When Ginny awoke the next day she felt absolutely terrible. Her stomach was in knots and she was drenched in a cold sweat. Her dorm mates were already gone and she checked the time on her watch and groaned. She had already missed her first two lessons and lunch time was fast approaching. The memory of what she did the previous day came to the front of her mind and her stomach lurched. Ginny ran from her bed toward the bathroom but she didn't make it. Two beds down from her own she felt to the floor and began to vomit uncontrollably. Tears streamed down her face and she cradled her stomach and sobbed hysterically until she had nothing left to lose. Her body shook as her sobs turned silent and she relived everything she did, and then she curled up in a ball and shook herself to sleep.

That was exactly how her roommates found her when they came back to their dorms at lunch. She could vaguely hear them talking as they made their way in the room but she couldn't bring herself to move. When they saw her they gasped and ran over. She felt them roll her out of her vomit and cast a scourgify her then touch her face.

"She's burning up, and sweating profusely."

"Should we call Madam Pomfrey? Or Professor McGongagall?"

"Do you think we can levitate her to the hospital wing?"

She groaned, trying to tell them to leave her alone but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth. Ginny felt herself levitating off the ground as they walked with her toward the hospital. Her eyes felt heavy and her head was throbbing by the time she felt herself being lowered on the bed. There was a good amount of talking going on and she was sure they were talking to Madam Pomfrey about her but her mind wouldn't focus on what they were saying. Her eye began to close and she registered how dark it was before she slid out of consciousness again.

-DGDGDG-

When Ginny came to again it was evening and Professor Dumbledore was by her side with Severus on the other. The old man didn't have the sparkle in his eye as he looked at her with a frown and Severus was seething. Her head was heavy still as she sat up and Madam Pomfrey rushed out to give her a potion and muttered under her breath about stupid old men putting teenagers in dangerous situations before skirting away.

"Albus," Severus said far too calmly for dis demeanor. "I think Ginerva and I should have this talk alone."

Dumbledore looked to him and frowned. "Very well Severus; you are more the expert in this subject than I am. Miss Weasley," he nodded his head to her and left.

Severus warded the hospital wing off and cast Muffialato. The look on his face was deadly as he took Dumbledore's spot next to Ginny. She expected yelling, she expected cursing. She didn't expect the conversation he started.

"Who are you?" he asked simply.

She looked confused. "Is this some sort of test of my mental capacity Severus? I know who I am, I'm Ginny Weasley."

"Are you?"

She shot him an incredulous look. "Well who else would I be? I'm sure you know by now I'm not under polyjuice, jeez. I'm Ginerva Ann Weasley."

"So you say… however I don't believe you truly know yourself anymore."

She scowled. "I'm the same person I was last week or a month ago!"

He crossed his arms and leaned in toward her. "Ginerva… Ginny… You are suffering the after effects of dark magic. When one goes down the path of darkness you know their magic goes through changes, and when that happens your body has to adjust to who you are."

"I know…" she whispered. "I felt it this morning. All I could think about was what I'd done and it made me sick."

"It is against your nature to be so callous Ginerva. What you did yesterday was horrible. The dark lord already left the scene, he would have been none the wiser if you stunned the man instead of killing him. The choice you made was a dark one, a very dark one."

"I… I…" Ginny mumbled, unsure of what to say. "I lost control of myself Severus. Draco was on the ground and I didn't know what was wrong with him. All I could think about was saving him… Dumbledore could have gotten me out of trouble but Draco would have been imprisoned and his family tortured…"

Severus frowned. "That is not a good reason to kill a man, Ginerva."

She began to silently cry, holding her head in her hands. "I can't stop myself Severus. I'm not able to think things through. The things I have to do when we're in his presence… I have nightmares about them and they make me angry all the time, my magic feels like it has a mind of its own."

Severus took her hand in his and gently stroked her fingers with his own. "This is a feeling I'm familiar with, Ginerva. I never experienced it as intensely as you did though. I was exposed to the dark arts from a very young age. My father often drank himself into a stupor and my mother worked extra hours to support us so I buried myself in my mother's magical books; it was all she had left of her family since she decided to marry a muggle.

