New Pigtailed Loops 3
Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
This group is based on a Groundhog's Day concept, if time was looping, and certain members were aware of this.
These are their insanities.
New Loop #1:
Ranma blinked as he looked down at his hands. As he stood and spotted his reflection on a partially shattered window from the battle, he had to admit one thing to himself.
Perhaps a close-quarters battle with Darkseid hadn't been his smartest choice.
"That you, Ranma?"
Blinking, he turned to face Green Lantern Nabiki—the Guardians were still miffed at him for not explaining how he could make Green Lanterns without their knowledge and to be honest, he doubted they were ready to know he had all of the varied colored Main Lanterns on one of his worlds in his pocket universe. Beside her, standing on wobbly legs from Superman, released from the Agony Matrix.
"Yeah?" he spoke, before his hand went to his throat, hearing the sound he had just made. "Okay, this is pretty fucked up right here."
"Saotome, you look like—"
"I know what I look like," growled Ranma. "Damn it, do you have any idea how long this is going to take to fix?"
"What happened?" asked Superman.
"Oh, the evil bastard knew I had him, so he tried to force his soul into my body," commented Ranma, concentrating to shift his damaged clothes into his usual silk style. Say what you will about the people of Apokolips, they had zero fashion sense.
"DAKSEID!"
Ranma spun around, catching the extended fist of Orion, showing no sign that any force had been applied. "Let's not do this, okay? I've had a real bad day so far."
"Do not think New Genesis will allow this assault to go unchallenged!" bellowed the New God, anger in his voice.
Sighing at the obvious fact Orion was in a berserker mode and not feeling like knocking some sense into the New God after a prolonged battle that would probably leave Metropolis a crater in the ground, Ranma finished it quickly in the fashion of Anything Goes.
"ACK!" came the higher-pitched tone of Orion, as the New God and second son of Darkseid received a boot to the groin.
Even Superman winced at that, his own legs locking closer together. "Was that really necessary, Saotome?"
"Yes, I believe it was," he replied. "Now while I go deal with me 'loyal' henchmen, could you please explain to this idiot I am not Darkseid, I just merely absorbed him."
"Impossible," squeaked Orion, coughing and trying to keep from vomiting from his injury. "The soul of a New God would overpower and shatter your weak human soul. Even if your soul somehow survived, his mind would still be dominant."
Dark-Ranma just shrugged, putting on a cocky grin far more like Ranma than Darkseid. "What can I say, I'm great like that." Though I do wonder, where is that ass's soul at?
"It was so nice for my love to do this for me," smiled Lilith, as she attached the clip of a leash to her newest toy. "I always wanted a gimp!"
The former Dark Lord of Apokolips could only growl. One day, Saotome would pay for this humiliation…
"Speak!"
"Release me and I shall make your death quick."
"Someone needs a time out! Oh! And a nice pink outfit! That blue so does not make you look cute."
New Loop #2:
"Okay," groused Nabiki, already feeling a major headache from this trip inside Ranma's pocket universe—namely because of her two sisters and the latest trio to 'awake' in their Loop, "please tell me I did not just see ships from the Shadows and the Vorlons?"
Lilith just smirked as she piloted their craft towards their target planet. "Yep, including the Pos ships."
"Pos?" asked Kasumi.
Nabiki just waved her off. "Pieces of shit; alien raced sealed in another dimension that wiped the floor with First Ones until they tried it with Ranma."
Lilith just nodded with a happy smile. So nice to have a lover/host capable of such … carnage. And he brought back such nice toys for her to play with. I'll have to consider having a few of them brought to New Makai when they finish making it. They scream ever so lovely in the physical and astral worlds…
"Of course they lose to Airen," said Shampoo, trying to ignore the strangeness that was happening around her. Apparently, she had been misinformed about a few things concerning her beloved: like how he was much stronger than before, controlled a pocket universe, defeated aliens, and had a demon living inside him.
Still, he was related to Genma. If she could forgive him for that, this was way easier to forgive. Besides, … it was a sex demon. Perhaps her Airen would finally submit to her charms.
"Oh, Ran-chan is so going to say a few things when we get back," growled Ukyo, fingering her bandolier of mini-spatulas.
