A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words.
Warnings: Boy love and references to past drug use.
Disclamer in the ending
Break My Fall
Chapter fourteen
Home
'Please….'
I had a dream last night
'Don't come in…'
There was a creature
A bird
'Please…'
I had never seen something as beautiful in all my life
'Just leave me be…'
Crimson and gold, soft and soothing
She wrapped around me
She cradled me
She kept me warm and safe
'Please, someone…'
And then
'End this'
We burned to ashes together
"It looks beautiful" crimson eyes rose to meet a pair of blue, as the scratching of the colored pencil stopped. The young woman smiled softly, balancing crouched next to the child "You are really good at this" she beamed.
The boy clenched the red pencil, eyeing her warily.
With a slight tilt of her head, she continued to smile softly, and turned her eyes back to the childish drawing "I like how are using the colors. It makes it seem lively. Is it a phoenix?" she questioned, resting her cheek on her palm, when the other didn't reply.
After a long pause, a little mumbled replied to her "It's a bird"
"Phoenixes are birds" she chuckled well naturedly "Haven't you ever heard, or read about them? I mean, I have seen you read a lot" the boy bit his lip, looking tense. In the end he shook his head hesitantly at her question.
"Phoenixes are mythical creatures, remarkable ones, associated with sun and fire"
The younger's eyes widened "Fire?"
The woman nodded, making her long curls bounce, smiling even brighter at the interest the boy was showing as well as getting a few words out of his mouth.
"They are said to envelop in flame when their lives come to an end" the youth's eyebrows furrowed, only to rise to the point of hiding under his bangs when she finished her next sentence.
"Only to be reborn and rise from their ashes once more"
/\/\/\
PinkKumagoro just entered the conversation.
PinkKumagoro said: AT LAST! I have returned
PinkKumagoro said: Don't cry guys, I know you missed me, but now I am back
NoahKaiba13 said: See, Mail? I told you he was offline
MailJeevas said: And I was certain there was some malfunction,
MailJeevas said: How did that happen?
NoahKaiba13 said: Welcome back, Kumagoro-kun
PinkKumagoro said: Tadaima~~~
PinkKumagoro said: I am sorry for this
PinkKumagoro said: There wasn't Wi-Fi available within range in the plane
PinkKumagoro said: So I had to disconnect
MailJeevas said: It was really unusual not seeing you here
PinkKumagoro said: Did I interrupt anything between you two?
NoahKaiba13 said: KUMAGORO-KUN!
PinkKumagoro said: Is that a yes?
WinryGenius said: I am here as well. And no you didn't
WinryGenius said: Although you could show some delicacy and be less blunt
PinkKumagoro said: MY LOVE! I am such an asshole
PinkKumagoro said: I didn't notice you were here! Will you find it in your heart to forgive me?
WinryGenius said: No, not really
PinkKumagoro said: ;_;
WinryGenius said: Emoticons don't make any difference. In fact they are annoying.
MailJeevas said: You were on a plane? Where are you traveling, Kumagoro?
PinkKumagoro said: Home
MailJeevas said: Is it a long trip?
PinkKumagoro said: Yep
PinkKumagoro said: Quite
PinkKumagoro said: Like 11 hours or so
PinkKumagoro said: But I slept most way through, so I hardly noticed
MailJeevas said: What time is it there? It's 12:49 in the noon, here
PinkKumagoro said: It is 1:49 past midnight here
PinkKumagoro said: We just entered Saturday two hours ago! This is really weird!
PinkKumagoro said: I traveled in time!
MailJeevas said: Haha. Have you reached home?
PinkKumagoro said: I am in a taxi, on my way
NoahKaiba13 said: Alone?
PinkKumagoro said: Nope
NoahKaiba13 said: Good, traveling alone is lonely
PinkKumagoro said: That's cute
PinkKumagoro said: But not as cute as Winry-chan!
WinryGenius said: Tsk…
PinkKumagoro said: Did Winry tell you guys?
PinkKumagoro said: We are going on a date!
NoahKaiba13 said: WHAT!?
MailJeevas said: … Winry-san… Don't end up in jail please
WinryGenius said: It is not a date
PinkKumagoro said: Of course it is!
NoahKaiba13 said: Wait, you are actually meeting?
PinkKumagoro said: Yes!
WinryGenius said: I only mentioned that I live in the same town and he just went on and arranged everything. I never even said I was attending
PinkKumagoro said: Well, I shall wait either way~
NoahKaiba13 said: I admire your bravery
MailJeevas said: Whose bravery?
NoahKaiba13 said: Um… Dunno, both?
WinryGenius said: Kumagoro, did you say this so they could read it, so you could whine to them when I won't come?
PinkKumagoro said: Tsk. Winry-chan, maybe I don't show it but I have some honor as a man. Even if you decide not to appear, I will grieve by myself and whine to no one.
WinryGenius said: Are you trying to guilt-trip me?
PinkKumagoro said: No, not really. Although I would really like to meet you, I won't hold it against you if you prefer not to
NoahKaiba13 said: Oh wow, you are actually quite considerate guy
WinryGenius said: Don't encourage him
MailJeevas said: That sounded almost mature. But seeing as I have seen such behaviors before, I don't trust it
PinkKumagoro said: Wise of you, Mail
PinkKumagoro said: I've got to go for now
PinkKumagoro said: Have people to greet
PinkKumagoro said: Will stay online though! I will check
PinkKumagoro said: Each
PinkKumagoro said: One
PinkKumagoro said: Of your messages when I am back
PinkKumagoro said: So watch what you are typing!
MailJeevas said: You do know we can have private conversations right?
PinkKumagoro said: …
PinkKumagoro said: See you~
NoahKaiba13 said: Take care!
WinryGenius said: Pff
Kai's POV
"Will you please stop that?" I groaned rubbing by eyes tiredly. The trip with the plane had been tiring. I had managed to grab some good sleep, but I still felt a bit drained. Or maybe I hadn't woken up very well. Or the wine from last night, decided to tell me good morning.
Rafael looked up from his phone, where he had been typing furiously for the last couple of minutes. It wasn't so much the typing that bothered my head, rather than the annoying 'dings' that came from the device every few seconds.
"I can mute it" he shrugged. I rolled my eyes with a sigh and dropped my head back once more, only for to snap up and shoot him a glare when those sounds echoed in the taxi one more time.
To his credit, he had the decency to look apologetic, with a slight blush even. He typed something more and placed it in his pocket, showing me his hands in defense and as a proof that it wouldn't continue. After that we both settled in silence. The roads were pretty quiet, regardless it being Friday night- Saturday morning. I gazed tiredly out of the window, regretting my choice to even open my eyes, whenever the driver hit a hole on the asphalt. It wouldn't be my fault if I ended up decorating the seats with puke. Or maybe it would be. It was my decision to drink after all, but I hadn't considered flying.
Not that I had problems with planes, or that I had drunk that much, but I guess the combination of the two, as well as a not-so-skilled driver as a cherry top created that nausea to go well with my pounding head. Thankfully we were almost there.
The pathetic mewl from the pet cage next to me was a sign that I wasn't the only one done with this trip. Elektra seemed to be suffering just as much. In the plane she had been trying to get my attention while being held to the front of the plane but thankfully had given up soon, or the rest of the passengers would have killed me. Still, an aristocrat like her couldn't just take being in such a small box for so long. I had requested to take her out when I woke up, but still it only gave her enough time to stretch in my hands and get a few cuddles before she was unwillingly placed back to the cage and gave me a glare of doom and betrayal.
When we were finally off the plane, I considered getting her out for another stretch but I feared she might run off to punish me for my sins and I didn't have the energy to deal with this. So she remained in her box, until we were to reach home.
"Once we are back, I'll make you something for the hangover" Rafael broke the silence a little after. He had probably been observing me and my display of desperate and pained expressions.
"I don't have a hangover" I grunted. He rolled his eyes.
"For the headache then" he responded with a shrug. I could almost hear the 'if it makes you feel better to think it like that' that followed his statement, mentally.
I gave a short nod, for which I was punished with another wave of nausea and pinched the bridge of my nose hissing.
After what seemed like ages, the taxi stopped and we both got off. The staggering was quite normal, seeing as we had been sitting and laying the latest hours. We balanced and placed the luggage on the sidewalk. My step brother paid the driver and the car was off, leaving the street quiet and poorly lit.
Still, even with the light provided by the half ruined street lamp, my head felt a tiny bit better when I faced the store residing in front of us. God how I had missed this place, I hadn't even realized how much till then.
Silver Phoenix really stuck out among the other buildings, just a little bit, looking a little too British for these grounds. It was a nice wooden nest, where I loved to spend my time, surrounded by the smell of paper, lounging onto the couches and armchairs. It was perfect for anyone to relax and read.
Rafael went ahead and unlocked the door, dragging his suitcase, while I followed with my own in one hand and Elektra's box in the other. Said cat, seemed to have figured we had reached our final destination, because I felt the box moving energetically and her bell kept clinging, the moment we stepped in. I set it down and rushed off to the storage room of the shop, getting the cat set, including the sandbox, two bowls and a scratching board.
"I can't believe we are settling the cat first" whined the white-haired teen, huffing.
