Beyond The Walls
Chapter 14: Secrets
"Tracey, could you help me with something in the lab please?"
Tracey looked up at the professor in surprise, having been too absorbed in the video game to hear him enter the room. He and Gary were in the basement-turned den, playing Mortal Kombat on May's old Sega. Gary was beating him horribly despite his claims that he rarely played video games, regardless, Tracey was having fun and he silently cursed the older man for interrupting.
"Sure. What do you need help with?" Tracy asked, grimacing as Gary defeated him once more.
"I'll show you in the lab." He was being evasive for some reason.
"Can I help?" Gary asked, leaning his head back so he could see his grandfather.
Professor Oak looked taken aback for a moment. "Um, actually, Gary, why don't you and May go out and get some more Halloween decorations? It's been awhile since we actually went all out for Halloween; all we have is some pumpkins and fake spiders."
Gary frowned at him, slightly suspicious of why exactly he needed Tracey's help but not his. As far as his excuse for Halloween decorations went, they hadn't gone "all out" since he was ten and Halloween was only two weeks away. Finally, he shrugged and agreed as Tracey stood up and followed Professor Oak out of the room.
Sighing, Gary tossed his controller down and turned off the console. He leaned back against the couch and gazed moodily around the room, he had been in here a lot the past week since Michelle's birthday party. He was constantly trying to keep himself distracted – playing video games that he couldn't stand with May and Tracey, playing pool or air hockey with Anna and Michelle – anything to keep him from thinking about what was going on between himself and Tracey and Anna.
'How the hell did I get myself into this situation?' He couldn't keep the thought from circulating through his mind constantly. It was just sex after all, that was all that had happened with Tracey, simply two friends screwing around.
'So why do you keep sneaking off with him?' A small voice in the back of mind sneered at him. 'Why do you trust him so much? Why do you keep seeking out his company?'
All questions Gary couldn't bring himself to answer.
He was constantly torn between Anna and Tracey this past week. There hadn't been a single day that Anna hadn't come by and there was simply no escaping Tracey when they lived under the same roof. He'd spent his mornings and early afternoons hanging out with Tracey, sometimes slipping off to the privacy of one of their bedrooms to make out or more. Then Anna would come over in the late afternoon and they would spend the afternoon and evening hanging out or having sex. He took comfort in the fact that he could at least be open with the fact that he and Anna did sexual things with each other, whereas he couldn't help but hide what went on with him and Tracey.
Part of him didn't want to admit that he was attracted to the boy, that he had willingly let him see past the walls he had meticulously built around himself, that he had allowed the boy to pleasure him while he eagerly returned the favor. Another part of him wished he could just accept that it had happened and either cut off this sexuality between them or take it further. But that opened the door to another dilemma for him; he didn't want a boyfriend, or did he? It wasn't any different from having a girlfriend, except for the fact that there was no vagina involved.
'But that's exactly it,' he thought to himself. 'I'm not attracted to him like that, I wasn't even attracted to Andrew like that and I was so much closer to Andrew than I am to Tracey!'
He knew it could go further if he just gave in, but he remained consistently indecisive about why he was holding back so much. A relationship would trap him. A relationship with Tracey would keep him away from Anna, which wasn't what he wanted.
Would a relationship with Anna keep him away from Tracey? Or would he just did what he had done with Kate, screw around with a person he was attracted to and then just go on dates, never going further than kisses and caresses?
He sincerely doubted that would happen - he and Anna just didn't have the ability to keep their hands to themselves around each other. He had to constantly remind himself of the differences between Kate and the other people he had been attracted to. There was a gaping distance between him and Kate that didn't exist with either Tracey or Anna – he was entirely open with them, or as close to it as he was capable of.
There was nothing other than friendship between him and Kate, though he had tried to convince himself otherwise – there was a genuine spark between him and Tracey, an electric sensation that ran through them both when they touched. There was a fire between him and Anna, a burning passion that was constantly building between them, growing to a climax of nearly volcanic proportions at times.
'All fires burn out eventually,' Gary had told himself, terrified of the thought that something would happen between him and Anna to tear them apart.
'But only when you remove the fuel,' that sneering voice in his mind reminded him.
The question was, what was the fuel that held him to Anna?
Was it true passion or was it something darker, deeper – their pain that was constantly hidden in the depths of the abyss they had each created for themselves to hide in? What if that abyss grew deeper and swallowed them whole, drowning that fire?
It was a fear that threatened to take over him but he constantly suppressed it, tucking it away in the back of his mind. It would remain his secret.