"I stopped reading them when Lily and I became friends but when I came to Hogwarts, but I quickly fell into my habits again when I realized all my housemates were entertaining the notion of the dark lord. I cast many dark spells before I ever cast my first unforgivable." He shuddered and took a deep breath. "When I became a death eater I had to use more dark magic than I could have ever dreamed. I enjoyed pleasing the dark lord and tortured and raped many people. He instantly favored me, and I excelled through the ranks."

Ginny's eyes watered slightly as she listened to his story; Severus never had a real choice in life. She had a loving family, even if they were over protective, and she had no reason to turn down the path she was going. "Ginerva, it was at the time I began serving the dark lord I felt my magic changing as well. It was slight, and when I wasn't lost in my potions I was consumed by anger and made bad choice after bad choice. If the dark lord had chosen anyone to target but Lily Evans Potter I would have never turned to the light side. When he marked her, I panicked. I fled to Dumbledore and begged him to save her. It when I began redeeming my actions my magic found control again."

He looked down, emotion in his eyes that he didn't want to share. Ginny knew he never talked about his past and why he became a death eater in the first place so she kept her quiet, allowing him to compose himself again. When he looked up she felt she could talk again and squeezed his hand tightly.

"Severus I don't want to be this way. Dumbledore said I need to find something to ground myself, but I don't know what to look toward." Her voice was strained as she tried not to cry and Severus squeezed her hand back.

"I hate to sound like that blasted old man, but I'm afraid I have to. The power of love, Ginerva, is a very powerful thing." His voice was quiet and he looked down, unable to meet her eyes again.

"Lily helped ground you then… What grounds you now Severus?

"For a long time I looked to Lily's son… He had her eyes and looking into them would pull me back to the person she helped me be. This year you reminded me so much of Lily… until you started to give in to the dark side. Then I saw the change in you and it reminded me so much of me… and now it's my chance to help save you."

Ginny closed her eyes and thought on what he said. When she really thought about it, the only time her magic had been entirely under control was when she was with Draco. Even being near Severus, her magic had been volatile and overwhelming. But with Draco… she sighed. "I get so angry when I'm with Ron and Hermione. And Harry… when I'm with him I feel disgusted with myself and who he is. I feel calm with you mostly, but you also make me lose it. "

"When do you feel in control, Ginerva?"

She chewed her lip, mulling over what to say. "I… I feel human when I'm with Draco. He… He reminds me of why I'm doing what I'm doing."

Severus sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Well then, we're going to have to make it easier for the two of you to talk, because you need to get yourself in check. But let me make it very clear to you, Ginerva. There will be severe consequences next time I find you using an unforgivable when it won't blow your cover not to. I will make the dark lord's wrath look like child's play if you disappoint me again."

Ginny felt her eyes watering again and she sat up and threw her arms around Severus. "I'm so glad the real you is in my life Severus, I don't know what I'd do without you now that I know you." She felt him wrap his arms around her and stroke her hair.

"I feel the same, Ginerva," he whispered into her hair.

-DGDGDG-

During the middle of the night Ginny felt herself being shaken awake. She sat up quickly, reaching for her wand and looking for the person with her. There was no one there and she felt her eyes grow wide until Harry removed his cloak. He smiled at her sheepishly, obviously having forgotten to pull the cloak off before waking her and she relaxed.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" she whispered franticly.

"Don't have to whisper Gin-bug. No one can hear us." He grinned at her widely and leaned in to kiss her. "I missed you, and I had to check on you. Dumbledore intercepted us on the way up here and made us come to his office instead of seeing you."

She raised her eyebrow, curious. "He was here when I woke up, but I thought today wasn't one of your special lessons with him."

"It wasn't… he wanted to tell us about what he asked you to do."

Ginny began to hyperventilate, not ready for him to confront her about playing with his emotions. "Harry I can explain."

Harry sighed. "Relax Ginny. None of us like you having to make friends with Malfoy and those stupid Slytherins, but we understand."

Yes, she was confused. "What exactly did he tell you?"

