Hi everyone, it's been a while! Have a monster chapter as a welcome back present. This is currently the longest chapter in the fic (and likely to stay that way), at just over 10k words.

As always, thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story since I last posted. I know it may not seem like it, given my update pace over the past year, but they really do help me write faster. c:

Chapter 14 – Work and Play

"I told you to come get me before you went to the museum!"

"We were just going to take a quick look," Luffy said. "We weren't going to do anything without you."

"You can say that, but if you'd gotten in, and the fruit was there—"

"Don't worry about it," Usopp said. "At least now we know that we have to do something different for Zoro."

"Like what?" Zoro asked. "You still haven't told me what this plan of yours is."

Usopp held up a finger. "Patience! You gotta have a break first, because you'll have to stay solid the whole time once we get started. No running off to the bathroom for a few minutes in the middle of things."

Usopp lasted almost two hours before finally caving to the pressure of Zoro's suspicious glares.

"All right!" He waved his arms, catching everyone's attention. "It's time to put Plan M into action!"

"Why is it called Plan M?" Chopper asked.

Zoro frowned. "And what happened to plans C through L?"

Nami's mouth twitched in a way Zoro didn't like. "Oh, we're going to use that, are we?"

"This does seem to be the perfect opportunity to test it," Robin said.

"Of course!" Usopp said. "This situation is tailor-made for my awesome skills."

No, Zoro definitely didn't like the way those three were looking at him. "Test what? Damn it, I'm not your guinea pig!"

"No." Nami smirked. "You're his canvas."

"His what?"

Usopp grinned smugly. "I'm going to paint your face to look like solid skin."

Zoro blinked. "...Huh. Are you serious?"

"Of course." Usopp puffed out his chest. "Leave it to me! Plan Makeup is foolproof! That guy at the museum will never notice the difference."

"Upstairs," Nami directed. "Robin and I have everything we need in our quarters."

Usopp reached for Zoro's back, but his hand slid through translucent flesh. He shivered and directed a pointed look in Zoro's direction. Zoro dropped into solidity and allowed Usopp to push him toward the bathroom.

"How long have you three been planning this?" Zoro asked.

"Oh, for a while," Nami said. "I think it first came up when Usopp mentioned how nice it would be if the old can-of-paint-on-the-invisible-person trick would work on you."

Zoro stopped. Usopp was spared a collision, instead walking right through him as Zoro became intangible once more.

"Don't do that!" Usopp rubbed his arms. "It's creepy!"

"I don't like it either," Zoro muttered. He looked at Nami. "I think they might notice if I walk in there covered in paint."

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously we're not going to just dump paint on you. Between the three of us, it shouldn't take long to do a realistic-looking makeup job." She grinned at him. "Maybe we'll even have time to add a touch of glitter."

"I thought the point was to not stand out."

"Exactly," Robin said. "If any of your glow makes it through the makeup, people will dismiss it as sparkles from the glitter."

He supposed that made sense. "Just don't go overboard," he said. "I need to look like a human, not a disco ball."

"I don't know about that," Nami said. "We could use you to distract everyone while we grab the fruit." She attempted to catch Zoro's wrist, and huffed impatiently as her hand passed through him. "Anyway, we're wasting time. Luffy!" She pointed to Zoro. "Tell him he has to stay solid for us."

Luffy grinned. "All right! Okay, Zoro? Captain's orders! You have to let 'em touch you. It's okay, I'm sure they'll do it right."

"Oi, Luffy, don't make it sound like—"

"No need to worry, Zoro." Robin smiled at him. "This isn't our first time."

"That makes it sound worse!" Usopp yelled. "Look, Zoro, trust us, okay? I promise we'll make you look like yourself. Well, not too much like yourself, I guess, or they'll recognize you, but—"

"Fine." Zoro rubbed his forehead. "Let's get this over with. But I swear, if you start doing me up in rainbow stripes or something—"

Usopp held up his hands. "I wouldn't dream of it!"

Zoro held his gaze a moment longer in warning, then nodded and disappeared from the deck.

The disguise was finished remarkably quickly, with only one minor setback when Luffy tried to convince Usopp to make Zoro look like a clown. Zoro was grateful Sanji had remained outside.

Usopp pronounced the job done, and Zoro turned to look at himself in the mirror. They had given him a black wig rather than try to paint over his hair, the locks straight and a little longer than he was used to. Most of his body was still transparent, waiting to be covered by the clothes. His face, though...

Zoro lifted a hand to his cheek. His skin looked...warm. Solid. He leaned closer to the mirror. Even knowing it wasn't real, he could hardly believe it was just makeup. Unless he looked at his eye. The small spot of translucency in the middle of his solid-looking skin stood out like a full moon in the night sky. Zoro reached for the sunglasses Nami had placed on top of his clothes, sliding them on and completing the disguise.

"Perfect!" Usopp clapped him on the shoulder. "You're lucky you had someone as talented as me here. Just don't open your mouth too wide, and they won't notice a thing."

Zoro felt the blond employee studied him for longer than was strictly necessary, but the disguise must have passed, because all he said, as he handed Robin the tickets, was: "Enjoy the museum."

There had been some discussion over who would stay with the ship. Naturally, they all wanted to see the museum, but leaving Sunny unguarded wasn't a good idea, especially on an island where there was even a small chance someone might be looking for them. They had drawn straws for it in the end. Brook had accepted his fate with good grace, but Chopper had nearly cried when he got the other. They had promised him that if the museum wasn't a horrible trap, he would get to see it the next day. They also promised to bring him a dessert from the cafe.

If their experience at the theme park was any indication, they could easily have spent the rest of the day at the museum. With Zoro's time limit in mind, they intended to find the fruit as quickly as possible, but the moment they stepped inside, Zoro knew it would take some time just to get past the atrium. It was a beautiful room—spacious, with elegant stone columns soaring up to support a domed glass roof high above. The walls contained a series of seascape reliefs, with carved ships—both familiar and unknown—lit up by sunlight as they rode the stone waves. Lush greenery filled the room, along with the expected fountains. Double curving staircases led up to the next floor, with an array of pirate and World Government flags hanging above them.

