It's The Same Old World
A/N: Sorry for taking long to update- sixth form life is rather hectic. Enough excuses, the reasonably anticipated chapter where our lucky gal gets to take the boys clothes shopping is coming right up, whoop! Thanks for favouriting, following and reviewing!
To ChloeCGarcia: Thank you! Woah, better tell that forum person to steer clear from you *hands you over to Ezio*
To NuhaH: I most certainly agree with you! You'll find out soon…
To GenesisInTwenty: Ehehehe, nothing like a bit of good ol' fashioned in-your-face foreshadowing ;)
To theHuntress101: Oh my, hadn't thought of it in that light before, hah! But don't worry no one is going to die *masked man comes through window and slits my throat*
To shadowrunner22: Glad to make you 'LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZ'
To Illusa: Hmm, I decided going against the really bad car reactions because I'd thought it would've been slightly over the top. Hopefully this chappie will be better received?
To ThrillSeeker5: Yes, these days Suba is getting herself into a few problemas. Good to hear Haytham's scolding and Connor's actions were as you put it 'loved'!
To Robin1996ify: Correct, 10 points to Gryffindor!
To Anyahe: Course I watched the films and some episodes of the Transformers! Ah well, yes VWs are just brilliant- Phillipp was one of my friend's German exchange pals and he was just so awesome so I kinda took his name. Interesting idea…
To Lachy The Nerd: Oh there's no need for that, dear! Ah well quality over quantity, eh, at least I hope this makes up for some quantity! Yes, you've certainly got some brilliant ideas that could produce humorous results…
To Shadow Katakura: Yay internet friendship level up! xD Good to hear I've kept Connor in character!
To Meyer331: What an absolutely hilarious idea! I'll add that to my list of stuff Suba will do with the guys but you may not see that till much later. You see I am actually trying to build a sort of plot; it's not really random one-shots (which probably may have been an easier idea now that I think about it)!
To ASDHJKL (Guest): YES! I KNOW RIGHT!
Oh wow, I feel so honoured that you 'guy' cosplayers have decided to have a group reading of my fic! This is actually the biggest review I've ever got omg! Thank you for your kind words LittleMissMolly, GLaDOs, JuNTO. Azuma-zuma, I am 'well jel' (as they say in England)of your singing nyan cat plushie! Man, Hack Generation you are an awesome friend to these guys! I'm sorry to hear about what happened but on the brighter note, I'm so thrilled to have made you feel better with my fic- it is far from 'godly' but thanks for that holy note! You have some hysterical ideas read on to find out which ones I decide to use! Suba playing Slenderman …hmmm what about Haytham or Connor playing it? OMFG STEPHANO IS FABULOUS! I saw him and he is a beauty, treasure him always! AND you draw so amazingly! Loved your little story script of what went down!
To Guest: Aww I LOVE YOU TOO! Thank you for such high praises and I'm pleased to have made you laugh! Snicker doodles? What are they? I'm pretty sure we don't have that in England…But I'll take it anyway!
To LilyMellarkSalvatore: That's one brilliant name! Your appreciation is much welcomed, thank you for letting me know how much you love the story! I try my hardest to update!
To xSaerin: The suspense is now over now, dear reader*joins in with your Haytham/Connor feels*
Chaper 13: In Which We Hunt For Clothes Part I
Hurriedly, I slip some coins into the machine and take the ticket back to Phillipp, where surprisingly father and son are quietly examining the front panel of the car and wondering out aloud what each dial and knob might do. Another heart-warming moment like this between them surely will break my feels!
"Wow I'm impressed!" I interrupt, placing the ticket visibly onto the dashboard. "I think this must be the first time you two have actually listened to me!"
"I beg to differ." Haytham indignantly objects. "May I remind you that we are observing your decree by not carrying any weapons upon ourselves."
"Geez, I was only joking, Haytham." I answer stoutly and push forward my seat to let Connor out. "Can't you take a joke?"
Sighing, he answers ruefully, "My apologies, Suba. It appears that my sense of humour has been severely influenced by the young lad."
In response to this, Connor merely keeps his mouth shut tightly in a straight line and has a stoic face while we chuckle lightly. Once everyone's ready to go, I lock Phillip and tell the men to stay close and follow me. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm the leader of some secret mission, being escorted by 'my men' to some important location, as the trained Assassin and Templar strut on either side of me.
Marching through the crowds, we receive incredulous looks from the public at the strange choice of clothing the men are wearing and I can't help but play Ludacris in my head, Move bitch, get out the way/ Get out the way bitch, get out the way! Casting a sideward glance to each man, I notice similar expressions of astonishment as each one cranes their head here and there, eyes darting about the streets, trying to absorb this entire new environment. Beside me, I hear Connor mumble something about there being too many people, whilst Haytham animatedly enquires about each shop we pass.
