Disclaimer: Not mine…just playing with SM's characters. The plot is all mine though, so don't steal it! Stealing is bad!
A/N: Thank you so much for reading & reviewing! And special thanks to prettykittyartist for nominating "Aloha 'Oe" for Fic of the Week on the Lemonade Stand! :-D
And how serendipitous…I wish I actually had the foresight to plan it this way with the chapter and title, but oh well. My BFF and I are gonna go watch "Titanic in 3D" this weekend. I'm a little excited. :-D And surely by now, you all have noticed how often "Titanic" comes up in this story…
As always, extra big thanks to my friend and beta eternally_addicted! She makes all of my nonsense make sense :-D
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
- Celine Dion, "My Heart Will Go On"
Chapter 13: My Heart Will Go On
Age 25
"Mom?"
The air seemed to stick in Edward's lungs and his body couldn't move.
It was his mother. He hadn't seen her in almost nine years. She looked older, tired, but stronger than she had looked the last time he had seen her. Underneath the look of exhaustion, there was a sense of strength about her. Deep down, seeing her like that made Edward happy. He dared to hope that she would never again be the woman who would let a man push her around. Not after everything he had learned from Bella and Renee.
"Edward…you…you look good," his mother said, though there was a somewhat unsure tone to her voice.
"Mom…I…I…"
Edward didn't know what else to say. He fumbled with the words in his mind and couldn't quite form what he wanted to say. All he could do was watch as his mother stepped towards him slowly.
"Renee told me you were in town," Elizabeth said quietly. "I…I was hoping you would come by."
"I…I wanted to talk," Edward finally said before swallowing heavily.
"Would you like to talk at the house? I have some lemonade I made in the refrigerator."
Edward's heart clenched in his chest. His mother's lemonade had always been his favorite when he was a little boy. She made it with the perfect balance of freshly squeezed lemons and sugar.
"All right," Edward whispered.
Elizabeth didn't close the distance between herself and her son any more. She wasn't quite sure how he would receive a hug, so she decided against it for the time being, no matter how badly she wanted to scoop her son up in her arms. As they walked back towards the main house, Elizabeth took the time to look over her son. Edward seemed to have grown a couple more inches, and he had definitely become more muscular. Also there was his tan skin and lightened hair. Once in a while, Elizabeth looked at the surfer magazines at the bookstore in Port Angeles. She knew that Edward had been doing amazing for himself, and even though she hadn't been able to tell him, she was proud of him.
She thought of poor Bella Swan then, and Elizabeth's heart sank. In the end, everything really was her fault. There were so many regrets in her life, but her biggest, was not being brave enough to stand up against Ed the first time he struck her, and then the first time he struck Edward. She never should have stuck around after that. No matter how much he had said he loved her, she should have ignored Ed's words. If a man truly loved a woman, there was no way that he would ever strike her. She shook her head to keep away the words that she heard Ed spew venomously at her during the trial. Elizabeth knew Edward would ask about the trial, so she had to keep her head about her.
As Edward entered the house he took in the changes, and the things that had stayed the same. The changes outweighed what had remained the same. Edward could understand. The only thing that he still had from Forks was the picture of him and Bella. He didn't even have the clothes he left with, or his surfboard anymore. He had gotten rid of everything that had reminded him of his family and Forks, but he couldn't say goodbye to the girl that he loved. Bella had been the girl who thought the world of him, and she would have done anything for him.
Edward paused in the doorway to the kitchen as his mother went to the refrigerator to get the lemonade. He hadn't been in the kitchen the day it all happened. The kitchen was the one room that he didn't look in. If he had, he would've seen Bella's backpack on the ground, and his mother lying near it. His mind began to play all different kinds of scenarios behind his now clenched shut eyes.
His father, raving and high, a complete lunatic.
His mother, unconscious and beaten on the floor.
Bella screaming, bleeding and helpless, staggering away to try and escape, completely terrified.
He couldn't take it anymore and turned away, walking swiftly towards the now redesigned living room. The dingy furniture and carpets were gone, replaced by light colors and hints of floral designs. Edward's eyes flicked around the room, taking in the changes, but paused on the fireplace mantel, and the picture frames that lined the top of it. His steps were cautious as he approached, almost afraid of who or what he might see in these captured moments from the past. When he finally stood close enough to see them all, he noticed two things that were glaringly obvious. Number one, his father wasn't in any of the pictures, and number two, Edward was in every single one of them.
Edward gasped as he looked at the pictures, his eyes scanning each one as he moved from left to right. The first picture on the left was of him as a baby, big green eyes, no hair, and a gummy toothless smile. They seemed to progress from there. There were a couple with him and his mother, probably around five or six years old, on the beach in California. There were even some from his teenage years, mostly the school yearbook pictures. What surprised Edward the most was that his mother had pictures of him surfing, and holding up the World Championship trophy from two years ago. Edward swallowed heavily, unsure what to feel about the realization that his mother had been following his career all this time.
