Their first time making love as a couple who had declared that they did indeed love one another had been an experience for the books. Shortly after Aria had been cured of her hangover, she decided that she wanted to show Ezra how grateful she was that he had taken care of her while she was down for the count. She also wanted him to see that she was serious about being in love with him. When Ezra started that the movie the two had planned to watch one night, Aria started trying to seduce him. At first it had been just subtle caresses of his thigh, with each stroke of her hand inching closer and closer to his manhood. However, after Ezra let out a soft moan when her nails scraped the fabric covering his arousal, Aria lost all self-control and began attacking him with her lips.

The couple started out on the couch. Clothes were stripped, names were moaned, body parts were squeezed and sucked. At one point, Aria found herself on her knees, fucking the man she loved with her mouth and coming to the conclusion that maybe blowjobs weren't so horrible to give after all. Once she got him off, Ezra picked her up and carried her to the kitchen counter, where he proceeded to reciprocate the pleasure with his tongue.

They finished in his bed. Trying out new positions. Screaming out words of satisfaction. Making the headboard slam into the wall with each thrust. As Aria came, Ezra's name fell from her lips and echoed off the walls, causing Ezra's next door neighbor to bang on the wall and scream at them to shut the hell up. While it embarrassed Aria, it only fueled Ezra's fire. He pounded harder and harder into her, being very vocal as he did so. When he climaxed, he yelled Aria's name louder than she had ever heard him yell before. Her face heated up, but she had never felt more in love.

Since that night, things between them had only gotten better. They had reached a new level of intimacy, and with that came a new level of trust and respect. Their conversations became deeper, moving past the "tell me about yourself" stage and moving into the "what do you think about everything in the universe" stage. They'd had long talks about their opinions on the afterlife, which differed greatly, but ironically made for great conversation. They discussed art, literature, and history. Aria shared her favorite book series with Ezra. He watched her light up as she talked about the characters and plots, smiling all the while. In turn, Ezra played his favorite music for her, which all happened to be confined to records and not on CD's or iTunes. Well…all except for one song. Happiness by the Fray. Aria had heard it before and now catches herself humming it while she cooks them breakfast or drives to work. Ezra's catches her too.

However, with all of the new revelations and amazing sex, hiding their love for one another was becoming increasingly difficult, especially at the office. The two had learned, thanks to Claire, that couples tend to lean towards one another and gravitate to each other in crowds. This knowledge forced them to become hyperaware of their stances whenever they were in the same room for more than a few minutes. Their interactions in public became few and far between, raising the eyebrows of a few specific coworkers, one of them being Liam, though no one had said directly anything.

As if Liam were testing Ezra, he seemed to make it a point to say rude and degrading things about Aria in her absence, but in Ezra's presence. He'd say things about how much of a slut she was and how she was a cold hearted bitch who had no regards for anyone's feelings but her own, then watch for a reaction from Ezra out of the corner of his eye. It took everything in Ezra not to throttle Liam right then and there, and to instead keep his eyes glued to his phone or some paper and bite his tongue, just as he would have done three months ago.

Because Aria was unaware of Liam's antics, she found that the hardest part about being in love with her boss was the fact that she couldn't comfort him if he was having a rough day until they were off the clock and behind the safety of his apartment door. Sure she could send a couple of concerned texts, but nothing would beat holding his hand and whispering words of encouragement into his ear. And unfortunately for her, this whole week had been one of those "rough days."

Aria noticed that he had been shutting himself in his office more lately, only really coming out to get coffee or hold the weekly meeting. She had gone over to his apartment on Monday evening, expecting to stay the night, but wound up leaving around ten because he was just too distant to pay much attention to what was going on around him. For the rest of the week, Ezra stayed too late at his office to leave any time for the two of them to hang out after hours. Aria wasn't upset with his behavior, but it did hurt her. It hurt her because she knew that no matter what she did, she couldn't make the pain go away.

Today had been the worst. It was April 1st. The day before the anniversary of Katelyn's death. He'd shown up late. Declined her calls. Answered her texts in short, one word replies. He looked tired and gray. Aria could only imagine what he'd be like tomorrow.

She was in the middle of shooting Ezra a sappy "I'm here for you" text in the break room when she felt a presence next to her. Lo and behold, it was the man she was desperately trying to reach.

Aria kept her body facing out towards the door, while Ezra turned his back to it to make himself a cup of coffee. "Hey, I was just thinking about you," Aria whispered.