"You plebian fools doubted the true worth of Ranma-sama," murmured Kodachi, staring at the beauty of the sleek black vessels that were nearby, feeling drawn to them. "But of course he would be a God among men. OH HOHOHOHO!"
"Why the hell did we have to bring them?" grumbled Akane.
"Because Ranma insists you guys get some extra practice with things not of Nerima," replied Nabiki. "We've been stuck in the Nerima Loops for almost a decade now. We'll enter a fused Loop sooner or later, and you guys need the practice."
"And Ranma's magic jewelry will help us?" snorted Akane.
"Oh, but magic jewelry is always strong," offered Kasumi. "After all, didn't that Reversal Jewel finally make you confess your feelings for Ranma?"
Said Tendo just blushed, hoping everyone had forgotten about that.
"Okay everyone, a quick rundown," Nabiki stated, turning around and garnering the attention of her two sisters and the trio of additional fiancées, while mentally cursing Ranma for giving her this job.
Hell, it wasn't like she'd been the one to go to the Kaminoans with Ranma's DNA samples and brain scan for a clone army. That had been all Naruto. I gotta ask what I did to deserve this shit.
"We're going to a Planet 4 in System 2," she said.
"What are their names, Sugar?" asked Ukyo. "I mean, every series has them with some name."
"They aren't named yet," inserted Lilith. "All that means right now is that it is the second star Ranma had here in his pocket universe and the fourth planet orbiting it."
"Continuing on," started Nabiki once again, "this planet has Eight Main Power Batteries for the eight Lantern Corps from another universe. Each ring or staff is powered by a certain emotion. We are going to only be stopping in range to receive your Green Lantern Rings and perhaps Blue Lantern rings."
"What emotions power them?" asked Kasumi.
"Green is powered by willpower," said Nabiki, showing them hers. "Blue is powered by hope. Together, they boost one another, so it is Ranma's hope that all of you will get both so he can train you."
"Where's your blue one?" asked Kodachi.
"I … I don't have one yet."
"Maybe Mercenary Girl need greedy ring?" offered Shampoo.
Her eye twitching, only two things kept her from responding to that barb. First was that as far as the newest girls knew, Nabiki was the Ice Queen Mercenary of Furinkan, having only their memories from the first iteration of the timeline and their current Looped experiences, which basically amounted to a year or two in Nerima.
The second was she didn't want to cause a hull breach. She didn't know if the space between stars in Ranma's pocket universe was a vacuum, but she wasn't quite willing to find out yet.
"The greedy ring is orange," stated Nabiki. "Orange is avarice, red is rage—no jokes about my little sister, please," she said, quickly silencing the comments about to come from the three girls. "Yellow is fear, indigo is compassion, violet is love, and black is death."
"But you said before that Ranma-sama has all of these powers," questioned Kodachi. "Does this mean my dearest Ranma-sama has conquered death itself?"
Lilith chuckled for a moment. "It means Ranma has mastered the use of death ki, which has many different names across the multiverse. Since it can usually only be controlled by souls split from the mortal coil, he is able to wield it without being killed. And as he has mastered his emotions, thus he is able to use the other Lanterns without their weaknesses inflicting him."
"How he learn to master death ki?" asked Shampoo.
"Shinigami training," replied Nabiki, wondering if her one loop as a Shinigami was enough to receive a ring now? Oh well, it'd cause too much trouble with them now.
I just hope a Red Lantern Ring doesn't choose Kasumi. I'd rather not see what the Ring of Rage would do to her.
"So we're getting powers because Ranma stole these?" asked Akane.
"We took them before their current universe reset, Little Sister," offered Nabiki. "When it did, it recreated them as they were before. They were never even missed."
"Doesn't that violate some laws of the universe?" asked Kasumi.
Lilith and Nabiki both shrugged.
"Hey, you're awake, so now it's time to be trained in a shitload of powers," offered Nabiki, ignoring Kasumi's shocked gasp that her sister had cursed. "Anyone who wants out, say so now."
"Shampoo prove she strongest for Airen!"
"No way, your ramen hussy! Ran-chan will see how well his cute fiancée does with these powers."
"OH HOHOHOHO! You fools will always pale in comparison to the Black Rose!"
"Was that wise?" asked Lilith.
"Better they beat the shit out of each other now than when we give them super rings."
"True."
Akane just held her forehead in her hands, wondering why things had to get so complicated, never imagining she would wish for things to be like they had been before in Nerima.
