I don't own anything to do with Twilight.
there's this one song that really helped me right this. it isn't 100% applicable to the story, but i love it anyways
it's called: Arms by Christina Perri. I don't think she's that well known, which is a shame, because i love all her songs.
you should definetly check them out!
this is my story and I love you for reading it (:

Chapter 13:

Paul's Point of View

Did it count as stalking if you were stalking your soul-mate? God, I hoped not. I had already heard more about Madison than I was supposed to. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I'm following her, too. Which, I guess, technically, I was doing.

I was currently sitting in a small patch of woods, a good distance away from her bedroom window, listening to her get dressed. I, and the human me this time, was supposed to be picking her up for the bonfire tonight.

When I called this morning, asking Madison if she wanted to go with me, it had been an instant yes. My heart had damn near exploded with joy, and I've been sitting here ever since. It was times like these I was glad I was the only one phased.

I didn't want the pack to hear me like this...practically dancing from the happiness of hearing my imprint breathe.

I idly wondered if she felt the imprint connection like I did. I had outright laughed in Sam's face when he described the pain of being away from Emily. I hadn't understood...I didn't think anything could have been that strong...

Only now did I truly understand. I needed Madison. I needed her or I would go crazy. She was my world. She was the most important thing in my life.

I crooked my head slightly, adjusting my view into the kitchen, so I could read the clock hanging off on the side. The bonfire started at 7, and it was...

I repressed a groan. It was barely 6 now.

Fuck. Me.

~~OO~~

Madison's Point of View

"And where will this bonfire be again?" My mother asked for the umpteenth time.

I refrained from snapping at her, remembering the pills I had found. She deserved better from me. How I treated her yesterday was atrocious. I hated what I had done to her, but most of all I hated how I hadn't noticed.

"Paul didn't mention it, but I think around ten?"

"Mhm."

Her "mother-hawk" mode was still in play. I knew that no matter what I said, what I did, she would be worried about me. She was always worried about me, always having to see if I was ok. She never had a moment to herself.

I briefly wondered how her life would be different once I was gone. Would she date? Would she be happy without me? I hoped so; I really hoped.

"Is that what you're planning on wearing?" She asked me critically.

I looked down at myself, confused. For once, I was dressed nicely. Sure, my jeans were a little loose, and yes, maybe the white shirt I was wearing had been better days, but so what? I didn't think Paul would care what I was wearing.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

My mom looked me over, shaking her head slightly, "You so did not inherit my sense of fashion."

I let out a startled giggle, looking over her dusty jeans, mismatched socks and ratty sandals, "What sense of fashion?"

My mom winked at me, "Exactly."

I rolled my eyes, "Great. Sarcasm."

My mom squeezed me to herself and wiggled me around, just like when I was little. She reluctantly released me and maneuvered my body so I was standing in front of her. "Seriously, you need a jacket, a hat, and gloves if you think I'm even going to let you out of my sight."

"Gloves?" I said sadly.

My mom nodded once, "Gloves."

Twenty minutes later, I examined myself in the mirror, and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. I looked like a fool. I had allowed my mother her way, and I was severely paying for it.

Paul was due here any second, and I was wearing two jackets, warm fleecy socks, and a black hat with a -gag- pompom. Not to mention the gloves I had stuffed into my jean pockets, with a promise of how I would put them on later.

"I can't believe I'm witnessing your first date."

I turned around slowly, plastering a fake grin on my face. My mom didn't know this was technically not my first date, and I planned on keeping it like that. Just by the look on her face, I knew what was coming. Moments later, I was not disappointed.

"Madison, I need you to be careful."

I studied the floor, my gaze hunting for dust bunnies, "I know, mom."

"If you start to feel bad, if you feel a m-moment coming on, I need you to call me and I will come and get you. Or have Paul take you home."

I had found one. The little dust bunny was hiding behind the lower shelf, half obscured by my mom's other set of sandals. "I know, mom."

"I'm trusting you here. I know I sound like a broken record, but I love you so much." I winced as the pills entered my mind again. My mom's love for me was depressing her. "And that means I want you to be safe."

My eyes widened slightly as I took in the huge dust monster halfway across the room. I could only see part of it, because it was under the brown couch, but the part I did see easily dwarfed the dust bunny still hiding behind the shelf.