"That one's my favorite. You look so happy and carefree."
Edward jumped slightly at the sound of his mother's voice behind him, and he turned around to face her.
"I think it's the smile on your face," Elizabeth continued, gesturing the picture of Edward riding a wave in Tahiti. "You can tell how happy being out on the waves makes you."
Edward didn't know how to respond so he just sort of nodded his head. Feeling the sense of unease around them, Elizabeth gestured towards the couch and the glasses of lemonade she had placed on the coffee table.
"Shall we have a seat?"
The couch was big and Edward was relieved that his mother didn't sit too close to him. Part of him wanted to just hug her and forgive her, but the bigger part of him was demanding answers and justice. He couldn't resist reaching for his glass of lemonade though. The liquid was the perfect mix of sweet and tart on his tongue and he swallowed greedily before placing the near empty glass back on the table.
"Just the way you like it right?" Elizabeth asked, attempting to lighten the air around them.
"Yeah," Edward answered, his voice rough with emotion and the tart lemonade. "Tastes the same as I remembered."
The two were quiet for some time after that. Neither of them really knew where to begin. Edward had so many things he wanted to know, and didn't know which question he should start with. Elizabeth didn't even know how to begin to even talk to the man who sat in front of her. He was her son, but she didn't know him anymore, a realization that hurt way more than she thought it would after all these years. Finally, Edward whispered one word to his mother.
"Why?"
Elizabeth swallowed heavily, knowing that this was the beginning of the conversation she had always hoped she would get to have someday, but dreaded at the same time.
"Why what, Edward?"
Elizabeth's question seemed to make something inside Edward snap, and the words came tumbling from his mouth.
"Why did you even have me if Ed never wanted kids? Why didn't you ever stop him? Why did you let it happen? Why didn't you fucking leave him and take me with you?"
Edward jumped to his feet and started pacing in front of the fireplace, his hand buried in his hair.
"I was just a kid, Mother! Just a fucking kid the first time he hit me! Why didn't you do anything? You just let him keep on beating me! Not even moving to bum fuck nowhere Forks helped to change him! We could have left his ass in California!"
"Edward…" Elizabeth tried, "I…I was…I was scared."
"I was just a kid!" Edward shouted back. "Just a fucking kid! You were my parents! You were supposed to love me and care for me and all of that other mommy and daddy shit! Did you even try to defend or protect me? Even once? Once in your damn life?"
"He's in jail now, Edward!" Elizabeth shouted back in her defense.
"Yeah?" Edward said with a sarcastic chuckle. "And how many years before that was he beating me? Punishing me for taking up space and making him spend his hard earned money on food, clothes, and shelter for me. How many years before that did you just cower away in your room and do nothing while he beat me to a pulp?"
Edward let out a near hysterical laugh. "You were scared you say? You were nothing but a damn coward! Anywhere would've been better than with him! You were the adult! Why didn't you ever DO something?"
"Why didn't you ever do something?" Edward repeated, his voice softer now, and had a defeated tone to it. He turned and leaned his arm against the mantle of the fireplace, his forehead following.
Elizabeth looked down at her hands in her lap, her fingers nervously picking at each other.
"I was wrong," she whispered, after a few moments. "I know I should've left with you the first time he struck either one of us. I should have divorced him in California and just came back to Forks with you. There are so many things that I should have done, Edward. The only way I can make up for them is to say that I'm sorry."
"But why, Mom? Why did you stay with him?" Edward asked, still agitated.
Elizabeth sighed and looked out the window. After Ed's trial she was a mess. Renee Swan had been an angel sent from God, helping her cope and eventually get back on her feet. Renee had gotten Elizabeth into therapy and had gotten her the job at the Inn. She had essentially brought her back to life. Therapy had helped her a great deal too. The only advice from her therapist that she had never followed was to try and mend things with Edward. Elizabeth never thought that she would get a chance to, and Edward was doing so well for himself in the surfing world. Clearly however, something had changed, and Elizabeth knew it wasn't just the injury to his knee.
"Your father was the only man I ever dated," Elizabeth started off quietly. "He was so handsome and so charming when I met him. He was smart and funny, and couldn't believe that he was interested in a girl like me. I fell so hard for him, Edward, and I loved him so very much."
Edward grimaced and clenched his eyes shut. He couldn't believe that anyone could ever love that monster, but he was at war with himself in his mind because there was a little boy who once loved that man too.
"He had seemed so happy the day you were born. He carried you around the hospital room, talking to you about the Dodgers' baseball season that year. I knew he hadn't really been to keen on the idea of kids, but seeing him with you, I thought that had changed in him."
"The first time he hit me, he had been so drunk. I was completely shocked when it happened, and couldn't believe I was looking at the same man that I loved so much. He apologized, cradling my face, telling me he loved me. I believed him, fooled myself into thinking it wouldn't happen, and that I shouldn't have made him upset. I can't even remember what I did that made him so mad in the first place."
