Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. They belong to JK Rowling and company. I just use them for my own wish fulfillment and amusement.

Summary: It's sixth year and Severus Snape is dying to get Lily Evans to give him a chance at being her boyfriend. He challenges her to two weeks over the Christmas holidays to give him a shot. And if it doesn't work, he'll leave her alone forever. Will he be able to win her heart? Or will her burgeoning crush on James Potter win out over her friendship with Severus?

AUTHORS NOTE: This is a re-posting of this story. I took it down before due to several negative responses and decided I wanted to tweak a few parts, especially the ending. But this is the same story as before, thus far, so no need to read it again. The new parts will be posted as I finish them. But do remember this story is posted under 'angst'. I have taken some liberties with the characters because frankly we don't know that much about James and Lily and Severus as a boy. But this is not an AU story. It's more of a 'what if' scenario that this holiday could have happened and we'd never know about it. So if you're looking for a fluffy story, this isn't it. Be prepared for some tough stuff for my favorite characters. Snape wouldn't be Snape if he didn't suffer. So with that said, I am putting this story back up, but am re-doing the last part I posted (that not many of you probably saw) And if this is your first time reading this, welcome to my story. I hope you'll enjoy it. And if not, that's okay too. This is the story I wanted to tell. I just think I can tell the ending better than I originally did. Thanks for reading along.

This chapter is new material that I never posted before.

Holiday of Hope

A few days passed and people were still talking about the journal. Mainly because several students still had copies of certain pages, even though they'd finally managed to get the papers off the corridor walls. But Severus kept getting attention that was both supportive and embarrassing and he wished he could be invisible. Some guys were saying they'd feel the exact same way he did, and others were just making fun of his private thoughts. Lily was not faring a whole lot better as she was the butt of jokes and several guys asked her for a pity boob grab too. She'd never been more humiliated in her life, but after some thought, she didn't think Severus did it. She didn't know who did it. James was being ultra-supportive and disgusted on her behalf. So she didn't suspect him of doing it, because he'd never want to mortify her like this. But that just left it a huge mystery. No one knew who did it. And no one was talking. It appeared that somehow someone magically summoned the journal from the bag. It was the only thing they could think of. But to summon it, meant you had to know it existed, and that left the list of suspects very small. And they all pointed back to Severus's friends. Even he couldn't deny that they looked guilty when they were the only ones besides Lily and his mum that knew the journal existed. And for that, he was treating them quite chilly. It's one thing if they wanted to get at James and Sirius like in the courtyard, but to go after Lily? That crossed a line in Severus's eyes. Not to mention they made him look like a huge pervert and a fool. But they swore up and down that they had nothing to do with it. But the way they'd laugh every time it was brought up, wasn't helping their case. So Severus just gave them the cold shoulder. Which was an unplanned side effect of James's plan. Severus losing all his friends for the time being. That was like the bonus in an otherwise horribly executed plot. At least now, Severus had no one who was going to attack them in the courtyard. Until they made up anyway.

But James felt like a shit for what he did. He was a smart guy, but sometimes his need for childish revenge rendered him an imbecile. He should have looked at that book more carefully before leaking it to the masses. He was still disgusted by what Lily had done, but he promised her he didn't think less of her. Which he didn't. He just didn't understand why she'd do what she did. But he had to sit and hear her explain how she thought she might have feelings for Snivelly, which wasn't easy to listen to. But it ended well when she said she didn't. And that right now, she couldn't even look at him. She wasn't blaming him anymore, but she was so horrified by the frankness of his words in the journal that it made her sound like a cheap piece of meat and not the girl he claimed to love. Talking about pity fucks and wanking material did not get him on her good side. Or that he accused her of being a tease. Which she swore to James she wasn't, but secretly he kind of agreed with Sevvy on this one. She was a tease sometimes. But that was Snivelly's fault for coming up with some harebrained scheme about experimenting to see if she liked him or not. That was just asking for heartbreak. Not that James cared. But it was still a bad plan. And now the whole school knew about it all. He just tried to be as nice as he could to Lily and be her shoulder to cry on. It was working nicely. The plan was very flawed but it wasn't without its perks. James called it a win, he just had to make sure that Lily never, ever found out it was him who left the book out. Otherwise he was a dead man.

Lily was making her way to potions class when Severus caught up to her and tried to speak to her.

"Lily, wait. We need to talk," he told her desperately.

She whirled around to face him.

"We have nothing to talk about," she told him.

"You can't honestly still think it was me who leaked that journal."

"No, I don't. I realized you'd never share those thoughts willingly with anyone," she admitted.