"Look at me." My mom ordered.

I took a deep breath, and leveled my eyes with hers. I repeated the words I had spoken so many times before. I repeated the words that had ruled my life. I repeated the words that, for the first time, were going to be a lie. My disease would no longer rule my life.

"I'll be safe. Safe meaning no drugs, no alcohol, no pills, no un-filtered water, no strange foods. If I get a scratch, I'll clean it." My mom raised her eyebrows, pressing me for more, "If I fall down, I'll test my bones before I get up. If I feel anything wrong with my bones, or any other part of my body for that matter, I'll rest, sit down, and if that doesn't work, I'll call you. If I feel faint or nauseas, or if I have a moment, I'll call you, too."

She still wasn't satisfied. "You're missing something."

My cheeks flushed for a moment, before I forced them to clear. "I'm not going to have sex. I'm not stupid." I reminded her.

"Sex could kill you Madison." We both flinched at her harsh words. My mom's face paled slightly, as if she couldn't believe what she had said; what she continued to say, "Same with diseases of any sort. You catch one and it's over."

I nodded my head dutifully, wishing she would stop. I knew I was going to die, I knew that. I knew my mother knew, but hearing her say it like that- so factual. I wanted to protect her.

Her anti-depressant pills flashed through my mind once again. I had already failed.

My mom tapped her foot, "And...?" She hedged.

I looked her square in the eye, and lied, "I won't kiss anyone, either."

She let out a puff of breath, relieved, "Good."

The doorbell rang suddenly. The chimes seemed to echo around the house. Each tone reminding me that Paul was here, and that I had already kissed him.

~~OO~~

Paul's Point of View

I fucking thought that last hour would never pass. The time had eaten away at me. Each tick of the clock seemed to mock me.

But finally, finally, it was time. I bounded up the front stairs, trying to keep the smile off my face. I didn't want Madison to get nervous at how excited I was.

I rang the doorbell and waited six antagonizing seconds, before the door opened, revealing my everything.

"Hey Mads." I beamed, my heart swelling at seeing her. I glanced over her body fleetingly, keeping myself in check. Despite what certain parts of my body wanted, Madison wasn't ready for a physical relationship, which I respected. I would never force her. The mere thought made me sick.

"Hi Paul. Bye mom!" She called over her shoulder, before grabbing my hand and practically pulling me back down the driveway.

"What's the rush?" I asked, pulling her to a stop.

Madison tugged my arm feebly, "Let's go?" It came out as a desperate question, rather than a statement, which irked me.

The imprint tugged on my core, demanding I follow her instructions. "Yeah, sure." I complied easily, giving her what she wanted.

I took a few more steps, before pulling her to another stop, this time for reasons completely different.

Madison turned around, "Wha-" She broke off when I leaned down, angling my head for a kiss. She had no idea how much I had missed her. Every second of every moment I was away from her was torture.

"No!" She moaned out, in a loud whisper. I backed off right away, standing to my full height, my insides crumbling. What had I done? Did she not want me like that? It was hard to believe after last night, but not impossible. She was allowed to change her mind. It would break me, but I wouldn't force her to be with me.

She tried to tug her hand out of grasp, and I felt a shoot of pain go up through my body. I released her arm like a hot coal, and tried to clear the emotions off my face. I didn't want to startle her with how much her rejection was hurting me.

"Let's just go." Madison took off for the truck, and I followed her, my heart in my throat.

She climbed into the truck, adjusting her hat, and leaned back against the seat. I jumped in next to her and started the truck, then headed off towards first beach, where the bonfire would be held.

I was actually apprehensive about bringing my imprint to the bonfire tonight. Half of me wanted to show Madison off proudly. The other half wanted to smother her in bubble wrap and hold her on my lap forever, making sure nothing could ever hurt her.

The emotions were conflicting, to say the least.

I cleared my throat awkwardly as I pulled the truck up to first beach. We hadn't spoken the entire ride.

"We're here." I announced loudly.

Madison's beautiful green eyes popped open and looked at me, startled. "Sorry, I think I was a little out of it." She smiled at me, making me heart contract, "Thanks for inviting me, Paul."