"I was in denial after that. I couldn't, or rather didn't want to believe that this…this monster was the same man that I loved and married. I didn't want to believe it, Edward. I didn't know what to do, and I was scared, second guessing myself, and wondering if I would really be able to take care of you if we left your father."
"But it was happening right in front of you, mom. Everything that he did," Edward whispered. "You saw it happening."
"I know, and I also know that there's nothing I can do to change what happened, no matter how much I wish I could. All I can do is say that I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so, so sorry."
Edward didn't know what else to say and he sighed heavily, still leaning his head against the fireplace mantle. The two were silent, both knowing that acceptance was the only place that they could start from now, but neither wanted to make the first move. Edward could keep blaming his mother for things in the past, but there was nothing that either of them could do to change what had happened. He was starting to realize that this also held true where Bella was concerned. His heart still felt heavy, but at the same time, it felt a little lighter.
"I'm sorry, Edward," Elizabeth repeated quietly. "More than I could ever say."
With his eyes clenched shut, Edward stood up and took another deep breath before turning around and facing his mother.
"I'm sorry too," Edward whispered, for what he wasn't quite sure, but a part of him definitely felt guilty seeing his mother all by herself, and knowing that she had been suffering too, even if she wasn't the one taking all the beatings.
Elizabeth nodded in acceptance. She didn't dare hope for too much from Edward. Seeing him there had been more than enough in her eyes to make up for his absence these past years. She reached for her glass of lemonade as Edward made his way slowly back towards the couch, sitting down heavily and reaching for his glass as well.
"When do you head back to Honolulu?" Elizabeth asked after a few minutes.
"We drive back to Seattle tomorrow morning. Our flight leaves in the late afternoon."
"You came with…" Elizabeth trailed off.
"My roommate, Eric Yorkie. He was my…my first friend I made on the tour."
Edward decided to leave out the fact that Eric was more like his only friend on the tour. It didn't seem important that his mother hear that.
"And your knee?" Elizabeth asked, before her cheeks blushed slightly. "I, uh…I've kept up with what you've been doing all these years. Through the internet and magazines and all."
"You did?" Edward asked, truly shocked. All these years, Edward had been torn between thinking that his mother didn't care, which made him not want to see her, or that she was so hurt by his leaving that she never wanted to see him again.
"Of course I did! Edward, I may not have been a very good mother, but you are my only son, and no matter what, I always loved you. I couldn't just sit by, not knowing if you were really okay or not."
"But you never tried to contact me," Edward stated, his voice harsher than he intended.
"No…" Elizabeth answered quietly. "I didn't think you would want to hear from me."
Edward didn't say anything in response. He wasn't sure how he would have responded if his mother had tried to get a hold of him first. He was pretty sure that it wouldn't have been a happy response though.
"Thank you, for you know…being supportive I guess," Edward said. He almost felt like he was at a loss for words, and he didn't necessarily like the fact that he felt awkward around his own mother.
The sound of Edward's cell phone chirping with a text message cut through the silence and awkwardness that hung in the air, and he knew Eric was probably just checking in to see how things were going.
"Do you have to leave?" Elizabeth asked. "You don't have to. If there's more that…that you want to know."
Elizabeth swallowed heavily but did everything she could to remain calm. She was beginning to get nervous now, wondering if Edward would ask about his father. It wasn't that she wouldn't tell him, but she just wasn't sure how Edward would take everything. Did he want to know what happened that day between his father and Bella in the kitchen? Did he already know? She guessed that he did. Did he want to know about the trial? Then there was also the matter of the news she had learned a couple of months ago. She had told Renee and Charlie, but wasn't sure if she should tell Edward. She knew the Swans hadn't said a word about it to Bella.
Edward knew what she was really asking when his mother had asked if there was more that he wanted to know. He didn't think Bella would lie to him about what exactly had happened that day of her attack, nor did he think Renee Swan would edit any details either. There was a dark part of him though that did want to know what exactly had happened to his father. Was he rotting away in jail? Was he suffering? Did his mother still talk to him? Edward decided that even though he didn't really want to ever think about his father again, he needed to know.
"Can you…" he paused and swallowed to coat his dry throat. "Can you tell me about my fath— about Ed? Where he is now?"
"Oh, Edward…" Elizabeth sighed, steeling herself to tell Edward everything about the man she had once loved. "There's a lot to tell you about your father."
The smell of the salty sea air almost made Edward feel like he was standing on the beach in the back of his house in Hawaii. If it wasn't for the freezing temperature and the misting rain hitting his face, he might've thought he was back home already.
He opened his green eyes to look out at the waves and the horizon beyond. There were a few surfers scattered out on the waves, but otherwise First Beach was empty. Eric stood next to him, his hands shoved into his pockets and his long hair covered by a knit hat.