New Loop #3:
"Okay, Saotome," sighed Nabiki, "while I'm glad Skuld isn't here…"
He had to agree with her. Large tech-battles like this were a bigger turn-on to the Norn Goddess of the Future than a hot body was to a sex demon.
"But this has to be one of the most fucked up Fused Loops I have ever seen."
"I won't let this go any further, Master Asia!" yelled Domon Kasshu inside God Gundam.
"If you feel the strength to defeat me, then come and do battle, Domon, and face the Undefeated of the East," stated Master Asia inside the Master Gundam.
"Then it has been agreed!" stated a small grey-haired man as he popped up on the field from within a small tree. "This will be a submission robattle. The first Medabot to cease functioning loses, and the loser must submit one Medapart to the winner, for keeps. I shall act as referee, me Mr. Referee, so no one gets hurt. Medafighters ready? Medabots, robattle!"
"This isn't a Robattle!" yelled Nabiki.
"… Then it's agreed! This will be a submission Gundam Battle. The first Gundam to cease functioning loses, and the loser must submit one Gundam part to the winner, for keeps. I shall act as referee, me Mr. Referee, so no one gets hurt. Gundam Fighters ready? Gundams, Gundam Battle!"
Ranma just shrugged. "It just doesn't have the same ring to it as—ouch! Well, he was the one that thought he could referee a Gundam fight from inside the force field."
New Loop #4:
Ranma sat, meditating, becoming one with the chi of the Earth. Unlike tapping into the Dragon Lines, he had no worry about blowing up the planet if something happened now. It was simple communing with the planet, getting a feel for it and what it felt on a primal level.
"I swear, if these fuckers bury one more dirty diaper in me, I'm gonna go 10.0 on their asses!"
No one said Mother Nature only spoke properly or didn't have a temper.
Sadly, his internal relaxation was cut off once again by an angry tomboy. "What is it, Akane?" he asked, sensing her approach.
"How come Nabiki can do that weird red-eye thing?" she demanded.
"Define 'red-eye thing'," he asked.
"She called it the ninja Sharingan."
"Oh, she's accessing an ability she got in the Naruto Loop."
"So when can I do it?"
Opening one eye, Ranma stared at her. "Have you ever been an Uchiha in a Naruto Loop?"
"Well, no."
"Then come back and ask that question when you have."
"You just don't know how," she huffed in indignation.
Ranma opened both his eyes, focusing on her, activating his own Sharingan.
"… That's no fair!" cried Akane. "How come you guys got that and I didn't?"
"Well, to be fair, all the Tendo sisters were in that Loop," offered Ranma, recalling what Nabiki had explained from that Loop. "You guys replaced Team 7. Nabiki replaced Sasuke, and now thanks to that meditation technique I taught her to recall past lives in the Loop and those abilities, she recalled her Sharingan. Hell, she might actually have some decent ninja skills now," he surmised.
"So … was I Naruto?" asked Akane hopefully. Awesome power levels would be nice. She'd pull off a Kage Bunshin and study so much so fast, she'd leave everyone else in the dust!
"Nope, you were Sakura."
"WHAT?"
"Well," said Ranma, popping his ears after a near miss with early deafness, "if you do the meditation ritual, you might get some decent medical skills."
"But… But… But she doesn't do anything!" whined Akane.
"Wait!" she paused. "That would mean that Naruto was replaced by … Kasumi!" she finished in shock, trying to reconcile her elder sister's demeanor with that of a Prime Naruto. "So if she did that ritual, she might get a Kyuubi no Yoko!"
"Nah!" waved off Ranma. "I mean, what are the odds of—"
"Release me at once, mortal scum!" came a yell from the hallway. "Bow before my might and beg for a quick death!"
"Oh, you're just the cutest thing ever!" came Kasumi's squeal as she walked by, cradling a mini-Kyuubi.
"I am not cute!" it bellowed. "I am a machine of death and destruction! Fear me and tremble before my might!"
"Oh, you're just cranky. I bet you're just hungry and would like some fried fish."
"I will not—did you say fish?" it asked, as the duo headed back towards the kitchen, leaving Ranma and Akane to stare at where they had been.
"That's impossible!" yelled Akane.