"So then why are you avoiding me like I've got dragon pox?" he asked sadly.

"Because! How can I even look at you? I read what you wrote. It's embarrassing!" she told him.

"Come on, you had to know I was thinking most of that stuff. I'm a guy, remember? You just weren't supposed to ever read it," he explained.

"Did you really…I mean, after touching me, did you really…oh, I can't even say it!" she cried, hiding her face in her hands.

"Lily, stop. Just forget the stupid journal. Don't make me talk about it," he said uncomfortably.

"But did you?"

He let out a long sigh.

"I'm a guy, Lily. Yes! For crying out loud, yes I did."

"Eww. In my house? With me in it?" she asked with a horrified expression.

"No! Not in your house. I waited till I was home. God, give me a little credit. I wasn't wanking in the bed with you. I didn't spunk all over your flowery sheets. So relax," he said with some frustration.

"Do you have to be so vulgar?" she groaned.

"You're the one asking me the horrible questions! Besides, are you really so naïve you don't think guys do that?"

"I know they do. I just never knew, knew. Like about me. It's weird," she made a face.

"Why don't you ask your precious James if he's ever had a good wank over you? I can guarantee he has," Severus said with a pointed look.

"I'd never ask him! I don't want to know," she turned up her nose.

"Don't tell me girls don't do it too. I know they do. They just pretend they don't," Severus shot back at her.

"Well I didn't do it over you!" she said quickly.

He just shook his head.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that. But the point I'm making is that it's not that big of a deal. So stop looking at me like I'm masturbating in an old raincoat in the hallways at school like some kind of creeper in the park!"

She looked at the humiliation and desperation on his face. She felt badly for treating him this way. She was just unnerved by it.

"Alright, I'm sorry. But we really have to get to class. We're going to be late," she told him, trying to change the subject.

"Fine. It's just, don't be afraid to talk to me. We're still supposed to be friends, remember?" he told her.

"Right. Friends. Except you think I'm a tease," she said somewhat dejectedly.

"No, I didn't say that exactly. I just wondered if you knew what you did to me. And I guess you didn't," he admitted.

"No, I really didn't. Maybe I am naïve? It just never occurred to me."

"Well can we forget it then? Please?" he implored her.

"Alright. I'll try to forget it. If people would stop bringing it up, it would help."

"Yeah, I know. But we can move past it. Just ignore them all."

"I'll try," she smiled slightly.

"Come on, let's get to class."

They walked together slowly and tried their best to ignore the snide comments.

"Don't get too close to her! You might blow!" someone shouted after them, and Severus just closed his eyes.

"Ready to give old Sev another go round? There's a broom cupboard on the fourth floor!" someone else shouted to Lily.

"Ugh, right, this is so not going to work. We'll never live this down," she lamented as they entered potions class and found their desks.

Severus wanted to kill whoever leaked that journal. It was making things so much harder and worse between him and Lily. At first she hated him, thinking he did it. Then now she was just embarrassed to be seen with him at all. He wish he could find out who did it. He would definitely make them pay.

Severus sat in his common room, wracking his brain to figure out who took the journal. He wouldn't rest until he found out. Whoever they were, were making his life a living hell. His two best mates, who he had been suspicious about, walked in and sat down next to him.

"What're you looking so intense about? Thinking of having a wank again?" Mulciber ribbed him.

"Shut up. I'm trying to figure out who stole my journal. And since you two say it wasn't you guys, who else could it be? Did you tell anyone else I had it?" Severus asked Mulciber and Wilkes.

"Man, I'm telling you, no one knew," Wilkes explained for the hundredth time.

"You sure you never mentioned it to anyone?" he asked.

"Wait. No, remember there was that one time you mentioned it to Rosier at lunch. It was awhile back, but he'd asked why Severus was so quiet and you mentioned his journal!" Mulciber reminded Wilkes.

"Rosier? You told him about the journal?" Severus asked.

"Shit, yeah, I did. But I didn't think anything of it. He's your mate. He's our mate. He'd never do this," Wilkes shook his head.

"Did anyone else overhear it?" Severus wondered.

"I don't think so. I didn't shout it. I barely mentioned it at all."

"Yeah, it was real quick. We didn't spend a lot of time talking about it. So unless someone was invisible or something, they'd never of heard us," Mulciber explained.

"Invisible?" Severus suddenly got curious. "Can someone make themselves invisible? Is there a spell for that?"

"No. You'd need an Invisibility Cloak. And no one here has one of those. We'd know if they did."

"How would we know? It's invisible!" Severus pointed out.