"So this is where you used to come surf, brah?"
Edward smiled a little. "Yeah."
"I bet you don't miss wearing a full on wetsuit."
"Not at all," Edward said with a chuckle.
"Is that why you wanted to come out here before we headed back?" Eric asked. "Revisit your old stomping ground one more time?"
Edward's faint smile fell, and he sighed heavily, his thoughts dark and tumultuous like the waves in front of him.
"You know…this is where I first saw Bella."
Eric frowned. "I thought you met her at some party at some dude's house."
"That's where I talked to her for the first time. The first time I ever saw her was before that, here at the beach."
Age 16
Edward pushed himself up to sit on his board, his legs dangling over the sides. The surf wasn't that great, but he would take what he could get up here in booneyville Forks. There weren't too many people out on the water, but it was sunny, so First Beach was decently crowded.
"Man, these waves suck ass," James said as he paddled up next to Edward.
Edward agreed with a nod of his head, but said nothing to James. He wasn't quite sure how he ended up hanging out with James. It probably had something to do with the girls that just wouldn't leave him alone. He had nothing against female attention, but he couldn't exactly hide the bruises his father gave him when girls were constantly trying to get him naked. Girls came second when it came to keeping his family's private life private.
The sight of another surfer prepping his board on the sand caught Edward's eyes, and he recognized Ben Cheney, who was in some of his classes. Behind Ben, he saw two girls giggling and whispering to each other. He wasn't sure if they were with Ben, but he didn't think about that factor for much longer. The brunette who was standing there had caught his eye. The blonde at her side had no problem whipping off her clothes to display the green bikini she had on underneath. It certainly looked like she was trying to get Ben's attention, and from here, Edward was pretty sure it was working.
Edward managed to stay on his board as a set rolled in, and he found himself sitting out there alone as James caught a wave in. Edward's eyes hadn't strayed from the brunette. He couldn't look away. Who wore a sweatshirt and long pants to the beach? The blonde was obviously trying to get the brunette to take the obvious non-beachwear off, and the brunette seemed to be adamantly refusing, going so far as to stomp what looked like a very petite foot on the sand.
What Edward wasn't expecting to see was the blonde grabbing a water bottle and throwing it all over the brunette's clothing, soaking her in the process. Over the wind, Edward thought he could almost hear the sweet sound of the brunette's voice yelling at her friend. His mouth popped open slightly when the brunette began to peel off her clothes in an angry huff before throwing them on the ground and gesturing withher arms almost as if she was asking the blonde, "are you happy now?" Edward was certainly happy now, and he grimaced when he felt a slight stirring in his wetsuit.
The brunette was gorgeous. He couldn't tell how old she was from where he sat in the water, but he figured she had to be near his age. Her legs seemed to stretch on for miles, and the cut of the blue bikini she had on only seemed to make them look longer. Her stomach was flat, but he could tell her hips flared out, and she had some decent sized boobs on her. Her skin though, her skin looked so milky and smooth, and he suddenly found himself hoping that she had put sunscreen on to prevent the color from ever changing. He chuckled when he looked at her face, as she was still scowling at her friend, but even upset, there was something so…cute and yet so beautiful about her. He couldn't take his eyes off her.
"So which chick caught your eye? The blonde or the brunette? Either way, you're shit out of luck."
Edward shook himself out of his daze, not realizing James had come back.
"What? Why do you say that?" Edward asked.
James laughed at him. "Well, number one: They're both going to be freshmen. They're young. Number two: the blonde girl is Angela Webber, Pastor Webber's daughter, so good luck with that one. And number three: The brunette is Isabella Swan, the Police Chief's daughter. No way he'll ever let a fuck up like you near her."
"Fuck you," Edward muttered,
"Well, I guess you could go for it…if you're a man who likes a challenge, Masen."
"Not interested," Edward mumbled, suddenly interested in catching a wave and getting away from James.
"Hey, whatever you say, man!" James called out, as Edward started to paddle and caught the next wave in.
His eyes still managed to find the brunette on the beach, and he smiled a little to himself. Isabella Swan was a very pretty girl.
Age 25
"Did she see you that day?" Eric asked, as Edward finished recounting his first sight of Bella.
"No," Edward said, shaking his head. "She said the first time she ever saw me was at Ben's party."
Eric just sort of nodded quietly. "So…um…why did you want to come here again?"
Edward almost snorted, but kept it in.
"This was the first place I ever saw the best thing that ever happened to me. Bella was the best thing in my life. God, sometimes I think she still is the best thing in my life."
A sudden rage that Edward had tried to keep tucked away after talking to his mother bubbled forth, and he let out a loud scream of frustration, burying his hands in his hair. Eric jumped at the noise, staring at his friend in shock.
"Fuck!" Edward shouted, his hands tugging at his hair.
