A/N: Ahh! It's been absolutely forever since I've updated this story! I'm so sorry! It's been mayhem. Ihad my exams and then I moved to Scotland for University so it's all been a bit stressful! But if your reading this, thanks for staying with me.

On another note if you saw the absolutley craptastic trailer I made for this you know what I'm talking about; Tom/Voldemort's balloon was the last to deflate, creepy huh? Harry was the first :)

Anyway on with the show! Short but sweet?

Sirius Black

1st September 1971

"Black, Sirius!"

The tall, black haired boy sauntered up to the stool, avoiding the looks he knew he was getting from the Slytherin table, well he was related to half of them. He put the Hat on.

"Well if it isn't another Black," the Hat said softly, "Well I know exactly where to put you. There isn't anywhere else…"

"No." Sirius said flatly.

"Excuse me?"

"I know what your going to say. You are going to say Slytherin and I'm not going there," said Sirius with determination, "I'm not another one of those pure blood brats."

"No, your exactly like them," the Hat retorted.

"What?"

"Oh yes, coming up here, straight out of Mummy and Daddy's laps, where you get away with anything, and then expect me to put you wherever you tell me to put you. I'm sorry Mr. Black, but that's not how things work here in the real world," the Hat said firmly, "Now you are going to go where I put you whether you like it or not."

"Yessums", Sirius said meekly.

"Well at least your upbringing taught you some manners at least. Now lets have a good look in here… ah yes… very interesting indeed…"

"What? What is there? Please tell me I'm actually a squib. That would be sooo good to tell Mother!" Sirius said dreamily.

"No, no my dear boy. Quite the opposite in fact. You have quite the magical ability, in fact, it seems the best place for you would be RAVEN…"

"Eh, no. That would mean I would actually have to work wouldn't it?"

"Well that's what people usually come to Hogwarts for; to learn"

"Yeah, well you see that's not really going to work for me. As much as I would love to learn, the whole idea of actually putting effort into it is not exactly appealing," Sirius shuddered at the thought of spending the next seven years just studying. He would almost rather go home. Wait maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. Wrestling with a nesting dragon, yeah that's what he would rather do.

"Is that so?"

Stupid mind reading hat Sirius thought to himself.

"Yes indeed, but it's this mind reading hat that is about to decide where and how you spend the next seven years of your life, so deal with it," the Hat rebuked, "Now with a lack of enthusiasm for academic achievement, but definite spunk... hmmm... really?... Well why not? Yes..."

"Any day now!" Sirius muttered.

"Patience Mr. Black, patience... Well that's one thing you will learn in this house, HUFFL..."

"Aaahh! NO!!" Sirius cried, "Ah crap did everyone hear that?"

"I'm soundproof, but why the melodramatics? Surely Hufflepuff is the perfect choice. No pressure to overachieve, it's not Slytherin, but it's not Gryffindor, so I won't get... Never mind, it's a good choice."

"Huh?" Sirius was confused, but he shook it off, knowing that it happened too often, "I just know I can't be a Hufflepuf, they're just underachieving, do gooders," Sirius shuddered again at the thought of actually having to follow rules.

"Well that only leaves Slytherin..."

"Wait what about Gryffindor?"

"What about it?"

"You could put me in Gryffindor."

"Ha!"

"What?"

"Yeah, I could put you in Gryffindor, and then spend the rest of this age listening to Phineas chastising me for putting one of his own into Gryffindor. Sorry my boy, but it looks like it's going to be Slytherin, whether you like it or not."

"No, I refuse, you can't make me!" Sirius said determinedly.

"You don't have a choice," the Hat replied firmly.

"That nesting dragon is looking more and more appealing," Sirius muttered.

"Look I've been doing this a hell of a lot longer than you, so I think I know a bit better where you should end up, so you are going to go over to that table, and you will freakin' like it!" the Hat snapped.

"Fine! But I won't enjoy it!" Sirius snapped back.

"Well then maybe I should but you in Gryffindor you ungrateful brat!"

"Maybe you should!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine! GRYFFINDOR!"

"Fine!" Sirius cried one final time, and ripped the Hat off his head, and stalked over to the red and gold table. There was a quiet hush around the Great Hall at the shock of what had just happened, a Black sorted into Gryffindor.

Hehehe that was fun, the Hat thought to itself, but it would never hear the end of it from Phineas.