"Darien"

Author's Note: So, when does the 'romance' part come into play? Well, since things are just starting out for these two, things are tentative and clumsy. Yes, Hope is a little naive. What she thinks is love is merely a crush, but given time...who knows? *coughthewritercough* Probably only one or two chapters to go after this one. Thanks for sticking with me!

"Chapter 14: Reaching Out"

While everyone else was finishing up for the day and going home, one member of the Care Bear Family was just starting his 'day'. Bedtime Bear peered through the Star-o-Scope, stifling a yawn and yearning for the warmth of his bed. Though he was often called the sleepiest Care Bear, he was as active during the night as any of the others were during the day. This didn't mean that he was always wide awake when he headed out for his nightly Missions, though.

"It looks like this will be another quiet night." he commented to himself, turning away from the 'Scope and walking over to his Cloudmobile. Out of the corner of his eye, Bedtime spotted someone approaching the edge of the clouds at full speed, and he normally wouldn't have thought anything of it. Occasionally, when the Caring Meter gave an urgent warning, several Family members would converge on the Star-o-Scope to see what the trouble was. They almost always did so at a run, and they always gave themselves plenty of room to slow down before they were anywhere near the edge. What gave Bedtime pause was the fact that the one he saw was none other than Darien, who had no way of knowing that he was about to make the ultimate skydive. The blue bear gasped, bolting to intercept the lion, waving his arms and shouting, "Stop! Stop!"

But Darien either couldn't hear him, or he didn't care to listen. Seeing that there was no way he would be able to reach him in time to prevent a terrible accident, Bedtime Bear thought quickly; he sent a Stare directly across Darien's path, the bright beam illuminating the night and highlighting the clouds' edge. Hopefully it would startle him enough to make him stop...

The lion had enough time to stop, but he didn't have enough time to do it gracefully. He windmilled his arms as his inertia carried him forward, dumping him on his face. Luckily his landing was soft, and when he pushed himself up on his elbows he was sporting a cloud beard. He quickly brushed it off when he saw Bedtime Bear running over. Knowing that the strange light was only a Care Bear Stare brought some measure of relief, especially since it had kept him from running off the edge, but Darien was not in the mood for company. He was on his feet before the bear reached him, and he extended a paw, palm-out, in a 'talk to the hand' gesture.

"Are you okay?" asked Bedtime, concerned.

Instead of answering him, Darien turned to look at the edge of the clouds, which was about fifteen feet away. He took a step towards it, gazing down at the Earth below. Jumping wasn't on his mind, not by a long shot, but more than ever he wanted to get down to Earth.

The bear frowned in worry when he saw traces of tears drying on the lion's face, and he reached out and gripped his shoulder. "Are you--"

Before Bedtime could get any further than that, Darien swatted his paw away and took several quick steps backwards. "Don't touch me!"

"Okay, I'm sorry..." Bedtime held up his hands and backed up a little, clearly at a loss. Darien wasn't crying now, but he was definitely very agitated, and the bear didn't want to provoke him any further. Not when they were so close to the edge! "Listen, if you need a lift home--"

Laughing shortly, Darien quipped, "What's home?" He saw that Bedtime wasn't sure what he meant by this and, not much caring, he began to pace slowly back and forth like a caged beast. His arms were folded across his chest, and his tail was lashing with such force that its passage through the air was audible. Back and forth he paced, giving no indication that he knew Bedtime was still there. The bear cautiously maneuvered himself between the lion and the edge.

The fear and the sadness that Darien always experienced from such dreams had receded...mostly. Left behind in its place was anger; anger and helplessness. It wouldn't do him any good to whine about the past, for things would still be as they are, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. And now he was stuck in this absurd place, surrounded by creatures of his own kind who wanted to be his friends. Well, most of them did. Maybe. The trouble was--and he was realizing this a little late--he didn't really want any new friends. If it wasn't for Samuel, his concept of the word 'friend' would be nearly non-existent.

Bedtime shook his head helplessly, craning his neck to see when he heard the sound of an approaching Cloudmobile.

"Land here." Soulful Heart pointed, having spotted Darien and Bedtime.

Hope obediently landed the car and quickly got out, followed by Soulful. "Darien! There you are. You shouldn't go running around like that, not before you know where the clouds end."

Darien froze at the sound of her voice, and he slowly turned his head in her direction. He briefly locked eyes with her before turning his back, running a paw through his mane several times in what almost seemed to be a nervous tick.

