Tifa frowned at how drunk her fiancé was as he got into Sephiroth's face yet again and slurred at him, "I trumped you twice because I'm awesome and you suck" he said going to poke him, but Sephiroth stepped back smoothly.
"I will conceded that point, but I wasn't myself at the time" he said with as much patience as he could inject into his normally smooth baritone as possible, obviously not having much patience for the drunken braggart. "I think I will be going. I thank you for the party invitation, but obviously my presence is upsetting you. I apologize for the bad memories that you must associate with myself, but I no longer that person" he insisted.
"No, you're not leaving until you say I am a much better swordsman and you suck" he insisted, stepping into his path.
"I thank you for your invitation" Sephiroth said through gritted teeth.
"Honey, you should say good night to our guest" Tifa intervened and Sephiroth seemed grateful at this.
"He's not going anywhere until he admits that I'm better than him" Cloud insisted as he wove on his feet.
"Come Cloud, we should get you some water" Vincent suggested and opened his eyes really wide when Cloud grabbed him and hugged him, the petite blonde then leaned back and patted the older man's cheek and declared with a shit eating grin "I love you Vincent; you're my friend...and you still suck Sephiroth. How did it feel to go mad?"
"It seems I didn't corner the market on that" he replied to the obnoxious blonde. "I as I recall it, you had some mental problems yourself."
"Come on" Vincent urged him. "You're my friend too" the suddenly blushing man said as he tried to draw himself way from Cloud's strangle hugs.
"Yes but I won, I got my act together and now I'm marrying a beautiful woman" he said, suddenly gripping onto Tifa. "Where's your prize? I see you alone here as I see you alone everywhere. Tell me, where is your woman? Or do you prefer men? Either way; I win" he said with a wobbly, victorious smile.
Tifa and Vincent could only look from one to the other, Sephiroth's left hand slightly clenched and unclenched as if groping for his masamune, but that was the only real sign of anger about him. "My gender preference in people I take to my bed, is my business and mine alone" he said and went to storm off, but Tifa ran after him.
Cloud almost fell over but Vincent caught him "Loser virgin" he called after him. Vincent sighed, easily scooping him up bridal style and carrying into the bedroom he shared with Tifa. He removed his shoes, but left him for Tifa to help to bed, way too used to this behaviour from Cloud. Flicking out the lights, he went to rejoin the party.
"I just wanted to say how sorry I am for his behaviour" she apologized to Sephiroth when she caught up to him.
"It's okay, I understand that I caused a lot of harm to both of you and certainly don't hold it against him. I just get a little sensitive about certain issues" he assured her.
"It's not you, it's just that..." she said looking to the side. "He has social anxieties when it comes to groups of people and feels that drinking a lot will help him cope better, but it just makes him..." she said.
"Obnoxious" Sephiroth supplied.
"Unfortunately, yes and he never remembers a thing the next day and thinks I am lying or anyone else who brings it up. I don't normally throw parties for this reason, but with Yuffie going back to Wutai for months, I wanted to say good bye to her. I don't know what to do about his behaviour, he's getting worse as time goes on and he's offending people. It's gotten to the point that few people want to come to our parties anymore because of Cloud's trying to pick fights with them. I mean, when not drinking he's fine, but get him drunk and poof, instant asshole" Tifa said in a worried sounding voice.
"Perhaps you need to shock him somehow? That might help get through to him" Sephiroth suggested.
Tifa looked thoughtful at this and then suddenly laughed. "Septhiroth are you shy?" she asked him.
"The way I grew up, privacy was a rare luxury" he said. "Why, what are you suggesting?" he asked her intrigued and he chuckled at her idea. "I'll try my best" he mused.
Cloud woke up with a throbbing head and no idea what happened the night before, when lips met his in a clinging kiss. He put his arms around Tifa and frowned when they rested on a very board, very masculine back and certainly the chest pressing against his own certainly was not Tifa's. He eyes flew open and he shrank back at the sight of a smiling, disheveled looked Sephiroth who appeared to be naked and holding him. "Good morning Lover" he purred and leaned forward for another kiss. But he blocked it by thrusting his arm across his neck.
"What are you doing in my bed, where is Tifa?" he demanded.
"She left in a huff to stay with Yuffie at how you were hitting on me, you little flirt" Sephiroth say giving him an amorous look and flirtatious wink that made Cloud feel dirty. Cloud cringed and leaned away from him, practically bundling the blankets around himself.
"Hitting on you? But I'm not gay. I only like women" he stammered and hoped he was dreaming.