Finally we reach our destination and I stop. There looming tall in front of us is the three-floored Primark. Now don't judge! Primark is quite possibly the cheapest clothing store in England, but I've only got money saved up from summer jobs on my card, including my current one which is working part-time at the local independent bookstore.
"Primark…?" Connor tests the word on his tongue. "This is where we will purchase our clothes?"
"Well obviously." Haytham states deprecatingly.
"Oh, Haytham, don't be so mean to your son!" I rebuke the older man. "Well c'mon, let's go shopping then!"
Skipping through the open doors, I direct the gang to the escalator leading up to the men's floor and spot their looks of perplexity. A thread of questions reels out:
"Why are the metallic steps moving?"
"What is this repositioning stairway?"
"How are they moving?"
"You expect us to mount these shifting stairs?"
"How do you overcome this re-arranging obstacle?"
"Ssssshhhhhh! Let's all stop with the questions and calm down." I instruct, motioning my arms downwards. "Look, I'm only going to show you get up the escalator, yes, that's was the 'shifting stairs' are called. Now, watch me carefully."
With exaggeration, I slowly place my foot on the oncoming step and set the other foot on the same step once it has elevated. I turn around and beckon my hands.
"Connor, your turn."
Concentration masks the half-native's face, as he calculates which step to take and almost leaps onto it. Luckily, he makes it safely and I move down to him and reminding him to hold onto the hand rail.
"You better hurry, Haytham!"
A flash of panic crosses the Georgian's eyes as he realises how far up we've gone without him and hurriedly puts a flip-flopped foot onto a moving step. But what's this? Haytham's other leg, is still rooted onto the floor. Oh shit! Before I think the Templar has done the splits, he swiftly puts his other leg on another step, a few levels below his first foot and avoids any severe embarrassment, although his cheeks tinge pink with mortification.
"Suba, we are reaching the end of the stairs!" Warns Connor and I think I detect a hint of fear in his voice.
"Ok, we're going to get off in, 3-2-1."
Expecting him to step off, I'm caught off guard when Connor abruptly dives off and rolls onto the second floor and flips up to his feet. Like many others who witness this, my jaw drops, I had just had my first ever real-life assassin parkour demonstration in front of my very eyes.
Flippin' heck that was so hot!
"Suba, Suba, Suba."
It is Haytham's repeatedly calling voice that shakes me out of my slight shock from Connor's display. Facing the escalator, Haytham's head peeps over the ledge and I reach out my hand to help him get off which he gladly takes and makes it across in one piece.
Oh my god, Suba, Haytham freaking Kenway is holding my hand! Fuck, it's not sweating is it?! Oh whatever, Haytham's actually touching me…his hands are so large compared to mine…is this what Ziio thought? What the hell, of course Ziio wasn't thinking about that, she was totally focusing on making out with him. Ahem, actually Suba, what about the measurement of a certain part of the male anatomy which you can derive from the hand size? Wha-ohhhh, well that means big hands equal big…er packages.
"Suba, you can let go of my hand now."
I feel myself blush and quickly release my grip, not meeting Haytham's eyes and feel Connor's awkwardness. "Sorry. I just got lost in my thoughts…"
"Ah no matter, then. Shall we proceed on?" replies Haytham unperturbedly.
"Uh yeah sure…" I peek at Haytham and noticing he's not at all fazed, breathe a small sigh of relief and lift my head a bit higher. "So what kind of 21st century clothes do you want to get?"
Roving his eye across the store, Haytham sights the suits section and nods in that direction. "Those garments look very sophisticated compared to all these other shabby things that hardly ought to be deemed as wearable."
Oh Grandmaster styles tip 101. Although to be completely honest, Haytham would rock any suit!
"What about you, Connor?"
Shrugging, the less fussy one says, "I just need comfortable clothes that will spare your purse. I disregard fashion, unlike my father."
"My dear boy, it is your outward appearance that people perceive you by!" The Templar lectures on vivaciously. "It creates a lasting first impression that influences how people identify with you. Create a good impression and you will find people to be more inclined towards you."
Connor stares back blankly, not having been affected by his father's words in any way. "I do not care for the thoughts of strangers."
"Well you have clearly have not been integrated into our society." huffs Haytham touchily.
"It depends on what society you confer about, father." The Assassin adds daringly.
