I am soooo sorry for the gap between updates. Motivation has been a pain to gather. Here's a quick refresher of the last chapter...

PREVIOUSLY: Giles pressures Buffy into telling Spike the truth about the baby being handed over to the council shortly after it's birth, but the slayer is convinced that it's best to wait until after Xander and Anya's wedding. Anya's hen party starts off as a calm, quiet night, after a malfunction in the bride's original strip club plans, but soon becomes heated when she starts quizzing Buffy on the paternity of her son. As a result, Willow has to calm her friend down and escort her home. Meanwhile, Buffy is starting to experience especially violent 'kicks' from the baby.

Buffy stared at her horrific reflection in the mirror of her bedroom. Seeing the disgusting radioactive green bridesmaid dress had only been the beginning. Once trying it on, the slayer felt even more humiliated. The gown had been sized appropriately, to accommodate her current condition, but Anya had obviously not taken her maid of honor's feelings into account. The skin-tight outfit made her look like a fucking elephant! As if the slayer wasn't worried enough about people staring at her.

"You okay in there?" Willow called from outside her friend's bedroom.

"Define okay."

The witch took that as her cue to intervene. Buffy stood in a hunched position, arms desperately trying to cover her baby bump, and on the verge of tears. At least the dress looked remotely flattering on Willow.

"Buffy, you look..."

"Disgusting?"

Willow's eyes widened in shock. "No! You look...perfect. Nothing's disgusting about the way you look."

Willow did seem to truly be under the illusion that she looked somewhat 'beautiful' being the size she was. How? Buffy guessed it was more to do with her bringing forth new life than her actual physical appearance, but she was still struggling to see any beauty even from Willow's point of view. She turned one hundred and eighty degrees, so that her profile was now the reflection in the mirror; her hands brushing down the front of her dress. She was more than aware that it would change absolutely nothing, but it didn't stop her from doing it. She didn't realise how close to tears she was until her friend pulled her into a comforting hug.

"Don't worry about it. If you don't want to be noticed, you don't have to be. All eyes will be on the bride anyway."

The slayer smiled gratefully and pulled herself away from the mirror before she ended up working herself into an even worse anxious state.

"You ready to go?"

"As I'll ever be."

Gathering the courage to step out of the car and onto the venue steps was the hardest experience of Buffy's life. Since when had she cared what people thought about her appearance? Truthfully, she'd never been concerned as she'd never had any major insecurities about her physicality. Carrying around a huge, bulky baby bump was definitely a present insecurity now.

Thankfully, the lobby was so crowded with guests chatting away that no one but Dawn noticed her arrival. As expected, her sister was wearing an identical dress that, just like Willow, she pulled off spectacularly considering the colour scheme.

"Hey!" she squeaked, excitedly. "Anya's almost ready, so we just need to get everyone sat down. Oh, and could you go and see Xander? I think he needs a pep talk."

Buffy looked concerned. "What's happened?"

Dawn leant in closer, making sure her following words were for her sister's ears only. "He had some pre-wedding jitters. I talked to him and think he's okay now, but maybe if you reassure him too, y'know."

The slayer hesitated for a moment, not sure she was qualified to be giving anyone else advice after her own recent string of choices, but nodded. Her friend needed her and she promised that she wouldn't let him down today.

Eventually, after much asking around, Buffy was confident she now knew the way to Anya's dressing room. For the millionth time that morning, she lifted her long skirt out from underneath her totally unnecessary stilettos and looked back up again to see Spike leant against a pillar. The words 'where the heck did you come from?' formed on her lips, but then she remembered. Vampire. Sneaky. They stared at each for a few seconds before he broke the silence.

"You look bloody terrified."

She sighed. Finally, someone who got it. "You think?"

He smiled. "But seriously, love, you sure you're up for today? You don't look completely with it."

"I think you're sensing the three hours of sleep I got last night. My nerves were enough to keep me awake without being fought from the inside out every two hours.