"Pregnant people and cats don't go well" I reminded him and opened Elektra's box. Without a moment to waste, she rushed off to visit the sandbox, before going off to explore the depths of the shop "We can't take her to the house" I placed the box to the storage room, noting to clean it at the morning, thankfully she hadn't ruined its insides.
"Mom is at the ninth month. I doubt your feline can do much harm now"
"Better safe than sorry" I shrugged and took my luggage once more, after filling her bowls with food and water, heading to the door with him. A series of loud mewls followed me, the moment my pet realized I was leaving. Oh how she would hold all this against me. First I shove her in a cage for hours and now abandon her? I would be seeing her tail for weeks.
Crouching I pet her head and back, while she observed me and the open door suspiciously "I will be back by morning. I will be right next door" I explained tiredly.
"I am sure she understands that" came Rafael's ironical remark. I shot him a glare and rose once more, getting out with him. It was really tricky to make it past the door while keeping the feline indoors and even after the door closed, she stayed there, looking at us through the glass. Judging us and possibly cursing us and our ancestors.
Just as I told her, we only had to drag the luggage to the building next to the bookstore. Once more, Rafael was the one holding the keys and he stepped in first, holding the door for me. I gave him a head motion as a thank you and we went ahead to the elevator.
The building had six storey building. Heather and Richard owned the whole fourth floor, it was a nice apartment all in all, modern and comfortable and having a whole floor to themselves gave them made it quite spacious too. Most of the floors were divided to two apartments each. So did the fourth actually, but they treated it as one and there was a door between the kitchens for it to be possible to go from one apartment to the other without needing to step into the hall or the balcony.
Once on the right floor, the key-keeper once more moved front to open.
"They might be sleeping, we should keep quiet" I whispered, my voice echoing even at this volume at the silent hall. Rafael chuckled to himself, probably knowing that Heather was unlikely to not wait to greet them.
He was right. The second the door opened, a figure came rushing toward them with extreme excitement and speed that no woman with so big baby bump should be allowed to have. I felt the nausea join up with dizziness at the sight and used the doorframe as support, looking away.
"My boys!" sang the woman, wrapping her arms around her son's neck enthusiastically "Welcome home"
My step brother beamed and hugged her in return. I know that if it wasn't for the baby, he could have easily lifted and swigged her around, like I had seen him do in the past. Heather was shorter than both of us, coming up half a head above my shoulder. Right now she was in a white nightdress, her long curly hair, with similar color of her son's, jumping at her every movement. It didn't make me any less dizzy.
"Mom, please don't run. You will give him a heart attack" cheered the other male, obviously enjoying full heartedly with my suffering.
It wasn't my fault that pregnancies stressed me out! It is a very vulnerable condition for both the carrier and the baby, so I never felt too comfortable being in the same room with one. Let alone seeing them jump around like deers. I kept feeling that something would happen to them, maybe go into labor right in front of me, or like, get hurt, or hurt the baby, I don't know. It just stresses me out. Ridiculous I know. But I can't help it. Even I am allowed to have some irrational fears. Rafael had once joked that if I ever got a woman pregnant, we would need more doctors for me than her.
Heather giggled, letting go of her younger son and turned her attention to me, her blue eyes shining with joy upon seeing me. I couldn't help but return the smile faintly (after I had gathered myself from the doorframe). Behind me, Rafael closed the door.
"You have grown taller again" she chipped and moved forward, giving me a tight embrace, like the one she had given her actual son a moment ago, maybe a little tighter. I gulped, feeling her swollen form against me and cautiously returned the hug. I must have looked like I was touching something extremely expensive, or made of glass and wasn't certain how to hold without risking of breaking it.
Still, I had missed her, and her motherly care, so I let myself enjoy it, regardless my worry "It happens at this age" I mused, breathing out "It's good to see you"
"It's good to see you too!" she whined and gave one last squeeze before stepping back and observing me from top to bottom "Although you look like you have lost weight, are you not eating?"
"He ate a whole cake the other day" mused Rafael, who was moving the luggage between rooms, settling them in their rightful place already. Both mine and his.
"That was like months ago" I complained.
"You haven't eaten in months!?" shirked Heather, with a slight panicked expression. I couldn't help but look amused, while trying hard not to laugh at how she honestly seemed to believe that. She wasn't slow or anything, just occasionally naïve and I had come to love her like that.
"Mom, he would have died if he hadn't eaten in months" her son replied with a groan and gave me an apologetic look in her place. Not that he needed to excuse her of course.
"Oh, right right" replied the woman, looking unaffected by her own outburst "Are you hungry?"
"Starving" Rafael's voice sounded from somewhere in the back rooms.
"We can settle ourselves, you should sleep" I mentioned. Maybe Rafael and I weren't sleepy, since we had had slept at the plane and were also disorientated by the time change, but for the locals it was still well beyond midnight. Speaking of which, I hadn't seen my father, so he was probably sleeping, as well as Heather's older son.
"Oh no, I slept earlier so I could take care of you when you arrived" she replied and led the way to the kitchen, getting busy "Your father tried really hard to stay awake to see you" she begun, while getting plates ready. I helped her with carrying the heavy bowl with the spaghetti "The poor thing was exhausted. He drank like three coffees but his attempts turned useless, he ended up falling asleep on the couch" she mumbled a little 'thank you' for my help, and poured water into two glasses, getting the table read for me and the other teen "Luckily, no university at the morning, so he can have all the time of the world with you" she grinned and settled onto one of the chairs, with a sigh. The whole pregnancy thing must be really tiring.
I took my seat and in a matter of seconds, Rafael joined us.
"I found Richard on the couch" he reported, getting into eating instantly "Did you kick him out of bed?"
Heather and I traded a glance, in which once more I felt amused, while she mirrored the expression her son wore when she had asked if he had been starving for months.
"No, I was just telling Kai that he wanted to wait for you, but was too tired"
"Ow. Well, better rest if he is tired" he shrugged and concentrated on his meal.
I ate my own, making sure to empty it, because the lady in the room threw me side glances every once in a while to make sure I was eating. To be honest, it seemed to help my stomach for which I was relieved.
Heather stayed with us almost until dawn. It took multiple reassurances for both of us that we were fine, until she finally saw fit to go grab some sleep herself. In the early hours of morning, Rafael decided to do so as well, withdrawing to the room he shared with his other brother, hoping he could fix his schedule to the new timeline. I should probably do that too but at the moment, any need for sleep seemed to have vanished.
I considered setting my things into the guestroom where I stayed but for once, I didn't want to make a lot of noise and wake them up, and secondly, most things were already settled around the room thanks to my brother in law. In the end I just stayed to the kitchen table, with my laptop, trying not to type too much, since the keyboard also made quite a few noises.
Funny how peaceful everything seemed at that moment, especially if you considered the emotional turmoil I went through back in Japan. It felt brilliant to have all this tension off my shoulders, even if I knew I would have to go back to the whole thing soon. Well, at least this morning provided a very welcomed break off the whole stress-existential-sexual crisis- packing-flying-etc thing. It was even less than a day that all those things took place, one after the other, who knew a day could be this long. And I am not even talking about how I lived the whole Saturday from scratch when I arrived to Pasadena. Even with all my time traveling both alone and with the team, jet-lag was always occurring.
Resting against the back of my chair I dropped my head back, letting out a silent groan. I was supposed to go see Max tomorrow and I just recalled that the facility where Judy worked had moved. It had been mentioned months ago, and speaking of which I didn't have the slightest idea of where the new one resided. Just my luck.
Max's POV
"Where are we going?" I perked up at the seat of the van, when I noticed that we had taken the wrong turn. Actually, the whole road seemed foreign to me. I had been to the center where my mother worked enough times to at least know the way, so the scenery made me feel quite lost.
It was Friday afternoon when we arrived in California… Which… Should have been the first thing I to noticed, not the road trip. Quite some time had passed since we entered the vehicle as well and it only now occurred to me that the whole way had been wrong, as well as the airport in which we landed.
Emily turned to look at me over her shoulder from the front seat, raising an eyebrow "Are you still shaken from the flight?"
"We are going to PPB central, Max" it was my mother, who also seemed quite concerned and taken aback from my question.
"That's… Not the way" I felt like I was missing something, because they both stared at me like I had shaved my head.
They kept watching me for a moment, even passing a meaningful glance between each other, till Emily rolled her eyes and sighed "We changed buildings about a year ago, remember? You visited last time you were here" she said, like she was trying to explain to a three year old that they were not supposed to eat glue.
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at my mother. She didn't seem to be planning on contradicting her colleague's statement. So obviously I was missing something indeed, because I remembered none of this. In fact, the last time I recalled coming to America was more than a year ago.
I didn't like the look either of them was giving me, so I decided to play along, letting out a giggle like sound before saying "Oh right!" I smiled and shook my head "Sorry, I forgot" I reassured them and sunk in my seat, looking out of the window. Emily turned to her laptop indifferently, while my mother kept her eyes on me for a little longer, obviously not convinced. In the end she gave up and turned her attention elsewhere as well.
A year ago.
That was when they changed buildings… And I supposedly visited a little after right? Now that we mentioned the whole thing, I do recall some conversations where it was implied that I indeed was in America around that time. I had moved along with these conversations normally too, but… I don't remember it. I don't remember the new building, or even coming and going to it. It should be around ten months ago, right? Well around that time I…
I gulped. It was around the time I got mixed up with drugs wasn't it? It must had been, that's why I don't remember it. So… Did I start then, or after I returned? Let's see… Let's connect the dots. Let's try to follow the line back to what-
"Ah!"
