Chapter 14 – Kissing You
I wasn't sure if I was conscious, I could still feel the pain that went through my body but there was nothing but darkness before my eyes. I was getting really scared by now. I didn't want to die, or whatever it is we vampires do. I don't even know what happens to us when we do. I don't believe I would ever go to heaven although I had always hoped to see my parents there again after..
"Juliette!" I heard my name and it woke me up again even though I was still momentarily blind.
"Juliette my god what happened, stay with me..open your eyes. Open your eyes Juliette!"
But my eyes were open weren't they?
"Matt! Taylor!" I heard the hopeless cry for help from my love. Other voices joined his.
"What happened?"
"Who did this?"
"Where's Chase?" Matt asked all of a sudden as I was trying desperately to move my hand to touch Caleb wherever he was.
"Chase God damn it, where are you?!" Matt yelled and I could hear him run away.
"We need antidote Caleb, now. Get it!" Taylor demanded.
"No." I found the strength to say it. "Caleb don't…" I paused to fight the pain "leave."
I heard a moment of hesitation and I tried to open my eyes.
"Jules, oh Jules please hang on." He was with me the moment I opened my eyes. He held my head in his hands, crying and caressing my face and hair gently with his trembling hand.
"Get her inside." Matt was back and he saw I had opened my eyes. "Don't worry Juliette, everything will be okay." He tried to comfort me.
Caleb carried me inside and lay me down on the couch, never leaving my side as Matt and Taylor were searching through cabins and closets. They came back with little bottles and needles and other things that only belong in hospitals.
"I'm so scared Caleb." I stuttered fighting the pain. "Because if I die..will there be room for me in heaven? Where will I go?"
"You won't die Jules, you can't." he cried, it was such a painful thing to see. Pure desperation on his face. Chase walked into the room and I got even more scared, because I knew, I felt he was the one who did this to me. I felt like a trapped animal that could never escape it's hunter. Chase seemed taller and stronger then ever before.
"Did you do this?" Caleb asked his cousin through clenched teeth. Chase didn't answer but gently took off his coat.
"Did you.." Caleb looks at me for a moment "Do this?"
"I didn't know it was her, I wanted to protect you. All of us." Chase answered as if he had done nothing wrong. And maybe –in his eyes- he had done the right thing. I was, after all, their enemy. But Caleb thought different about that as he attacked his brother. The both of them fought all through the living room. At last Chase ended it as he pushed Caleb to the front door, holding him up from the ground.
"You know I'm stronger. This is useless."
"He's right Caleb, now come on over and help us." Matt said slowly as he prepared a needle. I always had been scared of those things when I was still human. Caleb took my hand and sat beside the couch on the ground.
"It'll be alright Juliette. It'll be okay." I knew I was too scared to believe him and I held on to his hand as tight as I could as the needle came closer. Matt stuck the needle in right beside the arrow. I had never felt so much physical pain after I had changed into the monster I am now. It was the strangest feeling. Like your body was so cold or hot it hurt, it stung as if there were pieces of glass all through it. I know I must've screamed, but I couldn't remember what had really happened because I woke up afterwards, in Caleb's bed.
"Hey." When I opened my eyes Caleb was there.
"How could I have slept?" was the first thing I could ask, because it was impossible.
"You didn't exactly sleep." Caleb said awkwardly "We kind of stopped brain activity for a while.."
"You killed my brain?" I asked shocked.
"No, no because if we did you wouldn't be here right now..alive. But it was like it for a while. We usually use it to kill vampire brains yes, but we used a rather small amount with you. To save you." he smiles. I tried to sit up in bed but he stopped me.
"Your body is still too weak. Not all the poison is out of your system yet because well..you have no running blood. It makes it harder to clean all your veins."
"I don't understand."
"You might feel pain every now and then, I think it will take a week before that stops. We will have to give you an injection every hour for the first two days, after which you'll only need one once a day. If you don't get your antidote in time the poison can still kill you so we need to be very careful."
"I meant, I don't understand what happened." When I asked what happened Caleb froze. He got up and walked toward the window staring out of it.
