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Colette filled a cup with water from the water cooler before knocking gently on the door to the men's bathroom. 'Are you ok Jonny?' she inquired as she pushed the door open slightly.

'Yeah' Jonny replied shakily 'come in'

Colette pushed the door fully open and stepped into the room to find him leaning against the sink, his face pale. 'Here' she smiled at Jonny as she held out the water to him.

'Thanks' he responded quietly as he took the plastic cup from her with a shaking hand. 'Did you know about any of that?' he questioned her, wondering if her position would have led her to Jac's personnel file.

'No Jonny' Colette shook her head firmly 'I wouldn't have the need to know.'

'She er…' Jonny paused as he fought back another wave of nausea 'she hates to be touched suddenly. I used to tease her about it, I'd sneak up on her wrap my arm around her waist you know? Now I feel like such an idiot'

'You were lovers Jonny, I'm sure she saw it was meant with affection' Colette tried to reassure him.

'It used to startle her and I found it funny' Jonny swirled some of the water around in his mouth and spat it out in the sink, trying to rid his mouth of the taste of vomit. 'There were other signs too like how she dealt with a patient who'd been raped, she picked up on it not me, comforted the girl convinced her to tell her father.' Jonny drank down the last of the water and tossed the empty cup into the waste bin 'and then there's the way she can't stand being in the dark, I teased her about that too. That was until she had a nightmare one night I was with her, she was so afraid she clung to me. I should have guessed it was more to her than just a bad dream but again I didn't take it seriously, I actually laughed about it with Mo' he shook his head at his own stupidity 'I should have known.'

'Jac is difficult to read Jonny' Colette shrugged her shoulders helplessly 'she makes it that way for a reason.'

'No I should have questioned her more. Not let her block me out' he rubbed his tired eyes. 'She doesn't have any family and so few friends and I never questioned why or how. I just let her fob me off with short answers because so long as I ended up in her bed I didn't care enough to find out the details. What kind of a person does that make me?'

'It makes you a man Jonny' Colette smiled reassuringly as she rubbed his shoulder 'I'm sure she knew you loved her, cared for her. If she'd wanted you to know the finer points of her past she would have told you.'

'I still do love her' Jonny mumbled. Colette let silence engulf them as she found herself unable to think of anything helpful to say. Jac was destined to be with Joseph thus poor Jonny's love for the red headed woman was going to remain unrequited.

'Her kidney!' Jonny suddenly exclaimed, straitening himself up. 'She only has one kidney!'

'So?' Colette frowned confused 'what has that got to do with any of this?'

'I need to speak with someone from Keller, not Michael Spence' Jonny was muttering to himself now, walking quickly towards the door 'he won't tell me anything'

'Jonny wait!' Colette called out uselessly as he exited through the door. She groaned as she realised she was going to have to follow him to make sure he didn't get himself into trouble. 'To think I thought today was going to be a quiet one' she muttered under her breath as she opened the door and set off at a jog to catch up with Jonny.

Jonny reached AAU and looked around for Ric Griffin.

'Jonny is everything ok?' Mary-Claire asked him seeing his agitated state.

'I need to speak with Mr Griffin' Jonny answered her, his voice starting to show an edge of panic.

'Jonny' Colette caught up with him slightly out of breath 'I don't understand what good this is doing you, let's just go and get a coffee and we'll talk it…'

Colette didn't finish her sentence as Jonny pushed past her having spotted Ric coming out of the office.

'What's going on?' Mary-Claire asked Colette in an undertone as she watched Jonny striding up to the consultant with purpose.

'Lord knows, but I don't think it's good' Colette hurried after Jonny, hoping he was planning to keep his tongue civil.

'Mr Griffin, Jac's kidney' Jonny asked Ric breathlessly 'I need you tell me about her kidney'

'Jonny, you know I can't discuss that with you' Ric looked at the man with concern 'what's this all about?'

'Just tell me who she donated it to, that's all I want to know' Jonny clenched his fists in bid to remind himself to keep his temper.

'Jonny, I can't disclose that information, you know that' Ric shook his head at him.

'So she did donate it then?' Jonny breathed out heavily.

'Jonny come on' Colette pleaded with him 'you're not helping yourself here and to be frank I'm a bit confused.'

'you're confused?' Jonny glared at her 'I've just had a child with an complete enigma. Turns out I know nothing at all about Jac Naylor, mainly because she wouldn't tell me' Jonny walked around to the other side of the desk to access the computer.

'Jonny what are you doing now?' Colette asked exasperatedly.