"Max?" a gentle hand rested on my shoulder though I hardly heard my mother's call, above the pounding in my ears, as the sudden wave of pain all across my head reminded me that trying to remember was a bad idea.
"I'm alright" I breathed out, clutching my head with both hands "Just a headache, must be from the trip" a small moan made it through my lips, as I risked opening my eyes and straightened up upon my seat once again. Once more my mother didn't look the least convinced.
Emily who was once more glancing at us over her shoulders, turned to her screen, and made a show about putting on her headphones. In seconds I could hear the music being loud enough to reach us, so I suppose it was her way of saying 'I can't hear you, have all the privacy you want'. The driver was ahead of the van so I doubted he could even hear us anyway.
Judy looked at the redhead with a weak fond smile and moved her gaze to me once more "Were you trying to remember again?" she muttered. I felt the heat rise on my cheeks.
"How…?"
"Your father told me such a thing happened when you tried to remember… Also that you have forgotten a few things" she paused, staring intense at me. I wondered if she was hurt that I didn't share this with her as well. I could only lower my eyes, feeling a little ashamed for that "I take it your last visit is among the things you don't remember?" she made sure to sound softer this time. I gave a slow nod.
"I really want to know what happened" I confessed tiredly, in a very low volume.
"I know…" she sounded sympathetic and when I turned to face her, I knew she was just as troubled with this as I was "But maybe you should let it go… You are alright now"
"Dad said so too" we were both whispering at the moment. Even if the whole thing was something that caused distressed, I felt like another weight was being taken away from me, with sharing my thoughts and worries with her "But how can I? I know that I should get over it, but it is huge"
"And what will you do if you find out?"
My mother was always strong and stoic. A lot like Kai actually, so seeing the hint of fear behind her eyes, even if she was trying to keep the conversation leveled, said a lot about how much she cared.
"Whatever happened brought the things you went through, Max… I don't want it to do so again"
"It won't" I was so confident that whatever it was, I was stronger than it. Maybe I wasn't in the past, but now I was. I could face it, without falling to that pathetic state all over.
"Maybe, but still… I don't want to see you hurt again" a soft touch rested upon my cheek and she offered a small caress, to which I leaned into and nuzzled lightly upon her hand. In return she offered a small smile and a kiss on the top of my head.
"I don't like this ignorance" I mumbled and added, before she could contradict me "Even if it is keeping me safe… It will keep eating me"
She nodded understandingly "I know what you mean" she sighed and brushed her blonde locks back "Maybe it will come to you in time… No need to pressure it, alright?"
"Alright…"
We shared a warm hug, before relaxing into our seats once more. Thankfully, the issue was pushed at the back of my mind, as the trip went on. I concentrated to what I had been missing and everyone I would see after such a long time. I could see myself smiling in the glass.
It only now downed to me, that after three months inside a cage, in a few hours I had traveled half way across the world and breathing new air. In a way it was refreshing. Scratch that, it was refreshing in every way. The surroundings kept changing; I wasn't encircled by the scent of hospital plus I could go wherever I wanted. Sure, I didn't have my friends there, but I could go back to Japan whenever I chose and they would be there. And there was nothing for me to hide.
My grin widened, as I once again sunk into the seat, feeling much lighter now.
I was normal again.
My parents were right, whatever the thing I couldn't remember was, it was only past. And here I was now.
For a mere flick of second, the words 'thanks to Kai' were added to the end of this whole line of thought, but I safely tacked it away. It would only make me thing of him and one of the reasons I came this far was in an attempt to get over this… Crush or whatever it was.
The new central for PPB All Starz looked pretty similar to the old one. Maybe a little more modern and expensive. Heh, bless the wealth of the owner and his fancy taste. Maybe we weren't rich; still my mother's payment was good. It was one of the things that made it so easy for her and I to travel whenever we wished.
Indoors, the building was showing just how much expense weren't spared. It was pretty lively too, with people coming and going between the facilities, many of which greeted both Emily and my mother. Actually, a couple of them even greeted me and I recognized most of these faces, even if I shamefully admit that I didn't recall each of their names.
"Emily, could you show Max his room? I need to catch up with a few things right away"
Emily's glare could have burned right through my mother's skull and the opposite wall as she stopped walking to offer it. Mom seemed incredibly unfazed. In fact, it looked like the look her colleague gave her, was more of a reassurance that she would indeed do what she had just been asked to "Thank you, dear" she said with a grin before turning to me "I will see you later alright?"
I nodded trying not to laugh at their exchange "I will probably sleep early" I responded. I had had some really hard time to keep myself awake in the flight, just so I would be forced to sleep during nighttime here. Mother's sleeping schedule was messed up anyway, both from her work load and the repeating trips; I had let her rest on the way.
"Ok, then I will see you tomorrow" she gave a quick hug before rushing off, with her heels tapping.
Sheepishly I looked at Emily, whose eyebrows were joined and she seemed to calculating if she could get off with murder in the middle of the facility "I am sorry you got stuck with me" I dared say, hoping that my suppressed laughter didn't tick her off further.
She let out a rough breath sarcastically and turned, leading the way "Come on. I don't have all day to babysit you" she hissed. I sucked my lips in and bit down on them, since the urge to laugh was only growing.
We kept walking into the long corridors in what could have been an awkward silence, but were just… natural occurrence considering who I was walking with. Besides, after all the time I had passed with Kai, I was used to quiet companions. Although surprising as it might was, Kai was a much less hostile companion.
Trying to fool myself into thinking I wasn't just thinking of Kai again, I dared speak to the girl "Are we close?" no matter how polite I tried to sound, I knew it wouldn't have effect on her response.
"Close enough" strangely enough, it didn't sound like she was thinking of murder methods anymore "You don't remember the place at all?" for another strange occurrence to be added to the pile, her question had a hesitant tone. Hesitation and Emily don't usually go together, she is straightforward and blunt.
Seeing as the climate was, if not peaceful, then at least sedated, I gave her an honest look and shook my head with a frown.
After scanning my expression for any signs of mischief, she nodded and straightened her glasses as we took another turn.
I stopped.
"Max?" she looked at me curiously when she realized I wasn't following.
I could have sworn my body had broken into cold sweat. I don't know what happened, I could hear my heartbeat getting louder and faster. My breath started coming out shaking. In fact, my breath wasn't the only thing shaking.
I couldn't move, the room seemed to sway in and out of focus.
And there was only one though, repeating –screaming- in my head like litany.
Get away… Get away. Get away getawaygeawayGetAwayGETAWAY!
A loud gasp escaped my lips when a familiar voice called out my name from behind. It anchored me back to reality, even if it took me a moment to connect it to a face. Turning around, I grinned widely when I encountered my childhood friend.
"Alan!"
Alan looked at me like I had grown a second head, before grinning widely and running all across the corridor to jump into a hug with me "Oh my god, I am so happy to see you" he laughed, tightening his arms around me.
"You too!" I cheered, stepping back to look at him. He had grown a little taller. Taller than me. I pondered if I should hold this against him, but I was still growing too. There was time to surpass him.
I had almost forgotten that after getting out of the mess with the stolen stone, Judy had actually accepted him back. Well, it had been under my request, but still. He seemed to be doing ok, considering his not so clear past. He was eyeing me too, although… Maybe a little more thoroughly than I had done. As if he was looking for something. I don't know if he found it or not, but when he faced me again, his grin had widened even more. He seemed almost… Relieved.
"I was worried for you. Judy kept coming and going and didn't tell anyone what happened" he explained. Maybe he read through my expression that I had noticed his caution. I gave a short nod.
"I am alright" I reassured, returning the smile.
"McKenzie"
I almost jumped out of my skin, having forgotten that Emily was still standing just a few steps away. In fact, she had been observing me even before Alan appeared, but I pretty much forgot the stance I got into, the moment my friend appeared. She was giving a glare to Alan. Glares from Emily, are like scratches from a cat, they are expected and normal, but for some reason, the one she was giving Alan seemed to contain more poison than usual.
"Don't you have work to do?" she bellowed. It almost seemed like a warning.
Alan's eyebrows furrowed guiltily and he nodded. Just accepting it like that, lowering his head in submission. It didn't sit well in my stomach. So as soon as he told me he would see me later, and repeated he was really glad I was ok, he made a move to go, which I stopped by catching his arm.
"Do you know where my room is?" I questioned.
My friend looked a little taken aback by the question "I- um…" he glanced at the girl and I instantly turned my attention to her, to make sure she wouldn't sign him anything behind my back. She seemed disorientated.
"Your mother asked me to walk you there, so I have to-"
"You have work to do and I have time to catch up with Alan. It's no big deal" I marveled.
The girl was obviously having some sort of internal struggle, part of which's outcome were occasional glares toward the brown haired. Alan had suddenly found his shoes to be extremely interesting.
No matter how hard I was trying to keep a cheerful expression, there was no doubt that my staring contest with the redhead, was more of a glaring contest.
"Max, I don't think-"Alan begun speaking hesitantly and I raised my free hand to motion him to stop talking.
Finally the girl sighed and shrugged "Suit yourself" she mused and passed me my key-card for my room. With that she passed us, and left. The other boy kept watching her until she was out of sight; as if he expected her to come and stab him from the back if he lost her from his sight.
