Two Chapters going up tonight! Sorry it's late but its been a LONG travel day for me around the world and back again! Thank you for your patience!
"I'm going to disconnect him from the ventilator." Ducky announced to Gibbs and Anthony more then two hours after Tony had fallen back to sleep. "His breathing is steady now on its own." He reached over to careful detach the actual ventilator tube from the one sewn into Tony's neck. Tony' first breath into the tube made a deep hissing noise as the air passed through the protective valve. Ducky smiled, pleased when they watched quietly for several minutes as Tony continued to breathe regularly on his own. "Very good indeed."
"Jethro," Schmeil announced quietly coming back into the bedroom having set off to find Ziva some time ago. "I have found Ziva in Ari's room, but she is refusing to leave. She said she had a visitor." He looked slightly shaken. "She wouldn't explain any further."
Gibbs immediately stood with heart picking up in speed, "What do you mean she had a visitor?" He asked quickly.
"She said that someone came to visit her, andthat he is now gone." Schmeil was just as baffled and afraid for Ziva having seen her reaction and adamant refusal to leave the space. "She asked that you come to her."
"What about him?" Gibbs asked quickly over to Ducky knowing that he was supposed to be there when Tony woke to calm him.
"He should sleep a few more hours at least, Jethro, given what his body has gone through and the sedation medication wearing off. Go, be with Ziva. We will stay with Anthony." He nodded with a soft smile towards the door and indicated that he, Tony's father and Schmeil would stay with him.
Gibbs hurried quickly out of the room and down the long corridor towards Ari's room. When he entered it was mostly dark except for the small lamp on in the corner and the moonlight coming in from the windows. Ziva sat on the floor beside the bed with legs curled up against her, simply staring at the chair across the room and twirling a white piece of cloth absentmindedly in her hands.
"Ziver?" He asked quietly approaching cautiously as not to scare her seeing the far off look in her eyes. "Are you okay? Schmeil said someone was here."
"I'm fine." She answered as he slid down against the bed to sit on the floor beside her. "I do not know how he got in or knew where I would be… but I had a visitor." Ziva responded still in disbelief and staring at the chair where he sat, pondering the possibilities as well as what this meant.
"Who?" Gibbs asked quietly with heart pounding now to know someone was able to get through her immense security measures and so close they were in the same room without detection.
Ziva didn't respond verbally, only passed over the delicate handkerchief. Gibbs saw the emblom of the golden phoenix immediately. "So someone in the Chain of Command was here?" He asked swallowing hard and finger the delicate stitching. "Did they threaten you in anyway?" He asked already concerned as it were for her safety.
"No," She shook her head softly, "He only wanted to know what I wanted with The Phoenix and how I expected her exactly to help me."
"What did you tell him?" Gibbs asked unsure himself what to ask of this person who he still wasn't sure was real or simply a cover for something else.
"That I did not know exactly how she could help me, only that I have been told she may be able to help with The Council, getting Liat back and helping us to protect our children from whatever they mean to do with them." She began to cry again, wiping quietly at her new falling tears.
"What did he say?" Gibbs asked wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. Ziva lay her head on his shoulder and was happy to take comfort in his embrace.
"Not much actually. Said that we would hear something in the next two weeks and told me not to leave this room or have him followed in anyway or I would forfeit any further help with The Council." She answered sniffling slightly, "So I am staying put as instructed."
"How long ago was this, Ziver?" Gibbs asked wondering how long she had been sitting in this room.
"Three hours ago now, I think." She looked at the clock on the wall.
"How long are you supposed to stay in this room?" Gibbs asked with narrowing eyebrows.
"I don't know." She shook her head, "But given that it's already so late and I don't want to take any chances with that order, I am going to sleep in here tonight." Ziva wiped at another fallen tear, "I cannot sleep beside Tony anyway."
"Have you eaten something?" He asked not willing to put up a fight with her logic when she wasn't going to be able to sleep next to Tony anyway. If she wanted to stay in this room and it made her feel better, he wasn't going to argue but he did want to make sure she ate. Ziva shook her head slightly no, "I will get you something. What else do you want me to bring you in here?" He asked knowing she wasn't willing to leave the room.
"Pajamas and toothbrush. That is all." She smiled softly to him and then leaned back against his shoulder, taking comfort in his taking care of her. "Do you think she can really help us?" She asked quietly after a moment of silence, holding the fabric once more in her hands and thumb grazing over the Firebird emblom.
"Given the vastness of this complex situation we find ourselves in… it only seems fitting that someone named for a mythical creature could be the one to help us." Gibbs smiled softly, nudging her a little trying to get her to smile and laugh softly at their situation. "Ducky took Tony off the ventilator. He's breathing well on his own." He offered as a bit of good news. "One less thing for him to fight against when he awakens."