Darien's look in their direction had been quick, but it was long enough for Soulful Heart to read his expression. Fear. Desperation to be helped. Reluctance to accept that help. Anger. Sadness. Grief. The fox couldn't discern the reasons behind these emotions, and he knew that Hope and Bedtime couldn't see anything other than the fact that Darien was distressed. And, while he wasn't completely unsympathetic, he could see that Darien wouldn't say a word with this many witnesses. The only one the lion had made eye contact with was Hope.

In less time than it takes to tell, the fox assessed his dilemma. Whatever he thought of Darien personally--and he didn't exactly dislike him--he couldn't simply let things stay as they were. The one Darien was most likely to open up to was Hope, but could the fox really leave his 'niece' alone with him? No...he couldn't do that either. Perhaps a compromise...

Hope jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to face Soulful Heart.

The fox lightly jerked his head in Darien's direction, whispering, "Talk to him, Hopie. We'll leave you two alone. I've got my cell phone with me, so I'm just a phone call away."

Hope nodded, swallowing hard as Soulful and Bedtime went their separate ways; Bedtime left to begin his Missions, and Soulful walked away until he heard Hope turn and approach Darien. The minute her back was turned, he left the path and hid behind a bush. He told himself that he wasn't spying on them; he was merely ensuring Hope's safety.

'Okay,' Hope silently told herself, 'I can do this. This is the same guy I talked to by the Rainbow River that night. Nothing to be afraid of. But supposing he doesn't want to talk...what if he yells at me? Ahhh, grow a backbone, Hope! He needs help, so go help him, ya big chicken!'

Darien's mind was quickly becoming more rational, and he was doing his best to look like he wasn't worried about anything. 'When I yelled at the one who was there when I woke up...ahh, damn, it was her! And she's coming over! Yeah, good one, Darien...'

"I...didn't mean to spook you just now." Hope offered lamely.

Darien raised his eyebrows and turned to face her, plastering on a rather unconvincing fake smile. "I see you're talkin' to me again." The set of his ears and the way his tail was lashing betrayed him, and his smile faded when he saw that he wasn't fooling her. He sighed, spreading his hands helplessly and shaking his head. "What do you want?"

"I..." Hope shook her head, feeling a pain flare up in her chest. "I just want to help you."

He closed his eyes, shaking his head more forcefully, his face taking on a pained grimace. "Look, just leave me alone..." He moved away from the edge of the clouds, heading for a comfortable-looking cloud bank. Hope watched him as he sat down, resting his elbows on his knees and cupping his chin in his hands.

No. She might not be able to get an explanation from him, but she couldn't just leave him like this. She knew she might be taking a big risk, but she cautiously walked over and sat down beside him. He lifted his head and half-glared at her, but he saw that she was simply sitting there and staring out over the clouds. He waited for her to say something, to try to worm out of him what had made him scream, but she didn't say a word. 'Just what in hell is she up to, anyway?' he thought, nervously beginning to jiggle his knee up and down as he turned his head away. 'If she's not here to talk, just what does she want from me?'

Several minutes passed in silence, and Darien gradually grew calmer. Soon he stopped jiggling his knee, and he stole an almost-shy glance at Hope, only to catch her stealing a glance at him. She looked down, blushing as he caught her staring, and he finally spoke. "I...I'm sorry."

"Hm?" she raised her head. "What, for hitting my uncle?"

"Tch...that too, but I'm tired of apologizin' for that one." Darien cracked a smile. "Naw...I mean, I'm sorry for...well, for yellin' at ya. For tellin' ya to get away. Didn't know who it was, and I just reacted." He finished in a mumble.

"Oh..." Hope nodded slowly, oddly touched by his apology. "Don't worry about it. But I have to ask...what happened?"

He had been dreading this question, but he expected it when she sat down beside him. He shifted uncomfortably, rubbing a palm across his forehead. "Had a dream...'bout something that happened a couple years ago."

Hope nodded, looking at him expectantly, but saying nothing. Seeing that she wasn't going to prod him to know more, Darien realized two things. First of all, this was a great relief and it took a lot of pressure off of him. Second of all, he found that he wanted to continue speaking.

"When I was livin' on Earth...I...I...had a human friend. Mentioned him before, to Noble Heart, and I think to that Bedtime guy. And..." he sighed, "This is stupid..."

Hope wasn't quite sure if he meant that having a human friend was stupid, or if talking about it was stupid; instead of contradicting him, she asked, "What was his name?"

He didn't speak right away, and he seemed a bit caught off guard by the question. "Samuel...his name was Samuel."

