14-Impossibilty
The first day of school came quicker than I thought it would. The night before the fifth I hunt extra for good measure. I'd been panicking since then. My hand was tapping against my desk all night. It was so fast and hard that I had to keep fixing the dents.
When we left the house, Kai was next to me the entire time. We walked to the end of the street for the bus.
It was cloudy that day, so I'd be okay. I still wore long pants and a sweatshirt. I hope no one thinks I'm crazy. You know, wearing clothes meant for cool weather in 85° heat. But, I honestly don't care.
"You'll be fine. Just... put your focus on something else."
"And how do you expect me to do that?"
"I don't know, I don't have your head."
We were the only ones at the bus stop, but people will show up any moment now. My throat isn't burning yet, but I know it'll happen soon.
I hear people approaching and I turn my head.
"Relax. Nothing is going to happen." He reassured me. Well, tried to. Three people came together. They're new to the neighborhood.
"Hi," The oldest one said after a minute. She was tall with dark, curly hair. "I'm Maddy. Are you guys new to the neighborhood? I haven't seen you around."
"I'm Malachi, this is my sister Maya. We've lived here for years, but we moved to Washington state for a while." I didn't want to move because I didn't know what would happen.
"A chorus of "M" s. This is my sister Lilly and our friend Alexa." They both waved. I stay the same. Maddy's smile faded slightly. She must think I'm crazy. "I hope we can be friends." She said to the both of us but I can tell she was indicating towards Kai.
"Sorry about Maya, she's very shy." That's a good way to sum it up. "We're twins."
"That's cool. What teams are you on?"
"We're both on 8-2, Ms. Simmons home room."
"What a coincidence, me too. They're both in sixth grade." She said turning towards Lilly and Alexa. The bus arrives. It's just the five of us there. "See you there." She walks on the bus. Her sister and friend follow. We get on last. The three of them sit in the front while Kai and I head for the back. We sit in seat 17. Fortunately, we were the first stop so we get first pick at seats. I'm at the window, Kai at the aisle.
"She seems nice." Kai said.
"She seems like she was flirting with you."
"No one flirts in the eighth grade. No one knows how to flirt in the eighth grade."
"She knows how." As more people get on the bus, the more conscious I am. By the last stop, every seat is filled and everyone is in their own conversation. My leg starts shaking anxiously.
After a few seconds Kai talks quietly. "Maya, your shaking your leg."
"So? I'm nervous." He leaned in towards my ear. Not for my benefit, but so that others don't hear.
"If anyone saw your leg, they'd know something was up." I didn't even realize that my leg was shaking faster than any human could comprehend.
"Thanks." I slow my leg down to a stop and put my arm on it. My throat is seriously burning. "It's gonna be a long day." We sit in silence the rest of the way.
When we arrive at the school, I'm reluctant to stand up.
"Do you want me to hold your hand?" He asked me like I was in kindergarten.
"I don't feel like breaking you today." I say standing up slowly. He turned around and started down the aisle. I follow.
As we walk into the school he whispered under his breath so only I can hear. "You'll be fine. Nothing's going to happen."
We know where our home room is because we've been going to this school for three years. As we walk in the classroom, I'm slightly relieved. We're the only ones here. Other than Ms. Simmons, who greets us at the door.
"Hi, welcome back. The seats are set alphabetically, what are your names?"
"I'm Malachi Stevens, this is Maya."
"You guys are twins, right?"
"Yes, ma'am." Kai continued. I have a straight face, trying not to make eye contact.
"I hope you'll like it in my class. This is my first-year teaching, so I'm just as nervous as you are." Hate to break it to you, but you cannot be more wrong. I can tell that's she was saying that to me even though she was talking to both of us.
Without turning around, I realize that Maddy has arrived.
"Great, Miss Flirty is back." I say under my breath.
He turns and sees her. "Calm down. It's no big deal."
"Easy for you to say." I say staring forward with my arms crossed. "Come on, we have to go find our lockers." I say standing up and pulling at his sleeve. As we walk pass Maddy she smiles at Kai.
"Hey, Malachi. Maya." She said my name with less enthusiasm. I roll my eyes and wish that I could will him to come on. I nudge his shoulder and he follows.
"I don't like her. Not at all." I say when we find our lockers. There are a lot of people at this point.
"Maya, you don't even know her."
"I know, but I just don't get a good vibe from her."
"Do you mean that, or are you just saying that?"