Ranma just shrugged and went back to communing with nature. Certainly wasn't the weirdest thing he had seen. Figures, even a Demon Fox can't defeat Kasumi.
New Loop #5:
Ranma wobbled as time reset once again, the feeling of a Loop not originally his own struck the pigtailed Anchor, making him hiss lightly.
"That didn't feel good," muttered Nabiki. "Whatever that was."
"Fused Loop along Prime Loop Protocols," muttered Ranma.
"Simple languages, Saotome; I haven't had any coffee yet."
"We entered a Loop and assumed partial identities to the people we replaced." He muttered, reaching into his orange jumpsuit—and swearing that was going to change soon—and pulled out an ID. "I'm now Ranma Uzumaki.
"… Fuck," he sighed, flashing through several hand signs and creating a dozen Doppelgängers, sending them to perform what he needed for the Loop. Sure, he'd play ninja, but he was not going to do it wearing bright orange and living in squalor.
Naruto had never been the most tidy person before the Loops.
"Shit," Nabiki cursed, spotting her clothes. "I replaced Sakura," she growled, looking over her outfit.
"Who replaced Sasuke then—ACK!" cried Ranma, as a very familiar female dressed in pre-Loop Uchiha garb tackled him.
"Long time, no see; Stud," smirked Lina Inverse.
Nabiki arched her eyebrow. "Oh, I'm not looking forward to seeing how this affected Sasuke's fangirls," she sighed, waiting for the inevitable download of information about their 'new' lives.
Wait a moment; didn't Lina have an older sibling she's afraid of?
"Come along, Spot," said Luna Uchiha, slayer of the entire Uchiha clan aside from her little sister, as she removed a spoon from her assailant's chest. Some said she killed them because her little sister had displayed a video of Luna bathing to the entire clan.
No witnesses.
"My name is not 'Spot'," growled Kisame, wondering if all women in Akatsuki were crazy.
Luna slowly turned, her Sharingan spinning. "Did you say something, Spot?"
"… No, ma'am," he growled. Oh, Pein so owed him for this.
Akane growled, hating this Loop already.
She was awake in a Naruto-Loop, taking the place of one of the characters. It had been her hope that she would get the Sharingan finally, to prove herself as just as capable as Ranma and Nabiki at being warriors of the multiverse—not that she was jealous or anything.
That hadn't happened. Apparently, some fiancée-wannabe from another reality had taken Sasuke Uchiha's place. Therefore, she didn't get the Sharingan this time.
No, she got stuck with a second gift and an analog who looked exactly like her father—minus the goatee—who had the gall to say she was a poor student.
And no one ever stated that Akane took criticism well—unless they were able to force her to accept it.
He hadn't.
Hiashi Hyuuga slowly inhaled, trying to stifle the pain in his groin, wondering why his demure and gentle daughter had suddenly decided to show some backbone via a chakra mallet to his groin. Part of him hoped this new Akane Hyuuga would do something similar to the Hyuuga Elders—bastards were always trying to have their way, insisting his eldest daughter had a crush on the village Jinchuuriki.
"Now you stay there and think about what you did and how you made me feel," growled the Hyuuga princess. "I'm going to go make us some lunch before I head out."
Why do I suddenly feel as if a great danger is upon me? he wondered.
"My name is Lina Uchiha," said the redhead during the meeting of Team 7 and their perpetually late Jounin-Sensei. "I like Ranma and killing bandits, I hate finding out treasure I acquire is fake and assholes who end every question with the phrase 'that … is a secret'," she stated, perfectly mimicking Xellos. "My goal is to rebuild my clan, preferably with Ranma as my boy-toy."
Said pigtailed boy sighed as Nabiki struggled to not laugh out loud.
Kakashi blinked. "That's it?"
"Well, a few other things are items I'm certainly not going to tell you," waved off Lina. "I don't know you, you might be some super pervert or whatnot, and I certainly don't want to entice you to pursue my divine form."
"…" Kakashi just closed his visible eye for a second. "What about your sister?"
"GAH! WHERE?" cried Lina, hiding behind Ranma.
The eye was now twitching. Oh, someone definitely screwed up her profile. Avenger, my ass.
The Looping Nerima residents waited as Ibiki finished his speech at the end of the written exam, waiting for the beginning of the trials into the Forest of Death.