"I've never seen the fear in his eyes like that before." Ziva answered quietly thinking about Tony's reaction when first waking. "He was absolutely terrified." She never thought that possible before when thinking of her dear, sweet, goofy Tony. She'd seen him angry and hurt over the years but never terrified.
"I have." Gibbs spoke quietly wrapping his other arm around her and hugging her where they sat side by side on the floor, knowing she would need more comfort when speaking of this. "When we watched you get shot on LIVE television. He stood in front of the monitor just frozen with that look in his eyes and it remained there until Malachi informed us you had not made it when we landed. Then it was a look… I hope I never seen again." He added quietly thinking about the absolute devastation and hollowness he saw in Tony's eyes after he thought he'd lost her. "Just give him time to work through his demons, Ziver. He will be okay." He lifted her hand to hold and noticed the deep bruising already forming around her wrist from Tony's vice grip in fear of letting her leave his sight. His fingers gingerly grazed over the bruising and shook his head softly, "Do me a favor please? Do not go back in there without me until he's lucid?" He asked knowing she would likely want to see him again soon and fearing for her safety, knowing she would never strike Tony back now even to stop him from unconsciously hurting her given the way she let him earlier in the evening.
"I won't. Promise." Ziva answered quietly seeing his concern in the way he delicately flipped over her wrist to inspect her arm. She took a deep breath, "I do not know how I will keep sane the next two weeks waiting for an answer as to whether or not The Phoenix will help us. The man only left three hours ago and already I am anxious for the answer."
Gibbs nodded softly in understanding, he was anxious as well, "Try to keep busy concentrating on the good things. Tony." He paused, "And the baby." He added braving the chance to bring it up.
Ziva didn't respond as she thought about what he'd said and silence once more reigned over the room.
"So what did this man look like?" Gibbs asked finally switching topics, knowing her mind needed a distraction.
"Tall, very tall. I would say 6'5". Extremely handsome." She smiled softly thinking about what Tony's reaction would be to seeing the man as he always sized up the competition, "Muscular build with naturally tanned skin and dark eyes and hair. Definitely Polynesian in his bloodline somewhere given his features and his American accent was tinged with Scandinavian sounding vowels. I would say that he grew up somewhere in the Midwest with his pronunciation." Ziva had time to think about what she saw in the man and analyzed everything she could. "He was wearing a rather expensive business suit and Italian leather shoes. Honestly, I cannot for the life of me figure out how he was able to get in here, Gibbs. It is very unnerving."
"Yes is it." Gibbs agreed softly.
"And then get out again. All undetected as I never heard anything from my security." Ziva shook her head softly. "I had no idea he was in the room with me and then all of the sudden, I just felt him and the light came on. Like he had realized I knew and announced himself." She swallowed hard now thinking about this man seeing her break down and crying as she had, the way he offered his hand to help her up and gave her his handkerchief to dry her tears. "I am tempted to look at the security footage to see if I can figure out how he got in, but his message warning me not to have him followed is enough to stop me. I cannot afford to lose what may be my only hope because of my curiosity at how he accomplished such a thing. Curiosity killed the cat, yes?" She asked softly pulling back and giving him a small smile to see if she got that idiom right.
Gibbs nodded with a widening smile, "Yes."
"He very easily could have killed me. Honestly." Ziva spoke realizing that was true. The man had caught her completely by surprise and could have shot her dead before she even realized he was there. "I do not understand how my defenses could be so low that he was able to remain undetected and so close for so long. That has never happened to me before in my life save one other time." She sighed thinking about Jonas Cobb getting the jump on her and it was because she had been emotionally compromised then too, believing Ray was in danger.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You've got a lot going on right now." Gibbs gave her shoulder a small jostle with a smile, trying to ease her tension when his own heart started to pound again at the thought of her being in a position where if this man hadn't been a 'friendly' she could have easily been killed. This was why he didn't like her to leave his sight and now felt torn between his two 'kids' who both needed him in some way. He needed to look out for Ziva who was too distracted right now to do so properly on her own, and he needed to be there for Tony who needed his calming presence when waking from a horrific ordeal. Single parenthood, was extremely difficult he decided in this moment feeling incredibly stretched thin.
It took nearly three days of Tony waking and Gibbs calming him down immediately before he began to adjust and realize that he'd been shot and so had Ziva but that both were still alive and okay. That he was unable to speak verbally given the Trach Tube still sewn into his throat, but soon, as long as he was still and rational, Ducky was going to remove it. He had continuously asked for Ziva but Gibbs refused to let him see her while conscious until he was in complete control of himself and mental facilties.