A confused expression crept on to Spike's face, but only for a matter of seconds. The vampire knew he shouldn't have really smirked then. It was just too sweet. "He's gonna be a troublesome one."

Buffy looked to the floor. "Uh, huh. For the last day or so, he's been really twitchy. I can't help but think..."

"Think what?"

She bit her lip before shaking her head. No. It was ridiculous. "Doesn't matter. It's nothing. Anyway, I've got to go and see Xander. Apparently he's freaking out a bit." Buffy realised as soon as she closed her mouth that Xander wouldn't have appreciated her telling his arch-nemesis that.

As if to confirm her theory, a smug pout appeared on Spike's face. He was clearly pleased with what he'd learnt. "Well, tell him I said to step up and grow a pair."

"Great, I'm sure that's gonna make him feel so much better," she muttered, sarcastically. "I'll catch you later at the reception and please, don't go causing trouble. This is Anya and Xander's day."

Spike seemed to accept this and agreed, but not without shooting a mischievous half smirk to wind her up.

"I'll catch up with you later at the reception. Can't see that I'm gonna have any time before."

"No problem." He was clearly disappointed that their current conversation was being cut so short, but as long as there was a later, he was satisfied.

Buffy found Xander pacing, his body tense and a deep frown on his face. He was usually so good at keeping calm and not letting the pressure get to him, so it was unnerving to see him looking so scared. He barely noticed her presence until she spoke up.

"Hey. What'cha doing? You've gotta be out there soon."

"Yeah. I know. Just need a few more minutes," he explained, folding his arms as he continued to walk the length of the room repeatedly. The slayer considered her next words carefully. "Dawn told me she came to see you. Is everything okay?"

He gave her a half-nod, half-shake of his head. "Am I doing the right thing, Buffy? Marrying Anya?"

She was taken aback. Dawn hadn't let on it was this bad.

"Don't you love her?"

"Of course I do! More than anything. I just can't help but feel that everything's moving too quickly. Getting married is a big deal. Maybe too big, right now."

Buffy smiled sympathetically, walking up to him and grabbing his hand in both an attempt to reassure him and stop him for pacing.

"I get it. I do. This is a big step and you're scared. But you and Anya love each other, anyone can see that. This is gonna be the perfect day. As soon as you set eyes on her, you'll see. Everything will be fine."

She didn't realise how caught up she'd become in her own pep talk.

"We're still talking about me and Anya, right?"

A sudden knock on the door interrupted them. Buffy was more than thankful.

"I think it's time. Anya's not gonna be happy if you're late."

Xander still didn't look completely settled, but at least a little more confident. He nodded, but only moved when his friend nudged him.

"Go, Xander. I'm right behind you."

Buffy carefully sat down in the front row of the hall after delivering Anya to the altar and her husband-to-be. Selfishly, she thought about how relieved SHE was that Xander had been talked round so easily. Of course she was over the moon for the soon to be newlyweds that they had managed to put aside their nerves, but Buffy wasn't sure if she could've taken anything going wrong today. Ten minutes ago, she was sure that she could physically feel the final nail being hammered into her coffin of anxiety. She wouldn't have been surprised if that was just the baby pushing around, though. She slid a discreet hand under her bump as the uncomfortable sensations threatened to alert attention. Grinning and bearing it, she shifted into a more comfortable position and looked back up at the couple, who were now reciting their vows. The smiles on their faces were of pure bliss and the slayer found herself growing envious of them. It had been over a year since Riley had left and as much as she didn't miss him, she'd found herself missing being in love and all the things that came with it, arguments included.