"Finally," complained Akane Hyuuga, popping her back. She couldn't wait to get into some actual battles, level forests, turn perverts into paste.
And it would get her away from another Nerima resident who had replaced the Hyuuga heir's little sister: Hinako Hyuuga.
Ranma just ignored her, leaning back in his chair, resting his eyes as he had done since he finished the written exam in under a minute. Seriously, it was so easy, and oh so annoying to the proctors wondering how he had cheated.
Any further thought was cut off as the window in front of the classroom was opened … by a snake.
"Damn crappy locks," it muttered, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Suddenly, a large tarp entered the classroom via the window, several kunai pinning it to the wall, as the kunoichi inside appeared … complete with miniature nine-tailed fox.
"Oh, hello," said Kasumi Mitarashi, holding her tiny Kyuubi in her arms. "My name is Kasumi, and I will be your proctor for the next stage of the exams. But first…"
Launching several ofuda at a rapid pace, each desk was soon sporting one each, which suddenly exploded, revealing…
"But after such a hard mental exercise, I'm sure you could all use some milk and cookies," she offered, as indeed that was what the seals produced.
"K-K-K-Kasumi!" squeaked a Rain-nin, his eyes clouding, his hands…
Crack!
His hands currently realigning the spine of a white-haired Konoha-nin.
Kabuto could only blink, as his view was restructured ninety degrees. Perhaps allowing Lord Orochimaru to be in the mission at this stage, without registering a complaint, was a bad move on my part.
Nabiki just dropped her head on her desk. "We are so doomed."
Lina Uchiha could only snort. "Please, you don't know the first thing about sibling torture."
"The forest will run red with rivers of your newb blood!" cackled the Kyuubi.
"Oh, don't mind him; he hasn't had his nap today. And if he isn't a good demon fox, he won't get any tuna."
"… I better get some damn tuna," the Kyuubi grumbled.
Gaara just ignored it all, eating his cookies and drinking his milk. No matter what Mother said, this tasted much better than blood.
New Loop #6:
Some Loops were the greatest educational experiences in the world. Already, Ranma knew ten different ways to exceed or bypass the Light Speed Barrier, construct artificial suns, and fuse organic and inorganic together.
He new magics beyond worlds, demons and gods not since heard for millennia, and a spell to duplicate almost all of what he knew in science.
That didn't mean every experience was happy. He had been in battles that tore apart entire galaxies, faced villains who were evil in all things, no speck of good in them.
But they were experiences he adapted to, evolved from, because he had others with him.
Pf course, sometimes those others were the cause of all the trouble to begin with.
He got the feeling this Loop would be just such a pain in the ass. The world was returning to focus, to show a woman in his arms, both prone to the ground, her pulse weakening, as she looked up at him with blue eyes, her silver hair matted with sweat.
Wait a moment… Blue eyes? White hair?
Shit.
Tapping into any and all power he had, he began to feed it into her. While the history already forming in his mind explained that he should have been dead tired, just lucky to be alive, Ranma had never felt the need to play by the Rules of a Loop, especially the ones that said 'play your part and nothing else'.
Besides, he had two very good reasons to do this.
One: there was no way in hell he was going to spend the next ten millennia or whatever alone because this woman dropped dead because her magical doohickey didn't have a set spending limit.
And two: he wasn't quite certain if Sailor Saturn was around and had been issued a 'clean up all the remaining mess' order.
This sucks! A loli with an Armageddon attack shouldn't be allowed to even learn that puppy-dog eyes attack. I'd like to escape one battle from her without losing body parts!
New Loop #7:
Ranma stared at the young man, trying to restrain any dark emotions—anger, hopelessness, sadness, etc.—as he prepared to do what he needed to do. "Okay, Morisato; listen up!"
The young man immediately rocketed to attention.
"I know you've had some bad luck with Belldandy in some of the last Loops," Ranma continued, ignoring the male's quickly paling figure.
Sex was all fun and games until someone died from dehydration, a crushed pelvis, and a penis rubbed so raw it fell apart.
"And I'm here to help you through that," Ranma finished.
"Really?" asked Keiichi, embarrassment quickly suppressed by the need for survival. He loved Belldandy, he truly did.
He also loved survival and not dying from very painful rug burns.