Ducky had explained his injuries and how they had to remove part of his lung but that he was healing well now, he just needed to give it time. He would remain on oxygen for some time given his already badly damaged lung tissue and that Tony had to leave the tube under his nose alone, or Ducky threatened to sew it into place as well. Tony finally, gave them a real smile in response to Ducky's teasing. He'd been given a Dry Erase White Board on which to communicate back to them, given he couldn't speak and once again, asked for Ziva.
"Okay," Gibbs nodded with a small smile after lunch on the third day of waking, "I will got get her."
When Gibbs found her, Ziva was sitting on a lounge chair on the stone veranda surrounding the house and overlooking the sea. Her hair was blowing around in the light breeze and he couldn't help but smile hearing her humming what sounded like a lullaby as she lay her palm over the bare skin of her lower abdomen. She was singing to the baby when she thought no one was watching and it lit up his heart as much as it pained him. She would make a wonderful mother and he only hoped that this would be her chance.
"Hey," He announced himself softly coming to sit down beside her at the end of the lounge chair, squinting in the bright sun and soaking in the warmth of summer. Ziva's skin was already naturally darker and tan given her already olive complexion and she looked like she was glowing. Beautiful, healthy and happy even if she tried hard to hide it, over being pregnant.
"Hi." She smiled back at him. Slowly pulling her hand away from her abdomen and pulling her shirt down once more. She knew he'd already seen her and likely heard her so there was no point in trying to hide it. Instead, she chose to ignore it.
"Tony, is ready to see you. He's lucid enough now to understand what happened and what's going on." Gibbs smiled seeing the light sparkle in her eyes with happiness and the smile stretch across her face to hear this. "He's been furiously pointing to your name on his whiteboard all morning at wanting to see you. Are you ready?"
"Yes." She smiled brightly and accepted his hand as he helped her to stand. Her heart was already beginning to pound in excitement to finally see him in somewhat normal form after nearly a month of either being unconscious or delirious.
Gibbs walked through the door to the bedroom first and when Tony saw Ziva enter just behind him, the biggest smile they had ever seen appeared on Tony's face with instant tears of happiness in his eyes.
Tony was overwhelmed with happiness to see her so beautiful and so alive. His mind had conjured the worst and to know that none of it was real, and that she hadn't died but was standing gloriously before him, was surreal. Ziva seemed to hesitate a moment, unsure if she should approach so he waved her urgently towards him on the bed, eager to touch her and have her close.
"Hello Tony," She smiled coming to sit on the edge of his bed and was immediately engulfed in a tight hug. Both shedding happy tears as they held onto each other once more. "I love you." She pulled back to cup his face with a smile and then leaned in to kiss his lips.
Gibbs gave a slight head nod to the others in the room to step out with him and give them some privacy. They'd earned it and he was sure Ziva was perfectly safe with him now, given how gently Tony touched her as though she were glass and afraid to break her.
Tony's hand reached up and grazed her cheek with the backs of his fingers, realizing just how much time had passed by the nearly healed scar on her cheek. A nearly three inch line sliced across her beautiful face now, fresh and pink against her already dark tanned skin. His thumb gently caressing it as his heart pounded to think of how close he was to losing her again.
"I know. Another ugly scar." Ziva knew exactly what he was thinking with the way he was touching her and the look in his eyes. She smiled softly with new tears to think about the hideious new feature upon her body. "And of course, it would have be on my face."
Tony immediately shook his head with intent eyes, reaching up to hold her face still with both hands, and mouthed 'You are so beautiful. Always.' Bringing a soft smile and chuckle to Ziva's face.
"You are beautiful." She sighed with a smile, reaching up to cup his own face. "I love you so much, Tony." She couldn't get enough now and leaned in once more to kiss him, overjoyed to have him back and conscious again.
Tony kissed her passionately not wanting to let go and then suddenly pulled back, coughing from too much too soon. He smiled at her and then reached for his writingboard. He passed it to Ziva and she laughed out loud reading, "I sound like Darth Vadar." He smiled with his breathing through the trach tube.
"Actually, you do." She nodded with a wide smile, "But I was not going to say anything." Ziva winked at him with a tease and palmed his face again, giving him a chaste kiss this time.