Before Haytham can scold his sassy son, I divert the argument and change their attention to clothes; I command Connor to wander around the floor, grab the clothes he likes and bring them to us in the suit's section. After sending the younger man off, Haytham and I browse through the suits. He's very particular about the designs and colours, dismissing the majority of the outfits I pick out for him. After about fifteen minutes, Connor with his arms full of clothes, finds us and declares he's finished.
"Haytham, I'm going to take Connor to try on his clothes. Just keep on looking but if you're done come to the changing room." Pointing to the corner of the store, I lead the Connor away.
Feeling a bit awkward standing outside the men's changing room, I pray that Connor is a speedy changer. And lo and behold, he's as fast a Ferrari. Drawing back the curtain, all I see is a modern AU Connor in dark blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt under a checked blue button up shirt whose sleeves are pushed to his elbows. Mercifully, he seems to have chosen the correct sizes, clever boy!
Dayumm son! Ok, he's done the extremely attractive thing of rolling his sleeves up, the lord help me with my ovaries!
"Will this suffice?" he asks, watching me carefully, misreading my stare for dismay.
"Yes definitely!" I clap excitedly, resisting the urge to run up to him and venerate his clothing choice. At that moment, Haytham turns up and raises a brow at his son's getup.
"Well, you certainly look like a man of this modern century." is all he says and goes off to an empty changing room.
I wave my hand at that comment and reassure Connor, "Oh, forget him. Anyway, do you have another outfit, perhaps one for when it's warmer?"
Nodding, he disappears back into his stall and reappears in a few minutes having only changed his jeans into some tan-coloured cargo shorts and taken off his button up shirt. Yes, my gorgeous Assassin, show off those solid arms and legs.
"You don't want to get another shirt?"
"No, this will serve well." Connor responds indifferently.
"Oh but you need another top to go with that!" I whine. "Look, don't worry about the finances, I've got that all sorted. Let me help you find another t-shirt, please?"
Oh pretty please with sugar and sprinkles on top!
For a moment I think Connor will outright disagree as he folds his arms but to my great pleasure, he sighs heavily and murmurs, "If you must insist."
Elatedly, I tell him to wait here whilst I go hunting for clothes. I recall seeing a lovely top somewhere by the escalator and rush there. Aha! That Carolina blue V-neck t-shirt, just like the one Tom Hiddleston wore on his fight training for Coriolanus. Noooo, I wasn't stalking Tom Hiddleston, merely researching how he was doing!
Not wanting to get the wrong fitting, I grab two different sizes of the same shirt. Whilst hurrying back, I notice a dark grey hoodie that might suit Connor for when the weather turns chilly, because as everyone knows, British weather is unpredictable. Quickly, feeling it, the material is thin and perfect for summer, not too hot and not to cold. Seizing another two different sizes, I scuttle back to the changing rooms where Haytham now parades in a well-fitted navy blue suit with a pristine white shirt, unbuttoned at the neck revealing a delicious bit of collarbone.
Oh hot, smoking flame-grilled steak! I could eat that man up right here, right now! Take me out of the oven because I am SO DONE!
Approaching closer, I hear Connor rebuke his father, "Have you no consideration for how much Suba may be disbursing for you? You should be ashamed, father, that you are manipulating such a welcoming host!"
"I'm not 'manipulating' her, boy!" utters Haytham checking the cuffs of the blazer.
"Do not think I do not notice the looks she gives you." hisses Connor. "She is clearly infatuated."
Now, brushing down some imaginary dust off his trousers he retorts, "That is hardly true. If you're so observant, do you see those gazes she gives you?"
Shit! Shit! Shit! They know. ABORT, ABORT, ABORT! TIME TO ABORT THIS CONVERSATION!
"Connor, I didn't know what size you are, so I brought two of each!" I call out loudly. "Oh, Haytham, you're done. You look dashing!"
The Grandmaster smiles and thanks me before looking at Connor's 'I'm judging you' face and back to mine. "Yes, it is a rather elegant suit, but I fear that the trouser hemming is not quite what I was looking for. I think I shall consider another outfit."
Oh darling, you listened to your son's advice. I'm so proud of you!
"Are you sure Haytham? We can still get it if you can't find anything else." I probe, trying to hide my gratefulness.
Haytham nods assuredly and glances at Connor who wears a satisfied expression, neither glaring nor smiling. Feeling a bit guilty I add, "Look Haytham, I think the blazer looks awesome on you, so we can keep that but how about some different trousers!"
"I beg your pardon." states Haytham uncomprehendingly. "One cannot simply wear mismatching clothes, that's just absurd."
I roll my eyes. "Just trust me on this one, Haytham! I swear you won't be disappointed!"