We turned to the first corridor on the right and continued on, until we reached the door which I guess was my place. I unlocked and dragged in the carriage with my luggage, with Alan on my tail. As soon as the door was closed, I turned to him, with a frown.
"What was that about?"
He shrugged; keeping his gaze pinned on the floor. When he spoke it was in such a low tone, that I hardly caught what he said "Your mother… Told me to stay away from you"
Once I was sure I had gotten this right, I frowned even more "She – Why?" I almost felt an anger building toward my mother, but before letting it burn, I figured I should at least make some sense. My mother was generally a reasonable person, so she wouldn't had made such a cruel demand without a reason.
"Well… Considering my past" he chuckled bitterly, kicking the ground, more to give himself something to do than any other reason.
"What does that have to do with anything? I thought we were all past that?" once again, I had this annoying feeling that there was something I was missing.
Alan remained silent, looking anywhere but me. In fact he looked miserable. I felt like I could start beating him up and he wouldn't complain.
"Judy never said what happened to you" he whispered, lifting his gaze just barely to look at me. Something that seemed like he had to gather all his courage to do "What happened to you?"
Tick tock tick tock
"Why do you ask…?"
I am not sure what I was feeling at the time. Was I scared? Was I angry? Confused? What? And if I was scared, was it because I was being confronted once more, or was it that sickening feeling in my gut, that he already knew the answer?
Isn't it ironical? My mother said I should let it go and move ahead, yet here it was, coming to face me and reminding me that yes. It had happened. And it was part of my life. Didn't she say it might come to me in time? Well she didn't define how long time.
…
The clock must have stopped.
"Max, I am so… So sorry…"
Of all the things he could have said… He was apologizing.
"Sorry for what?" I didn't mean to sound forceful and I swear to God, I didn't want my friend to be part of any of this, but if he was, then finally I had some light. Some way to find out what happened.
His shoulders relaxed and he simply watched in silence.
"What… What do you remember of your last visit?"
I gazed at him pleadingly, feeling my own shoulders drop in defeat.
"Nothing"
He chuckled sadly and I couldn't connect the dots. Although I was at the edge of my seat. Literally. I don't recall when I sat or when he did, but we were facing one another and I was indeed sitting at the edge of my bed.
"So you don't remember scolding me for my…" he shrugged gave me another bitter smile. He almost seemed as defeated as I felt "Habits?"
"You…?"
A short nod and once more his eyes had fallen to the floor, expression turned solemn.
"Nothing heavy" he mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself. I knew how he felt. His whole posture showed how mad he was with himself about this. Still I couldn't bring myself to sympathize whole heartedly, seeing where this was going.
"I take it, you didn't stick to the softer stuff?" he glanced at me. The passing though of hurting him before, was coming closer to becoming a possibility.
"No… But am I to assume the 'softer stuff' was provided by you?" last person I had snapped at was Ray, when we were back at the hotel. Maybe once or twice at the hospital too, but the venom accompanying my words, hadn't made its appearance since that time with Ray.
Alan didn't even flinch. He just nodded.
Just as I had assumed, he didn't try to defend himself when I attacked him. I was never violent in nature, so it wasn't that surprising that even if I grabbed and shoved him, I wasn't about to start throwing punches, no matter how much I had the tickling urge to skin him was crawling under my own skin.
I panted, trying to get my temper under control, after hitting his chest a few times and tactfully keeping my hands away from his neck. I tried to reason that it was all over. That I was alright. It would be so relaxing to shove all the pain of what happened on him. Just like that, just… Throw all this blame, all this guilt on him. Finally be able to bury it and tell myself it was never my fault.
Chuckle
How selfish…
Alan lay under me silently, seemingly biting his lips and patiently waiting for any judgment I decided to lay on him. I sighed and dropped my chin on my chest, using his as support.
No matter what, it wasn't like Alan would have forced me to take anything against my will. So, let's keep this down. Let's be reasonable… Let's just fucking finds the answer and be done with it. Then I will be able to move on for real.
"Why…?" I whimpered tiredly, evening my breathing pace.
"You asked me to give you…" there was no judgment. No malice, or fear or anything in his voice. He was stating facts, because I asked him to. It didn't make any sense, why would I ask?
I could have decided to not believe him. But hadn't I already lived in denial of things for a while?
"Why?" I repeated.
My friend shook his head "I don't know"
"And you just-"my voice begun to rise again, but this time Alan didn't just take it. His own voice rang louder than mine.
"I was scared!" he boomed. After noticing how confused and lost I must have been looking, he dropped his head back to the floor once more and continued "Max, you don't understand…" one of his hands rose over his eyes "I am not trying to explain myself… I still feel guilty for what you went through and I am sorry… But-"he swallowed, seeming to be dreading the memory which I had forgotten "You were a mess… I had never seen you like this before. I don't know what happened to you, you never told me, but… You were lost; you were looking for a way out… I was scared… That if I didn't do whatever I could to 'help you' out… You-"he trembled and gasped, trying very hard to keep quiet while crying. How long had he been holding in all this?
I don't even remember the last time I felt the need to comfort someone. For months now I was the one being comforted. Still, it seemed to come natural upon embracing him and shushing him.
"Alan, it's alright… Shh... I am sorry I yelled at you" I muttered while cradling him, he clung to me in return.
"She… She wouldn't tell me what happened to you…" he panted between sobs "I am so happy you are alright…"
What a dork.
It was a while before he finally calmed down and a few dozen more apologies before he accepted the fact that he was forgiven. It seemed like my mother had somehow gathered that he was involved with my past condition and so kept him in the distance. Also, as a precaution, she had ordered him to keep his distance.
I wasn't worried. From what he said, he was just as clean as I was at the moment and after going through all this hell, there was no way I would take that turn ever again. If it came to it, I would explain that to her as well. The brown haired seemed to be feeling lighter and for the hours that followed, we left the whole thing behind.
By the time he was off to his own chambers and I dropped to sleep, it was like the whole occurrence had never happened.
I was bothered though. What I had learned today, was like having found the type of gun in a murder but not the murderer. Like: 'hey, it was a handgun that killed your friend', oh good. Who the fuck held the gun though!? Sure I found where I got my first dose, but the 'why' remained.
My friend was clueless. Or at least he seemed to be. I didn't dare press the matter any further than I saw fit. Whenever he was getting tense I stopped. I wasn't sure if I had told him back then what happened or not, but either way, I wouldn't be getting this answer from him.
Emotional stress, flight, romantic disappointment, headaches from memory lack, revelations and almost lost friendships…
Yeah.
I can definitely say that sleep was welcomed.
/\/\/\/\/\
"I wonder if I've been changed in the night. Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle"
"Whoa, you are reading very clearly for someone your age" the young woman held her knees close to her chest, watching over the child's shoulder as he read through Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. They were both sitting onto the staircase that led to the schoolyard, filled with lively children.
The boy humbly looked down, the faint tint of red upon his cheeks, showing he appreciated the praise, even if he wasn't too certain about how to respond.
"I like the book" he muttered after a moment "Thank you"
The girl beamed "You are welcome. I have lots of books I adore. I could bring you another once we are done with this one" she suggested.
The child nodded and continued reading, while the female observed in silence. She thought of telling him he should go play with the other kids, but they had gone through this issue already. She doubted he would change his mind any time soon.
It was alright. Not everyone was made to work in a team and she could tell that there was a lot of work to be done with the certain boy's social skills.
Still, they had made progress in the past weeks. The little boy would form full sentences for her, and when he was reading, he spoke fluently. He liked tales and seemed to withhold a lot of excitement every time she brought him a new one, wrapped up in the pages of a book. Drawing also seemed to be something he enjoyed, even if for some reason most of the time he was trying to hide it.
When she had dared ask why that was, he had only told her it was useless. Sometimes he said that about fairytales as well, but it didn't seem like his attraction to them was withholder by logic.
After bringing him every book and tale about phoenixes she could have found, they moved on to reading some classics. After Alice, she considered bringing him her favorite.
The Little Prince.
\/\/\/
Kai's POV
It was around nine in the morning, when I regretted the decision of not sleeping. I wasn't terribly tired or nodding off, but thinking the day I was to face ahead, seemed like a lot of hours without sleep. Oh well, maybe I could grab a nap later.
There was a lot of sound from the streets at this hour. Certainly not as much as on working days, but still, it was obvious that people around here were busy. In Japan, my house was in the middle of nowhere and the garden was big enough to create enough space from the noise, so it reminded me a little bit at the times of the dojo or the hotel how all the urban sounds gathered.
I closed the page where I had unearthed the whereabouts of the new building of PPB and started making coffee. Just in time too, as faint steps made their way to the kitchen.
A blond man, a bit taller than me stepped in, looking sleepy, with a bed-head which could have face-off with mine. He was wearing his dress pants and a wrinkled button up shirt. I had been told a lot of times that Richard and I looked a lot alike. It wasn't a lie, especially our faces had a lot of similarities and I had inherited his eyes. Still, he had a slimmer build than me, as well as more obvious cheekbones.
"Good morning" he said, trying to shoo away the sleep from his eyes by rubbing them "'m sorry I didn't welcome you yesterday"
"It's fine. Heather said you tried" I replied softly, pouring two cups of coffee and serving one to him, as soon as he took a seat to the table. I returned to my own seat, watching him.