"He said you couldn't tell us everything, but he asked you to befriend some of the kids of death eaters so you could help us figure out when they were going to take the mark."

She felt relief flood through her. They had found a way after all. "I'm so glad he told you Harry, I've been dying of stress trying to hide it from you all."

He smiled at her and laced his fingers through hers. "It makes your outburst the day make more sense you know. I thought you were talking out of character… talking about 'Mione's parents in that anti-muggles kinda way." Anger crossed her features. "Hey calm down Gin, I'm not saying she wasn't in the wrong, I'm just saying you weren't yourself."

"And what do you know about me Harry? When we're together all you want to do is snog me, you never ask about me and my likes and dreams. As a matter of fact, you didn't even look at me until this summer." She was very angry by this point, and magic pulsed through her. Harry must have felt the shock of it as he snatched his hand back from her grasp.

"Ginny, calm down. You're on a lot of potions and they're making you anxious and agitated." He was panicking now.

"No Harry, I'm not. Why don't you leave now? I don't want to talk to you." He looked so vulnerable in that minute Ginny almost felt bad. But it was such bullshit to her. She was guilty of a lot of things but he wasn't innocent either. He really didn't ask anything about her in the relationship, it was 90% physical and she wasn't letting him off the hook that easily. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him as he made his way out of the hospital wing, flicking his wand to dispel his charms as he left.

Sleep didn't come back to her easily. She cast a lumos and pulled out one of her school books to study. Now that she'd be able to see Draco more it would be easier to be herself, but she needed a way to help him see more of the light side. Her mind couldn't concentrate on the school work so she pulled a parchment and quill out. Draco deserved a chance and she was going to give it to him.

-DGDGDG-

Ginny was setting up the final touches for her meeting with Draco in the Room of Requirements. He hadn't been a member of the DA so he wouldn't recognize the basic set up of her room and the small changes she made. She heard him enter the room but didn't turn toward him yet, instead she transfigured some of the dummies into chairs and poured them each a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"I got your note this morning… Are you okay? I heard you were in the hospital again." Draco had moved across the room quickly and he pressed a kiss to the back of her neck.

She quivered as his lips touched her skin and spun around into his arms to kiss him. "I'll be fine, Draco. I missed you though."

He smiled and lifted her up to spin her around. "So what's up with the room? We working on your homework or something?"

She laughed and led him over to the chair. "No… No homework for me. You however, are getting a big assignment from me."

He raised his eyebrows and leaned forward slowly. "Oh really Miss Weasley? And if I fail this assignment are you going to be giving me a detention?" his voice was low and seductive and it took everything Ginny had not to jump in his lap and kiss him.

"Draco you're going to make this more difficult than it has to be." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Tell me, what do you know about Occlumency?"

At her question he looked truly confused. "Isn't that protecting your mind?" She nodded at him. "I don't know much… why?"

She smiled at him and pulled out the book Severus had given her to explain the concept. "Because, my dear Draco, this is what you and I will be doing until you can keep your secrets from the prying eyes of meddling old men."

Ginny didn't elaborate at all, just began explaining the concept of theory behind occlumency to him. They spent a good hour before Draco felt comfortable enough to try the practical application and Ginny began to probe his mind. She tried not to invade his privacy too much and just let a second of each memory play by until he was on the floor panting from the exertion of attempting to push her out of his mind. They repeated the process several times before they took a break and she handed him some Honeyduke's chocolate. She didn't give him much of a break and kept him until right before curfew working on shielding his mind. He needed the skill nearly as much as she did for the plans she made in her mind the night before and she wasn't about to give up. When the time came to part she gave him a slow and sensual kiss and caressed his cheek.

"When you are able to shield your mind there will be so much more you're capable of my love. I'm going to protect you from things you couldn't imagine going on right now." She couldn't take her eyes off his as she thought of all the things she couldn't tell him and felt guilty.

"I thought it was my job to protect my sweet lady from all the harms of the world," he joked back at her, eyes smoldering.

She kissed him again, leaving it simple and short. "And one day I'm sure you will. Good night Draco."

He brought her knuckles to his lips and kissed them softly before he let her go. "Good night Ginerva."