"Do you know what my mom told me yesterday?" Eric didn't answer since he assumed it was rhetorical. "She told me that he's dying. He's got cancer and a weak heart from all the drugs and shit he did."
Eric opened his mouth to say something, but Edward cut him off.
"Oh, but that's not the best part, no…Apparently, he's changed his ways, he's seen the light or what the fuck ever."
Edward hung his head, his arms falling to his sides.
"He wants to talk to me."
Eric couldn't stay silent a second longer. "What the fuck?"
"I know," Edward mumbled.
"Are you going to talk to him?"
Edward shook his head slowly back and forth. "I don't know…I don't know."
"Fuck!" Edward shouted. "I don't know!"
"I was just a fucking child, man! A kid!" Edward shouted as he began to pace and kick at the sand. "Fucking seventeen, eighteen…you're still a fucking kid! You don't know shit about the world! God, I…he beat me for so long, made me think I was nothing for so long that I believed him. But then Bella came along and she was proving him wrong!"
Edward kicked a rock hard and sent it flying into the ocean.
"I was so stupid! I fucking believed him! I let him beat me mentally! I just accepted what he told me that day! That Bella didn't really love me, that she didn't want to be with me anymore. I just accepted it right? Because coming from his mouth, the fact that he was telling me that no one loved me was true! I believed him, and the proof I misinterpreted, it only supported his claims and I believed him! I was a fool…I didn't know anything other than to believe him. I thought I had lost Bella…I was such a fool…"
Edward trailed off and fell to his knees, gazing out at the water. Eric was immediately crouching down at his side.
"Dude? Edward?"
Something was solidifying in Edward's brain and heart, and he knew it was acceptance. It was what he needed to be able to move forward with his life.
"It wasn't my fault," Edward whispered.
"What?"
"It wasn't my fault," he repeated louder. "It wasn't my fault, it wasn't Bella's fault, or my mother's…it was all his fault! It was Ed Masen's fault!"
With his acceptance and revelation, Edward turned to look at Eric.
"It wasn't Bella's fault, and it wasn't my fault either."
Eric nodded and gave his friend a small smile, clapping him on the shoulder.
"I like hearing you say that, brah."
Edward nodded and he slowly climbed back to his feet, dusting the sand off his jeans. Eric looked at him, noticing that Edward seemed to have a look in his eye that he had only ever seen when they were out on the waves. It was determination. Eric couldn't help himself. He had to ask.
"So what are you going to do now, brah?"
Edward took a deep breath. "Now…now we go home, and I fight for what I want."
"And what is it that you want?"
Edward couldn't help but smile as he reached into his pocket and wrapped his fingers around the small token Renee Swan had given him. It had belonged to him once, but he had given it to the girl he loved. It was time to get it back to her.
"I want to talk to Bella, and I fucking want her back in my life."
Bella let out a deep breath as she stretched her arms up above her head. Her last session of the day had canceled, leaving Bella about an hour or so before Jacob was done. He had called her last night, asking if she wanted to go out after work, also stating that he would pick her up in the morning to make things easier. Bella agreed. She had some things she wanted to talk to Jacob about, and dinner seemed like a good a place as any to do so.
Since she had some free time on her hands, Bella decided to head to the front of the office to the waiting area and see who else was around. Eli had been in the office more often since he wasn't doing much with the university at the moment, and Emmett, Jasper, and Jacob were all working with clients. Bella had been on her own working with her own set of clients for a while now, but she still missed having Jasper or Seth around. The only people who hadn't been around too much were Seth and Bree. Both of them were participating on their high school's track and field team, and were busy after school. To Bella's surprise however, Seth was sitting at the front desk of the office, with a bouquet of purple flowers on the desk in front of him.
"Hey, kiddo," Bella said with a smile. "You get those for Bree?"
Seth grinned. "Nope. They're for you."
Bella's brow furrowed. "Who are they from?"
"From me."
A gasp of shock squeaked out from between Bella's lips and her skin broke out into goose bumps at the sound of his voice. He looked better than the last time she had seen him. His face was clean shaven, and his eyes were a little brighter. Bella scoffed at herself internally. Of course he looks better than the last time you saw him, moron! Bella hadn't seen him since they had talked about that fateful day in Forks that had caused them both so much pain. She had asked him for some time, and he had given it to her. Apparently that time was over though.
Bella remained silent as Edward stood up slowly and walked to the desk where Seth offered Edward the bouquet of flowers before he disappeared back behind the doors that led to the offices. He gave both Bella and Edward a grin that seemed to say, "good luck" before he disappeared.
Edward cleared his throat before he offered the flowers to Bella. "These are for you."
"Thank you," Bella said quietly, taking the beautiful purple flowers. "They're lovely. What kind of flower are they?"