"Thanks" he mumbled, taking the coffee and already looking more in touch with his environment at the first gulp than before.
"Want sugar?" I offered, as I added two spoonfuls in mine. He shook his head and waved the suggestion off, drinking some more.
"Nice wallpaper" he commented after a moment, giving me a teasing smile.
The latest ultrasounds Heather had had, had provided a much better picture of my upcoming sister, and they even had a 3D ultrasound. I couldn't resist.
"Well, you have her around every day"
"No, Heather has her around every day" he huffed and stretched, winching as his back cracked.
I chuckled "Rough time at the couch?"
"I was trying to stay awake" he whined and huffed at me. Once more he relaxed and concentrated to his drink "How are you?" he questioned after a while, sounding much more awake now that caffeine was in his veins.
"I am good" I shrugged, dragging close a box plate with cookies and placing it between us onto the table.
"School? Rafael says your grades are good. Not that I am surprised"
"I know. I am too smart for this" I joked, returning his implication that I was doing well because I was his son. Of course he could still claim that I was smart for the same reason.
"How is your grandfather doing?"
"Well too. Our relationship has been getting better and better… I guess you just have to get to his good side"
Richard chuckled ironically "Yeah, I wouldn't know how that is"
There was a pause, in which I waited for the next question, watching him from over the screen of my laptop. It didn't seem like he would ask, so.
"Mother is doing well too… Or at least that's what I read in gossip forums" I reported, sipping my own coffee.
He rewarded me with a frown "When was the last time you saw her?"
I shrugged "Dunno. Couple of months? Don't take that look, come on"
Honestly, I was used to my odd family condition. I didn't mind not having either of them close to me. Neither did I ever feel any sort of craving for parental affection. I mean, seriously, I had grown up with Susumu. Not quite the best example of parental figure, so really. Right now, having no one but my grandfather over my head was so much better than having them.
Richard nodded and grabbed a cookie, sipping it to the remains of his coffee.
…
I don't know him that well.
I met Richard when I was about six years old for the first time, but only acknowledge him as my father two or three years ago. Well, it was a little after the first world tournament I had with the Bladebreakers.
He is nothing like Susumu of course. He is kind and really cares, it is just that… Well, he is trying really hard to act like a father when it is obvious most of the time that he doesn't know how. It is like asking a trainee nurse to process a difficult surgery. It is not guarantee that they will fail but it is much unlikely they have the experience.
Hopefully, the upcoming baby will help him understand this role, since he didn't have the chance to grow as a parent next to me.
I appreciate that he is trying and I somewhat understand his need for me to accept him. But to be honest, in my age it is like this post is closing. I don't have a place for him anymore. Our relationship is good, we get along, we even play family with Heather and the others but it is unlikely we will ever have a 'normal' father/son relationship. I am not sure I can see and respect him like that, and neither is he trying to grab that respect. Maybe it is because he is afraid of my reaction, yet still the outcome is the same.
We finished our breakfast and started the small talk.
We could do pleasantly.
"Kai and I will open the shop today!" Rafael chipped cheerfully when the rest of the family members had gathered to have their breakfast.
"You don't need to open it. Nothing will happen if it stays closed for a few days, besides you guys arrived just today" whined the only female present. Speaking of which: Poor her, having to deal with four males.
"Well, there is the cat residing there, which we should check upon anyway and you know how much that guy likes books anyway" he motioned toward me with his butter-covered toast.
"Oh, I forgot about the cat" she whined, pouting at the realization that she couldn't have them around all day, to make up for all the time they were in Japan.
"Don't worry, Heather" I spoke up, hoping to lift her spirits "We will stick around for a while, so you will be seeing enough of us. We'll both stay until and for a while after the baby is born"
She offered a grin so warm that could have saved the Titanic, looking reassured.
"Alright then. You boys go ahead and do your thing. The poor shop indeed needs some care too after all"
Heather made a move to get up, only to have Richard's hand rest upon her shoulder. They traded some fond smiles and the man collected the dishes, except from the cup still resting in the oldest son's hands and went ahead with the washing. The pregnant stayed in her chair, hands resting onto her big belly.
After making sure that we weren't needed, Rafael and I headed to the shop.
Elektra seemed to be facing the dilemma of giving me the cold shoulder or being honest with herself and rushing to nuzzle to my legs. In the end she did the second but when I attempted to pet her, she bit me. Not strongly, but enough to pass the message that she was still mad at me. Finally, rising her tail she went off to find a comfortable couch and cover it with fur.
"Get her some fish bones, she will forgive you" suggested my step brother with a cackle, as he took his phone out with one hand and with the other he turned over the 'Closed' label to 'Open'.
"Tsk"
I got busy with cleaning the sandbox and the box for her caring. Once I was done with the pet stuff, I washed my hands and got busy opening the boxes of new arrivals which had been stocked into the storage room.
Richard didn't have the time for the shop and Heather couldn't stack them in her condition, so there were like ten big carton boxes lying there. Good thing I enjoyed going through all those titles, so placing them to the shelves was an enjoyable job. Also, I never got off the thrill of opening the boxes to find out what was contained there.
Rafael stayed downstairs, to the front of the shop, ready for his job as a cashier, with a coffee and his mobile at hand, the strap with the pink rabbit hanging from it.
/\
PinkKumagoro started a private conversation with you.
PinkKumagoro said: Winry-chan~ Would you like to have that date today?
WinryGenius said: I never agreed to that…
WinryGenius said: Also, didn't you just arrive today? Will you just abandon everything and go out?
PinkKumagoro said: I slept well~ Thank you for worrying about my wellbeing
PinkKumagoro said: I don't have to go out, you can come over!
WinryGenius said: … That's really charming
PinkKumagoro said: I don't mean at my house, I mean at the place where I work
PinkKumagoro said: I brought the anthology from Japan which you asked me for
WinryGenius said: … You might be a creep
PinkKumagoro said: I might be
WinryGenius said: …
PinkKumagoro said: I will give you the address.
PinkKumagoro said: I will be working here all day
PinkKumagoro said: Weather you choose to appear or not, is up to you
WinryGenius said: Are you guilt tripping me again?
PinkKumagoro said: No, I work here. So naturally I will be here.
WinryGenius said: Is it a dare then?
PinkKumagoro said: Haha
PinkKumagoro said: maybe
PinkKumagoro said: You are more of the type to answer to a challenge than a guilt trip anyway
WinryGenius said: Aha…
WinryGenius said: So…
WinryGenius said: Address?
Max's POV
The start of the new day didn't seem very promising. I woke up thrashing and covered sweat, although I don't remember what I had been dreaming about. I remember it was a nightmare. I think I was scared. I don't recall what went through it. Pretty much like the past I had been trying to dig through.
If my subconsciousness was sending me, or trying to send me some message, I would greatly appreciate if it did so, with a translating note attached, because I couldn't figure if it was trying to give me hints of what I had forgotten, or trying to warn me to not dig anymore.
I was growing really tired of the whole ordeal. It was as if now that my main problem was resolved and I was trying to get over my feelings too, maybe I was looking for something to think about instead and this seemed like a good option. Well… As good option as it is to play with fire because you are bored.
Regardless, even with such an unorthodox beginning, I would try to make the best I could out of my day. I got a really long and pleasurable shower, before making myself look decent and going to the restaurant of the facility to grab breakfast.
My mood lifted quite a bit upon seeing the place filled with life. So many people. And the smell from the foods was wonderful; the one overpowering most was coming from the puff pastry of the croissants.
I filled my platter with enough breakfast for two and headed off to find a table. Maybe if I spotted some familiar faces… Ah, Emily was at one table. I couldn't see Alan anywhere, so maybe he already had breakfast, or didn't yet. So I moved ahead and joined the girl.
No, I am not a masochist; neither do I enjoy picking on her. I just honestly like her. Surprising as it may be, I like her fiery character and no matter the cold and indifferent exterior she is presenting, I believe she can be a very reliable person. In fact, she was. If it wasn't for her, I am certain my mother wouldn't have been able to leave her post for so long. Emily was keeping everything running while she was gone.
I had my eyes on the redhead, so I ended up bumping onto someone else, who has fast enough reflexes to keep my platter straight.
"Ah, thanks! Sorry about that" I rushed to apologize, feeling a little embarrassed. Looking at the person I bumped on, I realized that I could only see a chest. It was good enough hint of who was in front of me but looking up to face them made sure "Eddy! Hey"
"Hello, Max" responded the basketball player, holding the platter stable until he was sure I had the hang of it once more "I didn't know you were here"
"I came yesterday, with my mom. It was sort of a… Last minute decision" I chipped.
The dark skinned nodded "You seem well"
I had grown to catch it when someone was scanning me. Scanning is not just 'looking'; it is a thoughtful observation, usually obvious even when tactful. And he was definitely doing it right now. It didn't bother me much, I mean it is completely understandable that they had been curious with my mother's constant absence, but it didn't feel any better to know someone was doing it. Before the whole drugs thing, I probably wouldn't have minded. Hell, I might even have felt flattered but after it all, the feeling had transformed into a constant paranoia that I was being judged, or examined under the microscope.
"I am well" I responded calmly, keeping a polite smile "How have you been?"
"Good, generally. Emily works us much harsher than Judy I must say" he groaned, and I couldn't help a little laughter.