I nodded stupidly, and went around the truck to help her out. "Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone. Although, you already know Seth and Embry."

I hesitated, not sure whether to grab her hand or not, remembering earlier.

Screw it, I thought, before grabbing her small hand gently in mine. I needed to be touching her; she grounded me. A small piece of me smiled in victory when she didn't pull away.

In fact, Madison didn't resist me at all as I led her down a darkening path. The sun was just beginning to set. It was perfect timing, if I say so myself. I knew my Madison liked sunsets, because she had commented on one before.

The path dumped us out onto the beach, and we walked over to the group. Everyone was already seated around Billy in a circle, the bonfire roaring high, eating enormous amounts of food. My stomach growled as I inhaled the delicious scents of Emily's cooking.

"Hey! Paul, Madison!" Embry ran up to us, ignoring me, and enveloping my imprint into a massive hug, which she returned. I waited patiently for about half a second, then growled softly, knowing Embry would hear it.

He let go instantly, and Seth ran up, "Madison! Long time no see," he smiled, before giving her a lighter hug then Embry had.

I gave Seth a dirty look. I knew he was hugging Madison to annoy me.

"Come on, Mads." I said tersely, pulling her away out of Seth's arms and away from Embry, towards the rest of the pack.

Emily met my eyes, and jumped up immediately, shushing Sam, who had been talking to her. "Paul! I take it this is Madison?"

I felt Madison tense beside me slightly as Emily and little Claire rushed up. Claire, being three, didn't fully understand the situation, and ran up to me, yelling, "Unca Paw! Unca Paw!"

I bent down swiftly, knowing Quil would kill me if I didn't catch her, and lifted her easily, "Hey Claire!"

Claire's face scrunched up as she looked at Madison, "Who's dis?"

I chuckled, "This is Madison." I couldn't keep the pride from leaking into my voice. I turned to Madison, taking in her smile, "Madison, this is Claire."

"Hi Claire. It's very nice to meet you."

"Fhank you." Claire said modestly, making Madison giggle. "Down, Unca Paw!" Claire yelled, whacking me in the face with her ringlets of hair.

"Ok, ok kiddo." I said quickly, placing her on the floor. I watched as she ran to Quil across the circle snuggling up to his chest when he held her.

"My niece is modest, isn't she?" Emily chimed in, walking forward.

"She's adorable." Madison answered, matter of fact.

"This is Emily," I introduced them. I felt Madison still beside me when Emily's scars came into view. I had forgotten to warn her about them, but to Madison's credit, she recovered quickly.

Emily smiled, "It's very nice to meet you."

"You too." Madison said easily, "How far along are you?" She gestured to Emily's stomach, which bulged out hugely.

"Oh, god. Eight months. I wish this sucker would hurry up, though. I miss seeing my feet!"

Madison joined in as Emily laughed. "Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?" She questioned.

"Sam's hoping for a boy." I supplied.

Sam came up behind Emily then, wrapping his arms around his wife's pregnant stomach. The amount of love emanating from them, before I imprinted, used to scare me. I never thought I could feel that amount of pure emotional love towards one person...until I met Madison.

"Speak of the devil..." I muttered, lowly enough so only Sam could hear me. "This is Sam. Sam, this is Madison."

"Hi." She said shyly. Sam smiled at her, still wrapped up in Emily.

"Oh!" Emily burst out suddenly, "The food!"

"What? There's more?" Madison questioned me, astounded.

Emily tugged Sam, waddling away towards the many grills that had been set up.

I winked at her, patting my stomach, "We're big eaters here on the Rez."

~~OO~~

Madison's Point of View

I sat back against a log in the sand, staring at Paul with horror in my eyes. "How much more food can you possibly eat?"

Paul shrugged and kept attacking his third plate of food. I understood now why Emily had prepared as much as she had. Although, I had given up after half a plate...which Paul finished for me.

I turned to Kim, watching her watch Jared with a similar disgust. She turned to me and I made a face of mock-horror.

"I know!" She whispered back.

Jared growled playfully at her, around his mouth of food, and pulled Kim against his side, sighing. I pointedly looked away across the fire. Even though the gesture had been innocent, it was still too intimate for me to watch. I felt like a voyeur.

