As she placed the key in the flat door she looked down up and Nick and sighed, she couldn't bring herself to do it. He looked at her and saw the fear and torture in her tearful eyes, he knew exactly what she was thinking and what she was worried about.
He moved her out of the way of the door gently and pushed the door open slowly, "Are you sure you're ready for this?" Nick whispered as he tightened his grip on her hand.
"I've got to do it Nick, I've got to move on." As she put one foot in front of the other she walked through the door and relaxed her body, she closed her eyes and inhaled the smell. It still smelt the same as before the attack, nothing had changed, including the memories, this was just one more layer on top of a pile of pain, regret and loss.
She placed the baby carrier on the floor beside her and walked over to the kitchen, as she took a deep breath she looked over at Nick and a tear fell down her cheek. He walked over to her and pulled her into his warm embrace, she could hear his heart beating in his chest as she sobbed against his shirt, the same shirt he wore when they first got together.
He placed a kiss on her forehead and rubbed her back, "You can do this, you've come this far." He whispered as he released her and nodded his head. "I'm so proud of you." He said as he placed his forehead on hers.
"Can you erm." She paused and looked at the corner of the kitchen where the attack had took place, "Can you clean over there whilst I sort Catrin." He smiled at her and placed one last kiss on her cheek before walking into the kitchen.
She walked over to Catrin and wiped her tears away and placed her into her arms, "Shall we change your nappy." Carla said cheerfully as she bounced Catrin up and down, which made her laugh. Nick looked over and smiled, he always knew Carla was strong but he never thought she was this strong.
An hour had passed and Carla and Catrin had fell asleep on the sofa, Nick walked over to them and placed a kiss on Carla's forehead which woke her up, "Hey you." She whispered as she placed her palm on his cheek, "How long have I been asleep."
"Only an hour." Nick said as he leant down and kissed her lips, "How are you feeling?" He said anxiously, trying not to make her feel uncomfortable.
"I'm fine." She whispered as she looked down at Catrin and began playing with her thick brown hair.
Nick placed a finger under her chin and made her look up at him, "I know what that means remember." He laughed, "Seriously, you know you can talk to me don't you." She nodded her head contently and looked back down at the bundle of joy she held in her arms.
Nick laid down on the sofa beside her and placed her head on his chest, she curled her body into his and placed Catrin in between them. As she began to play with Nicks hair they sat in a comfortable silence both of them knowing what the other was thinking.
"Nick." Carla whispered as she placed her hand down on Nick's chest, he turned his head towards her and smiled.
"I know I said that I could do this and I know that I said I could move on but being here, being in this room. I can do it but it will always be there. It will always be in my mind now matter what I do, so I think we need to move." She said cautiously.
"Okay." He whispered as he ran his fingers up and down her spine.
"Okay? So your happy just to leave? Even though I said no so many times." She said as she sat up and leant against his chest.
"Where you go I go and if you want to leave then I'll leave." He whispered as he kissed the side of her head and pulled her head back into his chest.
"But I don't want to move to a flat, I want to move into a house where Catrin can play in the garden and the kids can have their own rooms."
"Kids." Nick laughed as he cut her off.
"Well yes, we need to have another one or she'll get lonely."
"That's not the reason you want to have kids." He said softly, "You want to have another baby don't you." He laughed, "Carla Connor wants more kids, I'd of never thought it."
She smacked him playfully around the head and let out a small laugh, "I don't want one yet, I mean Catrins only 4 months, but I'd want another soon so there wasn't a big age gap." She said as she played with the buttons on his shirt.
"That can be arranged." He said as he picked up the TV remote and turned on the television. "Now what do you want to watch?" He said as he brought up the TV guide.
"Anything." She muttered as she wrapped her leg over his and shuffled closer into him.
"I'll just put the news on then." He said placing the remote down on the coffee table.
"Turn it up." Carla demanded as she sat up and saw the TV screen. It was Robert. "They've caught him." Carla gasped as tears began to fill in her eyes.