Tony grasped her hand as she pulled it away and saw the new damage. Gently he turned it over looking at both sides. The puckered flesh on the back of her hand where the bullet went through and the massive scars on her palm where he came out again before entering his own chest. He carefully placed her hand over his heart, exactly as it had been the day they were both shot, using his both hands to cover his own before staring deeply into her beautiful big brown eyes. Gibbs and Ducky had told him what happened and what Ziva's hand over his heart had done for him. 'You saved me.' He mouthed slowly with a small smile growing to see the tears welling in her eyes at his gesture. His mind immediately flashing back to that day, remembering not only her hand on his chest, but also the way she had rolled him over and over to take cover, using her own body to shield him. It scared the hell out of him and yet made him extremely proud. 'My ninja.' He mouthed again and then leaned forward to capture her lips this time in a sweet kiss. "Ani ohev otach, Ziva David.' He mouthed slowly so she understood and smiled.
"And I love you, Anthony DiNozzo." She smiled returning the kiss.
Tony slid his hand down her mostly bare arm, inspecting the new damage on her tanned skin and taking note of the scars now on both sides of her upper arm. They looked nearly identical to those Liat now bore and on the same arm even. The thought reminded him instantly of why they were in Israel to begin with and just how much more time had passed that Liat was still held captive. He leaned forward and kissed the puckered flesh from the bullet wound now scarring her arm and reached for his whiteboard again, taking a deep breath that did indeed sound like Darth Vadar.
"Any news on Liat?" He asked writing out his question.
"Kevin contacted us a couple of weeks ago. Said that he'd learned of the deal Illan had struck with The Council. They want Liat and the baby now in exchange for me." She answered really not wanting to talk about this already with him when it had been a happy reunion just moments before. She knew this would only cause him to worry more. "They want to put Liat back into the Elite Assassins program after she has the baby. And I don't know for what purpose, but they want her child."
Tony reached immediately for Ziva's forearms wanting to pull her close and hang on, staring into her eyes with fear and telling her everything he was thinking with the way he was looking at her.
"I am not going in alone, Tony. Not if I can help it." She answered him quietly trying to assure him she was trying to find a solution that didn't get her killed in the process. "We may have found someone to help. We're waiting on word."
'Who?' he asked with narrowing eyebrows, relieved to hear her say she hadn't planned on going in alone after Bodnar but also concerned about who could be willing to help them going up against something so powerful as The Council he was learning.
"They call her The Phoenix. Malachi had said she was merely a myth or legend amongst the agencies but both Director Vance and Kevin are certain she is real. She had success against The Council before and we are hoping she will be willing to help us." Ziva tried to explain in a short version of events. "I do not want to die, Tony." She saw the look of fear still in his eyes that she would try to go it alone if this didn't work out, "I want our future together. Please believe that."
Tony nodded softly seeing how much she loved him in her eyes but also the fear there as well. She didn't know what to do in this situation. He pulled her closer to him once more and wrapped his arms around her back as Ziva snuggled in under his chin. She wanted desperately to tell him about the baby. Share her joys and fears with him but knew now was not the time. He needed a few days to adjust and then, then she would rock his world with the news that still stunned her.
By the end of the week, Tony's trach tube had been removed completely and now he too sported a new scar in the base of his throat. Though his was horizontal in comparison to Ziva's vertical. Ziva had taken to kissing it gently as Tony had always done to hers' as a quiet appreciation and thanks to God for saving their respective lives. They were laying together in the warm sun on a large lounge chair, with Ziva nestled against Tony's side taking in some fresh air and just enjoying being together as Tony recovered when Ziva decided to finally break the news. She'd wrestled with the decision all morning and had finally found the courage to tell him.
"Tony," She spoke with finger absently tracing over the scar on his own chest now, ridged and detectable through his soft cotton shirt. "There is something we need to talk about."
Tony's mind was instantly reeling at hearing her words and the change in her tone. He shifted slightly and wrapped his hand around her wrist of the hand drawing circles over his heart, speaking in a whispered voice as it was still recovering, "Okay…what do we need to talk about?" He asked using one finger to tilt her chin up to look at him, holding her so closely. He couldn't help but smile staring into her gorgeous face. His exotic beauty with her dark eyes, golden sunkissed skin, and the way loose strands of the same sunkissed hair would blow across her eyes inviting him to touch her, just to tuck it behind her ear. Even with being shot and losing part of his lung, he was finding himself falling in love with Israel, just because of simple moments like this.
"They discovered something after we'd been shot. About me." She stumbled with words finding it difficult to tell him just what she wanted to say.
"What?" He asked with heart starting to pound, afraid of what she was trying to tell him given how nervous she was and the unshed tears he saw welling in her eyes.
"Tony, I am pregnant." Ziva spoked quietly unable to stop the small smile forming on her lips to see his mouth fall open slightly in shock and then pure joy light up his eyes.