Ranma nodded. It was somewhat his fault, in a way. Thanks to taking in Lilith to sustain her until she could reunite with Morrigan—which immediately failed because the Loop reset itself soon afterwards—a certain feedback had occurred. Namely, succubus-lust flowed through Ranma, thus interacting with his Angels.
And being clones of the Angels of the Norns, said charge carried over to them through their bonds like induced magnetism.
Result: lust energy affecting the Norns. And Ranma most certainly did not want to have to deal with that fallout again should Lilith's energies spike. Skuld he could handle, maybe Urd as well.
Belldandy was the Everest of horny Goddesses and far be it from him not to foist her off on the man she loved, no matter how fragile he might be.
"I'm going to make you tough enough so you don't die or Kami-forbid, disappoint, Belldandy in the bedroom. I am not dealing with those issues again." Kami, the things that girl did when she was in the mood.
"Thanks, I—what?" asked Keiichi, thinking for certain that he hadn't heard those words right.
"No words! DOOOODGE!" Ranma yelled as he blasted the poor student with a very mild energy blast … for Nerima.
"You are so unlucky that I can revive you with magic," snorted Ranma, as he walked towards the smoking crater.
"Huh?" muttered Keiichi as the world returned to him. "What happened?"
"DOOOOOODGE!" yelled Ranma again, blasting the boy. "You know, if you don't dodge, how will you learn anything?"
New Loop #8:
Urd glared as she turned up the television. Already, she could hear the sounds of vigorous sex coming from Belldandy's room.
With a sigh, she summoned her Angel, World of Elegance. "Was there a LES?"
LES was short for Lust Energy Spike. Thanks to the cloned Angels inside Ranma, the spike could travel from Lilith inside him to their Angels, and thus give the Goddesses a familiar tingly feeling below the belt.
The Angel shook her head.
"Hmm, maybe she wants to see if Ranma's training is helping," Urd wondered.
World of Elegance shrugged. No way was she about to ask Holy Bell for any answers. The last time she had questioned the Angel about Belldandy's sex life, she simply blushed and mumbled something about strawberries.
Their discussion was cut off as a new source of sounds arose, coming not from the direction of Belldandy's room, but…
"Damn, Ranma's here and no one told me," growled Urd. Bad enough they barely had any time on Earth nowadays, let alone some downtime with someone who actually knew how to please a woman in the bedroom.
"Wait, that means everyone here is having sex … but me?" she asked, blinking in shock. Was the Goddess of Love—even if self-declared—really the odd woman out now?
The TV switched channels to reveal a topless adult-Skuld. "Yes," came the reply, before it resumed normal programming.
"… Oh, she's going to pay for that," growled Urd.
New Loop #9:
Ranma stared at the building before him. "'Future's Past'?" he asked, reading the bright neon sign.
Washu nodded. "Well, Tokimi thought it would be perfect and she did draw the straw to name it."
"Ah," said Ranma. "So where exactly are we?"
"A mini-universe based within the twenty-sixth dimension so as to allow connectivity to the other universes."
He had to blink at that. "You mean this dimension contains the multiverse?"
"Well, one slightly below it, but yes; we are in what could be termed the nexus of the multiverse," she stated, leading him in. "It wasn't too hard for the Chousin to pull off. And I believe the Goddess after your heart helped a great deal as well."
"… I'm not walking into a trap, am I?" he asked. The last time someone had mentioned how much Skuld had 'helped', he ended up being the stripper for a bachelorette party for several Belldandys and one Urd who were engaged to marry their universe's Keiichi Morisato.
"No, of course not," stated Washu, acting aghast at such allegations, her foot lashing out and knocking away a certain God of Chaos in his cat form who was wearing a Admiral Ackbar mask.
"Anyway, this place is being set up so that those 'awake' in the Loops have a place to gather, to relax, other than the Fused Loops."
"Could be nice," Ranma replied. A place away from the timelines, where they could hang out without doing something that could reset the Loop early, a place to hang out with friends and give a chat, have ideas to share…
"And here we are," she said, opening the door.
Inside, Ranma had to blink his eyes in shock. It wasn't anything like he feared—being no stripper poles, dance stages, or nudity.
It was a tastefully done bar, several areas to get food and drink, comfortable tables, and even a nice booth-style seating arrangement. Game platforms were off to the side, allowing groups to blow off steam, and a set of stairs leading to several doors that he could see before the hallway cut off his line of sight.