But none of that would have kept them there for long, even if it would have been fun to see how many of the ships they could recognize. The reason for the delay—the reason Luffy was standing slack-jawed just inside the entrance—was located in the very center of the room.

"That's...that's..." Luffy's face seemed to be nothing but eyes—eyes and the mouth that opened and closed as he tried to speak.

"Oh my god," Nami said in a strangled whisper.

"That's bronze, isn't it." Usopp said. It wasn't a question.

The Straw Hats stood there, staring at the statue of their captain, as tourists flowed around them with happy chatter.

It was a good likeness. Proud and heroic and maybe missing a little of the carefree cheerfulness they knew so well, but still unmistakably Luffy. The sculptor had put him in an elaborate captain's coat, though it was open in the front and a pair of shorts and the edge of a cardigan could be seen underneath. The statue wore sandals as well, and the iconic straw hat rested firmly on its head, gleaming softly in the bright sun.

Zoro laughed, breaking their small pocket of silence, and whatever spell had been holding them in place ended with it. Luffy ran forward, laughing too, his eyes shining with excitement as he pointed at his giant bronze doppelganger.

"Look! It's so big!" Luffy scrambled onto the statue's pedestal. Even stretching his arms as far as they would go, he barely reached the giant bronze knee. "They made me look awesome!" He slapped a hand to the statue's leg as his crew approached. "I want it! Let's take this with us, too."

"Luffy…" Nami stifled a giggle as she looked up at him. "It'd never fit on the ship, even if we could get it out of here."

Luffy pouted a little. "But—"

"Why don't you let these people look after it for you?" Robin suggested. "It's been safe here for a long time. We can always return for it later, after we accomplish our goals."

"And get a bigger ship," Usopp said under his breath.

"Yeah," Sanji said. "Besides, I bet a lot of kids come to see it. They'd be disappointed if they came all this way and it was gone."

Luffy rubbed his chin. "…Okay. I guess it can stay here. For now."

"Excuse me!" A woman in glasses came hurrying over. She wore a name tag and a replica marine uniform; obviously part of the museum's staff. "Young man, that statue is not one of the interactive exhibits. Please get down."

Luffy scowled at her. "I don't want to."

The woman's eyes narrowed. "Young man, we really can't have you climbing around up there. If you cannot follow our rules, you and your friends will have to leave the museum."

"I'm so sorry!" Nami hastened to intervene. "He's just very excited. We've been looking forward to visiting this museum for such a long time." She looked up at the statue. "Lu—" She broke off abruptly, eyes flicking back to the employee for a fraction of a second. "Uh, look, I know the statue is exciting, but don't you want to check out all the other great stuff they've got here? You wouldn't want to leave without seeing that new exhibit they just opened, right?"

Luffy bit his lip. "Oh. Right." Giving the bronze leg a final pat, he hopped off the pedestal. "Okay! Let's go see the rest!"

As soon as they moved away from the statue, the woman pulled out a cloth and began wiping at the areas Luffy had touched. Zoro gave a mental eyeroll as he followed Luffy up the stairs

"We should have thought about names," Nami muttered as soon as they were through the doors. "How could I forget something so important? Even if Luffy didn't remember them all, we should still have come up with fake names. We can't go around calling out 'Luffy' or 'Zoro' in a place like this."

"Why not?" Franky asked. "We're famous, right? There are bound to be a few people around whose parents named them after one of us."

"That might work for one or two of us," Nami conceded. "But seven? And it would still draw attention—which we don't want, in case you've forgotten."

"Then let's try to think of some while we explore the museum," Robin said.

It was a good suggestion, but there were far too many things to look at to spend much time brainstorming names. The interactive exhibits were the most fun. There was a life-sized pirate ship that visitors could explore and see how things had been "in the old days". Given that sailing hadn't really changed that much in the past 400 years, it seemed an odd choice of exhibit, but the dozen or so kids climbing over every inch of it didn't seem to mind.

There was a place where you could sample a jelly-like substance that was supposed to mimic the taste of a devil fruit (Luffy and Robin both agreed that it wasn't even close to the same level of disgusting).

They had a range of simulators, each claiming to let you try a different devil fruit power. Luffy thoroughly enjoyed them all, though after experiencing their idea of the Gomu-Gomu no Mi, he had some doubts about how realistic the others were.

The second floor held a small row of theaters. The first was showing a documentary. The information covered was basic and mostly accurate; consequently, it didn't take long for Luffy to get bored and wander off. The next one they tried was about Shanks and Buggy, and was clearly fiction. It painted a touching story of two brothers, one a stern and terrifying pirate, the other cheerful and carefree, forced to put aside their close bond and fight each other when a tragic love led the latter to fall in with the Marines. Within a few minutes, Luffy was asked to leave the theater because his laughter was disturbing the other guests.

And of course, there were all sorts of artifacts, including such things as tattered flags, weapons, ancient newspapers and bounty posters, and even a chipped sake cup that claimed to have belonged to Shanks (Luffy thought it was much too small for something Shanks would have used). Every now and then, though, they came across something they recognized without any help from the label. Like the nodachi resting on a silk-covered display stand. Or the battered red umbrella that stopped Zoro in his tracks.

Some of the fun began to fade as the Straw Hats saw item after item that brought home to them how far in the past it all was. They had never been overly bothered by the idea of fame, but this feeling of having their lives picked apart and examined, their deeds discussed and lectured on—it was different, somehow. They remembered these events, these people, but here, they were simply part of history; things to learn about in school or to be used in children's make-believe. Friends, family, and enemies—and people who were none of those, but had still been there—everyone was long dead and gone. Even the idea that some of them might come back, as Law had, could not prevent a distinctly uncomfortable feeling from settling in, and by the time they at last approached the room holding the devil fruit, even Luffy's excitement had dimmed.

