I don't really know when I first started to fall for Newt, or why. Teresa had always teased me as a kid about never showing anyone affection. It didn't bother me all that much until I noticed the boys around me talking about it in September each year.

"You guys will not believe what I did this summer guys!" Was Minho's greeting when we were thirteen. He hadn't grown much over the summer, and looked like a dork, but we all did at that age.

"Let me guess, won the American football champions." Newt teased.

"I made out with one of the cheerleaders, she's in grade 10 this year. Practically begged for me to go on a date." He said proudly.

"Took you long enough, I got that milestone over with when I was eleven." Alby replied. It was hard to picture Alby kissing anyone, he seemed far too mature for that.

"No way. Proof." Minho countered. While Alby took out his phone, most likely to show Alby a picture as proof, I slipped out of the room.

Newt wasn't getting there until the next afternoon because his plane got delayed, so I had the room to myself. It was the first night since sharing a room with him that he had been away. It didn't seem right with him away, the room half blank.

I wanted to leave the conversation before I had to get involved. I didn't have my first kiss yet, and did not want to admit to that anytime soon. I guess up until then I didn't get that it made any difference. The year before, up until the following winter this was all the boys talked about. I always left early, and Newt was soon to follow.

That Halloween I was in the woods with Teresa again. It was the last year we went out looking for spirits together. It was quiet, but peaceful. Her arms were covered even in the warmth of the evening.

"Something is on your mind." She said. "I know it's bothering you."

She was prompting me to tell her, but I speak. I knew what was bothering me, it was my friends. Always laughing and talking about how cute girls are, making jokes about who to date. I didn't get what the big deal is. I guess it was peer pressure that made me do what I told Teresa.

"Every one of the boys has had their first kiss by now. They always talk about how hot the girls are, but I can't relate to what they are saying."

"You're telling me, that you, the amazing soccer player, Tom, has not kissed a single girl." She playfully grinned and took a step forward.

My first instinct was to step back, but I remained still. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter, as thoughts whipped through my mine.

"Do you want to change that?" Her face only an inch from mine, everything was still. Even the wind paused in that moment to see what would happen.

"I want to fit in. I guess that means so." I whispered, not sure if I was making the right choice.

Teresa put her arms around my neck and lean in closer. Slowly she closed her eyes and pressed her lips hard against mine. I kissed back, eyes wide open.

There was no amazement, no special thing the boys had always talked about. Somehow this left me more in the dark than before.

Eventually Teresa pulled away. "Did you like that?" Her cheeks were slightly flushed.

"I guess… I don't really know." Her face fell at my words. I had hurt her which was far from what I wanted. It was a stupid idea to let her kiss me.

The bell rung, signalling curfew was in 30 minutes. "I-I need to go." Teresa hurried away.

Then I was alone in the trees alone and more confused then I had been before. I walked back to the dorm room in silence. Even when reaching the dorms and did not speak to anyone. I didn't see Teresa at all for the next two weeks.

It was around Christmas that year when I finally realized how much Newt meant to me. I didn't want to be without him for the two weeks of break. I didn't want any of my friends to leave but Newt was different. I couldn't understand why I was so jealous of everyone being around him.

"You okay Tommy?" Newt asked me as he was packing some things to bring home. He would be leaving the next day.

"Yeah. I'm fine, just thinking." I said casually. He looked over and smiled. He was so cute and funny and kind, and… I realized why I was so upset about him leaving. "And I don't want you to leave." I said it without thinking.

Newt stopped packing and sat down next to me on my bed. "I'll be back in two weeks. I'll miss you too." He didn't get it, it wasn't the same feelings.

I leaned closer to him resting my head on his shoulder. It was a common thing to do, but this felt different. It felt righter than before. His head fell onto mine.

Eventually Newt broke the peaceful silence. "I feel like there's something more to you missing me."

Fear ran through me and I looked him in the eyes. I couldn't find any hint of jokiness on his face. "I don't know what you mean."

"Really? Even with Minho teasing us about always being together. I hope you figured it out by now."

"Figured out what?" Newt was confusing me. I hated this moment of weakness and not knowing what would happen.

"I may as well give you a hint before I leave, but it has to do with the minor fact I have a major crush on my roommate." He was looking away from me, almost as if he were ashamed to admit that to me.

"Me?" I tried to hide my excitement, but the pitch of my voice gave me away.

He turned to face me, cheeks scarlet red. "Who else? I hope this doesn't make things weird." He looked to the floor again.

I didn't know what to think. I had only just realized that maybe I liked him too, but I had never liked a boy before. It felt better than the way Teresa made me feel on Halloween, and different from the rest of the boys I talked to. In the end I knew there was only one way to know for sure if I liked him.

I put my hand to his face, and slowly lifted it up to face me. I smiled, and Newt mimicked the gesture. He leaned a bit closer to me, and unlike with Teresa, I wanted to lean in more. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips onto his.

Suddenly what my friends had been saying about girls made sense, everything came together. When I looked back at Newt, he was smiling. We were both happy, and this moment had changed our lives.

"You're really cute, Tommy. By any chance are you single?" Newt asked knowing full well I had never dated anyone. He was the only person I admitted that to.

"I hope not after tonight." I laughed. From that day forward I wasn't single, I had Newt always by my side… apart from while he was away for Christmas in England.