"You're pregnant?" He asked astonished hearing his heart start thundering in his ears and afraid to breathe, and awake from this dream. Ziva nodded softly still trying to blink back her tears, "When?"
"I do no know the exact time," She shook her head softly with a smile, "But sometime that weekend…our first weekend together. I am just past my 13th Week now."
"We…made a baby…the first weekend we were together?" He asked again in repeated disbelief with a large smile radiating from his features thinking about what a wonderful weekend that was. To make love with Ziva for the first time and how perfect and right it felt. To know now, they had actually made a baby from that most perfect union. "You are having…my…baby?" He couldn't stop smiling and tears filled his eyes when she nodded softly again. "You're having my baby!" He nearly shouted with excitement and bit back a pain in his throat at the force, not caring that it hurt like hell as he was too excited and pulled her face to his kissing her deeply. His dreams were coming true, one by one. The image of Ziva, pregnant with the false belly in that bright yellow shirt taped to his work monitor, rocketed through his mind and he couldn't wait to see her actually so pregnant.
"You are happy?" Ziva asked breathless through tears, knowing he would be and was, but needing to hear him say it.
"Are you crazy? Of course I am happy! I am…terrified at the idea of being a father and…so excited I can't believe I am still in my skin!" He smiled widely peppering her face with kisses, "We made a baby! Our first time out!" He boasted proudly, "We are really having a baby?" He asked again so stunned, and gently cupping the side of her face with a smile.
Ziva nodded again with a tear filled smile, "We are…but, Tony," She began trying to choke back her tears, "Do you remember what I told you? About the damage…from my time in that camp?" She asked him quietly hating to dash his joy.
Tony's smile fell slightly and his posture slumped slightly remembering not only what she had endured but also the damage they had left behind and what she had told him. He nodded softly remembering.
"I am a very High Risk pregnancy right now. They say it is a miracle, I am even still pregnant. There is so much scar tissue on a portion of my uterus," She paused trying to explain without crying, "That the blood flow is not as it should be…and the further into pregnancy I go, the more likely I will be now to have problems. When they first told me I was pregnant…the doctor told me to expect to miscarry at any time."
"But you haven't?" Tony asked immediately, wanting to make sure and feeling his heart already start pounding, this time in fear.
Ziva shook her head, "No, I haven't. Not yet. It does not mean that I will not though." Tears finally slipped down her cheeks, "I am so sorry." She apologized knowing how badly he wanted this baby.
"Hey," He immediately reached for her chin, tilting her face back up to his, "Never apologize for this, Ziva. This is not your doing."
"But I know how badly you want a baby. How much this means to you and I'm so sorry I may not be able to give you what you want." She cried softly staring into his beautiful green eyes.
"You, are what I want, Ziva. Everything else…is icing on the cake of life." He smiled softly at her with tears in his own eyes, "Of course I want to have a baby with you…the woman I love more then anything or anyone on earth…but as long as I have you, I will forever be, a happy man. You are all I need." He tried to reassure her. Given his recent bought of almost losing her again and the nightmares of her death, he was more then content simply having her alive and in his life.
"But you want a baby." She added softly, knowing that he may say she is all he 'needed,' but that didn't stop what he 'wanted.' What she too, had wanted. A baby. Their baby.
"Ziva," He spoke quietly in his raspy voice, staring into her deep dark pooling eyes, "I love you more then words can ever say. I would love it, if we are able to have a baby as it would be more of you…for me to love. But if its not meant to be, then we still have us…and I will never take that for granted."
"I love you too." She cried, "But I want our baby." She admitted her own wants and fears, "I have fallen completely in love with this child already, Tony." She sobbed quietly, "And I'm terrifed to lose it." She shook her head softly, "I had no idea how badly I really wanted a baby…our baby, until I was actually pregnant and now all I want to do is protect them and I do not know how. I feel like I am already failing them with my own body."
"You aren't failing them. We'll take this one day at a time." He ran his hand down the side of her face, "One day at a time." He tried to reassure them both, "We can be excited and scared together. I have to believe every new parent feels something like this." He shrugged with a soft smile and tears still in his eyes. "This baby will be as perfect as you are. I'm sure of it. Strong and stubborn and will not quit. Tough as nails, like their mother." He teased with a loving smile, hoping it was true. That this baby had inherited her spirit and will to survive against all odds.
"They are so perfect, Tony." She smiled unable to stop crying and reached behind her to the book she'd brought down and left on the small table beside them. Flipping back the cover she pulled out the small ultrasound photos that she could barely stop looking at for the past week. "Our beautiful. Perfect. Peanut." She chuckled softly handing them over to Tony.