The fruit was easily the most popular exhibit in the museum, and there was a sizable line ahead of them. Luffy's stomach was rumbling long before they finally entered the room and got their first look at the reason they had come to this island.

It wasn't the Gomu-Gomu no Mi. Luffy's heart sank slightly; but then, if the museum had gotten the pirate king's own fruit, they probably wouldn't have kept it secret. They would have made sure everyone knew. At least, that was what Robin had said, and most of the others had agreed. So he had been prepared.

Their trip hadn't been wasted, though. They were still a few rows back from the pedestal, but even from here, Luffy could see enough to know it matched the picture Robin had shown them of the Hana-Hana no Mi. The soft pink fruit almost seemed to glow against the dark purple cushion it rested on.

Luffy turned to look at Robin. She stood rooted to the spot, looking younger than he had ever seen her. The others were watching her, too, and Sanji sidled up to her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Robin-chan…"

Robin shook herself and looked at him. "I'm fine, Sanji." She smiled. "It feels…much more real, seeing it here."

"'Real' is the question, though, isn't it?" Franky said. "They could be trying to trick us with a fake."

"Oh, it's not fake," a cheerful voice said from behind them.

The Straw Hats turned. The girl was about sixteen, with shoulder-length brown hair pulled into pigtails. Her clothes had a definite flavor of "pirate costume", complete with a jingling waist sash and bandana, and a name tag pinned to her striped shirt read "Maya".

She smiled. "We would never deceive our visitors like that. It would kind of ruin the fun of this place, don't you think?"

"I…suppose so," Nami said.

"Is this your first time here?" Maya asked.

Nami nodded. "We just arrived on the island this morning."

"Well, I hope we haven't made a bad impression." She giggled nervously. "Everything's been kinda wild with the new exhibit."

"Oh, no, everything's been fantastic!" Sanji leaped forward, clasping her hands between his. "Especially now that you're here, my lovely angel."

"Oh!" Maya blushed furiously, eyes dropping to the floor. "Um, well, that's—that's good. Um—"

"Honestly, would you please learn the meaning of personal space?" Nami smacked Sanji's hands away. "You're making the poor girl uncomfortable!"

"Oh, no no no! Please don't worry about me." Maya waved her hands in front of her. "I've only been working here a year, but I can handle a few rude customers." She froze as she realized what she'd said. "Um, I mean—I wasn't saying you were rude, any of you! I'm so sorry, sometimes I just say things without thinking, and—" She gave a little bow, surfacing with a sheepish smile on her face. "Um, anyway, if there's anything I can do to help, or if you have any questions or anything, just tell me! My name is Maya, by the way—" She broke off again, looking down at her name tag. "Oh. I guess you knew that already, huh?"

Nami smiled at her and held out a hand. "No, it's fine. Pleased to meet you, Maya, I'm N—" And now it was Nami's turn to stop abruptly, a look of panic flitting across her face.

Names. Even after that tricky moment in the atrium, they still hadn't taken the time to come up with fake names. Luffy bit his lip. He shouldn't have let the museum distract him so much. Nami had said it was important, and as the captain, he should make sure the important stuff got done. Luffy was trying furiously to think of a name—hopefully one that started with "N" and didn't sound too much like a made-up nickname—when Zoro pushed past him with a swish of dark leather.

"Nora." Zoro laid a hand on Nami's shoulder. "This is Nora."

Nami snapped around to stare at him in surprise; then, remembering herself, she forced a hasty smile onto her face and turned back to Maya. "Yes...that's right. I'm sorry, I almost forgot my own name for a second, there!" Her giggle sounded almost normal, if a little higher-pitched than it should have been.

Maya laughed. "I probably would, too, if I didn't have this." She pointed at her tag. "And your friends?"

"Ah…" Nami began—but again, Zoro stepped in smoothly.

:"Loverboy over there is Aubrey," He jerked a thumb at Sanji. "This is Renata"—Zoro waved a hand at Robin—"Francis"—he pointed to Franky—"Oscar"—nodding at Usopp—"and, uh—" He looked at Luffy, suddenly lost.

Luffy understood. Zoro was using names they'd gone by in other lives, but as he'd never seen Luffy during that time, he had nothing else to call him.

"Diego," Luffy said after a moment's hesitation. The name had belonged to some great-great-uncle or other that had done something terribly important for the family business—Luffy had tried to pay attention, but even his love for stories hadn't been able to keep him interested once numbers and politics and rules had gotten involved—and he'd been told more than once that he should be proud of receiving it as a middle name. Though with his memories restored, he suspected that the choice had had more to do with the name's initial letter of "D", courtesy of whatever force had brought them back and given them their original names this time around.

Sanji stepped forward, clapping a hand to Zoro's shoulder. "And this is Casper. Don't be put off by his looks; he's real friendly."

Luffy bit his lip to hold back a snort of laughter. A few spluttering sounds came from Usopp and Franky's direction. Zoro turned to look at Sanji, and Luffy could feel the suspicious glare that was hidden behind Zoro's sunglasses.

Maya hadn't seemed to notice the awkward moments in their introductions. "Nice to meet you!" She smiled. "I'm so glad you decided to visit us. This island is so beautiful, and the museum's just awesome. Have you seen the interactive exhibits yet? Those are my favorites—they're more fun than looking at dusty old relics." She paused, and then her hands were in motion again, as though she could call back the words if she just waved them hard enough. "Ah, I mean, not that the artifacts here are dusty—they're definitely not—or that there's anything wrong with liking them even if they were! I mean, I like them too, it's just—"

"It's okay, we understand." Nami made an admirable attempt at a straight face.

"Anyway, so… Right, the interactive exhibits are really cool, and some of the movies are fun, and… Oh!" Maya fumbled in a pocket. "Have you been to the cafe yet? I have these vouchers I'm supposed to be giving out—I completely forgot!" She pulled out a small stack of cards. "The food's really good. And I'm not just saying that because I work here—ah!"