"Come on, you know that's not true. You sure showed me how you were into me" Sephiroth said, in the way that said, pun intended.
"Look, I'm told that sometimes I do or say things I don't mean when I'm drunk" Cloud told him in a wooden voice, his eyes wide and terrified at how Sephiroth was acting.
"Don't mean? But you said you loved me" Sephiroth said in confusion, looking...sad and pouted at Cloud, gently stroking his arm, which Cloud quickly yanked away and blushed at how brazen the other male was acting.
"Lo...I'm sure that you misunderstood me" he stammered, "I'm straight." His hung over brain went into overdrive when Sephiroth's large frame was suddenly flung across his bed and he started weeping, causing the whole bed to bounce, including Cloud as the springs gave out a bone-chilling squeak in protest and the bed threaten to break. Cloud could only look on in alarm as Sephiroth's 6' 5" body heaved in sobs, like a teenaged girl being told her favourite rock star's concert was cancelled.
"Are you okay?" he asked him alarm.
"So my first time meant so little to you? It's was all a misunderstanding" he wailed in a broken voice and Cloud could only sit there stunned at what he was suggesting
"Wait are you saying that we...?" Cloud said, nervously shoving his already tousled hair back.
"You don't even remember?! My goddess, I gave myself to you because you said you loved me. No one has ever...I trusted you!" he wailed, each sob jiggling the already abused bed.
"I'm sorry, are you sure this really happened?" he said awkwardly putting his hand on the other man's heaving back.
He sharply looked back at him, his eyes looking suspiciously dry "You think I would joke about something like this? Do you think I am so free and easy that I would give myself to someone so lightly? What sort of man do you think I am?" he demanded in a teary voice and buried his head into the pillows for another bout of weeping.
"A very dramatic one" is all the Cloud think as he patted his back, wondering if it was possible and he had slept with Sephiroth.
"You wouldn't even wear a condom when I told you I could get pregnant" he said in a voice barely above a whisper.
Cloud froze at this, "Hojo, he engineered you so that you could, through your rear passage?" he asked him, feeling faint at the implications.
"Yes and we made love, it was magical. I thought that..." he said and then started sobbing anew.
"Oh Sephiroth, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you" he said now out and out stroking his hair.
"I do love you" he said putting as much conviction into his voice as possible "and if you are pregnant, I will do the right thing and marry you" he promised the stricken man, knowing Tifa was going to kill him anyway once he said he was breaking their engagement so he could marry a pregnant man.
"You mean it?" he said in his normal baritone voice.
"Yes" Cloud promised.
"Well there is only one thing to do. Kiss me" he said throwing his arms around him.
Cloud gulped and closed his eyes, stealing himself for the kiss and he blushed to be kissing another man and made a squeak of protest as a tongue slid into his mouth.
"None of that now. Okay if we're done here, for now" he said awkwardly said, patting his "fiancé's" hand nervously as he beamed at him.
"Of course, let me get dressed" Sephiroth said levering himself out of bed and Cloud blushed and turned away from the sight of his nude ass. Wondering how marriages and divorces were handled for same sex couples. Would one of them have to wear a wedding dress to make it legal? Did they even make maternity clothes in Sephiroth's size? What the hell would he be like on pregnancy hormones? Wait a minute, how would the child come out of Sephiroth? His mind was a whirl of confusion as Sephiroth clung onto his arm, having to bend awkwardly to do so due to the height different.
His eyes grew wide when all their friends met them in the hall. "Tifa" he said to her and she did nothing but hurl a handful of confetti over them both. "W-what is going on?" he demanded.
"You've been had. I haven't been a virgin for a long time. I do like both genders, but prefer my males much taller" Sephiroth said with a grin, indicating to a level where the tip of his large spike just came up to. "Oh and I don't have any female reproductive organs, I have been checked for this just in case my father had decided to play a sick little game like that."
"I felt it was time to teach you a lesson, you become such a jerk when you drink. Anyway, I invited everyone over for after party brunch. If everyone will tell me their drink orders, we all have something to watch on youtube, everything was recorded.
"That was great acting" Vincent said to Sephiroth.
"I tried my best. I used to date a soap opera star and imitated them" he said.
"Male or female?" Vincent asked.
"I never kiss and tell" he replied modestly.
Everyone was eating and drinking and laughing at the uploaded video, even Sephiroth was laughing at his own antics while Cloud stood looking annoyed and leaning against the wall.
"Would you like a drink?" Tifa called to him.
"I'll pass" he said in his sulk. "By the way, we're getting a new bed and burning our present one, including the sheets."