Chapter Thirteen

The next day at about five o clock, I was swinging on the porch, my feet up and eyes half closed. My legs were still a little sore but a whole lot better than the previous day. I was too tired to read and I felt mad. Mad at Mark for yesterday's fiasco but mad at myself for letting him win me over like he had. The swing screamed in protest as it creaked loudly back and forth but I kept on rocking.

"You tryna wake the dead?"

My eyes flew open as Joey Granger mounted the porch steps and leaned back lazily against the rail.

"Oh, hi Joey." I sat up and swung my legs down onto the floor. I felt kinda embarrassed about what had happened the previous day and didn't quite know where to look.

"Hey." He smiled at me "I just came by to see how you were doing. Ellen said you hurt your legs or something."

"Yeah." I nodded, shame faced. "Yesterday, you know, when I fell."

He fixed his warm brown eyes on me, his face etched with concern.

"Is he the guy, Ally? Mark Jennings, right?"

I swallowed. Somehow him having a face to put to my secret made me feel a lot more vulnerable. He was the only person that knew something was going on. Sure, Bryon had caught us kissing but I'm sure he thought that didn't mean anything, after all Mark was a free spirit.

"Yeah." Was all I could say.

"This thing between you still going on then?" Joey had his arms folded but his face remained friendly enough.

I nodded. Joey let his arms drop to his sides then he walked over and came to sit beside me.

"I've been thinking for the last twenty four hours that standing in the way of childhood sweethearts isn't the cleverest place to be..." he said quietly, studying his tanned hands.

I didn't know what to say so I stayed quiet.

"...but then I came to the conclusion that I must not be clever." He went on.

I looked over at him and frowned.

"I really like you, Ally," he rushed on, "and if you were with some guy who was making you happy then I could be happy for you, but that guy? Is he gonna pull out your chair at dinner? Hold your hand in front of his friends? Be proud that you're his girl?"

I tried to block out what he was saying because I knew the answer to all of those questions. Mark wasn't going to do any of them. Mark was gonna climb in my window in the dead of night, punch me playfully in the arm like I was his buddy and whisper in my ear how I should be his girl.

"I know you're right," I said quietly, "but.."

I couldn't finish, instead I felt hot tears well up in my throat.

"...but you're not ready to let him go yet," Joey finished for me.

I nodded miserably and he grabbed my hand.

"How about you give me one night, one date, to show you how it could be? No funny business, no strings, just so you can see what it's like mattering to somebody?"

I bristled at his words.

"I do matter to him," I said, half crossly.

"Okay, visibly mattering to someone," Joey said, taking a breath.

We looked at each other for long moments as my mind whirled. His eyes were imploring me to agree, to accept his invitation. I squeezed his hand and sighed a long sigh.

"I'm sorry, Joey, I can't."

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"Hey Two-Bit, you seen Mark?" I was making my way across The Nightly Double and Two Bit was sitting on his car hood, swigging from a bottle of bourbon.

It was Friday night and two days had passed since I'd turned down Joey for a date for the second time.

"Yeah, skinny guy, not too tall, weird ass yella eyes..." Two-Bit answered faultlessly. I gave him a shove as I passed him by and he laughed.

"Well, while we're locating people, you seen your doll of a friend, Barbs?" He called after me.

Without turning around I called back

"Yeah, tall, blond, pretty..."

"Yeah, she is that!" Two-Bit sighed.

The place was busy like it always was on a Friday and I recognised a lot of people from school. I had come with Darcy and Ellen but some guys had climbed into Darcy's car to talk so I had taken that as my cue to leave. Ellen didn't mention Joey to me so I assumed she was in the dark about the whole thing. Either way, I was I didn't have to ask any questions.

"Terry!" I suddenly saw Terry Jones with a trademark beer in his hand, talking to a few guys beside his car.

"Hey, Ally." Terry gave me a wide smile.

"You seen Mark?"

"He was here a minute ago." Terry darted a look about then focused someway to his right. "Yeah, there he is, sitting on the Camero."

I followed his eyes and through the crowd, I could just see Mark's golden hair. He was obscured by some middleclass girls that I thought were on the cheerleading squad so I wove my way round them so I could see him properly. Unfortunately, he was still obscured from my view.

Mark was sitting on the hood of a car with his legs dangling over the side, a beer in his hand. In front of him stood a redhead girl in a tiny skirt and heels, her arms wrapped round his neck. He wasn't holding her as such but he was laughing at something she'd said, flashing that perfect smile.

I felt hot and cold all over, then I felt sick. For a second I contemplated storming over there but the urge was gone as quickly as it came. I just stood there, shell shocked as I started to wonder how many other girls he had on the go. How many he bedded when I wasn't around. Sure, I'd got used to him dating but that had been before we'd had sex, before he'd got jealous over Joey, before he'd made me think we actually had something.

It was right about then that Mark caught my eye. His smile faded and he quickly disentangled the girls arms from about his neck. Then he set down his beer. I took a step backwards before running as fast as my legs could take me.

I raced back past Terry, further past Two Bit, beyond Darcy's car without looking in at any of them. I ran out of the drive in exit and darted across the street before pounding the pavement towards our neighbourhood. I couldn't stop the tears or the dull pain in my chest as I realised what was so glaringly obvious to Joey but not me. Mark was using me. He didn't want me to share me, sure, but he didn't love me. I wasn't his one and only.

"Ally!" I heard a voice yell behind me. Not caring who it was, I began to run harder. I wanted to get home and crawl under my duvet and forget the world existed.

"Ally!" the voice yelled again.

I was pretty sure it was Mark this time but this made me all the more determined not to stop. I raced across a residential road and was just about to round a corner when I was rugby tackled and sent flying onto a front lawn.

"For Christ's sake!" Mark swore. He was out of breath and panting.

"Get the hell off of me!" I yelled, shoving him away as though he were an attacker. "Just leave me the hell alone!"

I scrambled up and he did too, grabbing my hand as I tried to take off again.

"That wasn't what it looked like," he said, trying to even his breathing.

"Oh, gee, real original!" I snapped, wrenching my hand free.

"She's a customer, Ally. I was selling her a stereo."

"Funny that, I didn't see no stereo, all I saw was her on your lap!" Angry tears were stinging my eyes but worst of all was the sickening lurch of my stomach.

"Jesus, I just fitted it for her. That was her car, come back and I'll show you. She wanted to make sure it worked."

"She had her fricking arms around you!" I screamed hysterically. "You don't do that to a guy you ain't into!"
I tried to push him away but he caught my arms. He didn't look mad at me, just impatient.

"That don't mean I'm into her, okay?"

"Well, you can do what you want, Mark," I spat, wrenching my arm free from him. "You always said you weren't my boyfriend so why should I care? I turned down a date with a perfectly nice guy this week 'cause of you and then I catch you practically groping some chick right in front of me!"

"Groping?" He grinned at me which made me all the angrier. Why was everything such a big joke to him?

"From now on, we're done!" I yelled with all the strength I could muster. "No more late night house calls, no more hanging on your every stupid word. We're both free agents, have a nice life!"

With that, I turned round and strode off. I had to make a phone call.

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