Maya's fingers slipped on the cards. A few dropped from the pile, and as she snatched at them, the entire stack headed for the floor in a fluttering shower. She lunged forward to try to catch them, and her shiny pirate boots slipped on the first few cards that had landed at her feet. She went down with a shriek—directly on top of Luffy, who had hurried forward at the mention of food and had also attempted to grab the falling vouchers.

"Ouch…" Luffy muttered, rubbing his head as he slowly sat up.

"Sorry!" Maya pulled herself back to a kneeling position. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay? I'm always doing stuff like that—it's why I'm not allowed to work with the artifacts yet, they say I'm too clumsy—Oh my gosh!" Her eyes widened as they focused on Luffy's face.

Luffy heard a quiet gasp from Nami above him. He scooted back from Maya, and his right hand landed on something soft. He looked down. His blond wig was a silky mound on the floor, next to the replica Ace hat.

Luffy's hand shot up to his head, touching his own black hair. From the corner of his eye, he saw his sunglasses lying a short distance from the wig. "Oops," he said. "Um—"

"Oh my gosh, you look just like the pirate king!" Maya squealed, scrambling forward to peer at Luffy closely. She grinned at him. "Awesome cosplay!"

"Uh…thanks!" Luffy said. Maybe he could still get out of this. "We spent a lot of time on it. Um, but it's not finished yet, so—"

"Oh, I knew that." Maya counted off on her fingers. "You still need the scars, that's not the right hat, and personally, if I were dressing up as Luffy, I'd go with the red shirt and blue pants—they're the ones most people would recognize. Ah, not that there's anything wrong with doing an alternate outfit, of course!" she added. "But your face! You'd be hired here instantly with a face that similar!"

"There's a market here for impersonators?" Nami asked.

"Of course!" Maya started collecting the fallen vouchers. "There are regular live performances and events, both here and at the park—plus the cafe, of course. It's not only famous for the food, you know!" She looked up at Nami and paused, then scrambled to her feet. "Wait a minute—" Maya leaned closer, and Nami took a nervous step backward as the girl peered beneath her hat.

"Oh my gosh, you totally look like Nami the Cat Burglar!" Maya removed the hat with a quick tug, and Nami's bright orange hair fell free.

Nami snatched the hat back instantly and began fixing her hair back into place. "It's rude to take other people's things without asking, you know!"

Luffy laughed—really, how could he not, when it was Nami saying something like that—climbed to his feet, and did his best to reassemble his own disguise. The wig was hopeless—he'd never get all his hair tucked under it on his own, without even a mirror to help—but he slid the sunglasses back on, and settled the orange hat as far down on his head as it could go while still allowing him to see.

"I'm sorry!" Maya's face was red. "I wasn't trying to take it! I was just excited and got carried away. I'm so sorry!"

Nami sighed. "Well, I suppose there's no harm done…probably."

"Sorry," Maya repeated. Then her eyes strayed to the others. "But… wow, all of you could pass for Straw Hats, with just a little work. That nose is perfect for Usopp—way better than the guy serving in the cafe now, he has to use a prosthetic!" She swung around. "And you! Some makeup for the eyebrow and change the hairstyle, and you'd be great as Sanji." She laughed a little. "Well, there aren't a lot of good images of him, so people tend not to care what the face looks like as long as one eye's hidden and the eyebrow is swirly."

"Ah…thanks," Sanji managed, directing a murderous glare toward a sniggering Zoro.

"You have to try it! Please? You'd be perfect! Even just for the weekend—it's been so busy this week that they've been hiring a lot of temporary help. I know they'd love you!"

"Ah, well…" Nami hesitated. "It's really been that busy?"

"You have no idea." Maya looked around the packed room. "This is actually one of the slower days we've had since the exhibit opened." She giggled. "Even my brother got roped into helping, and he hates anything to do with the pirate era."

"Well, I'm flattered you think we'd be good at it, and I'm sure we'd all love to help, but…"

"Of course, we'd be happy to help out, at least for a day or two!" Usopp broke in. "Do you think we could start today?"

Maya's face lit up. "Really? That's awesome! Um, you probably could, if they like you. Why don't I take you up to speak with the managers? Let me just call someone to take over for me here real quick. Don't move!" She slipped through the crowd toward the door, pulling out a den den mushi as she went.

"Usopp, what were you thinking?" Nami asked. "We don't have time to be playing dress-up for tourists. I know all this adoration can be exciting, but—"

"I was thinking," Usopp said, "that as part of the staff, we'd have an easier time finding out about this place—security measures, the layout of the building, maybe even get access after hours."

"Oh." Nami blinked. "That's…a good point. I should have thought of that myself. But it would also bring us to their attention. If there is someone behind this…"

"Then perhaps we should split up," Robin suggested. "Usopp's idea is worth pursuing, but there's no need to make ourselves an easier target by all staying in the same area."

"I can't do it, anyway," Zoro said. "I'm going to need to get these off soon." He flicked a hand at his clothes.

"Right," Nami said. "Usopp, this was your idea, so you're staying. I'll stay too; I have a better eye for the kind of stuff that would be useful to know."

"I'm staying, too!" Luffy put a hand up. "I want to try the cafe!"

"Luffy, they'd be hiring us to work, not to eat all their food," Nami said. Luffy turned pleading eyes on her, and she wilted. "Fine. Luffy's staying."

"I'm doing it, too," Sanji said. "I won't leave you alone here, Nami-san. Besides, I want to see if their cooking is really as good as they claim. Got to make sure they're representing the era properly." He grinned.

"Okay," Nami said. "Zoro, you head back to the ship with Robin and Franky and let Brook and Chopper know what's going on. The rest of us"—she smiled at them—"have an interview to pass."

