, rocking herself and the child and being held by Black. Rabastan led some of his infatuation spill in the memory. How he thought that she was a beautiful sight to behold, even more so with the blood all over her shape. It gave her, still clothed in the ball gown, such an unearthly and desirable look and Rabastan easily projected the feeling of lust into the memory. If it helped him to gain the girl he was not ashamed to admit his yearning of the le Fay regent. When they reached the end of the memory that Rabastan presented to him, Voldemort withdrew from Rabastan's mind forcefully, leaving him with a pounding headache. But one look at Voldemort's face was enough for the young Lestrange to notice, that the Dark Lord had picked up both of his intentions. One, that he wanted the girl for his own and two, how they could use Mulciber to try to absolve his actions. And just like planned, Voldemort was none the wiser to Rabastan's intention to get the girl, even if it meant to betray his Lord.

"It seems like our esteemed Lady wants to have your head", Voldemort said with cruel smile on his lipless mouth, looking down at his follower that had fallen from grace. "Maybe I'll grant her this wish. But not before I made an example out of you for everyone, as a warning for what will happen when you ignore your masters will."

"Crucio!"

12th Grimmauld Place, London, days later

I watched Emma with a small smile on my face. For now she was sitting on the floor of my guestroom, her head snuggled up in the furry shoulder of Sirius animagus form. Just moments before they had frolicked around the room, almost breaking the dresser meanwhile.

Emma had been catatonic after the murder of her parents. Of course she had been. It had been painful to observe how her little mind hadn't been able to cope with the death of both her parents, even more so as she had witnessed the gruesome murder of her own mother. So I felt no guilt when I obliviated that specific memory from her mind. Taking only that experience had made all the difference. She had woken up from her unresponsive behaviour and started to mourn her parents. Her age prevented her from fully understanding the concept of death, but she was old enough to comprehend that her parents wouldn't come back. And that made her cry. Just like it made me cry.

We spent most of our days in my guestroom at Grimmauld Place, with Sirius as our company. From time to time we ventured into the kitchen to grab a snack, but nearly all the residents of the headquarters left us alone. It was almost as if they knew that both Emma and I were close to our breaking point.

Sitting down on the floor next to Emma, I rested my head on Sirius as well, facing towards the little girl. Without a moment of hesitation, Emma snuggled into my arms, demanding to be cuddled. Laughing softly I indulged her and ignored Sirius as he huffed a dog-laugh.

No matter how much I tried not to think about the night, I always came back to it. The little information that Emma could give us indicated that her mother went out to get ice cream at the next petrol station for a movie night. Bad luck somehow led Lizzie get discovered by Mulciber, who cornered her on the street. Her husband rushed to help her, but payed with his life. And Mulciber, not as half dumb as I expected him to be, put one and one together and concluded that the family was hiding in that house. So he dragged Lizzie through all the hallways, till he found a missing flat. Roughly then Tonks appeared and confronted the Death Eater, instead of keeping out of danger, like I had told her. All the following events were painfully known to me.

Tonks made a full recovery, but was left with a rather nasty scar on her neck. She made jokes about it, how it made her look more dangerous, but I was not amused. She had been injured, because I sent her to the Safe House on her own. No matter how often she assured me that she was an Auror and that she was meant to keep people save, I couldn't squash the feeling of guilt. When Remus had tried to thank me for saving Tonks, I lost my shit and barricaded myself in my guestroom, only Sirius and Emma as company. I hadn't saved Tonks with my poorly spelled healing charms or that amateurish bandage around her neck. I'd been the very reason why Tonks had been in that situation.

I was still in correspondence with Goldsnipe, but I was too ashamed to see him in person. How could I look someone in the eyes who was a seasoned fighter, who would have surely done better than I had? I was ashamed of myself. How could Goldsnipe still trust me to have his back when I couldn't keep my people save. So I refused a meeting and stuck to write letters. He told me that Skeeter had written another article about the ball, but I skipped that passage in his letter. I was not interested to deal with that. At least not right now.

A few days after the incident, the Order started to plan what to do with Emma. I knew she couldn't stay at Grimmauld Place and I knew that I wanted her out of the country. To be more concrete, I wanted her as far away as possible from harm. As chance would have it, one of the Weasley kids was married to a beautiful witch that had family in France. The Delacours would be more than happy to look after sweet Emma. When I told Emma about it I expected her to throw a tantrum and refuse to leave my side. But she calmly asked me about the family and if I would be willing to be there during the introductions. She was so very mature about it, looking at me with eyes that looked too old and it broke my heart all over again. Maybe she did understand the concept of death after all.