"We had some professionals help with it," she commented, escorting him through the main entrance. "Food is easy enough with replicators and whatnot, we can even replicate some dragon dishes."
"Wow, Lina will love that!" Ranma commented. Heaven knew how much that girl had a sweet tooth for dragon meat. He was surprised with any Fused Loop based off his own Prime Loop that didn't have her at least trying to assault Herb in some way.
"Drinks and every known method of relaxation for you all," continued Washu. "Even a few specially designed arenas to spar as you wish, special safeguards from the Valkyrie to keep you from being killed here."
Ranma just nodded. A few Anchors had been hoping for more lessons from him. This would deal with having to wait for Fused Loops to continue teaching them.
"And up here," she said, leading him up the stairs, "we have the secondary relaxation areas."
"What is up here?" asked Ranma, as Washu led him to a door, not noticing as she once again kicked the masked kitty away.
"The specially constructed, extra insulated, bedrooms."
"Huh?" asked the now paling pigtailed male as he was shoved into the room.
"Mama waits for no man," she claimed, as she shut the door behind her.
New Loop #10:
There is an old adage that states if you can't find anything to alleviate your boredom, make something.
And make something Ranma did.
Looking down at the scroll in his hand, he had to smile. Things were just too damn easy anymore since the Loops began. His greatest fights were barely even able to make him sweat in exertion anymore.
Herb? Under thirty seconds.
Saffron? Barely more than a minute.
Mallet-sama? …
Okay, he was still working on that one. It was as if that thing had pigtail-seeking technology built into it.
But this was good. If his rivals—the ones he faced every so often—could be made stronger, faster, then he might actually have something to do during this Loop. Even an extra minute in their fights, or him forced to hold back less would be a blessing.
With that, he slipped into the Umisenken, and headed to the classroom of his target.
"Ranma, is something wrong?" asked Akane, as the duo made their way to school.
Ranma ignored her as he continued to grumble. Two days. Two whole freaking days Kuno had had that scroll, had a powerful technique, and that idiot still hadn't shown up to use it. What was the point of giving the guy a technique if he wasn't going to use it? Hell, Ranma had practiced his writing just so the letter with the scroll would be legible. He even used such words as 'foul sorcerer', 'favored of the Gods', and 'free the beloved' when he wrote it. How could the fool not have used the scroll.
"Halt, foul sorcerer!"
"Took him long enough," grumbled Ranma. "What do you want, Kuno?"
"What I want, I shall have, for today is the day I defeat your evil machinations, freeing the beauteous pigtailed girl and my fierce tigress from your dark clutches!" Tatewaki stated.
"And this attempt will be different from the others because…" Ranma asked, wanting Kuno's usual banter to end quickly so he could see if the two days wait would be worth it.
"Silence, knave! For today, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High," he paused, as thunder rumbled in the background thanks to Sasuke's boom box, "shall defeat you. The Gods themselves have imparted onto their chosen warrior a technique for which I may defeat you and claim my loves!"
Drawing his bokken, Tatewaki prepared to attack. "Now then, see the power of this technique! Form 1, Dance of—"
SPLAT!
The schoolyard became deathly quiet as the students gapped in shock, the sight of Tatewaki Kuno exploding was not what any of them had expected.
"Holy shit," whispered one student.
"I … I think I got a bit of Kuno in my mouth," cried one girl, as she began to vomit.
Closing his eyes as he tried to keep his anger in check, Ranma flashed some ki through his body and clothes, forcing the bits and pieces of Kuno off of him and leaving him clean again. Mental note: make the safety precautions a bit easier to understand and include that even as a chosen of the Gods, he must adhere to them or he shall fail.
"Well, that ruined my day," he sighed, turning around. "See ya at home, Akane," he waved off, returning to the Dojo. He seriously doubted classes would continue after that display of a Darwin Award winner.
Akane continued to stare forward, bag in hand, eyes wide in shock, skin pale, as bits of Kuno dripped off her, mind frozen with what she had just seen.
It would be half an hour before Nabiki had someone drag her home.
She wasn't about to touch Akane when she was covered in guts.
New Loop #11:
Ranma grumbled as she woke up, her head killing her, thus letting her know that despite the Loops, one never really acquired a perfect tolerance for alcohol.