"I was thinking about you too," Ezra plucked a Styrofoam cup from the counter and picked up the pot full of hot black liquid. "That's why I came in here. Will you come over tonight?"

His question shocked her, but made her happy nonetheless. "Of course," She barely moved her lips when she spoke.

"Thank you. I just don't want to be alone tonight," Ezra brought the cup to his mouth and took a long sip. "I need you there."

"What time?" Aria picked at a loose thread on her dress to seem occupied to any passerby.

"Seven," Ezra said.

"See you then," Aria nodded. She waited for Ezra to respond with a confirmation, but instead he just turned on his heels and scurried back into his office, shutting the door forcefully behind him.

Line Break

It was silent in his apartment. Nothing except the sound of their breathing and the hum of the air conditioner filled the room. They'd exchanged a few words when Aria first arrived, although it had been nothing more than a "thanks for coming by" and a "how are you holding up?" followed by a grunt of dismissal.

They were on his couch, cuddling, but not in the conventional way like they always did. No, this time around it was Ezra who was leaning against Aria's side, knees up to his chest and head snuggled beneath her chin. Every once in awhile, she'd hear him sniff like he was crying or holding back tears. His pain made her physically ache. Maybe he was living proof that time doesn't heal all wounds. It had been three years and it still got to him as if it were yesterday.

She knew that part of it was guilt. He would forever hate himself for being the reason she left that night. And while Katelyn no longer being in Ezra's life is what allowed her and Ezra to be together, Aria wished that they had separated on different circumstances. Divorce would've been hell, but at least she'd still be alive.

Aria felt a single tear roll down her cheek. When she went to wipe it away, removing her arm from Ezra's side, Ezra abused the lack of restraint and got up from the couch. She watched him walk over to the pictures lined up on his windowsill and pluck the note tucked into the frame that held the picture of him and Katelyn; the one Aria wasn't supposed to have read yet. He unfolded it before turning back towards her and returning to the couch.

"This is the last thing she left me," Ezra said in a hoarse voice, handing the note to Aria.

Aria took the paper tentatively and reread the words that had haunted her since their first unofficial official first date. She could feel his eyes on her as she read each word and heard him clear his throat a few times the way every man does when he doesn't want to cry. Once she finished reading, she handed the note back to Ezra and sighed. "Ezra, I can't even imagine. I am so so sorry that you lost her."

He nodded, then smiled slightly and let out a breathy laugh, "I try to look at the bright side. If I hadn't lost her, I would've never gotten the chance to know you. But this time of year, it all hits me, you know? I go for 51 weeks out of the year acknowledging that I miss her but also acknowledging that everything happens for a reason. But then on that 52nd week, I get reminded out how it's my fault she's gone and of all the things I would give to get her back. It isn't necessarily that I want to be married to her again. The marriage was doomed. Neither of us had been with anyone else. We got married because we were comfortable. But if I could just hear her voice one more time..."

Aria closed her eyes and grabbed Ezra's hand, "I know. I know."

"Did you feel that way when Alison died?" Ezra asked meekly, unable to look at her.

"For a little while," Aria shook her head slowly. "It felt weird not hearing her voice carry through the hallways at school. Sometimes I swore I heard it months after she was gone. Her death left a hole in my life for a while, but I think it was easier to get over because even though I loved Alison as a friend, I wasn't in love with her. You were in love with Katelyn."

"Not at the end, I wasn't," Ezra sniffed. "Can I tell you what happened on this night three years ago?"

"Sure," Aria brought her hand to his face and stroked his cheek.

Flashback:

"What do you think about the name Braxton?" Ezra had been researching baby names for weeks in an attempt to keep the hope alive. They'd been trying for a baby for over 6 months. It was getting taxing and though Ezra would never admit it, it was making sex feel like a chore that would only end in disappointment. "Of course, it's a boy's name, so if the baby were a girl, we couldn't use it. But, I've always liked the name Sophie. Yeah, Sophie Fitz. That sounds good." Katelyn was currently on some kind of pill that was supposed to help with ovulation. It was a last resort before they needed to talk about other options, such as adoption or having a surrogate mom. "My mother always wanted me to use her name as a baby name, but Diane sounds so old. Maybe we could use it as a middle name? Sophie Diane Fitz. I like that…"

"Ezra, stop," Katelyn growled. She was glaring at him from across the room, baring her teeth like a dog. She had been hormonal lately due to all of the treatments, so Ezra brushed it off as nothing.

"Why? No matter how we get a baby we're going to have to name it. It's good to start thinking of options," Ezra shrugged.