A tentative voice stopped my brooding.

"Riga?" Tonks asked from the other side of the door. "Goldsnipe is here."

I sighed. Goldsnipe had been given access to the headquarters after the ball. He was not officially allied with the Order, but it seemed that his loyalty to me gained him enough trust within the Order to allow him free movement in the headquarters. And some oaths on his magic of course. Al was still his old, paranoid self, after all.

"I don't want to see him."

"Come on, Riga, he said it's really important." She paused for a moment. "He has a package with him. You should probably see him."

The fur under my cheek turned into a clothed chest and I was jostled gently when I suddenly lay on top of human-Sirius instead of dog-Sirius. Smoothly he pushed me into a sitting position and Emma scrabbled out of my lap. Without any hesitation Sirius made his way to my door and opened it, striding past a nonplussed Tonks towards the kitchen, where all of The Order meeting seemed to take place.

"What are you waiting for?" he yelled over his shoulder.

I frowned. Obviously my hiding time was over and I had to face my problems again. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. I really didn't want to. I still felt emotionally raw and like a feather could knock me over.

"Can you stay with Emma?" I asked Tonks with still closed eyes.

The woman grinned in return and nodded eagerly. "Sure!"

A glance at Emma told me that the girl was just as enthusiastic to spend some time with the metamorphmagus. Smiling relieved I gave Emma a wet smooch on her cheek and followed after Sirius. I knew that I couldn't hide forever, but the last few days had been like a break. Yes, I knew it was selfish, because the world didn't stop spinning and the bad guys were still out there. That was the reason why I had to get back into the game. Apparently right know.

I lumbered down the staircase, but changed into lighter steps as I neared the painting of Mrs Black. No need to wake that old boot up. Making my way into the kitchen I almost froze when I saw more people than just Sirius and Goldsnipe in the room.

"Well…" I started sheepishly, without really knowing what to say. I'd avoided contact to all of them and it was a bit weird to face them together. The Golden Trio was absent, but most of the inner circle of the Order was present.

"Riga", Goldsnipe greeted me with an intense look. He raised his hand to his throat and gave me the traditional greeting for a close friend. My shoulders almost slumped in relieve. Whatever he felt and however he thought about me after the ball night, he was still honouring our friendship.

"Goldsnipe", I greeted him in return, mirroring his movements, trying to communicate my appreciation and gratitude with my eyes.

"So…" I asked, stretching the vowel uncomfortable. "What's up?"

"A parcel arrived for you at my desk", Goldsnipe said, his eyes holding an intensity that I've never seen before and gestured to a package that stood on the kitchen unit. It was designed like one of those typical birthday presents. Happy wrapping paper in gold and white with a golden ribbon around the whole parcel. It was rectangular and rather big. And it looked like a bad joke. "I'm the only one who can touch it, but I'm not able to open it. The only malicious curses on the package are to avoid others to touch or open it. I can't be sure what's inside, but I doubt it's something dangerous, as all our diagnostic charms came up negative."

I eyed the parcel warily. "Do you know who sent it?"

Goldsnipe shook his head. "No, but there's a letter attached to it."

"It just appeared on your desk?" Moody grumbled distrustful.

The goblin had no problem to face the ex-Aurors inquisitive gaze. "Yes, it literally just popped out of thin air."

"I don't like this." I rubbed my eyes. "Do you have a suspicion?"

Goldsnipe inclined his head thoughtfully. "I assume the Dark Lord or one of his followers."

"Didn't you say that the younger Lestrange showed interest?" Sirius asked me.

I nodded. That was possible, but what was in the box? Maybe the item from his vault that he told me would intrigue me? It would be too nice of him to just send it to me.

"Alright, maybe I'll just start with the letter?" Taking a look in the round I saw no one disagree with me. Shrugging my shoulders I reassured me once more that no nasty curses were attached to the parchment. Slightly nervous I grabbed the letter, holding my breath to wait for a reaction. When none followed I released my breath relieved. So far, so good. I opened the envelop and peeled the card out. Without wasting my time I read it out loud.

Honoured Lady le Fay,

I was informed that one of my followers acted without my consent.
I hope the enclosed gift shows my followers deepest regret about the incident after your debutant ball.
Be assured that such an occurrence won't happen again.
There is still hope and reason to find common ground.

"It's not signed", I added. But I was pretty sure I knew who it wrote, although it seemed pretty unbelievable. 'My follower'. "The Dark Lord himself wrote me a bloody note?"