Bella didn't want to be rude, but she was a little nervous about Edward being here and giving her flowers. Ever since Mike had given Bella the white roses, Bella had gotten into the habit of looking up the meaning behind flowers. She was pretty sure that Edward had used flowers to convey his feelings before. Against her better judgment, she had looked up the flowers that she remembered Edward giving her when they were younger. They all spoke of different types of love and adoration. So now, Bella couldn't help but wonder what these purple flowers meant.
"They're purple hyacinths," Edward replied with a small smile. He had a feeling he knew why Bella was asking, but if she really wanted to know what the flowers meant, she was going to have to ask.
"Ah…well, thank you, Edward. They're beautiful."
Bella made the mental note to look up purple hyacinths as soon as she possibly could. Her throat suddenly felt dry, and she didn't know what to say next. Luckily, Edward saved her that trouble.
"Do you, uh…have any more appointments today?" he asked, shifting back and forth on his feet.
"How's your knee?" Bella asked, wondering if it was bothering him and that was why he was shifting his weight around.
Edward chuckled. "It's doing good. Feeling pretty good. You didn't answer my question though."
"Oh…" Bella replied, feeling her cheeks heat a little in embarrassment. "No, I don't have any more appointments. I, uh, caught a ride with Jacob today so I have to wait for him to finish up."
Bella wasn't sure, but she could've sworn she saw Edward's jaw clench in anger, but it was gone before she could blink, and a small smile was on his lips now instead.
"I…I know you asked for some time, but I was, uh, hoping that maybe we could talk?"
Though Bella was nervous about talking to Edward again, she couldn't deny that she was curious about what he wanted to talk about. After all, according to Jasper, Edward had been in Forks the past couple of days, and after a phone call from her mother, she knew that Edward had been to see her at the Inn. Her mom wouldn't tell her what they talked about, but she wanted Bella to know that she had talked to Edward.
"Um…sure. We could, uh, we can talk in the conference room again? Is that okay?"
"That would be great, Bella."
As Bella opened the door that led back to the offices, she saw that Seth was standing in the hallway typing out something on his phone. He quickly stuffed it in his pocket when he saw Edward and Bella standing there.
" 'Sup, guys…I'll, uh, I'll head back out front," Seth said with a grin. He fist bumped Edward as he passed and went back out to the front desk. Bella couldn't help but smile at their exchange.
"He's a good kid," Edward commented as he followed Bella into the conference room.
"He really is," Bella agreed. "He's so…so carefree and happy, you know?"
"Yeah," Edward answered quietly. He couldn't help but think of all the times he had thought the same thing, and envied Seth for that.
Bella noticed the frown on Edward's face as she turned to take a seat in one of the chairs in the conference room.
"Are you all right, Edward?"
The sound of Bella's voice shook Edward from a "what if" daydream and he joined Bella in the present. After his days in Forks, he was now determined to not think of the "what ifs" anymore, since there was nothing he could do about the past. He could only move forward, and he hoped Bella would give him the chance.
"Fine," Edward said before clearing his throat and repeating himself. "Fine."
The two were silent in their chairs, again unsure of how to start their conversation. Bella was chewing away at her bottom lip and picking at her fingernails while Edward was nervously running his hands through his hair. Bella finally took a deep breath and spoke first. She decided it was the least she could do since Edward took the first step of coming to talk to her.
"Jasper told me you went to Forks."
Edward's head snapped towards Bella, his eyes locking with hers.
"My, uh…my mom called me to tell me too," Bella whispered, her face suddenly feeling hot.
Edward swallowed heavily, but nodded his head.
"I…my roommate and I went to Forks last week. After our talk I just…I felt like I had to go back. I needed to go back. I needed answers to more of my questions, and I…I didn't want to upset you even more by making you relive more of that shit."
Bella didn't know what to quite say in response to that, but Edward kept on talking, keeping her from saying anything.
"I also needed…I needed to go back and apologize," Edward said, jumping up to his feet and starting to pace around the room. "I needed to go back and apologize to your parents, and if they were willing, ask that they answer some of my questions."
Bella couldn't help but snort then. She could only think of her father and how she had overheard him numerous times ranting about how he couldn't wait to get his hands on Edward and pummel him for hurting his baby girl. Seeing as Edward appeared to be bruise free- thank God, because Bella never wanted to see him like that again –she assumed her father didn't make good on those threats.
"You actually talked to my father?" She asked. "I mean, Mom told me you talked to her, but did you talk to my dad too?"
Edward chuckled quietly. "No…no, your dad tried to kick my ass."
Bella gasped, but Edward placated her quickly.
"Your mother didn't even let him get close to me. He stormed off, and I didn't see him again while I was in Forks."
"Mom left that part out…" Bella muttered under her breath. She was definitely going to call her father later and hear his side of the story.
"Yeah, well, I didn't expect your mom to come to my rescue either. I figured she would be just as mad as your dad about everything that I did."
Bella sighed. "My mother doesn't hate you, Edward."