"You said 'was'..." Hope pointed out gently. He looked over at her and slowly nodded. Then, blinking rapidly, he looked away again. Hope, aware that she might have been taking a bit of a risk, reached over and gently gripped his paw. "Tell me about him."

"Eh...what's to tell? He was old...Cursed like a sailor, too. Never had to watch my mouth around him. Unlike here..." he said, somehow making it sound like he was simply stating a fact and not being insulting, "We had each other's backs, ya know? I mean, we didn't really have anyone else, and it kinda made things easier, havin' him around to talk to. Heh..." he chuckled softly, rocking back a bit. "Man, he was funny. Didn't matter what was goin' on, he could always find the funny part of the situation."

"He sounds nice." Hope smiled.

"Heh...Once ya got to know the man, ain't no one nicer." Darien told her, and his smile was more than a little sad. "Guess you wanna know what I was dreamin' about..."

Hope shrugged, but her face showed interest. "Only if you wanna tell me."

Darien's heart was pounding now, for a few different reasons. Her closeness and the fact that she was holding his hand certainly played a part; but just remembering that tall, almost demonic stranger, and the role he played in the mayhem that led to Samuel's death played an even bigger part. Feeling his throat beginning to constrict and his palms getting clammy, he took several deep breaths. "Yeah...I guess I do."

But he didn't continue right away. Supposing she didn't believe him? "You'll prolly just think I'm crazy..." he mumbled.

"Try me."

"One night I woke up...Back then, I was up at night and asleep durin' the day. Like that Bedtime fella. Well...I woke up, and Samuel was gone...went off somewhere, I dunno. And...this...this tall guy with glowing red eyes came outta nowhere, let all these weird ghost-shadow things go, and he..." Darien clenched his free paw into a fist, suddenly terrified that she wouldn't believe him. "He turned into a bird an' flew away. I swear he did."

Hope's mouth went dry, and she was shocked into silence. When she didn't speak, he mistook her silence for skepticism. His hands began to shake and the palm of the one she was holding became positively slick with sweat. She gave his paw a squeeze, and forced her almost-numb mouth to form words. "Darien...I believe you."

"Y...ya do?" he looked up.

"Mm-hmm. We've met him. Oh, many times. Believe me, he exists, and you're not crazy."

Darien was embarrassed to find that his eyes were beginning to sting with unshed tears. He cleared his throat, looking away again, and kept a firm grip on her hand. Well, as firm a grip as he could manage with the way his own was trembling...

"But...that's not all, is it?" she said gently. Then she paled when the trembling in his hands filled his entire body.

'Not now...Don't lose control now, you idiot!' he thought in desperation.

Hope watched with no small amount of fear as Darien pressed his lips together and stared fixedly at the horizon, breathing rapidly in and out through his nose. She could see his eyes take on a strange shine before liquid began to well up in the lower rims. He tilted his chin a bit higher to keep it from spilling, but his efforts were in vain. He suddenly pulled his paw out of hers, jamming his palms against his eyes and half-turning away. "Gah, dammit!" he croaked, and before Hope could utter a word his shoulders and back began to shake in rhythmic spasms.

'He's...he's crying!' Hope realized in horror before mentally kicking herself. 'Well, what did you expect? He just told you a painful secret, at your urging. You wanted to help him, so do it and stop being such a ninny!'

Darien was in hell. He was remembering things he wished a thousand times over that he could forget, and now he had broken down and started crying in front of her. He had wanted her to think of him as strong, as worthy, and now there was no chance of that at all. He fought to control himself, and then wept all the more because he couldn't. He was sad, he was angry, and above all he was humiliated. This was a new depth of misery he never knew existed, and he wished that the clouds would just swallow him up. At least he was able to keep it silent...

He jumped a little as he felt her lay a tentative hand on his back, holding it there, then rubbing back and forth.

"It's okay..." she murmured, "You don't have to say anymore..."

This destroyed whatever control he had left and, with a sharp gasp he gritted his teeth and leaned forward, cradling his forehead in his palms. He shook his head, a final protest against his rebelling body, and gave up the struggle. Hope said not a word, and continued to gently rub his back.

Soulful Heart, from his hiding place, lowered his ears and looked away. This was getting a little too personal, and Hope clearly wasn't in any danger. This wasn't for him to witness. He got to his feet without a sound and walked off, silently pondering what he had just seen.

To be continued...

Author's Note: Yes, another one. Sorry for yet another sad chapter, but things will get better after this!