"I wouldn't expect anything less for her" a small smile appeared on the taller's features as well "Where are the others?"
"Steve is trying to crawl out of bed as far as I am aware. You can never be too sure; maybe he is just giving it a lesson"
Well, sounds like him.
"What about Michael?"
The feeling of scanning wasn't getting any less awkward.
"Probably warm up"
He was… Definitely acting weird. Did a word slip among them? Alan wouldn't have said anything, I know that but maybe some theory went around? Cautiously I glanced around the room. It didn't look like I was being stared, so even if that was the case, it stayed in closed circle.
"Are you ok?" he gave a short nod. I highly doubted it "Are you going to get breakfast? I was going to sit with Emily, maybe you could join us?" I suggested, trying my best to make this conversation get a lean toward normal.
"No, I was just leaving"
I figured it was best not to point out that his platter was clean, or that he was heading to the waiting line before I stumbled over him.
"You are in the way"
We both jumped at the rough voice behind him. Rick seemed to lose his patience upon waiting for his turn to the buffet.
"Hi, Rick" I breathed out, actually quite relieved to have this awkwardness interrupted. My tuff friend didn't seem to be acting anything out of the usual. He looked down at me when he noticed me and let out a breath like a bull ready for attack.
"Look who is back" he commented.
I smiled amused at him.
He glanced at Eddy and the basketball player just cowered away, out of the line and finally out of the restaurant, after waving off at me. I waved back before looking at Rick.
"Have I missed something?"
The bigger guy shrugged in boredom "I don't know. It is not like I am paying attention. But you have been away for quite a while, so it is not impossible" he replied, starting to serve things for himself.
"I'm going to sit with Emily, will you join us?"
The reply I got was a grunt, which I wasn't sure if it was negative or positive. Rolling my eyes I finally headed off and took a sit opposite the redhead girl "'Morning" I beamed.
Thankfully I didn't receive a glare. Sadly I didn't receive any sort of acknowledgment nevertheless. With a loud groan I shifted on the bench, looking at her hopelessly. She still didn't seem to catch that I was there, or whatever was going on into the screen of her phone was impossibly interesting.
"Emily!" I called out, quite tired of being left out so early.
Finally she seemed to catch the message and turned to me "Oh, good morning" she replied, setting her phone onto the table. It didn't even seem like she was mad at my interruption, she normally turned her attention to her fruit salad.
With a sigh I started eating my own breakfast. Also, even if her phone was set down, her mind was everywhere but me. I am not whiny ok? I was just bored, starved from social life and had things to get off my mind. It doesn't work if you don't have someone to distract you!
"What's in your mind?" better dare to pick around, than sit there in silence, even if I risked receiving the death glare of doom.
It didn't come.
Sighing she shrugged and for the first time in my life knowing her, she pouted. Like, really pouted. You know that sort of cute thing where you purse your lips and furrow your eyebrows. That precious look that looked precious and poke-able on more than half of the planet? Yep, that one.
"Come on, Emily. I am bored and a tinny bit lonely. And you seem troubled too, which is unusual. So if it doesn't include numbers and sci-fi technology, in which case I can't help, you can talk to me"
An eyebrow was raised paired with a much more characteristic expression of arrogance toward me. I grinned feeling my spirits lift.
"You are a weird one" she pointed out.
"I have been told" I marveled while devouring a muffin "So?"
Honestly? I didn't expect her to open up; still it was one of those good surprises. Probably the first twist I enjoyed since I arrived.
"There is a book I really want" she started. It didn't seem too complicated "It had published in Japan a few years ago. It was limited edition"
I nodded "You asked my mom if she could get it for you?"
She seemed almost insulted "I couldn't have asked her for something like that. She was busy with more important things!"
"Ok, ok. Go on"
Breathing out, she sipped from her coffee before continuing "Someone might have brought it for me… But I don't know them personally…" with every sentence her face was getting shade by shade closer to her hair color "We have… Only talked online"
I didn't know Emily used her computer for anything other than research. Well, you learn something new every day "And you are afraid of meeting them, because you don't know what they could be?" I figured.
She hissed and fumed "I am not afraid!"
Cute.
"How long have you been talking?" I wondered, once more keeping my laughter under control.
She mumbled her reply over the edge of her cup, so I didn't catch it and asked for her to repeat it. It only made her face turn redder "A few months"
"… Is it a date?"
I swear I had never seen anyone look so red in my whole life. Even the time Tyson had almost chocked, he had turned to blue quite fast, before reaching this level of redness.
"It is not a date!" she shrieked, which she somehow did in love volume. I guess it's another of her talents "But he insists it is" she confessed finally, looking defeated and terribly embarrassed.
I wasn't sure if she was more interested into the book, or actually giving that stranger a chance.
"Do you want it to be?" I asked this as carefully as I could, making sure I looked serious, so she wouldn't assume I was making fun of her or criticizing her.
"I just want the book" she frowned, looking at the depths of her cup.
The silence stretched a bit, before I decided to continue the conversation, hoping my questions weren't tiring her. I was grateful she seemed quite accepting. Maybe the whole thing was quite new to her, and she could use some help.
"Have you arranged a meeting?"
"He gave me an address to his work place, and told me I could pass by if I wished"
That didn't sound too bad. If he indeed worked to the address he gave her, at least they could find his info in worst case scenario that anything happened to her. But let's not go there.
"Want me to come along?"
She perked up at this. One of the rare cases that you actually saw she was just a normal teenage girl underneath everything else. When she tried to hide how grateful she was for the suggestion, I had the decency to pretend I didn't notice.
"Don't you have anything better to do?" I felt a little mean wondering if it took great effort from her to show consideration.
"Not really. Also, I could really use some fresh air; I have had too much time indoors. Want to go once we are done here?"
She nodded and we silently continued our breakfast. The only other mentionable thing about that morning was the scare I got when the whole table bounced once Rick landed onto the seat beside me. My glass rolled over. Thankfully I had finished it, while Emily had been fast enough to casually lift hers.
Once we were done with breakfast, she escorted me to my room to get my wallet and mobile before we were off. Once more my mind started wandering what was going on with her head. Generally, she seemed to be a little out of her comfort zone. We turned left to the corridor heading to my room.
I stopped.
Again.
Being in the same position as yesterday, I only now remembered this. After the whole thing with Alan, I had forgotten the panic I had felt rising into this corridor. When I left my room earlier I didn't notice because it was behind me. Only now I figured that all these negative feelings, the rising heart rate, the cold sweat, the dry throat was directed to the door at the end of the corridor.
The glassed girl was looking at me, obviously seeing the occurrence of the night before happening again, this time without distraction.
"Max" she called. When I didn't respond, she placed her hand on my arm, being gentler that I would have thought possible for her.
I glanced at her and shook my head, trying to clear the fog and turned right to my room. I was done picking my things fast and we were back to the corridor in no time.
Mostly out of curiosity, I turned back to look at the door. The dread came over me once more "Emily, what's that room?" I finally asked, turning my back to the door, so I could calm myself.
"It's the lounge" she explained. There was no way she hadn't grasped my odd behavior. Bless her soul for the tactfulness to not ask.
"The lounge?"
"We rest there. It is like a more private restaurant I guess. With less food, and more casual… Do you want to see?"
NO! Nonononononononono!
I shook my head "Let's get going" I suggested, feeling lighter and lighter while getting away from that place. Once more Emily didn't question my decision.
We used public transportation upon my own request to not take the van or a taxi. I really needed to have people around me, just to remember how it was and even if we were in the middle of a busy town, the air felt fresh for me.
The girl hadn't protested much and hadn't snapped at me when I almost questioned her clothes choice. They weren't bad! They were fine but it was just her casual attire. Not what I would choose for a date, but she reminded me it wasn't a date.
Curiosity got the best out of me on the way, and I finally asked her how she had gotten in contact with the guy. It made so much more sense when she said beyblade was behind this. I was also intrigued to know she was keeping contact with Chief from there. She spoke with a lot of respect for him, and that, coming from her, meant a lot.
We walked the last part of the way, using Emily's mobile phone for navigator. She was doing a good work at looking cool, but the regular tag of her sleeves, or toying with the FMA strap hanging of her phone showed that she was actually quite stressed.
I found myself wanting to bring up another question, specifically if she ever had a date before but seeing as I had already tested the girl's limits today, I decided against it.
When our final destination came in sight, the redhead seemed quite relived.
"Do you know what he looks like?" I questioned, immediately regretting it when her face turned as bright as the sun, still somehow kept a calm expression.
"No"
"His name?" if possible, even brighter.
"No, just his alias…"
"That doesn't sound very helpful… Well it's a bookstore. No one is going to look at us funny for just entering to look, right?" I grinned. She returned a tiny grateful smile as we reached the doorstep of the shop.
A little bell rang upon our entrance, just after another customer had stepped out. The cashier perked up with interest, staring as we crossed the wooden floor toward the main part of the shop.
"Can I help?" he offered politely, looking at us more and more intense when he got a closer view of us. I wasn't paranoid enough to think 'he knows' but still, he kept his eyes on me for a little too long, before turning to the girl next to me. Where his gaze seemed to soften too.
Emily shifted uncomfortably, even if she was standing higher than him, since he was sitting behind the counter.
Since I came all this way to help, I decided to interfere "We are looking for a book. It is a limited edition from Japan" well, if he wasn't him, he would just point out they didn't have it.