When it was Xander's turn to recite his vows, his smile became a neutral expression, but his eyes told the whole story of how he was feeling. It reminded a small part of Buffy of how Spike looked at her sometimes. She couldn't help quickly looking over her shoulder for him. He was sat in the very back row, which was unoccupied aside from him. Clearly a little bored, he was flipping a cigarette carton open and shut repeatedly. She was surprised that he'd actually decided sit in for the ceremony. Maybe he'd taken her quip about not ruining the day for Xander and Anya a little too seriously. She turned back to face the front just in time for the hall to erupt in thunderous applause. The officiant was smiling, Willow and Tara were clapping excitedly and the newlyweds were locked in a passionate embrace. As the applause died down, the guests began to get up to congratulate Anya and Xander, causing a swarm at the front of the hall. Buffy squeezed through the crowd to get some air. She'd find her friends later. This was probably the perfect time to find Spike. She'd barely walked five steps when Dawn caught her arm. The girl was positively buzzing with excitement. "Come on, time for last minute reception inspection!"

The slayer couldn't think of an excuse quick enough before she was being pulled across to the other side of the building. Oh well. Being a bridesmaid came first today.

The day was slowly winding down as was the pressure of keeping everything perfect. Xander, Tara and Willow were amongst the few left dancing up on the floor while Anya was still over at the table of wedding gifts, having been there for a good twenty minutes already. She had no idea where Dawn was, and she was doubtful that her unborn son was going to leave her alone long enough to look for her sister.

"You okay?"

Buffy looked up to see that her discomfort had attracted the attention of a nearby guest.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Just don't think this party is for me." She heaved herself up. The last thing the slayer needed was more pity. Finding somewhere a little quieter and less crowded where attention was limited sounded like the ideal plan right now. Wrapping an arm around her middle, she walked off, intending to do just that. She finally thought she'd found a peaceful zone when out of nowhere, someone grasped her wrist and carefully pulled her aside into a small room. Buffy gasped and backed away, once inside, but her fright turned to annoyance when she saw who was trying to attract her attention.

"Jeez, Spike. You still know how to use the word 'hello' right?"

"Yeah, sorry. Wasn't sure you'd be able to hear me above that racket." He looked outside at the ongoing reception.

"So...you thought it would be a good idea to scare the hell out of the mother of your child?"

Spike tried to hide a smile at the phrase and Buffy immediately regretted using it. Stupid, stupid Buffy.

"Guess it wasn't the greatest idea. Sorry."

"Nevermind, I should be sorry for not finding you earlier. I know today wasn't exactly your idea of fun."

"I don't know," he admitted, pulling up a chair for Buffy and taking a seat on the edge of a desk. "Watching the whelp squirm and almost cock up his vows was mildly entertaining."

Buffy couldn't help but smirk.

"Anyway, enough about the love birds. I came here for you and the sprog."

The slayer shrugged. "There's not much to say except 'sleepless nights' right now."

The vampire raised an eyebrow. "You'll love the first year of motherhood then."

"Sure...yeah." She looked to the floor, her stomach tightening, physically as well as metaphorically. God, did this kid ever take a break?

"I was thinking, know it's a bit early still, but have you thought about what you wanna call him?"

She shook her head, fists tightening and teeth gritting. "No pressure or anything. Just might be a good idea, something to look forward to maybe."

There was a short silence.

"Sorry. Can tell I'm being too pushy."

"No, it's not that. I just..."

Spike looked at her with bright, pleading eyes.

"Never mind. It's not important"

Sighing, Spike got to his feet again. He wasn't angry, but was trying desperately not to let his frustration show. Any sort of conflict would only bring back up the walls he had been putting all his effort into pulling down.

"Saying that only makes me more sure that it is."

Despite his intentions, Buffy could feel their conversation escalating into an argument and stood up to leave. "Not today! I'm not doing any of this today. Fight me all you want tomorrow, but right now it's about Xander and Anya, and if you don't like that..." The slayer's train of thought was interrupted by the baby yet again. Except this time, that was no kick. Not even at his worst could he hurt her that much. She leant against a nearby wall until the pain had passed.

"What's goin' on?" Spike asked, taking small steps towards her.

"I...I don't know."

They stood in silence for several more seconds, trying to figure out what was happening and if it would occur again. As if to confirm their fears, it did, and Buffy let out a small yelp.

"You don't think..." she squeaked, looking up at him, fear glistening in her eyes. They both knew what was happening.

"Oh, you've got to be joking..."