… … …
Tracey was surprised when the professor led him straight through the lab and into his office, closing the door behind him. He sat down nervously, knowing that this must be very serious. His apprehensions lightened as Professor Oak smiled at him.
"I see you and Gary have become rather close lately," he said cheerfully.
'Closer than you think,' Tracey thought to himself as he nodded in response.
"That's good because I need your help, May's going to help too, she just doesn't know that yet."
Tracey frowned in confusion, what could May do in the lab to help them that Gary couldn't do?
Professor Oak continued on, oblivious to Tracey's confusion. "Gary's birthday is coming up in the beginning of December; right after the university lets out for their winter break. I figure, since he'll be turning eighteen, we should do something special."
Tracey knew where this was going. This was why the professor hadn't let Gary "help" him this afternoon. "You want to have a surprise party, don't you?"
"Exactly!"
"Are you sure that won't just irritate him?"
Professor Oak laughed. "Don't worry; I'm working on something that'll act as insurance that he won't kill us for this, that's another matter that we will discuss in a few minutes. Anyway, I'm sure you remember Dr. Harris?"
Tracey nodded, he had met the man several times while he worked with Professor Oak on different research projects and also during a few visits to Sinnoh. "He's helping with the party?" He asked in confusion.
"Of course – "
"Why?"
"Because two of Gary's old roommates work with him in the lab at the school so he can get in touch with people who would want to be here for the party. And he's the closest thing Gary's had to a father since he was a child - he was very close friends with my son and his wife, girlfriend at the time, when they went to school in Sinnoh. Anyway, I'm getting off track, Alex – er, Dr. Harris – and I are in the process of beginning a new study and, if all goes well, we'll be setting up a very diverse research team. That's the insurance that Gary won't be entirely ready to kill me when he realizes a surprise birthday party was my idea."
"You want Gary to be a part of this research team?"
"Of course, you saw the results of his work at Sayda Island, Tracey! Anyway, we would need someone to handle the genetics part of the project and Gary's major was in genetics." Tracey could hear the pride in his voice as the old man spoke of his grandson's achievements. "You would be involved in this too, of course, if you want. An accomplished lab assistant is always needed."
Tracey grinned at the indirect compliment. "What type of research project is this going to be anyway?"
Professor Oak returned Tracey's grin with a sly smirk. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see, Tracey. You'll know soon enough."
… … …
"Grandpa wants us to go out and buy Halloween decorations."
May looked up at Gary with a frown. "We still have two weeks before the Halloween party, we usually just get some streamers and spider webs."
She had been lying on her bed and playing on her laptop when Gary had appeared in her doorway, looking slightly irritated.
Gary shook his head. "He insinuated that he wants us to go 'all out' this year, I was thinking we could do something gory. What were you saying about a party?"
"The Halloween party me and the girls always have, complete with costumes." She winked as Gary narrowed his eyes slightly. "By gory, do you mean Cannibal Corpse gory or Dawn of the Dead gory?"
"Cannibal Corpse gory would probably give Gramps a heart attack; we should probably stay away from that. I just meant something more gruesome than just gravestones and spider webs, that's kind of generic."
May laughed softly. "You are dressing up for the party right?"
"If you insist, yes." Gary rolled his eyes. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Halloween's on a Saturday this year, right?" May nodded. "Party's on Saturday then, right?" Another nod.
"Are you thinking of inviting Andrew, Chris, and Chelsea? That would be a pretty good idea, you haven't seen them since August."
Gary shook his head. "They wouldn't be able to come for the weekend this late in the semester. Midterms were just a few weeks ago, they're probably going crazy with work."
May nodded, thinking of an idea that would certainly make her Halloween party interesting. "You know what? We should probably have Anna help us come up with some ideas for the decorations."
Gary glanced at May's clock, it was only a little after eleven in the morning. "You know she's probably not even up yet."
"So? Go over to her house and wake her up. Bring her back here, we can plan and then go out."
Gary groaned, why did he get the feeling everyone was trying to get rid of him today? "Fine, I'll go get her. Don't expect me to be back anytime soon though!"
May laughed. "I know, I know. Anna takes forever to get ready in the mornings. Take your time."
She waited until she heard the car start and the garage door close behind it before going to the phone and dialing the number she knew by heart from calling her brother so often when he was in school.
The phone rang only twice before a petite girl with long brown hair appeared on the screen.
"Hey, Chelsea!" She greeted the girl cheerfully.
"May! Long time no see, girl! What's up?"
"Actually, I was wondering if you guys had plans for Halloween. We're having a party over here and I know Gary would love to see you guys."