Maya was disappointed to hear that they wouldn't all be staying, but quickly perked back up as she guided them to an office on an upper floor, not far from the cafe. "That's probably where they'll want you," she said. "The cafe's always popular, even when we aren't this busy, and the guy that was supposed to play Sanji today called in sick, so they're a bit short-handed right now."

The interview was brief, mainly consisting of an audition to see how well they could act like themselves. The manager had a few notes on their performances (Luffy was far too childish; Usopp's air wasn't menacing enough; Nami should be sure to choose a sexy outfit and use it), but happily approved their employment and sent them off to Makeup.

Luffy fidgeted in his chair as a girl with blue hair applied makeup to his face, creating a replica of the scar that had once sat below his eye. It was hard holding still so long, and weird to think that they were dressing him up to look like himself. His hand itched to reach for his chest, where the girl had created a disturbingly realistic copy of the scar he'd gotten from Akainu. She'd slapped his hand the last time he'd tried, though, so he gripped the arms of the chair tightly and looked over to see how Sanji was doing.

There had been a bit of an awkward moment when Azolla, the makeup artist assigned to Sanji, had noticed that he was already wearing makeup—makeup that concealed an eyebrow very similar to the one she'd been about to give him. They had managed to smooth things over with a little fast talking, though the employees now seemed to be under the impression that the cook was a descendant of the real Sanji.

"If cooking skill runs in the family, too, they'll never want to let you go," Azolla was saying. "We've had to resort to wigs a few times, because it's harder than you'd think to find blond guys who are decent actors and also cook like professionals."

Nadia, Luffy's blue-haired artist, nodded. "Or sometimes they've made the food in the back kitchens and just told people that 'Sanji' cooked it. They don't like doing that, though; the live cooking exhibitions are really popular. It's part of the reason the job pays so well."

"Don't worry, lovely ladies—my talents in the kitchen are equaled only by your beauty! Come see me later and I'll prepare something special just for you."

"Well, you've certainly got the right attitude." Azolla tucked a strand of green hair behind her ear before leaning in to finish up Sanji's makeup. "Some people like to view Sanji as a sex-crazed pervert, but personally, I think he was probably more like one of those old-fashioned knights, all charming and chivalrous and protecting women and stuff. Now, that kind of thing has its own problems, don't get me wrong. But at least guys like that usually mean well."

"Well, I guess we'll never know for sure," Nadia said. "Unless some archaeologist digs up one of the Straw Hats' diaries or something like that." She flicked a soft brush at Luffy's nose. "All right, kid, you're done. Why don't you head on over to Costuming and join your other friends?"

"Okay." Luffy slid off the stool. "You're almost done, right, Sa—ah, um…Sanji?" He knew the name Zoro had given Sanji had started with an "A", but he didn't remember exactly what it was—and since these people thought Sanji was playing, well, Sanji, he figured it would be okay to use his real name.

"Sure, sure." Sanji waved a hand at him, gesturing toward the door. "I'll be right behind you, after the ladies and I have finished our business." He turned adoring eyes on the two girls.

Luffy sighed. "Don't take too long." He didn't like leaving Sanji alone—especially with women, opponents he wouldn't fight back against if they turned out to be trouble—but he didn't feel anything bad from Nadia and Azolla, and the rest of them would be just in the next room. They could get here almost instantly if anything happened.

Besides, he wanted to see the costumes.

Luffy couldn't decide whether or not he liked Marcel, the little man in charge of costumes. On the one hand, there had been a large sign on the door forbidding all food and drink inside the room—which was followed, once Luffy had entered, by a strict lecture on what he could and could not do involving food while in costume. Also, the man flatly refused to let Luffy to wear any armor, even though there was quite a bit of it along one wall.

But Marcel seemed genuinely excited by Luffy's appearance, and gave him his pick from a rack of outfits that had been deemed suitable for a pirate king. Similar to the statue in the museum's atrium, all the outfits came with captain's coats, lavishly embroidered and gleaming with polished metal. Luffy tried a few on. They would probably be impractical to fight in—the extra weight and fabric made it a little harder to move around—but Luffy thought he looked almost as cool in them as he would have in armor, and he wondered if they'd let him keep one when he left.

He eventually settled on a rich red coat that sported stylized dragons in gold sequins and embroidery. The coat itself came nearly to his knees, and it had an attached cloak that stopped just short of brushing the floor. It wasn't the sort of thing one would normally wear with shorts and sandals, but Luffy decided he looked awesome, and Marcel seemed to agree.

"You're perfect!" Marcel beamed as he led Luffy over to join Usopp and Nami. "We haven't had actors this convincing in years—maybe ever! Why, if I didn't know better, I'd think you really were… Are you quite sure you can't stay longer?" He looked at Nami with pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry." Nami smoothed the skirt of the peach and cream dress she wore. As the manager had requested, it was sexy, though it had avoided crossing the line into skimpy. It hugged the curves of her body before flaring out into a short skirt, shaping and supporting in all the right places, revealing but not overly exposing. Luffy had seen immediately that Nami liked the dress. Usopp seemed happy with his outfit as well, a bold yellow thing only slightly less ostentatious than Luffy's. Maybe they should just ask for the clothes as payment. After all, they weren't doing this for the money.

"We're really only here for a couple of days," Nami said.

"Such a shame," Marcel said with a sigh. "Well, if you change your minds, or if you ever choose to return, my dressing room will be waiting for you."

"You'll be the first to know if we do," Nami assured him.

Sanji entered then, and it was a near thing to keep him from ruining his makeup with a bloody nose once he saw Nami in the dress. After he'd calmed down, he was kitted out in a dark suit, much less showy than Luffy and Usopp's clothes, with only subtle embroidery along the edges and the tops of the pockets.

Marcel explained that there were plainer outfits for the others as well, but that people liked to see a little flash now and then, and the museum was pulling out all the stops this week to go along with the fruit. After promising to come up to see them at work before the museum closed for the day, he turned them back over to Maya—who gushed over them for five minutes straight before finally leading them to the staff entrance of the famous cafe.

