Dedicated to the wonderful blackrose113! For responding to my plea for assistance in developing a new title! I will still accept suggestions, however, I will mention the chapter before what title I decide on. (btw–what do you think of 'away he went')?
Anou...those who were waiting for something interesting to happen, you'll hate me. Erm...this is anticlimactic.
Disclaimer: If you actually read this, tell me that you noticed how I didn't deny rights to Naruto in a review, and the following chapter will be dedicated to you.
Chapter 14: Senile Bakemono
"Sasuke and Sakura, you two go now," Kakashi intoned.
Sakura stood up and stretched. "Aah, finally! This hut smells awful, right Sasuke?"
Sasuke didn't respond. "Yeah, yeah, rub it in, Sakura." Ino complained. She, and everyone else who remained, had been sitting in the same position for hours, because the hut was too cramped to move around comfortably.
"Maybe the smell's from you, huh, pig?" Sakura said slyly.
"Or maybe it's your giant forehead beginning to rot." Ino countered. She was sick of sitting in the damp and rot of the grass hut (which shouldn't be standing, anyway), and although she had vowed to take the high road in their spats, Ino found that she couldn't take any more.
Several of the others seemed like they were contemplating interfering, but Sasuke stepped forward first, but getting to his feet and ducking out without a word.
"Hurry up, forehead, or he'll leave you behind," Ino growled maliciously.
Sakura turned towards the ripped cloths that served as the door. "Sasuke, wait up! You can't just leave me behind like that!" She ran out, ducking to avoid touching the filthy drapes.
Ino sighed. "When do I get to leave?"
"You'll be leaving next, with me, Arashi and Konohamaru. In about two hours." Kakashi smiled encouragingly.
"Really? We can leave next?" Konohamaru leaned forward eagerly, which was a mistake, as it put him over Arashi.
"Get off! We just got about four square feet of space, use it you moron!" Arashi grumbled as he shoved Konohamaru away.
"Sorry, sorry."
Neji wondered if he should speak up. It appeared that everyone had forgotten he was there as well.
-
"I apologize, I misplaced the papers that I needed for this subject, elder, Sunaga-tachi." Tsunade smiled.
The male village elder coughed. His female counterpart glanced at him sharply. "Well if we can get back to business then,"
"Of course." Tsunade smiled, brighter than before, sure that she had her perpetrators. The Sunaga envoy eyed her quizzically.
"Ahem. Well, we were planning on offering it in exchange for services–"
"Such as access to their own library of forbidden jutsu?" Tsunade rested her chin on her hands.
"...urk."
"..." the Sunaga envoy looked at him expectantly, apparently having not been informed.
"And utilizing their shinobi to do our missions at sixty percent commission to us?"
"...gaahk."
"..." the Sunaga envoy moved on to glaring.
"In addition to tax free imports? What, did you really expect them to agree to that?"
"Well, this certainly wasn't recorded earlier." The woman elder spoke up for the first time. "No one could possibly be foolish enough to demand so much, for mere water. It would be cheaper to just buy it by the bottle!"
"My point exactly, obaa-sama," Tsunade beamed. An ANBU silently appeared behind the male elder. Tsunade resisted the urge to nod in response, but the ANBU disappeared on his own. "So, I think that there might have been a few mistakes in the drafts?"
"Yes, I agree." the elder eyed her partner cautiously. He had his eyes down to his folded hands.
"Excuse me, but this really should have been taken care of earlier, it isn't fitting–" A noble cut in, confused and offended. He stopped, however, at a signal from Gaara.
"We should adjourn for a short break. The meeting can reconvene when Konoha is ready." Gaara said curtly. Tsunade was relieved at a chance to escape the debacle, and was on her way from being pissed to being amused at the whole situation.
When Tsunade affirmed, Sand filed out to the guest lounge, leaving the Leaf delegates alone.
"Weellll...that was embarrassing." Tsunade chirped to break the silence.
The old woman coughed. "Y-yes."
The Hyuuga Hiashi cleared his throat. "Respectfully...what the fuck was that. Embarrassing doesn't cut it."
The male elder stooped to his feet and shuffled out of the room through the back entrance.
"It appears that he is growing senile in old age," The woman elder said scathingly as she gestured at her comrade's back.
"...So why didn't you proofread the documents?"
The woman drew up her chest. "I cannot be expected to know everything! I've had my hands full, with you-can-only-guess-what!"
Of course, they all could guess. They could all guess correctly, in fact. They all know that she was referring to the disappearance of that dreadful Kyuubi brat, at the one time he could make himself useful.
"While we have a short respite, we should decide on the proper price of water to be sold to Sunaga," Tsunade interrupted. She was met with blank looks.
"It would be rather rude to get their hopes up, only to renenge." she supplied helpfully. This time she was met with positive murmurs.
-
(The Summary of Technical Stuff Because, Hell, How Should I Know This Crap!)
Sunagakure returned to the conference room, where a very together Leaf Village (minus one old man) had rooted out the problem! Yay!
Konohagakure offered to sell Sunagakure water for X amounts of yen per X gallons of water. The meeting adjourned, and everything was hunky-dory. Except for one, measly, niggling little thing...
-
Timetable: Same as last chapter, but would I remember? Probably not (actually, no.) One week left of boring, boring meetings till Arashi has to fool Gaara-chan.
"I am glad we were able to resolve the discrepancies," Tsunade smiled as the delegates were dismissed. As was custom, she waited until everyone had left the room before leaving herself.
That, unfortunately, did not happen.
"Tsunade-sama."
Tsunade paused in her preparation to leave. The Kazekage apparently wanted to have a word.
"Yes, Gaara-sama?"
"I would like to ask you...a few questions."