'Well if you won't help me and she most certainly won't help me then I guess I'll have to dig up her patient records won't I?'

'Jonny, you could lose your job for doing that' Ric spoke calmly. 'Why don't you come with me to the office and we'll talk about this in private'

'JUST TELL ME WHO SHE DONATED HER KIDNEY TO!' Jonny suddenly yelled becoming frustrated as his log in for the computer wasn't working.

'Jonny you are causing a scene' Ric spoke softly now 'do you think this is what Jac wants? For her private business to be broadcasted across AAU?' he placed a hand on Jonny's shoulder 'Come on, come with me and we'll talk about it.'

'Why wouldn't she talk with me?' Jonny looked into Ric's eyes, confused, angery and ashamed of himself. 'I just don't understand why.'

'Come on' Ric gently led Jonny by the arm into the confines of the office, allowing Colette to join them before closing the door. 'Sit down Jonny' Ric guided him over to a chair 'you look like a man with the weight of world on his shoulders.

Jonny buried his head in his hands as he began to talk. 'I overheard some things. Joseph and his mother were arguing and I overheard things about Jac I wasn't meant to.' He held his head up to look Ric in the eye 'did you know she was in foster care?'

'Yes' Ric nodded.

'Do you know why?'

'Yes' Ric nodded again.

'Did you know her time there wasn't great?' Jonny asked next

'I guessed it wasn't, she never wanted to talk about it'

'Did you know she was raped?'

'Yes' Ric answered without hesitation 'although I'm not sure she is aware I know, she's never acknowledged it.'

'How can you be so matter of fact?' Jonny glared at him. 'How did you find out?'

'I was her mentor for many years Jonny when she was a GS registrar. There was an…' Ric searched round for the correct word '…incident. One of my ex-wives was involved, Jac told her and so she passed the information onto me'

'Who else knows all this?' Jonny asked now

'Michael, Elliot and probably Sacha' Ric thought for a moment 'In fact I'd say Sacha probably knows more than most.'

'None of you thought to tell me any of this?' Jonny crossed his arms.

'Why?' Ric leaned back in his chair 'surely you can see it is up to Jac who knows this sort of information?'

'Didn't you think I needed some sort of warning?'

'Against what?' Ric snapped now 'with Jac what you see is what you get. She's never pretended to be anything else with you has she?'

'No' Jonny hung his head 'but it might have helped me to understand and to have treated her differently.'

'I wish you'd help me to understand Jonny.' Ric gave him a look considering look 'why do you need to know who Jac gave her kidney to?'

'Because I have a feeling it was her mother and if it was her mother then where is she?'

'In India' the information slipped out before Ric could help himself. 'Jonny let it go, I'm sure Jac would rather forget the whole sorry business. I most certainly wish I could, it never should have gone ahead.'

'Ok' Jonny nodded, seeing some clarity 'so her mother turns up out of blue, convinces Jac to give her a kidney and then disappears again?' Ric just stared at Jonny impassively. 'I'll take the fact you're not denying it as a yes.'

'Jonny, I need you to help me here' Colette broke into the conversation between the two men. 'What difference does any of this make to you? I mean, clearly to hear what Jac has suffered is shocking, but how does it affect you?'

'I…I don't know' Jonny shook his head 'I guess I've just realised for the first time who Jac is. I mean she's incredible.' He thought for a moment 'I didn't realise how hard any of this would be, having a baby, a sick baby at that, with Jac. I thought it'd all work out in the end but now I just don't see how it can work.'

'Of course it can work' Ric smiled encouragingly at Jonny 'all Emma needs to know is her father loves her and her mother loves her. Whatever has gone on between the pair of you is irrelevant now.'

'It's what didn't go on between the pair of us that concerns me most. Why didn't she tell me any of this?' Jonny looked questioningly at Ric who struggled to find an answer for him. 'I think its because she knew I wouldn't be able to cope with it, I wouldn't know how to act with her or what to say to her and she was right. Its too hard, all of it is just too hard.'

'Jonny, there comes a time in life when you have to consider your responsibilities and options' Ric gave him a long hard stare 'if you think life is too hard as you put it then you have two options. Either deal with it or walk away.'

Jonny nodded his head. 'I think I need to spend some time with Emma'

'I think that's wise' Ric nodded to him as the man stood to leave. 'Jonny, I'll just say one more thing to you. You're right Jac is incredible; she hasn't sunk down into a pit of despair instead she has developed coping mechanisms that help her stay afloat. Sometimes she may just be treading water but she has never once given up. I think you could learn something from that.'