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Chapter 14
"AJ would have hated this. I know he wouldn't want this big spectacle." Emily said as they stood in one of the private rooms in the rear of the church. "I'm pretty sure that my parents tried to ignore every single one of the final instructions that Justus gave them."
"At least Lila was able to honor AJ's wish that they be buried in the family crypt." Liz said from the soft chair she was sitting in. "I offered to speak to Monica and Alan about the size of the guest list, but your grandmother requested I didn't."
"It seemed like every time I went up to the mansion the family was screaming at one another." Emily said shaking her head. "It made me want to throw up."
"When we were at the house last night for dinner your father still was trying to get Jason to tell your grandmother that AJ and Carly wouldn't want to be in the family crypt even though that issue had already been settled." Liz said shaking her head.
"Nothing in this family is ever settled. Get used to that. Something you did ten years ago will be dragged out into the light if a point needs to be made." Emily said frowning. "Are you nervous?"
"Terrified. Public speaking isn't my thing." Liz told her friend. Over the past week she had gotten to know Emily better, and now that the young doctor was moving home they were both looking forward to hanging out. "Only for Carly would I stand in front of all those people and talk."
"I'm sure you'll do great." Emily was feeling the weight of the day, but she had to smile at her new friend. She could see how happy her brother was whenever Liz was around. "Jason will be up front so if you get nervous you can look at him. I'm sure I'll be looking at Matt most of the time I'm up there." She was used to talking in front of a group for work, but this didn't feel anything like that.
"I'm more concerned about crying so hard no one will understand me." Liz had been in tears all morning. Before she left her apartment she had taken some aspirin hoping to stave off a headache.
"You'll look lovely though." Emily said which made them both laugh. Carly used to always say that even if you were having a bad day if you looked good that was really what mattered. She was joking of course, and it always made them laugh.
"Carly hated black. I would have worn red but I'm pretty sure it would have scandalized someone. I probably would have been banned from the church." Liz told Emily. Elizabeth was in the only black dress she owned. A simple knee length sleeveless garment with a tulle skirt. It was paired with a tailored wool cardigan because the church was chilly. She had put in her emerald earrings to bring some color to the outfit, and lace shoes because Carly had been there when they were purchased.
"I would have paid money to see that." Emily said enjoying the laugh. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"Go ahead." Liz couldn't figure what Emily might ask that she wouldn't want to answer.
"How do you get over the loss of a sibling?" Emily wanted to know. She had heard Jason say that Liz lost her sister at a young age.
Liz took a moment before answering. "You don't, not really. I still miss Sarah." She said quietly. "You pick up the pieces of your life and you move forward. You smile, and laugh. You experience joy and love, but you never get over the fact that they are gone. I still have days where I come across something and think that Sarah would have loved it. Or I have days where I wonder what she would be doing with her life now. Her birthday is brutal, and so is the day she died." Liz said being honest. "It took me a few months before I could look at pictures of her without bawling my eyes out, but eventually I moved forward. She would want me to be happy, just like AJ would want you to be happy. They wouldn't expect us to stop living because they have."
Emily wiped away tears. "Thank you. I needed to hear that. I'm really excited about moving home, and yesterday such a wave of guilt hit me that I could be so happy about something when I was a day away from burying my brother and sister in-law."
"That feeling will pass." Liz promised Emily. "Give yourself time."
"Thank you." Emily repeated, she knew Liz didn't have to talk about such a personal experience. Her sister was probably very much on her mind today. What she had shared would help in the coming days. "We should probably get out there." The service would be starting soon. Emily needed to give her parents and grandfather time to complain that she hadn't been out to greet those in attendance. She just didn't have it in her to do that.
They were getting out of the chairs as a knock sounded and when the door opened Jason was standing there. "We're about to start." He told both ladies. He had spent the morning sitting with his grandmother and pretending everyone else wasn't there. His grandfather was complaining about the security that was in place, but Jason just ignored him.
"I'm going to go find Matt." Emily said heading out into the main part of the church.
"How are you doing?" Jason asked pulling Elizabeth close.
"Tired. I didn't sleep last night." Liz said leaning into him.
"Would you like to come up to the penthouse tonight?" Jason asked holding her tighter. He hadn't slept much either.
"Yes, thank you." Liz wasn't going to want to be alone later. "I just need to get through the service." She said as the tears started again.
"You'll do great." Jason said rubbing her back. "You loved Carly and she knew that."
"I hope I make her proud." Liz said feeling safe and warm in Jason's arms. "Come on. I can't hide back here forever." They walked out into the main hall and Liz stopped short.