My view from across the fire wasn't much better. Sam had Emily in his lap, and he was whispering into her ear, causing her to blush mildly. I blinked my eyes fast, settling my gaze on Quil and Claire. By far, this was the most baffling 'couple' I had encountered so far.

It was obvious Quil adored Claire, and vice-versa. I just found it strange. But, I couldn't deny it was cute, too. Quil was lying down in the sand, with Claire peacefully asleep on his chest. He was idly tracing patterns across her back, staring at her with the most profound expression on his face.

I jerked my eyes back my hands, painfully aware of how close Paul's body was to mine.

I regretted not kissing him earlier when I had the opportunity. I had been so afraid my mother had been watching out the window, and after the conversation we had just had, I didn't dare make any more contact with Paul then necessary. But now? I wanted nothing more than to lean against him.

Paul growled suddenly, standing up, glaring at two new people who seemed to be walking our way. Jared stood up a moment later, followed by Sam. Even Billy wheeled himself forward. Quil, Seth, and Embry were the only ones who didn't move, although they all seemed tenser than before.

"Jacob." Paul spat out, walking a few steps forward. I noticed he was shaking slightly. "What's she doing here?"

The boy, Jacob, came into view, tugging a girl behind him. "I invited her, Paul. Back off!" He growled back.

"Enough." Sam said loudly, standing up. Sam turned to Paul, giving him a look, one I didn't understand. "Bella was invited."

Paul cracked his knuckles, and snorted. "Right." He said sarcastically.

I studied the girl, wondering what exactly was happening. Things seemed to be flowing easily until Jacob, and Bella, was it?, entered the picture. I watched as Bella brushed some hair behind her ear, and wrapped her hands around her middle, like she was holding herself together.

I knew the feeling.

Jared leaned over Kim and I, and placed a hand on Paul's shoulder. He leaned in and whispered something that I didn't hear. It seemed to calm Paul down slightly and he sat back down next to me. This time, his arm wrapped around me shoulders almost protectively.

Protective or not, it still felt nice.

Paul buried his face in my neck, making me jump. His nose was hot against my chilled skin as he inhaled deeply.

"You're freezing." He accused.

I shrugged, "I'm fine. I'm always cold."

Paul raised his eyebrows, giving me a look of disbelief. "Come here." He whispered.

Before I could object, Paul pulled me in between his legs, pressing my back against his chest. I blushed deeply, feeling the muscles in his chest.

My mother's parting words echoed in my head, but I shoved them out, leaning myself against him more firmly. This is where I belonged. For right here, right now, I would damn the consequences. I wiggled myself deeper in between his legs, relaxing my body.

The final burst from the sunset disappeared then, and I listened, enthralled, as Billy began to speak the legends I had never heard.

~~OO~~

Paul's Point of View

I was only half listening to the legends I knew to be true. I was too busy feeling the weight of my imprint against my chest. She felt like she belonged there. Her small body was a perfect fit.

I rested my chin on the top of her head, loving how I felt a shiver go down her spine. I wrapped my arms around her, entrapping her in my embrace. I sighed contentedly, my earlier temper long forgotten.

She had done that- only Madison.

That's all Jared had to whisper into my ear- her name- and I was calm. I couldn't lose it in front of her like that again. I hadn't been close to phasing. But, I had been close to storming across the circle and ripping Bella's goddamned head off.

This bonfire was for imprints and pack only. The leech-lover was nothing. It was bad enough sharing Jacob's thoughts about how much he worried about her now that her precious bloodsuckers had abandoned her here. Having her in my presence was salt to an open wound.

Bella had no idea what she was doing to Jacob. Or at least, I didn't think she did. If she knew Jacob was in love with her, and acted how she did anyway, then she was the biggest bitch I had ever set eyes on.

The pain in his thoughts. Especially since he knew Bella didn't love him. But he hoped; oh, how he hoped. It was horrible to listen to.

Emily belonged here. Claire and Kim, they belonged here. Madison belonged here. Bella didn't.

I snuggled my imprint closer to me, which stopped the slight tremor in my hands.

When the legends were over, I felt Madison stretch out, then immediately relax back against me.