Tony gasped audibly to hold the images of his child in his hand. Seeing them for the first time and moved to tears with joy and awe. "Beautiful." He whispered unable to take his eyes away from the perfect tiny human now growing inside of the woman he loved and still in disbelief this was actually happening. "Do you know what it is?"
"Human, Tony. I am pretty sure, unless you have something to tell me?" She teased his choice of words as he usually did her trying to break through both of their nerves, feeling torn between joy and anxiety over the future. "Are you part alien? Should I be concerned this baby will explode out of my stomach like in your movie?"
"Very funny, Smarty Pants. I meant, do you know if our baby is of the boy or girl variety?" He asked with a deep smile looking at the image, "They already have their hands up in this one like they're about to spar." He chuckled at the image of the baby with their hands in front of their face. "So will he be a brawler boxer like his dad? Or a mini ninja like her mom?"
Ziva couldn't help but smile to hear Tony speak of such things. "I do not know. I did not want to find out without you."
Tony smiled more widely that she had waited for him, "So when do we get to see them again?" He asked excitedly, looking forward to actually being there for the first time to see his baby with Ziva on an ultrasound.
"Now, if we want. I am due for another ultrasound today. Ducky insists I must have one once weekly due to my condition." She smiled sadly at him. "Do you want to find out the sex of the baby?" She asked not sure if he wanted to be surprised or not.
"I don't know." Tony sat back a little with a goofy smile, actually not knowing, "I am not very good with waiting for surprises, Ziva."
"Neither am I." She shook her head and laughed knowing that was true for both of them, "Not knowing is already making me slightly crazy."
"Then we should find out. We can still keep it a secret from everyone else until the baby is born." He smiled and then knit his eyebrows, "Which by the way, when is this baby due?"
"Sometime around Christmas." Ziva smile and saw the immediately sparkle in Tony's eyes knowing how much he loved the holiday and how much it meant to him as a child. "And do you really think you can keep the sex of our baby a secret for that long?" She asked with a knowing look in her eyes, "You would tease poor, McGee mercilessly about it, unable to not tell him, trying to force him to guess and then tell him anyway." She laughed softly shaking her head, "I have seen it for years, Tony. You are not good with secrets. Well," She paused taking a deep breath and the smile faded slightly thinking about one secret he had kept very well for a long time. Jeanne. "Good secrets anyway."
When she looked away and the smile faded Tony knew exactly what secret she was thinking about, the one that hurt her, Jeanne. "You're right." He tilted her face back up to his with a soft smile, "I can't keep good secrets. Even when I try. Just look at how miserably I failed in trying to keep my loving you a secret?" He teased with a smile, "Everyone already knew by the time I finally said it outloud. It was not a secret to anyone but us, it seemed."
"This is true." She smiled softly shaking her head. "Let's go see our baby, Tony." Ziva added softly, unable to stop thinking about sharing this with him now, finding it more and more difficult to contain her growing joy.
"Very exciting." Ducky smiled and winked at Tony as he spread the gel over Ziva's lower abdomen.
Tony already had perspiration on his brown and sweaty palms just watching Ducky set up the ultrasound machine that this was real, Ziva was having his baby. "Very." Tony smiled widely and held tightly to Ziva's hand.
"And there is your baby." Ducky smiled as the image flashed to life on the screen. The very visible baby with perfect head, body, arms and legs was moving around wildly inside Ziva. "They appear to be dancing."
"Or practicing their ninja skills." Tony smiled unable to not. His heart was pounding madly with excitement, fear and love unlike anything he ever felt before. "Beautiful." He smiled at the image on the screen and then leaned down kissing Ziva, overwhelmed with love for her in this moment too. "I can't believe this is real."
"I assure you, it is." Ducky smiled widely seeing the joy on both of their faces for the first time in too long. "The baby is growing right on schedule, Ziva. Perfectly healthy and active as you can see." He let them relish in their joy for a moment before bringing home the reality, "I'm afraid that nothing has changed for the better with concerns to this portion of your uterus." He switched screens to show Tony the blood flow problem that was very evident when switched to Doppler. "There are concerns that as Ziva's pregnancy continues and the baby grows, this portion of her uterus is so scarred that it will not be able to grow and adjust as needed to support the baby. The placenta may detach from the uterus."
"What does that mean?" Tony asked feeling his heart plunge into his stomach with fear, already for his tiny unborn child.
"That we could lose the baby." Ziva added quietly taking a deep breath.