"I don't want to think about anything that has to do with babies until I have one inside of me and it stays there for longer than a few weeks. It's too painful," Katelyn hissed.

Ezra rolled his eyes, "You think this isn't hard on me, too? All I've ever wanted was to be a father and it sucks that it's so hard to achieve that goal."

"And you think that I haven't always wanted to be a mother? Jesus, Ezra, you're so selfish. It's always about what you want and what you feel," Katelyn yelled.

"Always about what I want? Yeah, okay," Ezra snapped.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She raised an eyebrow, daring him to clarify.

"It means that I don't want to live in Boston. I want to live near my family in New York. It means that I don't want to teach English at Boston University. I want to write books and edit. It means that I don't want to be forced to have guys' night anywhere other than our home. I want my friends to be able to come over here and for you not to be a snot nosed bitch about it. But no. I live in Boston because you want to be close to your family and who am I to tell you no? I teach at Boston University because it makes more money than writing or editing, and God forbid you have a husband that makes a little less than you do. I go out to meet my friends because I know that you don't want them here because you don't like half of them, and the ones that you do like, you think would make too much of a mess in your perfect little town home," Ezra shouted.

"You think I don't sacrifice for you? We live closer to your work than to mine because someone didn't want to make the commute through the city. I turn the other cheek when I see you with that little whore you call your "friend" because I know that if I brought it up, you'd jump to her defense instead of reassuring me that I have nothing to worry about. I wanted to live big. I wanted to be rich. But I supported your decision to major in one of the most useless majors in the history of majors because I knew it made you happy," Katelyn retorted.

"Do you hear yourself? You just made my case over. You're the selfish one here. You know, I thought you'd mature after high school but I guess not. Maybe it's best that you don't get to be a mother. You couldn't handle putting someone's needs before your own," As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. It wasn't that they weren't true. It was that he hadn't meant to say them out loud.

"Yeah, well," Katelyn narrowed her eyes, a cue to Ezra that she was about to cry, but wanted to still appear tough. "Maybe you're right. What a shitty life our kid would have. A selfish mother and a no good, alcoholic father who can barely make ends meet."

"I'm not an alcoholic," Ezra balled up his fists.

"Open your fucking eyes, Ezra," Katelyn laughed harshly. "How much have you had to drink today? Six beers? It's only 2 pm. You need help. You're probably drunk right now. That's why you said those things."

"Or I said them because they were true," Ezra snarled.

"I want you to leave. I don't want to be around you anymore. And if you don't leave, I will," Katelyn stated her ultimatum.

"Then you better get packing, sweetheart. This house is in my name," Ezra smirked as if he'd just won rather than lost.

"Go to Hell," Katelyn moved past him, heading towards to staircase.

"After you."

"Wow," Aria blinked. "That was…intense."

"That's how the last few months of our marriage was," Ezra sighed and cast his gaze down to the floor. "I know that story made her sound like a monster, but she really wasn't. The fighting made both of us turn into people we weren't. I think we were scared. It was like we knew that baby or no baby, divorce was inevitable. And like I said, neither of us had been with anyone else."

"You once told me that when you first started dating after Katelyn died, you compared every girl you went out with to her. Why'd you do that if things had ended to horribly?" Aria asked, hoping the question wasn't too triggering.

"Because she was all I knew," He shrugged. "I didn't know how to accept differences in personalities as good things."

Aria nodded, but didn't speak for a moment. She was trying to let all of the information sink in. "So what happened after the fight? Obviously she didn't leave until the next day?"

"I left," Ezra said flatly. "She went into our bedroom and locked the door, and I was so mad that I couldn't be in the same house as her. Eventually, I gave up hope that she would actually leave so I went and crashed at a buddy's house. I came home the next evening and... found this," He motioned to the note. "A few hours later I got that call that she had been killed in a car crash." He paused. "I lied to her that night. When I told her that she wouldn't be a good mother, I didn't mean it. I was caught up in my emotions and frustrations. I'll always regret not being able to tell her that I didn't mean that when I said it."

Aria sighed heavily. She knew all too well what it felt like to be called an unfit mother. She placed her hand on Ezra's back and slowly rubbed her hand up and down, unsure of what to say next.

"Come with me," Ezra whispered suddenly.

"Where?" Aria cocked her head to the side.

"To Katelyn's grave tomorrow," He stated as if it was nothing big to ask of her.

"Oh…no, Ezra," Aria shook her head rapidly. "I can't. That's a private time for you. I don't want to intrude. Plus, I didn't even know her."