"Are you Winry-chan?" he asked me, looking to enjoy this a little too much.
It was my turn to blush, figuring that Winry was Emily's nick-name. He didn't seem bothered to the possibility of Winry turning out to be a boy at all.
"It is Emily" huffed the redhead beside me, looking as uncomfortable as I felt.
The boy grinned brightly, rising to his feet "And I am glad for that" he walked around the counter and offered to shake Emily's hand, giving it a gentleman kiss once she did "I am enchanted to finally see you in person" It didn't seem like the girl's skin color would be allowed to go back to its normal pale for the day.
"No offence, you are cute too" he told me afterward, offering me his hand as well. In my case he just shook it politely. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to respond to that, so I just smiled. It hadn't been placed in any mocking way after all.
"You escorted her here, good. That's really considerate. We shouldn't let anyone hang out with shady guys"
All in all, he seemed like an ok guy at first glance. A little odd, but ok.
"Name's Rafael" he said, looking at Emily.
"I am Max" I figured it was only proper to introduce too.
"I know who you are. I watch TV too once in a while"
I tend to forget that we were actually famous. Lately we had much more important things to do than show up on TV. GOD I am so grateful I didn't show up on TV while in hospital. Good thing that at the moment we weren't such a hot topic and reporters had stopped tailing us. Usually, they started getting interesting again once we were going big, like world tournaments and things like that.
Also I was surrounded by people who already knew me, so it had also been a while since someone recognized me.
"I have seen you too" beamed the odd teen at Emily "I never thought I was talking with celebrities"
"I am not-"
"Yeah yeah, I know"
Emily rolled her eyes "The anthology?"
I grinned, recognizing her straight-forward behavior as it returned. I don't know what Rafael wanted from her, but he would get hell before getting it. Still, her harsh tone didn't seem to bother him. He continued smiling.
"Right, of course" he wandered a lithe further, checking through some shelves "Where did I put it…?" he thought loudly.
Emily and I exchanged a glance. I could have sworn she was waiting for my review on the boy. I chuckled and shrugged.
From the upper floor there was some shuffling and steps, so there was probably another worker here. Rafael proved my theory right upon calling out "Nicky! Could you check about that anthology I brought? I can't find it"
The shuffling paused for a moment only, before starting again. Not long after, the steps onto the wooden floor got louder, as a form made an appearance onto the inside balcony of the upper floor.
"It is not-"he started, only to stop upon meeting my gaze.
I wished someone would have slapped me then and there, because I must have been hallucinating. Or someone was playing a cruel joke on me.
Kai's POV
I had enough time to create some scenarios in my head and plan how I would deal with Max upon meeting him. Or maybe even how our encounter would happen, since I was planning on visiting him the day after. Well, generally brain has the tendency to make up scenarios. This wasn't in the list.
From what I gathered from his widened eyes, it wasn't in his list either. Actually he probably didn't even know I was in America to begin with, let alone in the area. So no wonder he looked like he had seen a ghost.
"Oh, it was right here" I heard my step brother say cheerfully, as he brought up the neatly wrapped book from under the counter "Silly me". I doubted either of the two newcomers realized how much satisfaction with himself was imported into that sentence.
"Kai! I thought you were in Japan" it was Emily. Never in my wildest dreams would have I realized that the date Rafael had mentioned had been with her. But alright, according to him, it had been like a blind date anyway. Maybe he was just as clueless and Max's appearance was indeed a coincidence. Heh. What a coincidence that was.
Max glanced at her, as if only now realizing that if she could see me too and he wasn't turning crazy. He shot me another hesitant glance before looking down. He breaking eye contact gave me the chance to turn and pace down the round staircase, to stand to the same level as them, like a normal person.
Emily looked a little lost, glancing between Max and me. If I wasn't too busy staring at the blond, I would have felt sorry for her being the only one completely left out of the situation, especially since she obviously figured she didn't catch something.
It wasn't long before Rafael had gotten her attention, which honestly seemed to be too easy when the book my brother had brought her was out of the box. It seemed like every other care in the world could be screwed for her, since that edition was in her reach.
The blond and I remained in our positions soundlessly. It was a real question how long we could stay like this. The lively conversation beside us, made the atmosphere less awkward and somehow Rafael and Emily seemed to forget that we were even in the room, miraculously missing the aura radiating from us. Finally, he offered to treat her coffee to the shop at the end of the street.
I vaguely recall her asking me if he could be trusted. I mechanically replied that he was trustworthy enough and if he turned out not to be, I would be right here with a refund. I didn't see her expression, since I refused to take my eyes from my teammate, but I saw Max's gaze rise a bit to meet hers. There must have been some silent exchange, which ended with him giving her a short nod, before the girl left with Rafael. The last sound that echoed into the room before it sunk into deep silence was the bell hanged on the door.
Said silence stretched more and more. I couldn't tell if the tension was getting bigger or stayed stable.
"I said three months" I broke the silence finally, getting straight to the point "I passed my morning trying to find where your mother resided now… I would have come by tomorrow"
The pair of blue eyes rose finally to look at me, saddened.
"You didn't need to" he replied finally, sounding too upset for anyone who had me fly across the world had the right to sound.
"Well I promised you… Wouldn't be decent to cross you twice now, right?" I wasn't being harsh, or at least I hoped I wasn't. Still I couldn't control the fact I felt wronged. He had just decided to up and go about the time I was supposed to make up for… Whatever I had done wrong. Which I wasn't sure what it was supposed to be anymore.
Seeing him standing there in front of me at the moment. Looking healthy and getting stronger. Slowly gaining the weight he had needlessly lost from his built, his hair having regained its old shine. Never before had I felt more certain that I had made the right choice back then.
Was I supposed to make up for missing his discharge? Fine.
"I already told you I was grateful for it" he spoke in a low voice.
"Yes you did. Right before you told me you didn't want me around you" he dropped his gaze again. I sighed and gathered my temper "I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday…"
I was starting to think he wouldn't reply, when the small voice was heard again "It's fine"
"Fine enough that you changed country" I growled.
"I needed a break" he muttered defensively.
"It couldn't wait one day?" I fumed before letting out a tired sigh, rubbing my temple "I… Really wanted to see that you were doing alright"
"I'm sorry" he whispered, face always out of my line of sight and stuck to the floor.
"Don't apologize, Max. Just explain" this time I wasn't demanding or even gave away any hint of anger. I just really wished to understand his line of thought, because the whole thing made so little sense that my head was hurting. And… "Why did you run away?" I watch him run from something all over again.
A defeated exhale left his lips and his forehead gently bumped onto my chest, coming to rest there.
I felt a wave of warmth overflowing from where we touched and spreading all over me. Any hint of anger, tension or whatever other negative feeling I had been carrying started draining away until they vanished. Just like that. Suddenly I was at ease.
"I regretted shoving you away…" he started. I remained silent, with my patience deposits renewed, giving him all the time he needed and making sure not to miss a word once he spoke. "I…" it all seemed to take effort to be put in words "When you didn't come… I was upset. Really upset. I- I understood later that you couldn't help it of course. If I blamed you for not making it, later I reasoned that it might not mean you didn't care. It might have just happened. I mean, things always happen. But it made me realize I should stop expecting you to come up… You are not obligated to. You have your own life and I can't expect to be part of it any minute I wish" he paused to breath and gather his thoughts. Once again I waited.
"At the hotel, where you took care of me… You were there most of the time, always coming to my aid, giving me so much of your time, attention and care… I don't know how much of a burden this was for you, but to me it was a gift" he let out a chuckle "I… Might have grown used to it. You were spoiling me, you know... So when you didn't appear, it downed to me that it wouldn't go back to that. It would be back to how it was before that. Not that I didn't enjoy our friendship, please don't get me wro-"
"Max" I finally interrupted. He glanced up at me "I understand… Go ahead" with a shy nod he reclaimed his previous position, in a slow and cautious pace. I think he was trying to read my posture and if the contact bothered me. Finally he relaxed and the warmth that had momentary lifted was back on my chest.
He sighed "I thought… Maybe if I saw you again the next day, I would start expecting and I didn't want that to happen. Neither did I want to make you uncomfortable, so… I decided to get away, hoping I could get over it, so once I would be back; everything would be back to normal. Like they always where" he snickered and gave me a tactful nudge with his head "So much for that"
I have lost count about how many times we had just let the silence stretch in one day, but you can say plus one.
While he had been opening up, I felt a lot of times the urge to interrupt and comment. Now that he was done I had no clue what to say.
I had never considered Max as a burden, especially when he had been in that vulnerable condition. It just seemed like the right thing to do to help out a friend in need and to be honest, I still felt quite responsible for his well being. It was actually one of the reasons why I kept visiting, regardless not being able to see him. Although unlike the blond, I never placed too much thought into my protectiveness and need to be certain he was ok, or if it would go away as time passed. If I had to consider it now… I doubted it would. The way I had been worrying about him the latest months, I couldn't imagine it stopping. It seemed foolish to deny that we had grown closer with what happened.
Although… I guess I might understand where his worries come from. Expecting things from someone is always risky. It's why I choose not to do it and mostly get whatever I want on my own.
My thoughts were interrupted when a small addition was added to a speech I had considered to have come to an end.
"I missed you…"
I am not good with words. Not speaking them anyway. I could be a little more effective while writing.