I stared at Goldsnipe who gave me incredulous look back. Both of us looked at the parcel. I took a step back from the kitchen unit where it stood upon.

"I really don't want to get gifts from one of the most dangerous wizard of all times", I said with raised eyebrows. Even if Goldsnipes check came up negative, it felt unsafe to just open gifts from people that usually killed other people. "Can't I just throw it away? Or somehow send it back to him?"

Moody scoffed. "That would sent a clear message."

"Good!" I intoned convinced, there was nothing more that I wanted to do than sent Voldemort a clear message about my feelings for him. I took another step back from the parcel. A hand on my shoulder and stopped me. Looking up, I frowned at Sirius face that resolutely looked down at me. And then sighed dejected. "Alright, alright."

Advancing the parcel, I was not all too happy. If something jumped out of the package and attacked me, I would be so bloody angry. Touching the parcel just as careful as the letter before, I dragged it towards me. Nothing moved within the parcel or cursed me straight away.

"It's rather heavy", I informed them, trying to stall. But I knew I had to open the package sooner or later, so I took a deep breath in and opened the ribbon on top of the parcel. I lifted the lid and peered inside. My glance clashed with the unseeing eyes of Mulciber in his slack face. There were some blood splatter on his bearded cheek and bruises on his skin. His hair was messier than I've ever seen it when he was still alive. The package that resembled a birthday present had Mulciber's head content. I blinked once and lowered the lid down again. Mulciber's severed head was in a box. Regarding the people in the kitchen I blinked again. The Dark Lord had killed Mulciber, because he killed the adults of the Martin family. And he had sent me his severed head as a gift. I made an ugly noise back in my throat.

"What is it, little witch?" Al asked gruffly, but with concern in his voice.

When I opened my mouth to answer his question, I knew that I wouldn't answer with words. Turning around from the kitchen unit and that horrible parcel, I threw up, right on Sirius shoes. He leaped back with a surprised shout and everyone seemed to jump into action. Goldsnipe, as the only one who was able to touch the parcel, moved it out of my reach. Sirius vanished the mess I've made and gathered my hair, trying to keep it out of my face while I still gagged, propping my hands on my knees. I felt another pair of hands on my back, rubbing soothing circles on it. Glancing under my arm into the room I saw Alastor pointing his wand at the package, as if he could prevent it from doing anything. I made another weird noise and Sirius moved his feet a bit further away from me, afraid that I got sick on them again.

"Water?" I croaked. Someone pushed a glass of water and some tissues in my hand. Wiping my mouth first, I rinsed the acidic taste out and spat the water in the sink. Gulping a mouthful of cold water down, I tried to calm myself. I turned around and realized that Remus had been the one to rub my back. Good man, I thought with a touch of humour. There was no way to break the news to them gently, so I blurted it just out.

"It's Mulciber's head."

The whole room seemed to freeze and Remus hand stilled on my back. After a few seconds Sirius moved to stand protectively in front of me. As if the bloody severed head of a Death Eater could do me any harm. I moved around Sirius and pushed the lid of the package away. Everyone was able to see for themselves now, but I refused to look at it again.

"Bloody hell", Sirius murmured. "Back in the street you told me that you wanted Mulciber's head on a platter."

I looked at him, pure shock on my face, realizing that he was right. "Bloody hell", I repeated weakly, "that was just a figure of speech."

"Seems like someone took it seriously", Remus interjected. I felt the blood drain from my face. Talking about revenge and actually receiving it were two vastly different things. And I truly never thought about beheading Mulciber. I felt bad somehow, but not because of the fact that the Death Eater was dead. More because I had to look at his inanimate eyes and feel my stomach heaving with the sight of him. But I couldn't bring myself to feel bad about his death. Maybe I was a bad person.

"As much as I hate the scare tactic, I can't say that I'll mourn a Death Eater", Moody said coldly. "Let's not forget that he killed innocent people. He got it coming." I threw a glance at Al and saw understanding in his eyes. We felt the same way, which calmed me down a bit.

"Can we get rid of it?" I asked almost desperately.

"I can bring it to the DMLE. Maybe even tell them that someone sent it to you." Kings eyed the letter. "Sans the little note." I made a noncommittal sound. I really didn't care where he dumped the dreadful parcel, as long as it was gone from my sight.

Sirius stood still next to me and I lead my head on his shoulder, seeking comfort and strength. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. Both of us continued to stare at the package. Sirius inclined his head towards me.

"It seems we're back in this messy game."

A/N Let me know what you think