"Then I think it's time you meet her," Ezra pleaded. "Please? You've been my rock this whole week. Especially tonight. I need you there tomorrow."

Aria bit her lip. It felt a little disrespectful, but it was what Ezra wanted. She hated seeing him so broken up and depressed. The past week had practically beaten him up to the point where she hardly recognized him. If she could be there to soften the blows even just a little, she would be. "Okay."

Ezra smiled softly, then inched his lips towards hers, closing the gap at a snail's pace. When his lips finally touched hers, she could feel his smile grow slightly, causing her to do the same. Despite being buried in his sadness he was still her Ezra. She could feel it in his kiss. He kissed her with the same passion and heart that he always did, although this time it wasn't as hungry or lustful. It was slow and tender, the way a kiss of comfort should be.

It was strange, the feeling of intimacy she had just from his kiss and his confessions. He was naked with her in the emotional way instead of in the physical way, and in some ways, it felt better.

"I love you," Aria whispered against his lips.

"I love you more," Ezra challenged.

Aria shook her head and kissed him harder, trying to convey that that was in no way possible. But when he responded with the same force, he told her that maybe it was.

Line Break

Katelyn's grave sat alone underneath an Oak tree. It was rectangular with a rounded top and fresh roses on either side. The headstone read: Katelyn Moore Fitz. August 17th, 1984- April 2nd, 2013. Daughter, wife, beloved friend. Romans 14:8.

"For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. Romans 14:8," Ezra said as he placed a fresh bouquet of white roses in front of the stone, making the scene look even more picturesque than it had before. "It was one of her favorite versus. It gave her a lot of comfort when she was doubting the things in her life."

Aria stared at the grave and repeated the verse in her head a couple of times. Growing up in a household that never enforced religion, Aria hadn't learned bible verses as a child. She didn't know any books of the bible aside from the ones that were pretty much common knowledge. She hadn't known that Ezra was a biblical name or a book in the bible until Ezra told her. It wasn't that she rejected the idea of religion; she just hadn't been interested in it…until she met Ezra.

One night while they were laying in bed, Ezra told Aria some stories from his Sunday School days. He mentioned going to church every Sunday as a kid and trying to keep the tradition up with Katelyn when they got married. He talked about his favorite verses and his confirmation in the church. Aria had just listened, not having anything similar to contribute. At the time she had just brushed it off as another conversation, but the more time that went by and the more she learned about Ezra, the more she considered looking in to his faith.

"It does sound comforting," Aria answered, instantly wishing she had just nodded and kept her mouth shut. It was such a simple thing to say.

Ezra smiled and wrapped his arm around Aria's waist. They stood there for a moment just like that, not talking, just staring straight ahead. The wind blew through their hair and caused the Oak tree to rustle. The voices of other people visiting loved ones carried through the air, sounding distant and almost joyful by the time it reached them.

She left Ezra alone so that he could pray, telling him to take his time and that she would just wait in the car.

About fifteen minutes passed before he appeared back at the car with wet eyes and a sad smile. When he slid in the driver's seat, Aria immediately reached for his hand and pulled it into her lap. Ezra stared at her for a fleeting second, as if he was saying "thank you" with his eyes. The left corner of her mouth twitched upward, showing the hint of a sympathetic smile. They'd made it through the week of hell and somehow came out closer and, perhaps, stronger than before.

A/N: I have some good news for y'all. It comes with a bit of explanation so I'll dive right in. I have Cystic Fibrosis, which is a chronic lung disease. I've had it my whole life and every once in a while my lungs get so much mucus in them that I can't clear it out by myself, so I have to be admitted into the hospital for IV antibiotics. That's where I am now and that's where I'll stay for the next 10-14 days. So what's the good news? I'll have lots and lots of down time to write. So plan on not having to wait a week or longer between updates for a while.

Personal stuff aside, what did y'all think of the chapter? Sorry I didn't go full "smut" in this chapter. But I can say that for those of you wanting that, you'll really enjoy chapter 15. *wink wink* I will also say that for those wanting a jealous Liam/Ezra, you will also enjoy chapter 15. *wink wink* What'd y'all think of the flashback from Ezra's POV? Do you like that Ezra took Aria to "meet" Katelyn? As always, I ask that you please, please, please review! Thanks so much for reading!

Oh, I also want to say that I think this story is going to be about 21-22 chapters long plus an epilogue!

-Erin xoxo

PS: Can we talk about that Ezria scene in 6x20?! Hot damn, I am alive again!