"And also great danger to Ziva." Ducky added seeing that she once again was glossing over the part about her own life in jeopardy should this occur. "The placenta tearing away from her uterus would cause immediate internal hemorraghing, to both mother and child." He sighed seeing the concern on both of their faces, "But this is why we are going to keep a close eye on both. Weekly ultrasounds and Ziva's taking it easy should help greatly to monitor the situation." He smiled, "For now, I want you to just enjoy this moment. Or try to at least. And let me be the first to wish you Congratulations. I think you will make excellent parents."
Ziva and Tony could not stop their immediate smiles at hearing those words for the first time and Tony leaned over to kiss her once more.
"Do you still wish for the sex of this child to remain a mystery?" Ducky asked with an inquisitive smile.
Tony looked at Ziva to see if she had changed her mind about finding out. He had to know now after seeing the images on the screen, the suspense was killing him. Ziva smiled at him and gave a slight head nod.
"Yes, we would very much like to know what the sex of our baby is, Ducky." He smiled anxiously, taking a deep breath knowing his world was about to be rocked one way or the other.
"Okay," Ducky smiled and waved the wand over the baby again, trying to locate the right angle, double-checking before announcing and wanting to be able to show them with certainty. "Congratulations Ziva and Anthony, you are having a girl."
"Yes!" Tony squealed with delight, "A mini ninja!" He smiled unable to stop the bounce in his body. The idea of a little minature version of Ziva had always been in his dreams and the reality was possible now before him.
"You really wanted a girl." Ziva smiled with new tears in her eyes to hear she was having a daughter, her own dreams coming true and seeing Tony's absolute joy at the idea. She had always dreamed of having a daughter first and then a baby boy who looked so much like his father with deep green eyes and Tony's smile.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to have a Mini Ziva Ninja first." Tony smiled peppering her face with kisses once again, "I have always dreamed of having a little girl first and baby boy second. I don't know why, its just what I've always seen when I have dreamt of having children with you."
Ducky couldn't stop his own smile and actually blushed turning away hearing Tony speaking so matter-o-factly about the children he'd dreamed of having with Ziva, and for quite some time by the sound of it. He was filled with pride at their utter joy. "I'm finished here. I shall leave you two alone to celebrate." He excused himself quietly giving them time to themselves.
"Me too." Ziva cried with a smile as Ducky was leaving, "But honestly, right now, I just want one, perfectly healthy child and I will feel incredibly blessed."
"Me too." Tony nodded solemnly with a smile, leaning his forehead against hers and threading his fingers lightly around the back of her neck, "We're having a baby girl, Ziva. There are… no words to describe how incredibly happy I am in this moment. So far, Israel is the place where my dreams are coming true!" He realized reaching up to wipe a tear that fell from Ziva's eyes upon hearing him say that.
"Tony, you were shot here and almost died. I would not blame you anymore if you hated it here." Ziva shook her head softly with foreheads still pressed together.
"I'm starting to see the events of Israel in a new life. Call it a post near death experience." He smiled teasing her palming her face even as their faces remain a mere inch apart, "Israel is the place where the love of my life was born. It's the place where I realized how very deeply I loved you when that plane took off without you. It is also the place that gave you back to me in a way, saved your life when you were shot and sent you home. It is the place that reminded me once again, to never take a moment with you for granted when I thought I was going to die and never see you again." He added softly wiping more tears from her cheeks, "And it is now the place where I've learned…that I am going to be a father. That my dream of having a baby with you, is actually coming true." He smiled kissing her lips softly.
"I'm scared, Tony." Ziva whispered against his lips, the fear only growing along with the joy to hear the sex of their child, and that this was really real and happening. The danger all the more real as well of losing her.
"We just have to take it one day at a time," Tony tried to reassure her, "And pray our little princess is just as tough as her beautiful mother." He smiled hearing her chuckle and suck back a sob at the same time.
"Your princess, already?" Ziva asked with a smile through tears.
"Of course, she will be Daddy's Princess. She already is." He smiled kissing her lips and laying a palm over Ziva's abdomen for the first time, their hands joining over their baby, "It's only fitting as her Mama is already my Queen." He smiled and laughed softly kissing her face again knowing how Ziva felt about his corny lines. She pretended to hate them but he knew she secretly loved it when he said things to her like this.
"I have missed you." She turned to face him more and kissed him more deeply, urgently and with passion; the spark reigniting within her having so many mixed emotions over the situation and love for the man before her.
Tony's passion for Ziva was just as intense in this moment, feeling very much alive and wanting her all the more knowing she was now the mother of his unborn child. He kissed her as intently as he could for as long as he could before his lungs burned and he had to pull away. "We can't." he shook his head trying to calm his breath and stroking the side of her beautiful face, cursing his limited lung capacity. "I'm not strong enough yet and you are…" He sighed deeply, "I can't take the chance of hurting you further."