Tsunade thought it was rather cute, the way the man who was essentially leading a nation could come off as so nervous. That the man who had killed dozens, hundreds of people in cold blood since the moment he was born, would like to ask her, 'a few questions.'
She hesitated, not out of caution, but thought. "We should go somewhere else. The cleaners will be waiting to come in."
Gaara acquiesced, not that Tsunade had expected him not to. She took him to the balcony, where she had had many meetings with Members of Standing in society.
"What was it that you wanted to ask me?"
Gaara frowned uncertainly. "I-don't know."
At this, Tsunade raised an eyebrow. Thankfully, Gaara wasn't looking at her, but leaning against the railing and looking down at the street below.
"Oh?"
"I don't know how to word it."
Tsunade was beginning to understand. Gaara had never had much human contact, it must be difficult to even perform his duties as Kazekage.
"What was it about? Maybe I can help."
"I. Naruto. How is Naruto. Since the last time I saw him."
Uh-oh. Shiiiit. That, so soon?
Think fast. Think faaaaaast.
"Well, he's been, err. Naruto, huh." Tsunade began. "He kinda got a bit depressed, I think he asked some girl out and she turned him down," oh shit oh shit why did I say that he's gonna get sooo pissed, "but he's A-ok now! Really, back to his old energetic self. Prime candidate for Hokage." Tsunade laughed nervously.
"Aah," Gaara said. Tsunade looked at him oddly; it seemed like he hadn't even been listening to the words she had been saying.
Tsunade sighed inwardly. I'm going to kill myself later for asking this... "That's not what you really wanted to ask, was it?"
Gaara stood silently for a full minute, just leaning and people watching. "Iie." he said after a long pause.
Tsunade began to feel impatient. She was...standing here, having a heart to heart with this kid who had been raised to kill large numbers of people, who was unstable, and he had called her out here for a reason he wasn't even willing to supply.
Tsunade began to gesture awkwardly to break the tension in her shoulders. "I-if you would like to think about it and come back later, I-"
"What's it like to be Hokage, Tsunade-sama?"
"Ee-ara?" she paused in the middle of a 'walk like an egyptian' pose. Gaara looked at her.
"Should I repeat it?"
"Er, uh, no." Tsunade repositioned herself somewhat normally and scratched her cheek thoughtfully.
Why, of all people, is HE the one asking that question? He should know better than anyone what it's like, he IS the equivalent of–
Wwaaaaaaiit. I get it.
"Naruto, what did you do with the Kazekage?" Tsunade half-grimace. They got into contact this early? Kami-sama, I hope Arashi was ready for it.
"...what do you mean, Tsunade-sama."
"Ha-ha-ha, you're such a joker, Naruto, trying to stiff me out of my job already?" Tsunade gleefully elbowed Gaara!Arashi's side.
Gaara!Arashi didn't even twitch.
Waaaait. Waaaaaaait a minute. Arashi's group...wasn't supposed to come back until...after dinner...
"Aaeepp!" Tsunade gasped, eeped, and leaped back with her hands covering her mouth. "I am sooo sorry, Kazekage-sama! I didn't have any right to get so close to you!"
"...it's fine." Gaara blushed under his sand armor. And looked away, just in case. No one had actually been brave enough to...touch him so casually before.
"Eeh, I thought, it's just a strange question, but Naruto-kun is on a mission, and he shouldn't be back yet." Dammit dammit dammit! Inner Tsunade roared.
"If you don't want to–"
Tsunade most certainly did NOT want to. But her inner-mother interfered. Here was a child, cold and isolated, reaching out for help, how could she but assist?
"If but nothing." Tsunade interrupted firmly. Gaara looked back up at her, with his Koala Eyes wide. "You want to know what it's like to be Hokage?
"Weeeell..." what was it like to be Hokage, anyway? "Ah! I know! Everyone calls me Tsunade-hime, and I can foist off all my paperwork on Shizune-chan, so I get to mostly sleep when I'm not working in the hospital. And then I have to deal with the Baka-Elders. So sometimes it's hard work, and people get on my back about being lazy, but overall, it's pretty easy, unless we're at war like a few years ago..." Tsunade continued to ramble, her mother's intuition not picking up on the fact that she had told Gaara exactly what he wanted to know.
-
So it's just me that makes them skittish. Only me.
They all run because they're afraid of me. They haven't forgotten what they made me into, to fit their own mold. It's not the status of Kazekage, their protector, that makes them feign respect.
It's me.
The bakemono.
But, just now...even if she thought it wasn't me...
She treated me like I was normal.
Gaara looked at Tsunade, who was rambling, self-absorbed in her own description of her job.
Maybe I can find someone for me?
-
"Ka-ka-shi, can we leave yet?" Arashi whined.
"I'm huuungry..." Konohamaru mumbled.
"Kakashi, you'll buy us dinner, right?" Ino pleaded.
At least you'll get food sometime in the near future! I can't leave unless someone tells me to, and it looks like everybody's forgotten that I EXIST! Neji wanted to scream.
But fate dictated that he not.
TBC.
Learn japanese! I think I'm subconsciously starting to learn it from watching too much anime;;
bakemonomonster
If you don't know something else...just ask.
Poor Gaara, poor Neji! I actually did forget about him, as I was going through sending characters to the village. And ooh–seems like Gaara-chan's working up a love interest? Or maybe just platonic? I, for one, have no idea.
I felt guilty not working on this for a bit. But I really hat this chapter. It's boring, isn't it?
Uggh. That scene with Gaara and Tsunade? Awkward. I hate it. HATE IT. It turned out less serious than I hoped, not what I planned at all.
Keep assisting in the Title votes! And reviewing. Because I'm about to die. (Not suicide or illness. BRAIN DAMAGE, NO MORE SCHOOL PLEASE)