It had been difficult for Bella to accept at first, but she also knew that this was just her mother's nature. Renee Swan cared for anyone who came her way that needed it. That was what made her so good at running the Inn.
"Yeah…she, uh, she hired my mom to work at the Inn."
Bella nodded. "Yeah…she's been working there for a while now."
"I actually talked to your mom at the Inn. Jesus, I can't believe that woman even remembers how I used to take my coffee."
"I told you…she likes to take care of people."
Edward chuckled. "Yeah…I guess she does."
"So…so what did the two of you talk about?" Bella asked, trying to keep her voice light, but some of her nervousness was coming through.
"The…the first question she asked me was why I never came back to Forks."
Bella's breath caught in her throat. That was what she wanted to know too. Even after their first conversation, Bella still felt like she wasn't satisfied where that question was concerned. She looked up at Edward, finding that his green eyes were gazing into hers with such sadness and pain. She swallowed heavily, attempting to keep the prickling in her eyes from becoming tears.
"God, Bella…it's not an excuse or anything, this is…this is the truth all right? I was young, I was young and stupid and naïve. The hateful words and everything my father spit at me…I just believed him. He had beaten me down for so long, mentally and physically. It was only a matter of time before he defeated me. I think he was looking for a way all that time, and he found it in you. You came along, and you were the best thing to ever happen in my life. You gave me strength, but you could take it away too and he knew it and didn't hesitate to use it against me while he had the chance. That's what happened that day. I didn't know about you guys getting your house painted, and my crazy father somehow did. It was just everything that he said that day, and the evidence of your house being empty…I believed him. It was the biggest mistake of my life."
Edward's voice was barely above a whisper when he had said those last words, and his head was hanging down, looking at the floor.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. So, so sorry…more than I can even say with words."
Bella didn't know what to say, but she let his words set in. She knew that the abuse he suffered from his father was extensive, and he had never really gotten any help or anything for it. He'd never talked to anyone about it while they were teenagers, and she had a feeling he still hadn't talked to anyone about it, but Jasper said he was working on himself, so she hoped that meant talking about his past too.
She had done a lot of thinking in that past few days. Everything that she had learned, and Edward's words just now, made her realize that her anger towards him wasn't exactly misplaced, but the events of what happened that day set everything else into motion. The person that deserved all of her anger was Ed Masen, Senior. Everything that had happened was because of things he had done. If he hadn't beat Edward, if he hadn't been so determined to hurt his own son, Edward never would've felt like he had no other option but to run, and Bella never would've felt like she had to go with him. If Ed Masen hadn't been so messed up, Bella and Edward could've had a happy life together. They could've been together all of this time. Ed Masen made Edward believe that Bella hadn't wanted him, and took advantage of Edward's temper and Bella's alibi. It wasn't her fault, nor was it Edward's. It was all Ed Masen, Senior's fault.
"It's okay, Edward," Bella said quietly. "I…I forgive you. It wasn't your fault."
"You…you forgive me?" Edward asked, completely shocked.
Bella nodded slowly. "I…I've had a lot of time to think since we talked last. We both went through so much hurt and pain. We were both so angry at each other, and everything was just a misunderstanding. It was your father's fault."
Edward clenched his eyes shut. Bella's words were more than he even dared to hope for. She forgave him. She didn't blame him. It was his father's fault. She agreed with him.
"You forgive me?" Edward asked again, needing to make sure.
"Only if you forgive me for how I've treated you all this time," Bella said quietly. Looking back, knowing everything she knew now, she felt bad about how she had treated Edward the first time she saw him.
"I forgive you. I…God, I forgive you, Bella."
"Okay," Bella whispered. She didn't know what else to say.
Neither of them knew what to say now. They had both said that they had forgiven the other, but now what? Edward knew what he wanted. He wanted to get to know Bella Swan again. He wanted her to be a part of his life again. While he knew that she was no doubt different from the teenager he once knew, he had no doubt that she would still make him smile and laugh like she used to. What he didn't know was that Bella was having similar thoughts. She wasn't sure that she and Edward could ever be the way they were before, but she wanted to get to know him again. She wanted to hear about all of the traveling he did, and about his life as a professional surfer. She wanted to be kept in the know when it came to his knee rehabilitation, and she wanted to see him smile again.
Glancing at a discarded newspaper on the conference room table, Edward couldn't help but grin as he spotted his new conversation starter with Bella.
"So, have you watched it yet?" he asked.
"Hm? Watched what?" Bella asked, completely confused by his question.
"Titanic in three-D. It's playing in theatres again. It was like, your favorite movie of all time when we were teenagers."
"Oh…" Bella said, blushing at the thought that Edward remembered that was still one of her favorites. "It still is. One of my favorites I mean."
Edward couldn't help but chuckle. "I never understood why you liked it so much. I mean, Jack died. They didn't even end up together."