"You wouldn't hurt me, Tony." Ziva knew what his fears were seeing the look in his eyes and the way he was glancing at her abdomen. He was afraid that being intimate with her would somehow be damaging to their baby. "Ducky assured me it would be fine. As long as we didn't get…too crazy." She smiled slightly embarassed thinking of the look in Ducky's eyes when he mentioned it, as though considering who Tony and Ziva were he felt the need to express they couldn't get too wild.
"Oh great, now Ducky is commenting on our sex life." Tony scoffed with a smile, trying to ease the tension but still afraid. "I'm sorry, Ziva but… I just can't. As much as I want you…and trust me, I want you… you with that beautiful smile…tanned sunkissed skin…long wavy hair," He studied her ravenously speaking in a voice that was classic Tony and pulling on the collar of his shirt as though he were choking, "Man it's hot in here…" He looked at her with smoldering eyes, "Trust me, My Little Israeli Love Machine… I want you." He gulped, "But I just can't. If I hurt you or the Princess in anyway…" He shook his head, "I'm sorry."
Ziva sighed and fingered her hair behind her ear, "So does this mean…that for the remainder of my pregnancy, you are not going to touch me again? At all?" She asked with raised eyebrows and unable to hide her immediate disappointment, needing his contact so badly right now it literally brought her to tears and she couldn't explain it with the raging hormones. "Because I need you, Tony. I can't explain why…but I have honestly never wanted you more then right now. I am literally burning inside, wanting you to make love to me." She was honest and watched Tony's eyes widen.
Tony could see the smoldering look in her eyes and it was certainly never one he'd seen before, even with all the eye sex and hot demands for each other in the past few months, this was something he'd never seen with Ziva…it was near primal. "Dear God, woman… you're going to be my undoing." He leaned forward and grabbed her, kissing her passionately and unable to stop wanting her all the more for wanting him so badly.
When he gasped deeply and went into a coffee fit, this time it was Ziva who pulled back on alarm.
"You aren't ready for this." She spoke quietly with tears in her eyes, instantly feeling badly that she'd forced him into this somehow when he was still very sick and mending. "I'm sorry." She apologized with hand on his back as he kept coughing and wincing.
"Never apologize for being so smoking delicious that I cannot stop myself from wanting you." He smiled at her through coughs as they began to subside, "I love you, Ziva David. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. Always." He smiled, "I'm not taking any moment with you for granted. If I want to kiss you like that, then my lungs be damned! I'm going to kiss the woman I love until I'm breathless! I would die a happy man!"
"That would not make me happy." Ziva shook her head at his smiling face, trying and failing not to smile at his humor, "I love you too, Tony but you're not ready for this. For now, we will go slow and I will figure out a way to deal with my…desires." She sighed with shoulders dropping.
"I'd always heard a woman's pregnancy sex drive was insatiable." Tony remarked with quirked eyebrow and sexy smile, "Of course I'd have to lose a lung at just the right moment as to not experience such a thing with the My Israeli Love Machine. Just my luck!" He shook his head dramatically.
"Just like it was my luck, to be shot in the heart when you finally decided to tell me you loved me…" Ziva countered with a soft smile and tease, "And I was unable to kiss you senseless." She reminded him of their reversed situations. "You waited two months for me to heal to make love to me…and it was certainly worth it." She smiled and then palmed her lower abdomen, leaning forward and kissed his lips lightly, "I will figure out a way to get through the next month or more, even with raging pregnancy hormones, until you are ready."
"My God, I hope it's not that long!" Tony sighed. "I will never again take for granted any and every chance we are capable of making love for as long as I live after surviving both your injury and recovery and now mine. This is like the most extreme test of patience either of us has ever had to endure. Frankly, I'm sick of it." He protested pulling her up softly and into his arms, wrapping them around her tightly and kissing the top of her head. "We need to get our minds onto something else, because all I want to do right now with you is…" He shook his head, "Let's go talk to our fathers. That should do the trick." He smiled thinking about Gibbs glaring at him and his own father talking about some sexual adventure story he likely had that always killed Tony's own mood for such activities. "Are we going to tell them the news? That we're having a girl?" He asked with a smile as they walked hand in hand out the door.
"I'd like to keep it between us for right now. Just a little while. Our secret. If that is okay with you?" Ziva asked smiling over at him, "Something special just the two of us before you anxiously spill the beans." She smiled at him, knowing she got that saying right this time.
Tony smiled widely at both her correctness of the idiom and the fact she wanted to keep a secret with him for a change, instead of from him. "I'd like that very much, Ms. David." He kissed her lips, "Very much indeed."