Author's Note: Yay, Chapter 14! We're back with Kurt now, but this chapter is mostly from Declan's perspective. It's pretty intense and it's not where I intended to go when I started this chapter, but you know how that goes. Sometimes the story goes where it wants to and you just have to go along for the ride. Comments and suggestions welcome.

I don't own Glee or Dead Like Me

Chapter 14

Declan had no idea what his problem was. Never could he remember not being able to fall asleep pretty much as soon as his head hit the pillow. Yet, here he was, nearly three o'clock in the morning and completely wide awake.

It was starting to piss him off, actually. In a few short hours he would have to be out of bed and headed over to Maggie's for the daily report meeting and if it was one thing that Declan didn't handle well, it was drowsiness. He so rarely dealt with it, but the few times he could remember, he had been completely out of it, snapping at people, even breaking down in the middle of a reaping on one occasion. That had been the worst, especially since by that time he'd been a reaper for at least half a decade.

Declan was completely wired, but he had no idea why. The day had gone pretty well, considering that Kurt actually made it through his second reaping without losing it completely. The death had been fairly mild compared to the bus accident a few days prior. Kurt was able to stay by Declan for the entire process and this time, he witnessed the send-off, which was a vast improvement from the first time.

Afterward, the two sat down in the lobby of the bus station and talked about the reaping. Declan could tell that Kurt was upset and trying very hard to keep his feelings in check, and his eyes stayed glassy for most of the conversation, but he never let his tears fall. He even smiled once or twice. Declan was proud of him, but something was nagging at him. There was a definite change in the younger boy since he left Maggie's that morning. He could tell something was different in Kurt when he arrived at the coffee shop to pick him up. It was almost like, over the course of a few hours, Kurt had developed a steely resolve, a new outlook or something, and he wasn't going to play the victim anymore.

Under normal circumstances, he would have prided himself in helping Kurt finally start to adjust to his new life, but Declan knew this had to have something to do with his shift at The Lima Bean and the only logical conclusion was that Kurt had somehow interacted with his old life. There was really no other explanation he could think of and it was driving Declan mad.

He knew that he shouldn't have gone along with Kurt's plan to work at the very place he used to hang out, but he really wanted to give Kurt the benefit of the doubt. If this didn't work out, Declan knew his ass was on the line with Sue just as much as Kurt's, if not more since he was a veteran and should have known better.

That's why Declan had taken it upon himself to check up on Kurt several times during his shift that day. Twice, he merely walked by the shop, slowing down enough to spot Kurt and monitor his actions. The third time, he actually went in and sat down at a table close to the door. He wasn't planning on going in, but what he saw during his first two walk-bys intrigued him. Both times, he spotted Kurt near the register, staring in the direction of the back, left-hand corner and hardly moving. And both times, the same customers were sitting at that table, apparently oblivious to Kurt's attention. Declan wasn't necessarily the brightest person in the world, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that at least one of the boys sitting at the small, round table was related to Kurt's life somehow.

On his third trip, Declan made the last minute decision to go in and sit down, after witnessing through the window the same scene from the hour before. He sat for a while, watching Kurt take the occasional coffee order, appearing distracted as ever. After about twenty minutes, the couple at the table began gathering their things and heading for the door.

Declan watched carefully, eyes darting between the boys and Kurt, wanting to see what Kurt's reaction would be. The taller, Asian boy stepped out first and began making his way down the sidewalk, but the shorter boy hesitated in the doorway for a moment before turning around to look at Kurt. Declan tried to read the expression in his face, but before he could think too hard about it, the boy was raising his hand in a slight wave to Kurt. Declan whipped his gaze around to Kurt, who looked stunned for a moment before waving back.

For a few minutes after the boys left, Declan watched as Kurt remained frozen in place. It wasn't until his manager came and snapped her fingers in front of his nose that Kurt finally snapped out of it. Declan took the opportunity to head out while she had his attention and the fact that he had been sitting in the coffee shop for almost a half hour without Kurt even realizing it didn't escape him.

He knew he would have to talk to Kurt about the incident at some point soon, but Declan decided that today wasn't the day to do it, not when Kurt had to deal with another reaping. But when would he be able to do it? Kurt was off from work the next day, but unless it was a light reaping day (which, for some unexplained reason, Sundays never were), there would be another soul to take. Even though he had done very well during the reaping earlier, Declan wasn't quite ready to mess with it by adding a confrontational conversation to the day.

It was at this point that Declan realized he had been thinking about Kurt since his head hit the pillow and he silently cursed the boy for being the root of his insomnia. He tossed over from his left side to his right and with a groan, he saw the digital alarm clock on the bedside table read 4:03. That was it, he wasn't going to get any sleep, not until he talked to Kurt about the whole thing.

He felt somewhat bad for what he was about to do by waking the boy up in the early hours of the morning, but then he remembered that Kurt was the whole reason he was even up this late and his guilt was assuaged. Declan sat up in bed and rolled his neck around a few times before swinging his lower body around and placing his feet on the floor. His eyes adjusting to the dark long before, he didn't bother flipping on the light switch as he stumbled out into the hallway.