"Well I sure as hell don't have one," Wilkes said throwing up his hands.

"Someone might. Who do you think would?" Mulciber asked Severus.

"James. I bet you five hundred galleons that fucker has a cloak."

"You don't have five hundred galleons. And I seriously doubt it. He'd probably be using it all the time if he had one. I know I would. Sneak into the girls showers. Oh yeah!" Mulciber laughed.

"What's to say he's not using it all the time? The point is, we'd never see him," Severus said.

"Well good luck proving it. You'll never get him to admit it. Hell, I wouldn't admit it to anyone either. It'd probably get taken away by Dumbledore," Wilkes told him.

Severus knew they were right. Even if such a thing existed, he'd never get James to admit it. And catching him using it would be near impossible. But it was an idea anyway. He still felt like James had to be behind this. If it wasn't his own friends playing a prank, there was only one other person who had it in for him. James fucking Potter. And he'd make it his life's mission to find out the truth.

James and his friends sat by a tree during a break from classes. They had a free period and were just discussing the aftermath of their little stunt.

"So you say Lily has no idea who did it?" Sirius asked James.

"Not the slightest clue. And we keep it that way. She doesn't know about the invisibility cloak. No one does, except you three."

"And you know we've told no one," Remus spoke up.

"Precisely. So right now the two of them think someone summoned the book out of the bag. Kind of stupid because Snape would see a fucking book floating across the room. But the two of them aren't thinking clearly, which works in my favor."

"If Lily finds out, you are a dead man," Sirius laughed.

"She's never going to find out. It'll die down before she even tries to figure it out. I'm more worried about Snivelly figuring it out. He's got a brain on him," James fretted.

"Yeah a perverted brain," Peter chuckled.

"Be that as it may, he's no dummy. He may be a lot of bad things, but stupid isn't one of them. So just be extra careful not to let anything slip. In fact, we shouldn't even be talking about this at all in public. He could be lurking," James said with some paranoia as he looked around and didn't see Severus anywhere.

But he did see Lily. She was walking by with her head down and James could see she was trying to blend in and not call attention to herself. But James called her over.

"Hey Lil's! Come here a minute!" he shouted after her.

She stopped walking and came over and stood by them.

"What?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"Well, I'm not really. But each day gets better. I swear if I find out who leaked that journal I won't be a tease about it. I'll stick my hand right down their pants and grab them by the bollocks and rip them off!"

"Ouch."

"Yeah, so if you guys figure out who did it, let me know okay?"

"Of course."

"Severus has some new idea which is totally ridiculous," she said with a sigh.

"What idea is that?" James wondered.

"Well he thinks someone has an invisibility cloak. I laughed in his face. Especially because he thinks it's you," she told James.

He gulped slightly and then laughed to hide his nervousness.

"What? That's crazy. Of course I don't have anything like that. I would have told you," he scoffed.

"I know. But now he has this idea in his head. I think he just loves blaming you for everything, even if I think it was his friends."

"I think it was his so-called friends too. I mean, an invisibility cloak? How desperate do you have to be to believe that?" James laughed and all his friends joined in.

"Well either way, I have to get to my next class. I'll see you guys later," she smiled and waved at them before departing.

"Fuck. I told you he has a brain. An even bigger one than I imagined. How the fuck did he figure out about the cloak?" James said with much irritation and worry.

"Relax, Prongs. So what if he did figure it out? He'll never, ever prove it. You keep it hidden. No one else knows. He'll never hear it from us," Sirius told him.

"Right. True. So what if he suspects? He'll never prove it. But damn, he's pretty fucking perceptive. God, it makes me hate him more," James lamented.

"No one is going to find out. He and his big brain can just sit and wallow about it," Remus said.

"Right. He can sit and wallow," James said with confidence.

Meanwhile, Severus refused to give up on the idea. It would make so much sense if James was listening in about the existence of the journal, and then he could be invisible and just take it. Severus remembered feeling like someone was next to him that one day before this happened. But when he looked, no one was there. But what if there was someone there? He just had no way to prove it. No access to the Gryffindor dormitory. And he doubted James just carried it around in his bag at all times. That is if it existed at all. Severus knew it was a long shot. But it made sense to him. He even tried to talk Lily into sneaking into the dorm and rooting through his stuff, but she refused. And this time it was her who told him to get over it and let it go. And he was trying to. He just wanted to get to the bottom of it. But he feared he never would. And meanwhile, James was making headway with Lily, being her shoulder to cry on. Instead of coming to him and commiserating about how awful things were, she was turning to James. And it made him ill. He was losing what little of her he had left. And the only way to ruin it would be to prove the existence of this supposed cloak. But even Severus knew it was probably a long shot.

