I Wanna Do Bad Things With You

Dean decided to wait 'til night had fallen to act. He did not want to draw extra attention t himself, as he was terribly nervous.

According to the plan, the first step was to find a suitable present. The black duck was thinking hard about what to get for Castiel. If it were him, what would Dean like as a gift? Probably something delicious to eat.

Dean waddled off to see if he could find anything suitable in the yard. Loud talking got his attention. Balthazar was holding a meeting in front of the chicken-house. All four hens were there.

"So, I am tired of your constant quarreling and bickering. Therefore, I made a table. Each of you will have one entire day to spend with me. Here are the days: Monday – Ruby, Tuesday – Meg, Wednesday – Bela, Thursday – Lilith. On Fridays you will clean the chicken-house and on week-ends we rest. Is everything clear? Balthazar asked strictly.

The hens nodded their agreement.

"If so, you're free to go."

Dean chuckled and resumed waddling.

Dean was so busy searching for a gift that he didn't notice when it started to get dark. The black duck assumed that he found a good gift and with his heart beating rapidly and unstable steps, he went to see Castiel.

The smaller duck was standing at the wooden basin with a sad face. His wing was drawing circles on the water's surface with lazy movements. Castiel started when Dean towered above him.

"Uhm… Hello, Dean." Castiel sounded confused.

"Mhmm hm," answered the black duck.

Castiel's confusion got worse. "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand you," apologetically mumbled the smaller duck.

Dean lowered his head and opened his beak. A small, green frog fell out. Dean gingerly held the frog in place with his webbed foot. The poor amphibian was too terrified to make a protesting croak.

"I brought you a frog," Dean said with immense pride and grinned widely.

Castiel's gaze shifted from Dean to the frog. "And why do I need this frog?" he asked cautiously.

Dean's confidence shattered into small pieces and his smile wiped away. He took his foot off of the frog. The amphibian finally understood that it was his chance and with loud croaking, and probably cursing, hopped away.

"I thought you would like to eat it," Dean said almost inaudibly.

"Oh," said Castiel. He paused. "Thank you for your concern, Dean. That was very nice, of course, but I only eat vegetables," Castiel answered shyly.

Dean's mood spoiled. The first step of his plan had failed. It was time to move to the next one. What was it anyway? Oh, compliments, yes.

"Erm… Cas, your chest looks so… so green today." Dean realized immediately that he had said something really stupid and wanted to facepalm himself.

Castiel tilted his head and narrowed his eyes while staring at Dean. "But my chest is always green. Are you feeling well, Dean?" His voice was full of concern.

"Uhm... yes… yes, I'm fine." Dean's mind was completely muddled from nervousness. "I like your tail. It's so… It's so beautiful and… and…" Dean did not know how to finish the sentence.

Castiel was not saying anything; he was just gaping at his friend.

God damn it! Dean didn't expect this to go so badly. Maybe this only worked with females? And as Castiel was not a female duck, it did not work out as planned. Anyway, Dean had to try his last shot. But from confusion, he forgot what the third step was. Something to do with music.

"Concentrate, Dean, you can do it!" he told himself. Oh yes, the dance!

"Cas, would you like to dance?" Dean wished the earth would open and swallow him when he saw Castiel's bewildered face.

"Oh, fuck it!" he thought and lunged forward.

Dean recalled that he saw a couple on TV dancing the Argentinean Tango and he tried to remember the dance movements.

He did not give Castiel time to react: he wrapped one wing around the smaller duck's waist, and with his second wing he held Castiel's wing trying to bend him back.

Castiel lost his balance and with frightened quacking thudded to the ground. Dean followed him and fell on top of the smaller duck.

"Dean, what is wrong with you? What are you doing?" Castiel jumped to his feet and cleaned himself of dirt.

Dean could not say anything. He felt mortified and would not look at Castiel.

"Can't you understand? He wants to mate with you, moron!" Crowley's laughter sounded from the balcony.

"Mate?" Castiel gasped.

Dean could not take it anymore. He ran away, feeling humiliated. The black duck could hear Crowley's laughter for a long time.

Astonished Castiel was looking at his friend as he ran away. Dean loved him! The smaller duck cursed himself for being so stupid and not noticing what was happening to Dean.

2:45 am

The noise of a breaking twig got Dean's attention. He was hiding in wild chamomiles that grew behind the chicken-house. The black duck raised his head and saw Castiel. For a few minutes they just stared at each other, not saying anything. Finally Dean spoke: "What do you want, Cas? Did you come here to mock me?" Dean's voice was heartbreakingly sad.

Castiel shook his head.

"Then why did you co…" Castiel did not let him finish, as he held Dean's head with his wings and pressed their beaks together.

Dean's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. "Cas, so you too… It means you too…"

The smaller duck nodded with a smile.

Dean felt warmth spreading through his body and he wrapped his wings around Castiel…

Balthazar woke up to strange sounds. At first he could not understand what he was hearing, but after some listening, he discerned passionate quacking that was coming from behind the chicken-house.

"Finally," chuckled Balthazar. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Though it was a pretty hard task, as the lovers were so loud…