"I mean it." I say shortly. "I have a weird feeling in my gut when she's around. Something bad is going to happen with her."
"Okay." He said matter-of-factly. We unpacked our things in our lockers and headed back to home room. I see a few familiar faces in the room. Just some acquaintances from years prior. Kai and I compare our schedules and are in all of the same classes.
"How did we get lucky?" I ask him. With Kai in all of my classes, there is a lesser chance of me freaking out. We start with history, then to algebra. We have gym afterwards, with a free period following. Lunch is fifth, sixth being science. The last period of the day is reserved for language arts. For eighth grade, the schedule is very similar to a high school's.
"I may or may not have called the guidance office before school requesting to be in the same classes as you." I internally smile, but I don't let him see that.
"Kai, you didn't have to do that. I would be fine without you."
"Would you?" No, I wouldn't. I stay silent and we wait for the day to start.
By the time the room is full, the entire school is too. My throat is on fire, but not enough to lose control. Which will not happen.
When the bell rings, we stand. In my human life I would take a deep breath, but that isn't a good idea anymore. Instead I hold my breath and walk closely with Kai.
I stare at the ground and let my hair fall down my shoulders. I continue to hold my breath, but it doesn't do much. I haven't been in this much human contact since I was one. All I feel is flame. I'm definitely not ready for this. But I'll make it work. Hopefully.
I make sure that no one bumps into me. A) So, I don't kill them. B) So, they don't feel like they ran into a wall.
When we get to Mr. Greene's, everyone is standing around the room. Mr. Greene was standing in the front of the room taking attendance. Towards the end of the list, Malachi's name was called.
"Here." He said raising his hand. I know I'm next and I internally prepare for movement.
"Maya Stevens." All I do is raise my hand. I say nothing. He looks up from his clipboard questioningly. He sees my hand. "In the future, I'd appreciate it if you'd say something Miss Stevens."
"Here." I say meekly. I know I'm the only one who hears it. I know this teacher is going to be the one to push me off the edge.
As he went down the rest of the list, I'm already done with today. My thirst mixed with my anger is something I have yet to experience. But I know that it is not pretty.
I want to take a breath but I know that if I do someone would be killed. I'm starting to regret my decision of leaving the Cullen's. I'm still technically a new-born whose thirst is at a tipping point. I'm just not ready. But it was my decision, I have to deal with the consequences.
On the first day of school, all of the seating arrangements are alphabetical. His room is arranged in eight tables of four desks. Once everyone is seated, seven of them are filled. Kai and I sit with a guy named Nate whom I recognize from sixth grade, and another guy named Joey. I keep my head down while Mr. Greene goes over class expectations and other stuff like that. I'm listening, but I still look down.
"Miss Stevens. Are you paying attention?" I look up subtly and nod.
"Yes, sir. Sorry." I speak quietly. But I know he can hear me.
I'm now facing forward, but my eyes are still down. I can't stand to look at people's faces, or any of them for that matter. If I see the blood in their veins, or pay attention to their heartbeats, who knows what will happen.
50 minutes later, I celebrate the fact that I don't need to see him again for 24 hours. Kai and I walk to algebra. After torture, I get to go the best class of the day. Math and science are probably my second favorite things. Next to Harry Potter of course.
"How you doing?" Kai asked me.
"Slit my throat, do it right now, I beg you."
"That wouldn't do much." He said slowly. He had a serious tone, but it came off funny.
"You know what I mean. I wish it was dark by the time we get home." By which I mean hunting.
"We aren't that lucky." It's great how comfortable Kai is with all of this. He talks to me as if he's dealt with this himself. Like he is centuries years old. He just gets it. My parents on the other hand, they treat me differently than before.
"But, hey. We're going to math. Your favorite."
I give a small, crooked smile. "Yeah." We walk in. Mrs. Frye is already putting people in seats.
Our luck is officially up. The seats are random, meaning that Kai and I are to be separated. I look at him vaguely as she calls his name and points to his desk. I'm at the next table. I'm very uncomfortable that I'm not with him. He's within eye shot, but now that I'm around people that I'm not as familiar with, the thirst is much more prominent.
It's hard to focus, but I'm listening to every repeated word from Greene's room. The hour passes slowly, and the burning gradually grows.
By the end of class, I'm on fire. I'm surprised I've held out this long.