Time went by and soon people had seem to forget the journal, for the most part. It was played out. And it wasn't as funny anymore as it used to be. By Lily's birthday, it was all ancient history it seemed. But Severus still never stopped wondering who did it, while Lily had just accepted that it was someone malicious they'd never know. And she didn't want to hear his conspiracy theories about it. So he just gave up sharing them with her. It didn't really matter anymore. But he knew deep down it had to be James behind it. Maybe he orchestrated the entire thing just to be able to comfort Lily, while making Severus look like a pervy creep? He wouldn't put it past him. But without proof, he just had to stew in it silently. Severus just wanted to concentrate on getting back in Lily's good graces by giving her a nice birthday gift. He didn't know what to get her and had no real money, so he conjured her a rose and made her a card. He stopped her in the hallway before breakfast and handed the items over.

"Happy birthday, Lily," he told her with a smile.

"Oh Severus, it's lovely. Thank you," she smiled back, smelling the rose.

"I know it's not much, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you."

"It's beautiful. So thanks. Should I read the card now?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Lily, I know things have been strained between us, but I'm hoping we can work it out. You mean that much to me. Happy birthday, Love always, Severus," she read to herself. "It's wonderful. And of course we can work it out. I'm sorry if I've been distant."

"It's okay. I know things were weird, but I want to start over. Can we do that?" he wondered.

"Yes. Starting today no more weirdness. Just friendship. I promise. Thank you for the rose and the lovely card," she said as she leaned over and hugged him quickly.

"I guess we better get to breakfast," he said with a smile.

"Yes, I'm starved."

They walked on together and made their way into the Great Hall. They immediately stopped when they found the Gryffindor table covered in lilies and boxes of chocolate. James stood there waiting for her and suddenly Severus's little rose and a card looked like nothing in comparison. She didn't even know what to do at the sight. Except she walked over closer and James was smiling huge.

"Happy birthday Lily!" he shouted and everyone at the table clapped for her.

Severus just slunk back and watched it unfold, and she was beside herself with joy and wonder at the amount of flowers and candies that awaited her. She leaned up and gave James a kiss on the cheek and then she held her face in her hands.

"I don't know what to even say," she told him.

"Just say thank you."

Severus realized his rose looked like a piece of trash fished off the side of the road now. James always had to outdo him. And this time, he couldn't throw all the candy and flowers in a river. He just turned around and walked away and went to his table to sulk.

"That's some spread of flowers over there. It's your Mudblood's birthday, I take it?" Mulciber added.

"She's not mine. And yes, it is. I really wish you'd stop calling her that," Severus said with irritation.

"Sorry. Slip of the tongue. But still, why do you even bother? Seems she's got a suitor who lavishes her with attention. You don't need her anyway," he said.

"I don't need her, but I want her. You wouldn't understand," he sighed.

"I definitely don't understand. There's so many other girls to choose from."

"Yeah, but none of them are her."

"You're never going to get her. Not with the way Potter is wooing her," Wilkes chimed in.

"I'm aware of that. Can we just not talk? I just want to eat." Severus said, trying not to look over at the Gryffindor table.

Meanwhile Lily was being bombarded with well wishes and happy birthdays. She had no idea so many people would make a big deal out of it. Especially James, who completely outdid himself.

"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble for me," she told him.

"I wanted to. You deserved it. I know it's been a rough few weeks, and I wanted to try and make up for that," James told her.

"Why? You didn't have anything to do with that."

"Yeah, but I still felt badly. Besides you deserved to be pampered a little," he smiled at her.

"What am I supposed to do with all this candy and flowers?" she asked with a laugh.

"Give the candies to friends or something. Or you could save it all for yourself and never be without candy again. As for the flowers, I'll help you carry them upstairs," James grinned.

"Well thank you. I'm touched."

And the truth was, she was touched by the sentiment. But again, it was a bit over the top and she felt like he was trying a bit too hard. She looked down at the single red rose Severus gave her and smiled over that. It was simple, but meaningful. And showed he was thinking of her without going overboard. But she knew James meant well. She just had no idea what to do with a room of flowers and candies. But he did help her carry the stuff upstairs and they just left most of the flowers in the common room, while she put the candies in her dorm, saving a few boxes to share with people. When she got to her potions class later, Severus seemed gloomy and wasn't even looking at her. She tried to remedy that by going over to him and offering him a chocolate.

"Are these James's chocolates?" he asked her.

"Yes."