"We were just going to dress up and hit the bars, but I'm sure we could take a little field trip down to Pallet." She paused, thinking for a moment. "You know, none of us even have classes on Fridays this semester, we could get permission from Dr. Harris to get out of classes on Thursday and Monday so we could stay a few days."
"No Friday classes, huh? You guys down phased to a lighter schedule or something?" May asked, remembering how Gary and his three roommates had always had a full schedule.
Chelsea nodded. "After everything that happened last semester, I figured it would probably be best to take only a few classes. Andrew and Chris only have two classes each this semester."
"Awesome." May paused for a moment, surprised to hear Gary's car turn onto the street after only ten minutes. She cursed softly, not wanting him to know about his friends coming.
Chelsea smiled at the curse. "I take it this is supposed to be a surprise for Gary?"
"Yeah. Listen, I'll talk to Grandpa for you guys and see about maybe using the helicopter he uses for research and whatnot to pick you guys up on that Thursday so you don't have to drive. I'll call Alex and see about getting you guys out of class."
"Sounds good, chica. Talk to you soon."
May disconnected just as Gary and Anna walked into her room.
"That was fast, I wasn't expecting you guys for at least another three hours." May looked at them quizzically.
"I've been getting up earlier, I was already dressed and everything when Gary got there," Anna explained.
They spent an hour or two planning before driving May's car and driving to Viridian City to go to some of the stores there to get decorations. May never told Gary about her phone conversation with Chelsea.
… … …
"What was it my grandfather needed help with yesterday?"
Tracey sighed as he pulled himself onto a higher branch in the tree, he hadn't thought up an excuse to give Gary. "Oh, it wasn't anything important – just helping him bandage up a pokemon."
Gary and Tracey were in a large tree near the front walk, hanging bats and spider webs from the branches while May and Anna set up a graveyard, complete with scattered bones, at the foot of the tree.
"He couldn't do that by himself?" Gary asked doubtfully, looking down at Tracey has he stretched a particularly large web across the braches over his head.
"It was pretty bad. Two of the nidorinos were fighting for dominance again," Tracey lied, nervously looking down at the girls below him so that Gary wouldn't notice the anxious expression.
"Funny, he didn't seem too worried when he asked you for help," Gary said doubtfully, as he dropped a fake spider down onto May, who was standing below him. He smiled as she screamed and shook the spider off of her shirt before glaring up at her younger brother.
Tracey looked up as Gary dropped down onto the branch he was sitting on. "Liar," he whispered, leaning close to Tracey.
The words were teasing and his tone was light, but Tracey could sense annoyance beyond the words as he met Gary's eyes. Tracey warily watched in silence as Gary carefully balanced on the thick branch, hanging a large bat from the branch over their heads.
The afternoon passed slowly for Tracey as they spent the rest of the day decorating the yard and the house. He could tell that Gary knew he was hiding something and, despite the fact that Gary didn't show it, Tracey knew that he was angry with him for it.
He found himself in May's room late that evening, hoping for advice on what to do. The house was eerily quiet while he sat on the purple window seat with May sitting across from him on a blue loveseat. Gary and Anna had gone out someplace for dinner so May and Tracey could freely talk without worrying about Gary interrupting them.
"He's not mad at you," May assured him. "He's just kind of irritated because he can tell you're lying. It'll pass soon; he probably won't even be annoyed with you tomorrow."
"I doubt he'll just forget about it, May."
"Oh I never said he would forget about it, he'll just get over it after he and Anna have sex." She thought for a moment, trying to think of something that would help Tracey out. She'd had experience keeping secrets and surprises from her brother and knew exactly how to act, Tracey didn't though, and the surprise her grandfather was expecting Tracey to help him with wasn't a small one.
"I'll let you in on a secret of my own, Trace, then you can take some of the credit and we can pass it off as the thing you were lying to him about. You know Dr. Harris is coming a couple days before Halloween, right?" Tracey nodded. "Well, the reason he's coming is because I invited a few of Gary's friends to stay here a few days but Gary has no idea about this. We'll just tell him that you helped plan this and he'll forget about this whole little thing. He won't even suspect the party in December."
… … …
::Author's Notes::
Unless you're a metalhead, you probably didn't understand May's inquiry regarding gore for their Halloween decorations. Cannibal Corpse gory would refer to Cannibal Corpse's album covers, which usually involve lots of entrails and blood. Dawn of the Dead gory would refer to typical zombie gore. In case anyone was wondering, no I do not picture Gary liking Cannibal Corpse – he's too vain and pretty for that. : )