As he made his way into the living room, he could see Kurt's form on the couch, body and face highlighted by the light of the street lamp streaming in through the window. It was the first time Declan had seen him sleeping since they met and the sight of him took Declan's breath away for a moment. Kurt looked so peaceful lying there, his features relaxed and a light smile playing on his lips. It was nothing like the furrowed brow and downturned mouth that Kurt seemed to almost constantly wear when he was conscious. He looked almost angelic to Declan, who was frozen in place, observing Kurt. He looked almost…sexy. Declan felt a stirring deep in his stomach as soon as the thought entered his mind. Now he couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt, letting them travel slowly up and down his body, which was covered by a light blanket that draped nicely over his features.

Oh my God, what am I doing? Declan asked himself as he realized he had been staring at Kurt for several minutes. Declan knew that he liked Kurt from the moment he met him, but not like this. He thought of him as a friend, someone to take under his wing and be a trusted confidant, not a romantic interest. It had been a long time since Declan had been involved with anyone and the speed at which his mind was racing through different scenarios involving Kurt scared him.

I gotta get out of here, Declan thought, shaking his head. I can't do this right now. He abandoned his plan to wake Kurt up, hastily turned on his heels to head back to the bedroom and promptly tripped over the oriental rug, landing with a resounding thud against the coffee table. Declan winced as Kurt let out a garbled shriek.

"What the—Declan?" Kurt was sitting up now, wearing a startled look that was quickly transforming into one of confusion. "Is that you? What are you doing?"

"I uh—um, I just came out to get a glass of water," He mumbled, standing up and rubbing his elbow where it landed in the table.

"Via the living room?" Kurt asked, his confused expression now transforming into annoyance. "What time is it? Why are you awake? And how long have you been in here?"

The rate at which Kurt could fly through questions after having just woken up thirty seconds prior astounded Declan. He had no idea where to start or what to say to make Kurt believe he wasn't a creeper, watching him in his sleep.

"It's about four o'clock, I couldn't sleep and about five minutes," Well, so much for making up a believable story, Declan thought. Both a gift and a curse, when Declan was put on the spot, he almost always panicked and came out with the truth, no matter how embarrassing. But at least Kurt was awake now and there was really no reason why Declan couldn't talk to him about what happened the day before.

"Were you watching me?" Kurt asked, his face wrinkling up into an expression that, in any other situation, Declan would have found adorable, but at this exact moment, it was terrifying.

"Yeah, but no…well, yes but, you see—"

"Spit it out, Declan, you interrupted my beauty rest and I'd kinda like to get back to it."

"Okay, listen," Declan began again. He sat back down on the floor, cross-legged. "I need to talk to you about something and I was going to wait, but it was keeping me awake thinking about it, so I came out here so we could talk."

"At four in the morning?" Kurt asked with a defeated sigh. He was sitting up against the couch now.

"Yeah, well, sorry about the timing but it's important," Declan said, rubbing his hands together nervously. He sat there for a few moments watching Kurt and waiting for a response from the boy.

"Well?" Kurt finally said, impatiently. Boy, was Declan acting shifty.

Declan hadn't really planned out what he was going to say, and he now realized that this was a problem. He could feel Kurt's sleepy, yet intense eyes boring into him and he started to panic. "Who was that guy in the coffee shop earlier today?" He finally blurted out.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kurt looked confused, but Declan saw something else flash in his eyes.

"The guy sitting in the corner with his friend," Declan explained. "You were staring at him all morning."

Kurt's jaw dropped before he composed himself. "You were spying on me?" He asked angrily, his lips forming a tight, thin line.

"No Kurt," Declan said, his voice growing a little louder as anger started to stir inside of him as well. "You told me to check up on you. It was part of the deal for not ratting you out to Sue. Remember?" He spoke evenly. Immediately, Kurt's face relaxed slightly and he looked a tiny bit embarrassed.

"Oh yeah," he answered sheepishly. "I just didn't see you come in, that's all. In any case, I still have no idea what you're talking about." Kurt crossed his arms and shifted slightly on the couch. He was such a bad liar.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about?" Declan asked, incredulously. "Is that so? Well, he was about five-seven, five-eight, dark curly hair, with eyebrows that looked like chubby triangles. Any of that ring a bell?"

Kurt was caught and he knew it. Now it was his turn to panic under Declan's stare. After several moments of sputtering, Kurt finally decided on the truth, with a few details left out.

"Fine," Kurt sighed. "He was my best friend, okay? I didn't talk to him at all, aside from taking his coffee order. As far as he knows, I'm Trevor, the new Lima Bean guy and that's all."

Declan watched him squirm for a moment before responding. "There's more you're not telling me. He wasn't just your best friend. You wouldn't have been watching him like that every time I came by if he was just a friend." Declan wondered briefly if he had taken this too far, and from the look on Kurt's face, he most definitely had.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Kurt responded, slowly and quietly with a fury that startled Declan. "Who the hell do you think you are?" This time Kurt jumped up from the couch and stood over Declan, staring down at him with such intensity, that Declan thought Kurt was going to hit him. He scooted backward on the rug before clambering to his feet. Declan was a couple of inches taller than Kurt, but in this moment, he was fairly confident that Kurt could have beat him down if he wanted to.