I passed my fingers through his locks carefully, before resting my lips there. A faint shudder went through the younger and there was a slight tug at the edge of my shirt. I figured he was holding on it.
"You are not helping your position, you know" I heard him report, in a more natural tone. He stepped back to face me, his cheeks showing a light pink color from the emotional load he had just gone through. Same color that possibly reached my face as he extended his remark "You know how I feel for you"
My expression must have given out something, because he breathed out and stared at me with deep disbelief, his shoulders and arms falling limb "Seriously?"
There are very limited times in my life where I felt stupid and just as few where I felt embarrassed or sheepish (second hand embarrassment aside). I don't remember even once before that moment where I was taken over by all three.
"We… Didn't exactly get the chance to talk about that" I explained. Max's face was getting redder and from the heat I felt, mine was probably in a similar condition.
"I kissed you!" he exclaimed.
"While running a high fever!" I objected.
"I was quite aware of what I was doing! Sure I wouldn't have done it without the fever, but still-"
"Well, how was I supposed to know that? I mean, I couldn't just assume"
"Assume? Assume!?" Max repeated, obviously unable to believe his ears "Assume. Oh my gosh" both his hands came to cover his -now as red as a poppy flower- face and he turned around, supposedly trying to find a hole to sink in. From behind I could see his ears were just as red, and possibly fuming.
"You weren't in any condition for me to take your actions in full consideration. Actually you weren't even in fully conscious and in control of them"
"Ugh… Please shut up. Allow me to hold on any remain of dignity I might have left" he grunted, the whole sentence muffled by his hands still covering his face.
With a sigh, my shoulders dropped. Once again I was left trying to gather up the… Misunderstanding? Mutual idiocity? Yep. Sounded legit.
"Max. Seriously now, think of all the things that happened. The whole mess you went through and the distance there was between us. I was a little busy worrying about your health or even if you would even treat me as a friend again. I didn't exactly have the luxury, space or mental stability to think of that too"
A couple of noises that reminded me a lot of sleeping puppy rolled at the back of the blonds' throat before he finally hissed and turned to face me. A few red lines were left on his cheeks from his fingers and they didn't make his attempt of glare any more threatening. Even without the noises he still looked like a puppy.
Huffing he mumbled "I guess you are right"
Well, from now on maybe I would get the chance to think of that as well, unless we spoke about this too.
"Want tea?" I offered after an awkward pause. Once he nodded I turned the 'Open' label back to 'Closed' and retreated to the little kitchen hidden at the back of the storage room at the bookstore.
The urban sounds seemed to have ceased to minimum, or maybe this deep into the library it was kept out. Judging by how many times in the past I had chosen to settle at this part of the store to read in peace, it made a lot of sense.
Max had curled up into one of the couches, with Elektra onto his lap, purring loudly and giving him her majesty's blessings with some nuzzles and licks. I rested beside him, enjoying my tea, while he had already drunk most of his. He had also nibbled part of the cake.
We had spent around half an hour in these positions and hadn't spoken. It was a lot like the days back to the hotel. It had the same soothing feeling, without awkwardness in the air. There was no doubt that there were things to be told but for the time being we reached a wordless agreement to take a break.
The couch was big enough for there to be more space between us, but when I came Max was sitting in the middle, and only one side had an armrest, so I parked there, even if it meant our hips were in contact. It didn't look like either of us was bothered by it, so I didn't even take notice of it until he started shifting to get a better hold of the cat.
"She is so cute. What's her name?" beamed the boy.
"Queen of Everything the light touches and Dark Ruler of All. But we call her Elektra"
He giggled melodically and went back to playing with her. I recalled Ray telling me he had seen him laughing lately. I was pleased to hear it myself.
"What are you doing here anyway?" he questioned afterwards, looking up at me, while Elektra seemed to have fallen into a deep royal slumber "Don't tell me you came all the way to America just for me" he smiled and motioned around, implying that I was too familiar with the shop.
"Well, you made it happen sooner" I replied, stretching my feet "My father lives here. He and his wife own the shop. I had planned coming over for a while, but had postponed it till you were out. When Ray told me you were off, I figured there was no point in me staying either" I shrugged and raised an eyebrow, eyeing him "Also I was a little stubborn onto holding my word to you"
Once more he blushed but it wasn't anything like the full fleshed embarrassment from before. In fact he was still smiling. I hadn't realized how much I had missed this sight.
"And Elektra is the familiar of the shop?" I was delighted that the conversation seemed to remain light hearted. We both needed it.
"No, she is mine. I brought her with me from Japan"
His lips formed an 'o' "Wow, that seems like a lot of fuss"
"Yep. Also she pays ticket and it is expensive too. If I wasn't rich I might be complaining" I slurped my tea soundly with caused him to laugh again and the feline to open an eye disapprovingly.
"How very humble of you" he commented grinning.
"I can't just turn it off"
"You are an idiot"
"What does that say about your taste?"
His cheeks rosined up again and he gave me a pathetic hit on the shoulder. Once more I was glad that the mention of a touchy subject didn't really affect the mood.
"Don't tease me about this please" he whined.
"Sorry. It just doesn't make much sense"
"What doesn't?" curiosity was made to fit those wide eyeballs. It made them look even wider.
"You… Your feelings, I guess?" it seemed a little risky to open this conversation, but it seemed to continue casually and light headedly, so I didn't bother to fret without a reason.
Max on the other hand looked troubled "Because I'm…?"
"No, because you know me"
He frowned "I never thought you had low self esteem"
"I am not" I really don't have low self esteem. But as I have already explained "It is just different having people after me because of my fame or looks. No, don't take this look, I am not vain. But- You know what I mean"
He broke down laughing and Elektra decided she had been bothered enough and jumped off, raising her tail and walking away.
"Oh my god, your face…" he wiped the corners of his eyes and straightened up, trying to get serious once more while I rolled my eyes "Ok ok, I am good. I understand, go on"
"Well, anyway, unlike them, you have lived with me. You know I am not exactly boyfriend material"
He blinked and stared as if waiting for the punch line. Once it didn't come, he seemed thoughtful.
"Could you be a little more specific? I think I lost you."
I shrugged "Shady company, bad attitude, bossing around, like every tree I stand alone and stuff? And these kind of things"
"I don't mean to shake your reality or burst your bubble, but 'considerate, caring and responsible' sort of overshadow most of the things you pointed out… Not to mention you have toned most of these down ever since you teamed up with us. They are more of a side character traits that your main core"
Even Ray told me I was too harsh sometimes. No matter his condition I still pressured Tyson to work around. I never stopped bossing and neither did I stick to the team. Sure, I wasn't like before, but those things hadn't been as toned down as Max seemed to think. Maybe he forgot at the last months or just didn't notice because they were never directed at him.
The bell of the front door rang
Rafael and Emily were back. Max and I broke the eye contact that had lasted the last couple of minutes and rose to meet them. From what I gathered the 'date' had gone well because they were planning to meet again while he was seeing her off. Max got ready to escort her back. It only now downed to me that it was evening already when we all stepped onto the sidewalk to part. The pair was talking lively a few steps further from the blond and me. As odd as it seemed, they looked good together, even if I could already imagine it ending with Emily kicking him to the next life.
"I take it you like it?"
I blinked and glanced at the blond to see he was referring to me. He pointed at his own neck and I remembered I was wearing the pendant he offered me.
"Yeah, thank you" he grinned again. Maybe he was feeling a weight having lifted from his shoulders, just like I did "Did you read the book I gave you?"
"Yes! Many times. It is amazing, I love it"
Perfect.
"Um… Mind if I pass by again? J-Just to hang out… I had a good time today" he said shyly.
I allowed myself a small smile as a reward "Anytime you wish. If you don't find me here, hit the Hiwatari doorbell next door"
If possible his grin grew wider.
"Shall we go?" Emily stepped close, tactfully keeping her eyes collected in one place. Unlike Rafael who was enthusiastically glancing between me and Max.
"Yep. Let's" cheered the boy and they both gave a small bow. Max because it was a habit from Japan, and Emily as a return to Rafael's. Then they were off, already opening a conversation before they turned the corner.
Whatever Saint or God instructed Rafael to not make any comments rises to the pantheon of my new Cosmo-theory.
During that evening there had been a chanting at the back of my brain. I couldn't remember who it was, or make out what it was saying. Finally when I was in bed it started clearing up and making sense. I recognized bits of Noah's speech about how things felt different if someone was special to you.
Rolling to my side I tried to replace Max of the happenings in this evening with Ray, Tyson and Hilary. In fact, I tried a few more applicants. Each one felt different. Some more and some less awkward. I never noticed how Max had been my exception in many things. Seeing it all the way back, before the drugs issue it wasn't as obvious, but I guess whatever soft spot had been offered to him without my notice had grown by time. Specifically our time together.
I kept tossing and turning for hours, until I managed to convince my brain to shut off and sleep. It had just kept trying to replay this day with different casting. I realized all too soon that it was pointless.
With none other did it come natural.
And with none other did it feel right.
/TBC/
I have the laptop. This was written to the laptop.
Reviews are greatly appreciated and a real joy, especially since I have not been in my best of moods lately.
Thank you for reading!
Also Thanks to: Anyone who keeps up and anyone who started reading now. You are wonderful. Thank you.
Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki