Chapter Fourteen

September came and went with what seemed like a blink of an eye to Lydia. She was settling into her first year of A Level study at Rosings quite well and was now used to her new timetable which meant she was able to work at Boswell's around her classes and coursework she had to do in her spare time. Over the first month she had started to feel that maybe, things were looking up for her and her family. Jane was starting to sound a lot happier thanks to her therapist in Bury St. Edmunds and Longbourn's expansion and remodeling had started which kept Jane busy and focused. Elizabeth was back at work on a part-time basis, finishing her work day at lunchtime whilst Will had started looking for an office building to set up the new Portsmouth Headquarters for TPA and had promoted Richard to run things in the London offices on a permanent basis. And while Elizabeth was slowly adjusting back to her life prior to her kidnapping, Lydia knew that she was still finding it hard to be the person she used to be. But, it was nice to see that Elizabeth had a lot of support around her when she did have a bad day.

It was a cloudy Friday afternoon. Lydia and Denny had just finished their classes for the day and had gone back to Ed and Maddie's to catch up on coursework. The two were sat at the dining table with their notepads and textbooks, two half-full glasses of water sat in the centre of the table along with a bowl of crisps that Maddie had poured for them before she had taken the dog for a walk. Every now and then Lydia would catch Denny looking at his phone when it vibrated against the dining table, only to notice the disappointed looks on her best friend's face when it wasn't what Denny was hoping the notification to be.

"Alright. Do you want to tell me why you're looking so glum?" Lydia quizzed.

"No reason." Denny lied, turning his attention back to the notes he had forgotten about.

Lydia cleared her throat, causing her friend to exhale heavily and throw his pen on to his notepad and meet her curious and concerned stare.

"I take it no reason is a certain curly-haired blonde girl who happens to be our best friend?" she guessed.

"There's hiding nothing from you, is there?" Denny mused, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.

"Not when you're bloody obvious about your feelings for Georgie."

"I'm not bloody obvious!"

"Really!" Lydia snorted with amusement, mirroring Denny's actions by leaning back in her own chair and folding her arms, "Then why are you so quick to pick up your phone whenever you get a notification? You're hoping that it's Georgiana and you look so disappointed when it isn't. You can try and play dumb to avoid us having this conversation all you like, Denny, but I know how you feel about her."

Denny nodded stiffly.

"Alright. Fine. I text her asking if she wanted to do something later and she hasn't replied."

Lydia smiled warmly.

"Give her time. Remember that her timetable is different from ours. She's in a class back at school right now where she isn't allowed her phone."

"Okay. Good point," Denny agreed, "But, what if she thinks that I mean just as friends?"

"Well… did you state otherwise?" Lydia asked.

"No…" Denny muttered.

"Well there you go. You need to clarify what you meant. If you want the time you spend with Georgie to be a date, then you need to tell her." Lydia encouraged gently.

"Yeah you're right," Denny agreed, "But would Georgie even want to go on a date with me after everything that's happened? With everything that's gone on between my brother and hers-"

Lydia listened to her friend's doubts about asking Georgiana to take their relationship to the next level and groaned inwardly. If only she could tell Denny what she and Georgiana had talked about weeks ago. But the conversation she had with Georgiana were on a delicate matter and she wasn't about to betray her friend's confidence. Instead, she decided to give Denny some advice.

"Denny, if you keep dwelling on the past then you'll never move forward with Georgie." Lydia pointed out gently.

Her friend exhaled heavily, as if with exhaustion, and rested his head on his fist supported by his elbow on the table.

"How would you go about it? If it were you and Jimmy?" Denny asked curiously.

Lydia hesitated. It had been four weeks since her date with Jimmy and they both had continued to go on dates throughout the four-week course, but they had yet to have the boyfriend/girlfriend discussion. She liked Jimmy, really liked him. But the thought of being in a proper relationship made her nervous. She was still trying to come to terms with what she had been through with Jamie.

"I don't really know. Maybe you should just try and talk to her and stop putting off the conversation?" she suggested.

Denny nodded, looking at her observantly.

"You're nervous about having that conversation with Jimmy, aren't you?" he asked.

"Could not be more terrified." Lydia replied with a sigh.

Denny smiled at her sympathetically and reached for her hand across the table, giving it a supportive squeeze.

"How about we make a deal? We'll both be brave. I'll talk to Georgiana and you'll talk to Jimmy about your fears. You never know, he could surprise you and be very understanding."

"It's not just wanting him to understand what I went through with Jamie. What Jamie did to me…what those other men did to me…it put me at rock bottom. It's taken me this long to finally be in a place where I feel okay enough to date but it's going to take me a while to put it behind me completely."