"Look, Kurt, calm down, I—"

"I will not calm down!" Kurt shouted angrily, stabbing his finger angrily into Declan's chest. The spot burned after Kurt's hand dropped back to his side. "I understand that you were checking up on me per our agreement, but where do you get off trying to dig into my personal business? Who Blaine and I were to each other is absolutely none of your concern."

"Blaine?"

"Don't you say his name!" This time Kurt took both of his hands and shoved Declan back with a strength he wouldn't have known Kurt possessed from looking at him. "You don't get to say his name."

Declan stumbled back from the shove and threw his hands in front of himself, defensively. Both were breathing heavy and eyeing each other, Kurt with a downright murderous stare, and Declan with one of caution.

"You asked me some questions," Declan said slowly and as calmly as his racing heart would let him. "Let me answer them. Can we sit down again?"

Kurt said nothing for several seconds and then finally gave Declan a curt nod. He turned around slowly, keeping his head turned to Declan as he returned to the couch and sat down. Declan felt around for the chair behind him and slid down almost gingerly. He waited a few more seconds before speaking.

"It's my job to look after you," Declan began. He could tell Kurt wanted to respond to that, but to his credit, he kept his mouth shut, waiting for Declan to continue. "I'm just worried that you're going to have a hard time staying out of your past life if you're working at the same place where your ex-boyfriend likes to get his coffee."

"He's not my ex-boyfriend," Kurt said angrily. "We didn't break up, I fucking died."

"You can't look at it that way, Kurt, don't you see?" Declan tried not to sound exasperated, but it was hard with Kurt seemingly hell-bent on going against what Sue had told him about interfering with his past life and with what he promised Declan and Annabel when they agreed to go along with this genius plan. "He can't be anything to you anymore, you're just going to make this more difficult for yourself and I guarantee if you try to get back in his life, even as Trevor, it's going to end very badly for both of you."

Kurt stared at him for several moments until a feeling of understanding washed over him. He smiled bitterly, almost cruelly as he spoke. "I know what this is about. I've figured it out."

It was Declan's turn to be confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You're jealous," Kurt laughed, humorlessly. "You've developed feelings for me and you feel threatened by Blaine. You're fucking jealous."

Declan felt the color rise in his face. Any feelings of like or lust that he had been experiencing earlier flew out the window as he watched Kurt's face transform from a thing of beauty into an ugly sneer. "Oh yeah?" he said, anger bubbling at the back of his throat. "And what makes you think that, huh?

"I've seen the way you look at me," Kurt said, cockily, as he crossed his arms over his chest again and leaned back against the couch. "You're into me and you're mad that I don't feel anything for you." Kurt put emphasis on the 'anything' and despite Declan's anger and disgust with how Kurt was talking to him, he felt a pang in his chest upon hearing that word.

Declan stood up. He walked slowly over to Kurt and bent down so that his face was within inches of Kurt's. "What I feel for you," He said, taking a moment to study Kurt's face from his chin all the way up to his forehead. "Is pity. You're a pathetic child who, through some sort of special hell, I've been forced to babysit. You irritate the shit out of me and I don't give one flying fuck anymore if you want to screw with your precious Blaine's head and completely destroy your afterlife in the process." Declan backed away slowly, watching the look of shock roll over Kurt's face. His mouth hung slightly open, but before he could say anything, Declan spoke again.

"I'm going out," He grabbed his shoes at the front door and shoved his feet inside of them before reaching for the door handle. "The morning meeting is at eight o'clock. I honestly don't care if you're there or not, but one thing is for sure. You better be out of this house by the time I get back from Maggie's. You aren't welcome here anymore." With that, he threw the door wide and slammed it behind him.

Kurt sat frozen on the couch. After a few seconds, he could feel hot tears spilling down his cheeks. Kurt had taken it too far, he had been cruel and he knew it. He knew that Declan was just trying to protect Kurt and he had been bluffing about Declan having feelings for him, but the way he responded to Kurt's accusations, there was no doubt now. Kurt had just ruined the one friendship he had since his death and he was overwhelmed by the strength of the loss he felt the minute that door slammed.

He was wide awake now. Once his tears subsided, Kurt got up from the couch and went to the bathroom to wash his face and gather his few toiletries. He went back to the couch and threw his belongings into his satchel, grabbing a few folded up t-shirts and pants which he kept in the drawer of the coffee table, having used it as a makeshift bureau.

His movements were almost robotic. It was now creeping in on five thirty in the morning, and the sky was starting to lighten a bit. He had no idea where he was going as he laced up his boots and exited the apartment, presumably for the last time.

As he walked around downtown Lima, he tried to think of a plan of action, but kept drawing a blank. Without Declan's friendship and support, he had no idea what he was supposed to do. One thing was for sure, though, he would be getting to that meeting at Maggie's by eight o'clock sharp and maybe, by some miracle, Declan would accept Kurt's apology and request for forgiveness. It was his only hope.