It was then that she noticed a few things.
Her bottom was sore and there was a warm body behind her, holding her close. Hmm, too big to be most of the girls. Maybe those Egyptian or Amazon Goddesses showed up last night. Chest ain't big enough to be Hild or Urd…
Slowly opening her eyes, she spotted a left arm wrapped around her body.
But this was no feminine arm, nor one from a female who had a great deal of muscle mass.
No, this was a male arm, complete with hair and … a gold band on their finger…
A gold band that matched the one on her left hand…
Oh shit!
Slowly, she turned, eyes even wider when she felt a certain fleshy appendage touch her legs, forcing her to scoot her hips beck away from the now confirmed nude man as she took in his face.
"Mr. Tendo!" she screeched.
The man opened a tired and hung-over eye, his sight not yet focused, and responded on automatic as he had done when he had once had another body join him in his bed. So he could be forgiven for saying the response usually said to his late wife. "Morning, dear."
Ki began to arc around Ranma's body.
"I really wish Father wouldn't spar with Ranma-chan in his room," admonished Kasumi, as she set breakfast at the table. She paused, spotting her younger sister sitting at it, wide-awake—an oddity since the coffee wasn't finished yet—holding a wooden paddle. "Sister, why do you have that?"
"A prank," was Nabiki's simple answer, her smile widening as screams of feminine rage were heard, including the pleadings of a doomed and innocent man.
Sure, part of her should feel bad about using her father this way, as it sounded like he was about to be murdered. But she had always had some anger towards the man for how he acted after their mother passed. And any shrink worth his degree would tell you that these daddy issues needed to be worked out or it could harm her later on in life.
And Ranma? Well, he shouldn't have allowed her access to his files and allowed her to learn some of the pranks he had pulled on her in the early Loops. Karma demanded payback, after all.
New Loop #12:
"Ranma Potter?" asked Nabiki.
The pigtailed boy with a lightning shaped scar on his forehead nodded. It appeared they had once again ended up in a Partial Fused Loop.
"I swear to the kami, Saotome; if my last name ends up being Weasley, I will kill you right here and now."
New Loop #13:
"Run!" cried the camper, blood dripping from a gash on his head, his eyes frantic.
"Why?" asked Ranma, setting his cooler down. How often did one get to relax during a strange new Loop anyway. Besides, since this area was supposed to be filled with teens, hopefully the additional males would keep his own female followers from bugging him.
"It's Jason Voorhees, man!" cried the injured teen, as he released Ranma and ran screaming into the woods. "IT'S JASON!"
"Well, he's dead," sighed Nabiki. "He didn't even try to get in a car or stick to the main road. Seriously, you really could choke them with a cordless phone."
"Oh my, should we go somewhere else?" asked Kasumi.
"Nah, he may be a murderous psychopath, but he ain't stupid."
"Oh sure, Saotome, you wanna tempt Fate a little more?"
Ranma was humming as he exited the shower, a light smile on his face, happy to have made it through the day with no feminine sexual contact. His mood so great, he barely felt any anger when he caught the machete that had been aimed at decapitating him.
Turning slightly, smile still on his face, and machete still between his fingers, he faced the hockey-mask wearing demon.
"Wow, I didn't think you were a suicidal psycho."
Five minutes later, a mangled form was seen launched from an open cabin door and into the lake.
Jason was not one to give up. He couldn't be stopped. So after his body was repaired and his weapon of choice was freed from his anal cavity, he entered another cabin and prepared to slaughter.
"Oh, hello Mr. Killer," said Kasumi with a smile. "Can I help you?"
Raising his knife to slaughter her, he paused, as his arm refused to respond and end her life.
After five minutes of trying, he left.
"He seemed so sad," said Kasumi. "I wonder if it was something I said."
"Well, this was a great vacation," said Ranma with a near euphoric smile. He never felt so relaxed in all his life.
"Let's just go," growled Nabiki. She spent half the night dealing with spirits stuck haunting the camp because they wouldn't shut up. Somehow, I just know that was Ichigo's fault. He'll pay for costing me a vacation…
As the group drove off, a hockey-mask wearing man slowly poked his head out of a garbage can, fresh from repairing his body. If anyone could understand him, they would have heard him complaining about violent teenagers with no respect for tradition.