"I know, Lyds. But you're a strong person and there will come a day when you'll back on it and know that he doesn't affect you anymore."

"Thanks Denny," Lydia smiled, "I'm glad you're one of my best friends."

"Ditto." Denny smiled in return.

There was a moment of silence before the two friends returned their attention back to their coursework.

ooOoo

After finishing her coursework, Denny had left to head round to the Darcy's to see if Georgiana had finished her classes for the day. Lydia had changed out of her school uniform and headed downstairs to hear a knock on the front door. Smiling to herself, she opened it and welcomed Jimmy inside the house.

"I've brought a selection of DVDs I thought you might want to watch, I wasn't too sure what you'd be in the mood for." Jimmy said, handing over the bag of DVDs.

Closing the door behind him, she led him through to the living room and felt Jimmy grasp her wrist gently, pulling her backwards and turning her to face him. She felt her breathing become faster, her heart beating at a rapid pace in her chest as Jimmy's forehead pressed against her own gently. Their lips met, the kiss a sweet and tender one as their lips moved together before pulling apart.

"I missed you." Jimmy whispered with a smile.

"It's only been a day." Lydia breathed, meeting his gaze.

"I know… I just want to spend time with you."

Lydia stepped away and moved over to the TV stand to put a DVD into the player for the two of them to watch. As she stood up with the remote and switched on the TV, she turned around to see the disappointed look on Jimmy's face.

"What's wrong?" she questioned.

"I just thought we could watch it in your bedroom. We'd have some more privacy." Jimmy answered.

Lydia nodded stiffly, biting her lip as she felt a surge of annoyance run through her. She suddenly felt a lot of pressure on her to be alone with him, just like the times when she had felt pressured into doing things when Jamie had been in control of her.

"Why can't we watch a film down here?"

Jimmy shrugged, "I guess we can. But your bedroom offers more privacy, so we can enjoy it together instead of having the dog bug us for a walk or attention and it means that your aunt, uncle and sister can have some space as well." He explained.

"Is that the only reason you want us to be alone in my bedroom?" Lydia asked nervously.

"Well it also means I can kiss you as much as I like without giving your relatives too much of a show." Jimmy replied.

"Is that all you want to do?"

Jimmy frowned, walking over to her and gently placing his arms around her waist.

"What are you so worried about? I'm not expecting you to sleep with me. I just want to spend some alone time with you."

"I guess I'm just nervous." Lydia muttered shyly.

"Lydia, I'm crazy about you. I'm not going to lie, I have thought about sex with you, but it doesn't have to happen yet. I mean, we've only been going out for four weeks and I get that it's a big deal for girls when they get a new boyfriend." Jimmy assured her.

Lydia smiled. He'd just called himself her boyfriend.

"What?" Jimmy asked with a laugh.

"Boyfriend huh?"

"If you want me to be."

She nodded her head, leaning up to kiss him again.

"Can I just ask…why are you nervous about taking that step with me? Have you ever done it before?" Jimmy asked delicately.

Lydia bit her lip. There was that question. Technically, she wasn't a virgin. But she hadn't had sex where she had consented to it.

"I have a complicated past." Lydia replied quietly, stepping away from him.

"Bad experience?"

"You could say that."

"You can talk to me about it if you like. It might help to talk about it." Jimmy offered.

She looked at him, feeling very confused and worried that if she did tell him about her past with Jamie then he might run and want nothing more to do with her. She liked him. Really liked him. But she wasn't sure if Jimmy would be able to accept what she had been through. But then she remembered her deal with Denny about being brave and talking to Jimmy about her fears.

"Alright. I'll tell you, but you might want to take a seat. And please be patient and understanding." Lydia conceded.

Jimmy nodded and promised her he would listen and sat on the sofa. Taking a seat next to him, she began to tell him all about her past with Jamie and how it had all began.

ooOoo

Taking a deep breath, Denny raised his fist and knocked on the door of the Darcy house three sharp times. His heart was pounding. His thumbs were twitching. But he made the deal with Lydia. He was going to talk to Georgiana. After nearly three years since they had first tried to give a relationship a go, he was finally going to put the past behind him and ask her to be his girlfriend.

The front door opened, and he took a deep breath, seeing the beautiful young blonde standing in front of him. She still wore her school uniform, her curly hair falling past her shoulders and her brown eyes looking at him warmly.

"Denny! Hey. Sorry I didn't reply to your text messages, class ran over and then I had to see Mr. Bingley once it finished. Is everything alright?" Georgiana asked.

