A/N: I DUNNO.

I was at Six Flags(don't own) for Fall Rally(don't own) on Saturday(about two weeks ago), all day. WAHOO, DISTRICT 28 IN DA HOUSE. That's the reason I haven't updated. Ever since I got back I've been in a funk. Ugh. I r sick.

...HEY KEY CLUB, HOW DO YOU FEEL?

I got my lip pierced, too. Sooooooooo.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Final Fantasy VII, Yahoo, All your Base, Vexen, or Square Enix, or anything else that is copyrighted. PLZ DUN SUE ME.

WARNING: Probably more DoC spoilers. I don't like Weiss, he looks like a lion-stingray hybrid... This is true.

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Ongaku Niji

Double :: You

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Today I broke my record of consecutive days I've been alive.

There's somebody riding the giant chocobo. It's hair appears to be engulfing its head... which probably means it's Weiss... Or Veiss, as it's pronounced. Damn Germans and their limited knowledge of the wonderful letter that is double-you.

I can't quite recall the existence of chocobos in DoC. A giant chocobo fighting Chaos would have been kick ass. He'd probably complain the entire time... or quit.

'It's gonna crush joo.'

Quickly maneuver away from giant chicken. I'm tempted to summon the soul of Colonel Sanders. He'd probably re-die of joy.

Sephiroth takes to the sky, slicing away with Masamune. Weiss jumps off the chocobo, armed and ready to battle. Despite his better graphics, Weiss lost to Vincent Valentine, and is going to be no match for the One Winged Angel-Chibi hybrid. Sephiroth is the cooler villain. I almost feel bad for him.

Almost. That bastard was not worth eight hours of horrible game play.

Damn you, Square.

The chocobo lunges forward, obviously intending to step on my house. Now, that just won't fly with the chibis. It's their base of operation. Cloud and Zack burst from the roof... Looks like I'm going to have to call a repair man in the morning. Does my insurance cover chibi damanges?

Probably.

Choco tips over, warking loudly as he began to fall into a playground that used to be a road. Construction works fast here, doesn't it? Weiss jumps off and attacks Sephiroth, who attacks right back. It's going to be a long night.

Swing swing! CLANG! Swing clang swing! Various other combinations.

I want to go to sleep.

The chocobo is down and out, I can hear bickering from the playground. Zack wants to cook it, Cloud thinks it'll make him a cannibal. I may have misunderheard him, but it would totally be cannibalism.

'Lyke, 2taly.'

How can someone leet speak in real life?

Can I really hear this voice in my head?

...My brain hurts.

Why are Weiss and Sephy-kins fighting? For what purpose do they swing those swords around? Sephy-kins twitches slightly, stopping mid-air, and does the one thing he knew best.

"MWE-"

Weiss slams him into the ground, probably breaking a few chibi bones in the process.

Okay, that's it.

In one smooth motion I grab the little dictator by his hair and begin shaking him violently. It worked on the Silver Trio...

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you have any idea how much more of a bad ass he is?! Snarl! Rant! SNARL!" There's very high doubt that I'll ever become a father. My hair is shadowing my face, my right eye is twitching, and I think I'm shaking him too hard. Could I be sued for chibi abuse? I make the mistake of looking down.

Weiss blinks up at me, giant chibi tears threatening to fall.

'You have really bad luck.'

I let my guard down for a split second, and that's when he strikes. All I see is the world flashing by me as I hit the ground with a dull thud. Again. I move just in time to avoid another attack. A giant MWETEOW flies above my head... almost lighting me on fire.

Jesus Christ on a bicycle!

Sephiroth returns triumphantly from... somewhere, ready to finish this.

Was he getting cookies?

Thus begins the battle of the century.

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One month later... Actually, twenty-two days, but who's really counting?

The last month was relatively boring. Sephiroth and Weiss have been fighting since Halloween night, and have formed a mini-war in the city of-

Crash! Boom!

Another car, gone. I really hope it was Sophia's. Nobody should have given that woman a license. Sophia has pretty much moved in, occasionally leaving the house for work, though I don't know where to. Personally, I think she's a secret agent working for Rufus to keep tabs on Avalanche.

Cloud's sitting on the table, a mini war helmet impaled on his blond spikes. Zack and Tifa forced him to help Sephiroth. They, along with Yuffie, Nanaki, and the Silver Trio are attempting to end this war quickly. They haven't helped much at all. In fact, I'm sure it would be over sooner if Yuffie hadn't sent Shelke up the bomb.

On Weiss' side? Well, Shelke, Nero(how he got out is beyond me), the newly resurrected Rosso DA CRIMSON and Azul. Along with quite a few Deepground soldiers. Would they leave if I turned the sprinklers on?

My living room was turned into a ship brig... or bridge. Sephiroth is sitting in a captain chair, twirling around. Zack and Cloud are at the button area, pretending to do something important. Yuffie is riding Nanaki, prowling for... things. They're all wearing American military gear. Are we even in America?

'Maybe.'

Like you would know.

Crash!

"What happen?" Sephiroth lost his cute voice. I feel a parody coming on.

"Somebody set us up the bomb." Zack replied. A monitor dropped from the ceiling.

"We get signal." Cloud stated, poking some more buttons.

"What!" I'm actually tempted to run outside screaming, but that would get me shot.

"Main screen turn on." Weiss' face appeared on screen. Just what I needed.

"It's You!!" Tempted to drink all the pain away.

"How are you gentlemen!!" Here it comes.

"All your base are belong to us."

"Snap!" That be the sound of me losing my mind.

Scream, loudly, and throw everything in every direction imaginable. This will end. I will end this chapter here.

Not really, but ok. I think it's about time to OD on some Nyquil.

This concludes today's notes.

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When I wake up I am faintly surprised that my room is back to normal. Perhaps they're trying to fool me into a false sense of security. That's when they strike. Sophia's hysterical laugh is not filtering through the halls.

Cautiously, I walk through the hall into the living room, tennis racket raised.

Nothing.

Check the rest of the house, look in places where chibis should be hiding. They're not here. There's no trace of the chibis or Sophia. Hell, I can hear Roommate's typing from his room. There's no sounds, my kitty is sitting on the computer chair, dog is on his couch.

The voice in my head has made no comments. There is no blood, no gauze, no vampire bling.

"Sephy-kins?" I called through the house, Roommates typing stops for a split second, before continuing.

Pinch self to make sure I'm not dreaming.

This can't be...

Are they gone?

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Ongaku Niji

Fourteen :: End

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A/N: OHEMGEE! Cliffhanger! Who knew?

Hey, Apocolyptical, have you read Yargy the Pirate Queen's fanfiction, Child's Play? You'll die laughing, I swear, because Sephiroth actually does hold up a WalMart, or something to that effect. Now, I could have done this in PMs, but I srsly love that story.

-sniff-

Thanks to all my reviewers! Apocolyptical, unknown fan(doesn'tlovemeenoughtosignin), Tunderstorm101, KumikoAnoriko, Nanasawa-san140, Yargy the Pirate Queen, DragonessWarrior, Skavnema, LittleBrick, Moonshine's Guide, Raos(WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE GUILD, RAOS?!?!!), 1wngdngl, Devil follower, nanashi, Yami-Echo, Shibuya on and Angle, and my favorite reviewer of all time, Rios Masquerade! Chibi!Cloud in fairy outfit for all!

Next Chapter: Return to normalcy? View Emmie's life as it was originally!

Review or bloody rock will be what they describe as the 'weapon'. -wink-