What da Fu-! Things we didn't see in Mass Effect but should've

by shottymario

As the title points out, this is a collection of scenes re-worked to add back in LOGIC and remove Logic FIAL's that were there in our beloved series. Yes, beyond the God-child, FAR beyond the glitter boy there were SERIOUS flaws in the game logic, and I'm not just talking about replacing unlimited firepower with thermal clips. Read on and enjoy the FIAL!

14. The Collector's Ship

Shepard's red hair was practically a-fire. "That son of a bitch set us up! Walked us right into enemy hands!"

"I'm sure he had a valid reason, Shepard, I mean, look at my ass! He wouldn't just send ME to die, he wants what I give him!" Miranda retorted.

Shepard bitch slapped Miranda, once, twice, three times. "Did THAT get through your bubble butt haze, bitch? The Illusive Man FAKED A FUCKING SIGNAL to lure US, not the Collectors, US, into a battle we are NOT ready for! To get INTEL? Are you KIDDING ME? He has an army at his disposal, not to mention countless mech's AND mercs he could've hired for this! God, you're right, you don't have any silicone in your tits, it's all between your EARS!"

"Oh, shit, you're right! How stupid could I have been not to realize he has already got his own set of Miranda clones! Illusive...I-I loved you!"

With Miranda sobbing her heart out, down on her knees, face buried in her hands, Shepard, the smallest breasts in the room now that Ashley had... "filled out" her new uniform that came with promotion picked up not one of the super weapons left laying around on the floor, strangely, from multiple races, including Geth, which makes no sense at all because the Collectors are not working with the Geth, nor would they pick up Geth to make a human reaper hybrid ship but whatever, and passed the weapons out, including to James Vega, a human who had been discovered to be working with Liara's one time student (even though Liara was hardly more than a young woman herself and laughed out of every scholastic institution for her age and ludicrous Prothean theories so HOW she became a teacher somewhere is beyond me) AND had been the victim of Collector attack and was the only survivor with any intel on the Collectors so Shepard had recruited him IMMEDIATELY upon the Illusive Man's discovery of his existence.

"Vega, hold this shit, Liara, get a stasis bubble on Miranda so we can get her back to the ship, Ashley, grab a Revenant and let's go kick someone's ass!"

"You got it, Lola."

"Absolutely, Commander."

"Why do you think the Commander keeps her around, anyway? She's obviously not very perceptive." Liara whispered to Ashley.

"Sometimes I think Shepard is a man in a woman's body, as soon as he can figure out how to get a four-way between you, me, and her, we're all going to be roped up to that Captain's bed." Ashley growled.