"Did you like them?" I whispered to her.

"Mhm." She nodded, closing her eyes. I chuckled, and stood up with her in my arms, cracking my back.

"Paul!" She squeaked, wrapping her hands around my neck. "I can walk. You do know that, right?"

"Of course." I answered, knowing it would annoy her.

I was right. A little pucker formed between her eyes. "Then let me walk?" She suggested.

I pretended to contemplate an answer, but Madison trying to wiggle out of my arms sealed the deal. I put her down carefully.

"The legends were amazing. The way Billy spoke..." She trailed off, looking out into the ocean, "it was just really thought provoking."

"Thought provoking?" I asked, surprised. I wasn't sure where she was going with this, "How?"

"The way the third wife sacrificed herself for...the greater good." She explained, not looking at me.

I was still puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"How she put Taha Aki's needs before her own." Madison clarified, "How...she did what she needed to do, regardless of how it would work out for her, to help the people she loved." Madison shook out her head, and pushed her short hair behind an ear. "It just reminds me of something, I guess."

"Something like what?" I tried one last time. I wanted to know Madison, I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking.

Her eyes met mine, and I saw a fire in them I hadn't seen before. "Personal sacrifice." She said kindly, "I'm talking about personal sacrifice, Paul."

My heart constricted, "Wh-what?" I choked out.

Madison shrugged, "It's nothing." But I could still see it in her eyes. I knew it was something. "I just thought it was brave."

Madison walked a few paces away from me, and took off a shoe.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

She smiled innocently at me, and then bent down to remove the other one, peeling off both socks as she went.

"Seriously," I said, knowing what she was planning to do, "the water's freezing. You could get sick!" I burst out, the thought having just occurred to me.

I recoiled slightly at Madison's expression. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Something wasn't right here. The same fire that was in her eyes when she talked about the legends returned now, "I don't give a shit if I get sick. I want to put my feet in the water."

"Whoa, ok. I didn't mean anything by it, I swear." I said, wondering how on earth I had caused this change in her, "I just don't want you to get a cold or something."

She smiled at me, a big beautiful, broken smile. "Live a little, Paul. Life is short. Come with me?" She asked, then turned, starting for the water.

How could I refuse? She was my everything.

I stripped off my worn shoes, and chased after her, catching up to her in seconds. I could hear her breathy laughter, and I chuckled.

Madison ran into the water, going up to her knees, soaking her jeans. She reached down and grabbed a handful of water, throwing it at my chest.

"Hey!" I laughed, "Now you're asking for it!" I jumped next to her, causing a large splash to soak us both.

She cried out joyfully, wetting her hands again. This time the water went onto my head, something I expected.

I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her out of the water, spinning her around, loving the sound of her shrieking laughter.

The moonlight reflected off of everything, making her pale skin glow. Madison's eyes lit up, and I lowered her back into the water. She was pressed against my chest.

Her eyes connected with mine, and the imprint tugged at my core again, begging me to protect her. From what, I didn't know.

I leaned down slowly, the earlier rejection still fresh in my mind. There was no hesitance this time. Madison raised herself up on her toes, and wound her hands through my short hair, tracing a thumb over the back of my neck.

I mirrored her movements, fisting a hand in her soft hair. Our lips met a moment later, and I shut my eyes, enjoying the feel of her lips against mine. I slowly opened my mouth against hers, brushing my open mouth across hers.

She whimpered in response. It was enough. I sank my lips against hers harder, and I framed her face with one hand, while the other circled her back, holding her chest to mine. I stooped down lower, opening my mouth further against hers, sucking on her bottom lip delicately.

My heart pounded in my ears, as did hers. I could hear her fast heartbeat, and memorized the sound.

A few seconds later, she pulled away, breaking our sweet kiss.

"Paul." She whispered, her lips brushing mine slightly as she spoke.

"Madison." I sighed.

Like a runaway train, I felt my heart and soul reach out, surrounding her, and I felt myself slip a little further into loving her.

sorry if that Bella scene seemed a little harsh to any of you, but it WAS paul's POV, and he's never been her biggest fan. what'd you think of the chapter? it was a little hard for me to write, just from the sheer amount of characters at the bonfire. did you like? xx