Luffy's mouth was watering before they'd even got in the door. It smelled fantastic, and their lunch in the theme park was a half-forgotten memory.

Maya introduced them first to the cafe's manager, then to the other actor staff on duty that day. There were eight, besides themselves. The girls playing Robin and Vivi were quite beautiful, and remarkably close in looks. There was a Kid, who didn't quite manage to appear as fierce as the original; an Aokiji, who was at least two feet too short but otherwise nearly identical; a Zoro and a Mihawk, who were apparently childhood friends and acting much too friendly with each other to fit their characters; a Hancock, who, while lovely, would have paled if set beside the real one; and—Luffy's breath caught.

And an Ace.

If he hadn't known that Ace was… somewhere else, Luffy would have thought that his brother had been reborn, just like Law. As the man drew closer, Luffy decided that his freckles were probably makeup, his eyebrows were too thick, and his nose was centered just a bit differently. But it was startling, how close a match he was.

"Hey, you look awesome," "Ace" said. "So, I guess I get to be your big brother for a couple days, huh?" He grinned at Luffy. "I'd ask your name, but they don't let us use our own names while we're working. Hope you don't mind if I just call you Luffy for now."

"Sure," Luffy said, though he wondered if he'd really be able to call this stranger by his brother's name. Hopefully it wouldn't come up.

After everyone had said hello—and Sanji had been peeled away from the girls—the manager explained what would be expected of them, and they were given their assignments for the day. Nami had dropped some not-so subtle hints that it would be better not to let Luffy wait tables or do any food prep, so he found himself stationed near the entrance as a host. Nami and Usopp were waiting tables. Sanji, of course, was put on cooking duty, at a spacious station right out on the cafe floor. The chef slid into his role with ease, and it wasn't long before he'd been blocked from Luffy's view by a growing crowd. Luffy's stomach rumbled again as the scent of Sanji's cooking hit his nose. He should have insisted on getting something to eat before they started.

"Here."

Luffy turned around, to see "Ace" holding out a plate of food. There was a wedge of pie filled with some sort of green vegetable, a couple of fat, juicy-looking sausages, and a tall glass filled with layers of fruit, ice cream, and pudding.

"I thought you might be hungry," "Ace" said. "I'm not as good as your friend over there, but I know how to make some of the basic stuff off the menu." He extended the plate toward Luffy. "You can sit at that table behind you. I'll watch the door for a few minutes."

Luffy grinned. "Thanks!" He took the plate and sat down. This man might not be his brother, but he was still a nice guy. Not a bad cook, either, he noted as he dug in.

A moment later, "Ace" dropped into a seat across from Luffy, apparently deciding he could keep an eye on the door without actually standing at it. "Did they really just recruit you off the floor?" he asked. "You didn't ask for an interview or anything?"

"Yep!" Luffy said through a mouthful of sausage. "We were looking at the fruit, then Maya fell on me and she got all excited and brought us upstairs."

"Ace" laughed. "That's more fun than my story," he said. "I just came in and asked for an interview." He paused. "Well, actually, I tried to get hired as security first, but they mostly use surveillance den den mushi and computerized systems, so you have to be really good for them to take you on as a human guard." He grinned. "But one of my interviewers mentioned that I looked a lot like Fire Fist, and that I should try to get hired as a character instead. So I did, and here I am." He spread his arms in an expansive gesture.

"Wow, guess you got lucky, huh?" Luffy mentally repeated what the man had just told him. Nami would want to know everything she could about the museum's security.

"Sure did. It's a fun job, and sometimes we get to stage fights for visitors, so my skills don't completely go to waste." He leaned closer to Luffy. "But that fruit's really something, huh? All the staff got to see it the day before the exhibit opened. It was so hard not to tell my friends which one it was when I got home that night."

"Did they let you touch it?" Luffy asked. Maybe they'd let him hold it, and then he'd just keep holding it while he got out of there. Somehow.

"Nah." The man shook his head. "No one got to touch it except the director and the guy that brought it here. It'd be too easy for someone to do something to it. Maybe even steal a piece of the fruit and eat it."

"Would you eat it, if you had a chance?"

"Ace" considered. "Not that one," he said at last. "I suppose there are some fruits I'd be willing to give up my ability to swim for, but I'm not likely to ever see any of them, let alone have a chance to eat 'em, so they might as well not exist for me."

Luffy wondered if the Mera-Mera no Mi stowed on board Sunny would be one of them. At any rate, it didn't sound like working here would really give them better access to the fruit. But he'd found out something, at least. Maybe the others had, too. And if not, well—the food was still good.

Nami wasn't in a good mood as they returned to the ship that night. Her feet were sore, her arms ached from carrying trays of food, and most of Luffy's income for the day had gone to cover the cost of food he had been caught sneaking from the kitchen. All right, so the money wasn't their most important reason for being there—but it still mattered, and there was no need to waste it like that!

They had, at least, been able to find out some useful information about the museum. That didn't help her mood much, though, because she could see two possible ways to break in and steal the fruit without bringing down all the museum's security measures on their heads, and she didn't like either of them. The first would be hard—extremely hard—and very risky. The second would be laughably easy if everything went well—but that was a big if, and it was almost certainly riskier than the first.

Well. If it was going to be risky either way, might as well take a gamble.

"Let's go over it one more time."

"For fuck's sake, Nami, I know the plan!" Zoro hissed.

Nami gave him a dark look. "With you involved, there's no such thing as too much preparation."

Zoro rolled his eye and huffed impatiently. "I go inside, invisible, get to the security office, and shut down the system. Then you walk in, take the fruit, and we leave. Easy."

"Don't jinx it." Nami tucked herself a little lower in the bush. They were crouched beneath a window on the museum's south side, away from the entrances and—if her information was correct—in a blind spot of the surveillance systems. "We've got less than two hours before the guards make a sweep of the building—and the devil fruit room will be one of the first places they check, once they notice something's wrong." She rubbed her forehead. "I can't believe this plan depends on you finding your way somewhere. Quickly. I should have just come alone."