"I made you a drawing." He said as he walked to his desk and handed me a piece of paper. I didn't look at it.
"I want to know what happened Caleb."
"Chase thought..Chase thought you were him. Nathaniel. He could only smell the scent of you and Nathaniel combined so he couldn't guess which of you it was. So he guessed wrong."
"I'm sorry. I should've called." I whispered when I seemed to have upset Caleb.
"It's not your fault, it's just…Chase and I haven't been getting along much lately..after Matt helped you, gave you your first injection, things got pretty bad. Aiden got home and he and Chase refused to help you any longer. I got in a fight with Chase..but he didn't fight fair, it's not easy to fight a werewolf in his wolf state. Matt and Taylor helped me, even my mum tried to protect me. Aiden got angry and lost control because Matt had hurt Chase pretty badly. And as our mother tried to protect Matt Aiden attacked her. Nothing really bad luckily, but she went away to another hunters group. Denying we were family, rejecting us as her sons. Keira called this morning that they are leaving for Denmark in the morning, Penny's going with them as well."
We were both silent for a while as I got up and crawled of the bed to get to him. He sat down on the bed as I gently ran my fingers through his hair. I looked down at his arm, his wrist still broken. I had done all of this to him. I understood what Edward meant, we really were selfish to think we deserved love. My eyes focused on the tiniest scratch in his neck where his tanned skin had been ripped apart by something sharp. My finger touched the scratch and he jerked away. Looking at me. I came closer again and pulled down the collar of his shirt a little. The scratch became bigger and I knew what must have happened.
"Let me see it." I asked and he took off his shirt, the scratch was all over his back. Except it wasn't just one cut, it where three similar cuts. A werewolf had done this.
"Caleb I am so sorry." He got up and shook my hand off of his shoulder as he rushed his shirt back on not bothering to button it up.
"Well you don't have to be. I love you, and if my family can't accept that I will bear the consequences, not you."
"But Caleb,"
"Jules, I'm so scared of losing you…you are what I live for. My family…they have different," he paused "Expectations. And even though I was born to be..what they want me to be. I won't be that guy, ever. I don't want to be him, I want to be someone you can be proud of."
"But I am proud of you, you're the best person on this planet. And you're born to protect the people on it, and if that means killing monsters, than you should kill them. Just know that not all of us are what you're family thinks we are."
"But I want them to see what a wonderful creature you are, and your family, how amazing you all are. I want them to feel as happy as I do knowing you." He sat down on the bed again and I felt that I had to control myself even in this weak state.
"I want them to feel the love I feel.." he said as he bend down and I could feel his legs touch mine, his hands placed beside me to hold him up above me. I could see his face above mine and I could smell his breath. I was completely enchanted by his presence. And although I felt the urge to kill, to feed, something else was stronger. The urge to touch, to hold and to kiss him. The human desire to love.
"Wherever you will go, Juliette, I'll follow." He whispered as he bend down his head even more, allowing himself to stop supporting his body and to lay down. First he kissed my neck, something that made me even more dizzy than ever before. The feeling was indescribable. Then he kissed me and I had the feeling I was going to lose my self control, holding him tighter. The warmth of his body against mine was a strange sensation. His fingers traced my face, my neck, my shoulder and my arm, his hand followed the way down my leg as far as he could reach without our lips having to part and I knew it was all too much. I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself any longer and that's when he stopped kissing me.
"You do know you can't hurt me right?" he asked and his tone made me laugh even though that was exactly what I was scared of. When I didn't answer and just looked at him he continued;
"Jules, I adapt my strength and senses to yours remember..the only thing that can happen is.."
"That I'll attack you." I finish his sentence.
"Well yes, but I'll stop you and there won't be any harm done." He was perfectly serious.
"I would be so ashamed of myself Caleb."
"Don't be. I want you to be yourself when you're with me, and I know I'm going to see some of your bad side someday." I felt one eyebrow raise as I looked at him in confusion.
"I'm planning to stay with you for the rest of my life, you can't hold back for that long can you?" he grinned.
"Just not yet." I sighed.
"Not yet." Caleb repeats as he smiles gently and pulls himself off of me.