"Then I don't want one. Thanks."

"Oh come on. They're not poisoned. Just have one," she urged him.

He reached over and took one and laid it on the table.

"Aren't you going to eat it?" she asked him.

"Later."

Class began and she was forced to go back to her table and she just watched as Severus took the chocolate and smooshed it and then threw it in a bin. She sighed and realized that yet again Severus was upset by James's gifts to her. Why did he have to be so impossible? She didn't understand him at all sometimes. But once class was over, she tried to make him happier.

"So, do you want to study tonight? We haven't done that in an age," she offered him.

"You don't have plans with James the great?" he wondered.

"No. And I could use your help with this latest assignment."

"Alright. In the library after supper?"

"It's a date!" she smiled and took off before he could say anything else.

But at least she was willing to be seen with him again. For a while, she avoided him because of all the crude comments. But since that had died down, he supposed she deemed him acceptable company again. He hated how things always seemed to be on her terms. But he had no control over it. Once they were at supper Dumbledore announced that they were holding a Spring dance in April. Everyone was incredibly excited except Severus. There was only one person he wanted to go with, and he knew she'd probably never say yes. But all his friends kept ribbing him to ask someone else, to which he ignored them as much as possible, and then slipped out of the dining hall early to go to the library. But the entire school was buzzing about who was going to go with who and Severus had little patience for such drama over a stupid dance. But when Lily showed up at the library she was beaming about it.

"So, there's to be a dance in April. Such fun. They've never had a dance before. Who are you going to take?" she asked him as she sat down across from him at the table.

"No one. I'm not going to the stupid dance," he told her.

"You have to! Everyone else will be there. It'll be fun," she prodded him.

"And who do you suppose I go with? My right or my left hand? Since that's all the action I can get," he said wryly.

She smacked his arm.

"Eww, stop saying crude things like that. I'm sure someone will go with you," she said trying to be supportive.

"How about you? Will you go with me?" he tossed out hopefully.

"Oh, I can't. James already asked me and I said yes," she admitted softly.

"Lovely. He didn't waste any time," Severus said snidely.

"He was just excited. And wanted to make sure he got to me first. But we're going as friends. That's it," she explained.

"Friends. Right. Okay. Look are we going to study or talk about this wretched dance affair?" he sighed.

"We can study. Sorry. I just got all giddy at the idea of something new and exciting. I mean, we hardly ever have actual fun in school. They wanted to treat us because the world is so depressing right now with You Know Who and all that."

"I understand why they did it, I just don't want to go. So can we drop it?"

"It's dropped."

"Good. Now if you'll turn to page eighty-seven in your potions book, we can get started on the lesson," he told her, trying to get into study mode.

She pulled out her book at flipped through the pages. She laid it open and just stared at it.

"I wonder what I'm going to wear? I'll need my mum to pick something and send it," she said dreamily.

"Lily, we're learning about a dangerous potion that can kill someone if it's made improperly. And you're wondering what you should wear three months from now?" he groaned.

"Sorry, it's just that's more interesting to me right now."

"Alright. We don't have to study then. I'll just study in my dorm," he said, gathering his things to leave.

"Wait! Don't go. I promise to concentrate. I just don't understand why you're not more excited. I mean, you might meet a wonderful girl to take," she offered with a smile.

"Yes, probably. And then the sun will disappear and the earth will rotate backwards. I look forward to it," he said sarcastically.

"Don't be so negative. You never know what can happen. And you say girls don't like you, but you wouldn't know because you've never really tried to date them," she pointed out.

"Because I don't want to. Don't you get that?" he asked.

"You need to stop waiting for me," she informed him.

"Waiting for you? Is that what I'm doing? You know, sometimes you really are full of yourself, Lily," he said with exasperation.

"Full of myself?" she was shocked.

"Yes. Not everything is about you. I just don't want to go. And I don't want to study either. So I'm leaving," he said grabbing up his things and leaving her in the dust.

He was sick of her always assuming that everything was always about her, even if it was. But she didn't always have to throw it in his face! He was well aware she'd never be with him and he'd stopped hoping somewhere down the line. He just was trying to be her friend. But he found that being her friend wasn't always fun. Not when she was talking about dates with James and telling him to move on. He just couldn't be around her right now. He needed space. And maybe he would ask some other girl just to prove he could? That would show her. He stalked off and decided that he'd need to talk to his friends again about a suitable girl to ask. And if he got real desperate, he could offer to do someone's homework in exchange for a date. That might actually work.

.

To be continued…please leave comments to let me know if you're liking this story or not. Thanks for reading!