"I'm the one who should have come alone," Zoro retorted. "I could just go to the room and take the fruit myself, you know. No need to wait for you."

"No," she snapped. "If you did it while the security's still up, they'd get a very nice recording of a ghost—who just so happens to look exactly like a famous pirate. And besides, stealing things is my area, remember? The way I'll do it, they won't even know we took it until much later."

"All right, fine. Stop complaining and let me get started already."

"Fine. Remember, the security office is on the fourth floor. That means you go up."

"I know, damn it!"

"On the south side. That's the one we're on now." Nami pointed. "You literally just have to go straight up. Can you please manage that? Somehow?"

Zoro glared. "Just be ready to move once I'm done," he growled. Then he blinked out of sight.

Nami narrowed her eyes. He hadn't tried to teleport into the room, had he? Zoro was fine when he had an anchor—like a direct line of sight, or another person's presence—but without one, he would invariably miss the mark, turning up anywhere from a few dozen feet to a mile or two away from where he meant to go.

Muttering, Nami retreated even further into the bush and began calculating how much time she'd need to bypass the security on the window and do the job herself.

She'd give Zoro half an hour before switching to Option One.

Nami very generously waited an extra fifteen minutes past her appointed time limit before springing to her feet with a quiet snarl.

"It's a straight line," she whispered furiously, pulling out a pouch of tools and easing alongside the window. "You would think he would at least have learned how not to get lost on a straight line after four hundred years!"

When this was over, she decided as she began disabling the window's alarms, she was going to get a big bag of salt, lay down some tracks, and force the idiot to follow a straight path until the lesson sank in.

Fourth floors, Zoro was reasonably sure, were supposed to be above third floors, and below fifth floors, if a building had one. This particular fourth floor, however, didn't seem to want to play by the rules. He was certain it had moved at least three times since he'd starting looking for it. But he'd tracked it down at last, and had even managed to outsmart its attempts to lead him away from the security office by using the human presences he could sense as a guide, reckoning that there would be at least one guard watching the room. (Apparently, several members of the administration staff with offices on the fourth floor had also stayed after hours, but he'd gotten the right room in the end.)

It's easy, Zoro, he mocked, in his best mental imitation of Nami's voice. Just go up, Zoro. Do you know what a straight line is, Zoro? He allowed himself the quietest of scoffs as he slid through the door. He'd like to see her deal with a building that switched things around every time she turned a corner.

There were two guards in the room. One was watching the video feed from the den den mushi; the other tapped industriously at the keyboard of his computer. Zoro moved closer, watching them carefully. At least one of them had to be near some sort of alarm button, and he needed to take them out before they could reach it.

The first guard had a large yellow button on the console in front of him; set apart from the other keys and looking highly conspicuous. But then he spotted a smaller red button on the underside of the second guard's station. Shit, that could be it, too. Or maybe they both were. Or maybe it was another button entirely. He'd have to be very careful, and very fast.

He didn't have his swords, of course, which was annoying, but he still had options—some of them due in part to the curly-brow's information, he admitted grudgingly. Looking around the room for something he could use, his eyes fell on a desk in the corner of the room. In addition to work-related items (another computer, stacks of paper, several gadgets, at least one of which looked like it might be a weapon), the desk's owner had added a few personal touches—including a small bowl filled with colorful marbles. Smirking, Zoro reached out with his mind and lifted two of the largest into the air.

One guard heard the faint clack of glass and turned, but Zoro had already whipped the marbles behind the desk and out of his sight. Shrugging, the guard turned back.

Silently, Zoro brought the marbles forward, lining up his shots, then sent them speeding toward the guards with a fierce mental shove. The glass spheres slammed into the guards' temples, and the men crumpled, neither twitching so much as a finger in the direction of the suspicious buttons.

"Heh." Zoro allowed his smirk to grow wider as he stepped up to the computers. "Easy." He might not have Usopp's sharpshooting ability, but it didn't make a difference at such close range. Being able to affect physical objects without becoming solid was damn useful. He was almost tempted to thank the cook.

Unfortunately, the functions of the computer's keys were no clearer now that he was standing in front of them. Most were labeled with words he didn't know the meaning of. Others were blank, apparently relying on color, shape, or the guards' knowledge to disclose their function.

Well, he wouldn't get anywhere just staring at them. Shifting into solidity, Zoro jabbed experimentally at a light blue key near the center of the panel.

The images on the screens flickered and changed. They still showed the same rooms, but the angles were different, and the colors were off as well. Some sort of heat-based camera, he guessed, rather than the normal video from the den den mushi. That didn't help him.

The next key he tried brought up a map of the museum, with locations of laser grids, security doors, and other protective measures clearly marked. That would have been helpful to Nami earlier, but he needed to shut the things down, not avoid them.

After several more failures—including a particularly alarming one that resulted in music blasting from the room's speakers for several seconds before he found the key again and made it stop—Zoro was running out of patience.

"Turn off, damn it!" he snarled, punching at a black key on the left side of the panel.

The screen in front of him changed, the camera feed replaced by a few lines of text on a black background, informing him he had reached the main operations panel and inviting him to select an option to continue.

Zoro stared at it for several seconds, bewildered. He was sure he was on the right track with this, but he had no clue what he was supposed to do from here. After some trial and error, he managed to choose an option from the menu. He tried the one marked "Security" first—that was what he was supposed to be shutting down, after all.

But the security menu contained at least a dozen more options, none of them helpfully named "Power" or "Shutdown" or anything else obviously useful. The spark of hope that had flared when he found the menu was dying fast, and his irritation began to mount once again.

Then, unbelievably, he found something. It was under the "System" menu, and sounded like a general shutdown of all power in the building rather than just the security, but Zoro figured it was close enough. He clicked.