He didn't know why he didn't speak. Maybe it was because he was nervous. Maybe it was because he could feel adrenaline rush through his body as his feelings for the girl in front of him started to consume him. Denny stepped towards Georgiana, cupping her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. He heard her squeak in surprise and stiffen slightly but after a moment, she relaxed against him and returned the kiss.

When he pulled away, he looked down at her, seeing her smile up at him as she cupped his face with her hands.

"Well that was a nice surprise." Georgiana laughed.

Denny smiled, stroking her cheeks lightly with his thumbs.

"Georgiana Darcy, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.

He felt a burst of happiness when she nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Do you want to go and do something?" Georgiana asked.

"First date something?" Denny teased.

Georgiana nodded.

"Yes, a first date something." She laughed.

"It sounds amazing. Shall we head out?"

"Yeah, just let me get my shoes."

Once Georgiana had pulled on her shoes and grabbed her jacket which contained her phone and keys, she closed the door behind her and the two teenagers walked hand-in-hand away from the house; talking about what they would do for their first date.

ooOoo

"Say something." Lydia said quietly.

She had decided to tell Jimmy about her ordeal with Jamie. The two had been sat in the living room but Maddie had walked through the front door after she had gone to the supermarket to do a food shop. Not wanting to put off the conversation, the two of them had headed to Lydia's bedroom so they could talk in private.

"I don't know what to say." Jimmy muttered.

"Look, if it's too much for you to handle then there's no hard feelings. If you want to walk away now, then I'll understand." Lydia stated.

Jimmy turned to face her, frowning hard at what she had just said. Lydia bit her lip, her heart pounding with nerves as she felt her hands starting to shake with anticipation. Would Jimmy decide that her past would be too much to handle? Would he decide that he couldn't deal with the patience as she overcame her fears about intimacy and relationships? Would he ask for some time to think about it? Would he think that it was all her fault like she had once thought?

"Do you really think that little of me?" Jimmy questioned, stunned at her statement.

"That's not what I meant, Jimmy. I just meant that-"

"You thought I'd call you a slut or something? That I'd say it's your own fault you got involved with someone like that? You thought that I'd tell you that you had too much of a dramatic past that I didn't want anything more to do with you? Thanks!" Jimmy scoffed angrily.

"Jimmy, I didn't know how you would handle it when I told you what I went through. What Jamie did…it's made me fearful of being vulnerable with someone. It's made me wonder if I could ever trust someone in that way again. Jamie broke me. I nearly committed suicide after what he put through. Can't you understand this from my point of view instead of thinking that I think all this bad stuff about you?" Lydia asked, on the verge of tears.

"I can't understand completely what you went through, Lydia. It didn't happen to me so how could I possible completely understand what's going through your head? Ever since you agreed to go out with me, I've been trying to think more before I say stuff because I don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't know what to say about this." Jimmy stated.

Lydia stood up from her bed, pacing her bedroom as she blinked back the tears. She didn't want to cry in front of him. She didn't want Jimmy to see that she was blaming herself for ruining their four-week relationship.

"Just go, Jimmy." She said quietly, her voice breaking slightly.

She heard him stand up from her bed.

"Is that what you want? Or is it a tactic to push me away? Because if it's the latter, then you're stupid!" Jimmy accused.

Turning around, she felt a surge of anger run through her.

"Did you really just call me stupid?" Lydia demanded.

"Yeah. I did. Pushing people away is stupid. Isn't it what you did to your sisters because you felt guilty that your dad died?" Jimmy asked, his voice raised slightly.

"Oh look who's pretending to know about psychology now!"

"I'm not leaving!"

"I'll shout for Maddie. She'll make you go!" Lydia hissed.

"I'm not leaving. We're talking this out. You can try and push me away all you like but I'm going to come back." Jimmy yelled.

"Why would you? What normal person would want me?!" Lydia cried.

"In case you haven't noticed I'm not always a normal person. We've all got our shit Lydia! But I like you enough to work it out with you!" Jimmy said.

She felt her breathing hitch as Jimmy crossed the room to close the gap between them. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to him, holding her close as she cried into his chest. Hearing him say that he liked her enough to work it out with her had opened the floodgate. It was like a weight had been lifted now that he knew all about her past. Everything seemed like it was going to be fine. Maybe Elizabeth was right. Maybe, Jimmy would be the one to help her through these fears.

Lydia felt him kiss the top of her head and the two stood in silence, holding each other tightly as a new understanding formed between them; an understanding that Jimmy wasn't going anywhere.