"I didn't know she was coming." He looked down at his girlfriend.
"Me either. Go have a seat, I'll be in shortly." Liz walked over and was immediately engulfed in a big hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Your friend died. Did you really think I could sit at home being shallow while you're here in pain?" Brenda said to her friend. "I'm selfish, but not that selfish."
"I didn't expect you to fly to the east coast for one day. A call would have been fine." Liz told her friend.
"I'm not going to irritate Jason." Brenda knew what Liz was worried about. "I'm not even planning on talking to him, although I do like the way he was looking at you. I just wanted to be here for you. I'm flying out tonight after I make sure you have groceries in your cupboard."
"Thank you Brenda." Liz said getting another hug. It was wonderful to be cared for. "Another friendly face will be nice because I'm giving Carly's eulogy."
"You'll do great." Brenda hadn't liked Carly, and the feeling was mutual. They had agreed to play nice for Liz. It helped that they didn't expect to see one another outside of Brenda's one prior visit to Port Charles.
"Elizabeth." Monica was standing in the doorway to the nave. "We are ready to begin." The tone of her voice implied that Liz was holding things up.
"I'm coming." Liz turned back to Brenda. "I need to go in. Grab a seat."
"Don't worry about me." Brenda said smiling at her friend. Monica was someone else the model could do without. "Let's get some seats." She said to Alek who had been standing by watching the friends talk.
Elizabeth sat in the front pew of the church with Jason's hand holding hers. Lila was sitting with them, so were Emily, Matt, Skye, and Cody. The rest of the family was sitting in the first pew on the other side of the aisle. Liz didn't question it.
They started with one of Carly's favorite hymns, and then Father Coates delivered a sermon using the same scripture that the deceased couple had highlighted at their wedding. After that they sang one of AJ's favorite hymns before Emily walked up to the pulpit.
Earlier in the week Liz had sat in the mansion and watched Monica argue with Lila about whether or not it was even necessary for two eulogies to be delivered. That it was just a waste of time. Dr. Quartermaine had said that if Emily mentioned Carly a few times that would be good enough. Monica made it a point to mention Carly wouldn't even have any family there. By the end of that conversation Liz heard Lila use a few words she didn't realize the older woman knew.
"For those of you who don't know me, I'm Dr. Emily Hunter. AJ's youngest sister. I'm one of three siblings he had. Growing up as a Quartermaine had its challenges, and as the eldest no one knew that more than my brother. He bore the weight of expectation. From our grandfather it was that AJ would one day run the family business. From our parents it was that he would pursue a career in medicine like they had." Emily paused and looked at the paper she had written her eulogy on. She was pretty sure her parents were not going to like what she had to say, but in his will AJ had asked that she not make him out to be some sort of saint since he wasn't. He wanted her honest thoughts.
"In the end he chose to not go down either of the paths that had been selected for him, but instead he honored the person he needed to be. Unfortunately between the time he was living with all that pressure and when he finally decided to live life on his terms he made some very bad choices. The biggest of which almost cost our brother Jason his life."
Emily took a deep breath. "But despite the fact that our grandfather, and our parents spent a lot of time disappointed in AJ, he was always a good brother. I'm not saying he was perfect, because he wasn't. I'm not saying we always got along, because we didn't. If you have siblings then you know what I'm talking about. My brother could be a royal pain, and I'm sure if asked he would have said the same thing about me. However whenever I needed him he was always there. When I was going through my own struggles he put aside his to help me find my way. When I remember my brother I'll remember how strong he was. How he was able to find the person he was meant to be and stay true to that vision. How he loved others, and in turn was loved. How he smiled when he talked about his wife Carly, and the life they were building together."
She wiped away a few tears. "I'm going to miss my brother. I'm still struggling with how my reality has shifted. With the fact that I won't get to see my brother or hear his voice outside of a recording, or get one of his amazing hugs. But I won't miss how much he loved me, because I can still feel it. I'll always feel it. For the rest of my life I'll know that he loved me, and I'll treasure that gift."
With that Emily stepped down and walked into the open arms of her husband. Jason leaned over and gave his sister a kiss on her forehead. Lila smiled and nodded at her granddaughter. She thought AJ would have been pleased with the words his sister had said.
They sang another hymn and then it was Elizabeth's turn. She got a smile from Jason before taking her turn at the pulpit. Looking out she saw a sea of faces and managed to find Brenda who gave her a discreet thumbs up. Looking down at the papers she brought with her Liz took a deep breath and began.