A fraction of a second later, the computer informed him that he would need IDs and passcodes from two verified members of the security team, as well as the general staff entry code, to carry out that function. The IDs were no great difficulty—the two guards napping on the floor had them pinned to their shirts—but how the hell was he supposed to get the codes?

At that moment, Zoro's patience snapped.

"To hell with this," he growled. There had to be another way. Probably, he should have left one of the guards awake and forced him to do the job. But that would have been tricky to pull off without revealing himself or giving the guard a chance to set off an alarm.

Maybe he should just get to the room himself and remove the fruit via telekinesis. It would certainly look strange on their cameras, but not so overtly damning as making himself visible. But time was running out. There had to be something he could do here, now.

"Damn computers," he muttered, closing his eye. Why couldn't they have stuck with surveillance den dens and regular guards? Then he'd just have had to fight his way through. All this fancy electrical stuff…

His eye snapped open.

Electrical. A voice echoed in the back of his head—Sanji's, speaking in the confident tones of an expert imparting knowledge.

"Ghosts can mess up all kinds of shit when it comes to electricity and technology. Some can literally talk to machines, get 'em to do whatever they want. Some can control electricity like a devil fruit user and do a ton of damage. Mostly it's smaller stuff, though—feedback, triggering an electronic switch, shorting out a computer system, that sort of thing."

Shorting out a computer system, huh? Zoro grinned. Sounds good to me.

But how to do it? He hadn't had a chance to practice yet—he'd promised Franky he wouldn't try it on the ship, and this was the first island they'd arrived at since he'd found out about the ability.

What had the cook said? It was supposed to be related to getting solid—something about drawing power out of the air, wasn't it?

Zoro relaxed into intangibility, then set his hand just above the computer panel, drew energy, and pushed down—

—And his solid hand thumped against the metal.

"Damn."

He tried several more times, with the same result. A wave of frustration washed over him. Why was this so difficult? From the way Sanji had talked, this was an easy thing, like the telekinesis. It wasn't supposed to be difficult or take a lot of power the way becoming solid did.

And Sanji's voice piped up again.

"Manifestation takes a shitload of energy, and most ghosts can't pull anywhere near that much. But you only need a little to mess with technology."

On his next attempt, Zoro tried to restrain his draw of energy, beginning the process but not gathering anywhere near the amount he'd need to become tangible. He felt a slight warmth along his body, and this time, when he stretched his arm toward the computer, there was a fraction of a second's resistance—and then his hand plunged deep into the panel.

A moment later, all the screens went dark.

Grinning, Zoro pulled back his hand. He was just gearing up to congratulate himself when the lights on the control panel flickered. The computer made an unpleasant grinding click—and the silence of the night was broken by the shrill of alarms from across the entire building.

He hadn't shorted out the system. He'd set it off.

Thieving should have its own title, Nami thought. "Queen of Thieves", complete with a story and a legendary treasure, just like the One Piece. "Queen", because after what she'd done in the past hour, she fully believed she deserved the title.

Seriously, disabling no less than six locks and alarms on a window, then making it up three flights of stairs in a building bristling with cameras, surveillance den den mushi, and enough alarms and anti-theft measures to secure a small country—all without being seen—wasn't something just anyone could do. Even for an expert like her, it was hard.

Which was why she had attempted the other plan first.

Which was why Zoro had better run for his afterlife the next time she saw him.

But she was nearly there now. The devil fruit room was on the fourth floor. The security office was here, too, and she debated heading there first, but her current position was closer to the fruit, and she now had a pretty good idea of how she could exit the building unseen after getting it.

Nami crept forward, hugging the wall and ducking at the appropriate places to avoid the roving den dens. The entrance to the room was just ahead. The doors were tightly locked, but there were no guards in sight.

This was the tricky part. She would almost certainly be in the path of at least one camera or den den while she entered the room. This was the only door she could reach from this side of the building, though, and any air vents into the room were far too small to admit her. Maybe she should have brought Chopper.

Well, she'd just have to move quickly and hope whoever was watching the video feed wasn't paying attention—or that Zoro had finally made it to security and taken care of anyone there. Carefully, she eased away from the wall and darted forward, reaching the dubious safety of the shadows beside the doors in a handful of seconds.

The alarms went off just as she turned to inspect the lock.

Professional thief though she might be, Nami jumped at the sudden racket, and she had to work to hold back a yelp. Instinct took over—get away, find somewhere safe, don't get caught—and she scuttled back from the doors, whirling to retreat to someplace less vulnerable.

She hadn't taken five steps when a figure slid from a doorway ahead and blocked her path.

"I'm impressed." The voice was like a river—cool, flowing, but trembling with a hidden current of something more. Excitement? Anger? Fear? She couldn't tell.

The figure stepped forward. The muted lights of the museum's night illumination fell on a head of golden hair, lit up a face that held a thin, calculating smile.

Nami recognized him. "You're the ticket seller that was outside the museum today. What are you doing here?"

He'd set aside the Marine costume. Now, he wore dark gray pants and a close-fitting black jacket with a high collar. A deep red cuff glittered at the top of his left ear like a drop of blood.

The thin smile stretched a fraction further, and his green eyes glinted. "I'm doing the job I was sent here to do," he said. "But who would have thought you'd make it this far? Perhaps you really are…"

Nami swallowed. "I'm what?"

He shook his head. "I don't like to share theories. I prefer solid proof. In any case, you'll be coming with me."

The alarms shut off. The sudden silence did nothing to put her at ease.

Nami's eyes darted to the side, assessing her options. She didn't know what he was capable of, but she knew she could move fast. If she turned and ran, now, maybe she could—

"I suggest you don't try anything," the blond said. "If you attempt to run, I might have to kill you. And I'd prefer not to exercise that option just yet."

No computer courses available for a ghost haunting an island bay. Poor Zoro. ^_^; He tried. I don't think Nami's going to be too happy with him, though…

See you next time, and thanks for reading!