"Edward…" Bella huffed, rolling her eyes the same way she had when she was sixteen and made him watch it for the first time. He had made the same complaint then.
"And come on, Bella. You can't tell me that there wasn't room for two on that door or whatever that Rose was floating on. Jack totally could've fit."
Bella looked at Edward, completely serious and ready to give him a piece of her mind and defend her beloved movie, but when she saw that Edward was containing his laughter, she burst out into giggles.
"You made the same argument the first time I made you watch it," Bella managed to get out between chuckles.
"Yeah, well, I guess some things never change," Edward said in response. God, it had felt so good to hear Bella laughing, and it had felt good to be laughing with her. Edward didn't want it to end.
As Bella shook her head, smiling to herself, Edward had the words right on the tip of his tongue. Just as he was about to ask Bella if she wanted to watch the movie with him in theatres some time, the door to the conference room opened up, and Jacob Black was standing there. He didn't have a smile on his face as he glared at Edward, but he quickly replaced that with a smile when Bella turned to look at him.
"Oh, Jacob! Are you all done?" Bella asked, her cheeks still flushed from laughing.
"Yeah, you ready to go get dinner, babe?" He asked, now keeping his eyes on Edward.
Edward knew a challenge when he saw one, and he couldn't help but smirk right back at Jacob.
"Oh, um, sure," Bella replied, completely oblivious the pissing match that was obviously going on between the two men. "Let me go get my stuff."
As Bella made to leave, Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. She let out a surprised squeak, but didn't say anything to Jacob. She turned to look at Edward, who now had a scowl on his face, but it softened when he saw that Bella was looking at him.
"I'm glad we talked, Edward," Bella said softly.
"Me too," Edward replied. "Maybe…maybe we can talk again soon?"
Bella simply nodded as she felt Jacob tense at her side. She tried to keep her cool. She had a lot that she wanted to talk to Jacob about at dinner later.
"See you later, Edward," Bella said as she turned to leave the room.
"Bella, don't forget your flowers," Edward called out. His smile widened when he saw the look of anger and jealousy that crossed over Jacob's face.
"Oh!" Bella cried out, rushing back over to get them. "Sorry! Thank you so much again, Edward! They're beautiful."
"By the way, they're purple hyacinths."
Edward simply smiled after his subtle reminder to Bella to look up the meaning of the flowers. Bella glanced back at him, giving him smile of acknowledgement before disappearing to get her things. Jacob remained in the doorway and Edward knew he was just waiting for a chance to get Edward alone again. He tried not to roll his eyes as Jacob marched over and got into Edward's space, pointing one of his fingers up at his face.
"Stay away from her, Masen!" Jacob spat.
"Get your fucking finger out of my face," Edward growled.
"This is your last warning, Masen. Back off."
"Or what?" Edward taunted.
"Or you'll be sorry."
Edward didn't say anything in response. He just smirked and tried not to burst out laughing at Jacob's cliché threats. It would only be a matter of time before Bella saw Jacob for the douche bag that he was. Edward knew things would be slow with Bella, but he could wait. He would wait for her forever if he had to.
Bella didn't see Edward leave, and he was gone by the time she met Jacob back in the front of the office. Jacob didn't say anything about the flowers, but Bella saw him eye them with disdain. She did all she could to not roll her eyes. That was part of what she wanted to talk to with Jacob about at dinner. He obviously had a jealous streak, and that was something she didn't like. They were silent in the car ride to the restaurant, and Bella was suddenly wishing that she had driven herself.
To distract herself from thinking negative things about how her conversation with Jacob was going to go tonight, she pulled out her phone and decided to Google the meaning of the flowers Edward had given her. She typed in "purple hyacinths meaning" into her favorite search engine and waited, silently thanking whoever created the smart phone. In seconds, the results were on her screen and she clicked on the first link.
"Hyacinth (purple) = Sorry, Please forgive me"
Bella smiled and put her cell phone back in her pocket. Her fingertips reached down and softly stroked the delicate purple petals. She might have a big talk with Jacob Black planned for their dinner in a few minutes, but Bella was smiling because she was certain that she had already forgiven Edward Masen, and she was excited to see where they would go from there.
Well? Yes? No? I wonder what Bella and Jacob are going to talk about…and hey! Bella and Edward talked! That's what we wanted right? Who's excited to see where we go from here? I know I am :-D
All right, fic rec for you all! I love this story something fierce and it absolutely cracks me up so much that I have to read it in private so I don't attract attention with my hysterical laughter. I swear to God, I almost fell off my chair reading the last update, it was that funny. "Quickie Mart Cupid" by prettykittyartist. You won't be sorry, I promise :-)
http : / /www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7834639/1/
All righty, well, I have Chapter 14 started, but I make no promises about when it'll be posted. Can't wait to hear what you guys think, good or bad, pretty please? Hope to update soon! :-)