"I moved to Port Charles to get away from my real life. The goal was to hide because I didn't know anyone here. It was working until one day I met one of my neighbors. One who was determined that we needed to be friends. And she was right." Liz said smiling. "Carly brought such light into my life, and she brought laughter into my life. Best of all she brought more friends into my life."
"Carly was an outgoing person, and everyone she came into contact with was someone she wanted to take care of. Some people just thought she was loud and outrageous, which she was, but she also had the biggest heart of anyone you could met. A heart that she eventually gave to AJ Quartermaine."
Liz wiped away her tears and kept going. Emily had cut her remarks short after reading what Elizabeth planned to say. The doctor wanted everyone to hear this story. One that even she didn't know.
"Carly moved to Port Charles for work. She ran a very successful club in New York City, for Jasper Jacks. When he decided to open a club in the upper part of the state he asked her to manage it. He needed someone that he could trust because he wasn't planning on making many visits to the small town. Something that might leave his business vulnerable to an unscrupulous manager. He wanted his club here because of the record company that his friend Ned's wife, Lois Ashton, was starting. The club would be a good place to showcase the up and coming musicians. It would benefit them both from a business perspective. Carly wasn't convinced that such a small town could support a club, but she came anyway."
"Club 101 was, and still is, a rousing success. A lot of people credit that with Carly making it such a welcoming environment. She worked there as the general manager until she and AJ left for London. But she didn't stay just because she enjoyed the challenge of running a successful club, or because she needed to prove that she had no problem working. She stayed because that was the place she and AJ met."
Liz looked over at Jason who just nodded. "One night when Carly had been there about six months a man walked into the club. She was behind the bar because she was short a bartender, and the one she had was on break. The new customer ordered a Scotch with instructions to keep them coming. Carly's response was no. The man in front of her was AJ. His picture, and his struggles, had been in the paper almost non-stop. Starting with the night he almost killed his brother, right through his leaving for rehab, to his return home. A return that was not going well. It was going so badly in fact, that he decided being sober wasn't worth it."
"He told her that she could serve him, or he could go somewhere else. She pointed to her bouncer and said AJ wasn't leaving. What he could do was sit at the bar, drink the many club sodas she was willing to provide him at no charge, and enjoy the musical act for the evening. When her bartender returned she would even come sit and keep him company. He accepted her offer because he didn't have a choice and they talked for the rest of the night. Only stopping when she stepped away to call Ned and tell him his cousin was planning on ruining his life, because Carly got that once the club closed AJ was going to try to get that drink somewhere else."
"He left when she closed up for the night, and she didn't see him again for almost eight months. In fact she didn't expect to ever see him again. AJ ended up going back to rehab, he realized he needed more help. He eventually came home again and mended fences with his brother. He let the love of his grandmother and sister Emily help him deal with his daily struggles. He went to work for Lois, at her record company, because it was something new. AJ didn't know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, but he did know it wasn't running ELQ. Then one night, when he was ready, he walked into Club 101 and asked Carly to have dinner with him."
"They were together ever since." Liz had to wipe away more tears. "Carly never knew that I heard that story. She wouldn't have seen it as something that needed to be shared. It was just her being who she was. AJ was the one to tell me. He was sitting at a table at their going away party and looking across the room at his wife as he told me. He wanted someone else to see her the way he did. Wanted someone else to see her heart. He said she was his shining light. No matter what name other people in their lives gave her she was always his shining light, and for her he was the man who made life make sense."
"I already knew that side of Carly. Others didn't, but I did. I was her friend and that meant I had her loyalty. If someone came after me, they had to get through her first. She even pretended to like one of my friends so that I wouldn't have to feel like I needed to choose between them. If you were in her life then Carly saw it as her responsibility to make sure you were taken care of. It wasn't something I ever took for granted, and it's something I'll miss. Along with her smile, her laugh, and her love of life. Like Emily said she would always feel her brother's love, I'll always feel like I've got a guardian angel watching out for me."
With her words concluded Liz walked back to where Jason was waiting. She let him hold her close and then took the handkerchief that he was holding out. Emily reached over and squeezed Elizabeth's hand as Lila gently rubbed her shoulder. Skye gave her friend a sad smile. For her part Liz just wanted to curl up and sleep. The pain was sharp today, but tomorrow it would start to fade.
Father Coates took the pulpit once more and invited those gathered to join him in prayer. As she closed her eyes Liz felt Jason's hand cover hers. The pain was sharp but she wasn't alone, she had Carly to thank for that.
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