In Your Arms

by missashlee28

Updated: Chapter 17. [RikuoKazahaya], [KakeiSaiga], and some gen. An experience that results in arguments, laughter and unexpected situations: life. A compilation of many oneshots: some drabbles and some full length.

14. Confusion

Title: Disorder
Rating: PG
Pairing: Rikuo/Kazahaya
Challenge: confusion

I hate you.

You push and you pull and I never have any clue what direction you want me to be in.

Sometimes, I think all of the trouble is worth it. There are days when I see a spark of life in your eyes, days when you don't seem completely dead inside.

Other days it seems like nothing will ever penetrate the walls you have up. You're the idiot who invited me, so why do you insist on keeping the door shut?

You're a coward. Nobody ever sees it; you never show vulnerability to anyone. How can they not realize your armor is your weakness?

I hate you for putting me through this – it's Hell – and you can't even manage to tell me why.

I hate you for making me care. I hate you for saving me from freezing to death. I hate you for instead making me suffer the never-ending cold caused solely by you.

You know why I hate you the most, don't you, Rikuo? It's not because you're cold or arrogant. It's not because I know that I'll never find my way inside you, no matter how hard I try.

It's because you don't have enough left inside to hate me back.

And I don't hate you at all.