We leave Frye's room and head towards the gym. We go through the same routine in every class. The same rules, paraphrasing each other's words.
Kai and I have had the same gym teacher all three years. Mr. Spencer knows just about all of us. He kind of sped through the rules because he knows that we're sick of it by now.
For our free period, Kai and I sit by our lockers and just talk.
"Let me guess." He says, I look at him. "Today's been a disaster?"
"100%. I'm really surprised with myself."
"I'm proud of you."
"Thanks?" I say. "That's not something one usually gets from their brother." He laughs, I don't.
"Oh, come on. That was funny."
"Nope, not risking it."
"Okay, fine." He pauses. "Have you taken a breath this entire day?" He asks quietly.
"Nope." Not risking it.
"You're regretting this aren't you?"
"Superlatively." I say.
"You know I don't understand when you use big words." Kai said turning his head to me.
"Yes." I pause momentarily. "How did I think I could do this?" I whisper now. "I'm barely ten months and I'm in a school with 1200 distinctly different humans. You're the only person I can be in contact with without being terrified. I'm still terrified."
"You wanna wait a year?"
"Try a century." Seriously though. "I don't know how they do it."
"I don't know either." He subtly lifts his arm. "Permission to put my arm around you."
"Permission granted." He proceeds and I shudder and he stops.
"Bad idea." He said.
"Really bad idea."
"If we were alone you'd run."
"If we were alone, there'd be no need."
We sat there until lunch talking about random things that don't even matter. When lunch came, I get really nervous.
In years past, you get in trouble if you don't eat. They think you're anorexic or whatever. I don't eat period.
We find a deserted table. I sit on the very end of the row, Kai across from me. Suddenly, trouble arises.
"Little Miss Flirty's back. Perfect."
"Stop saying that, she's fine."
"I'm telling you something bad is going to happen."
"You don't know that."
"Neither do you." I say as she sits down next to him.
"You two sure are close, aren't you? I haven't seen you apart all day." She said. I continue not to make eye contact.
"Yeah, we're each other's best friends." They both had a packed lunch with them. I, obviously, had nothing.
"So, we're having a back to school party this weekend. You guys are welcome to come. We're inviting all of our friends. Everyone is sleeping over." She said. She called us her friends. She's know us for three hours.
"Sounds great. We'll be there." Are you kidding me Kai?
"Are you, er, not gonna eat anything?" She asked, gesturing to me.
I look up slightly and say the first (and which I hope are the last) words to her. "No." I stand up.
"Where you going?" Kai asked.
"Bathroom." I say as I walk away. I'm obviously going to be listening to them.
The bathroom is empty and I pace across the floor.
"Is she okay?" Maddy asked. And no. No, I'm not.
"She's fine, she just... isn't good with people." That's one way to put it.
"So, it's not a me thing?"
"Probably not." Yeah, we'll see.
"If you don't mind me asking, is there anything... you know..." Just stop talking, please. "Wrong with her?" Just stop talking.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.
"Is there a reason she's this shy? 'Cause, I know human nature, and people aren't generally this... averted to people." Well, I'm not human so...
"Isn't there a reason for everyone? There's always a reason."
"Yeah, what's hers?" Don't blow this.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"So, there is a reason."
"Just, drop it, Maddy." Okay, dangerous territory, I'm coming back.
When I sit back down, she pretends like nothing happened. I look Kai dead in the eye to let him know that I was listening intently.
"So, you'll look at him, but not at me?" I look down again, I can't bear to look at anyone right now.
"That would be correct." Fine, not the last words.
"Why?"
"I'm not good with people."
"So, Malachi says. Care to elaborate?"
"Not particularly." Kai. Help.
"Let me warn you now Maddy. Stop here. She is very strong-willed and you'll never get this out of her. She is very sensitive about this topic. She will claw your eyes out if you keep bringing it up. So, stop here. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200." She looks puzzled. "What, you've never played Monopoly?"
"Sorry, no. I gotta go." She says and gets up. Something in me is relieved.
"Thanks for that."
"What else was I supposed to do? Just say "yeah, she's not good with people because she wants to eat them"? No. I wouldn't sell you out."
"Thanks. Also, say that at little louder, would you?" I pause. "Why did you agree with the party?"
"Because, parties are fun. Also, you need to get to know her. This is a great opportunity to make friends."
"What am I supposed to do all night? Just wait in silence?"
"Just... go hunting?"
"What if someone realizes I'm gone? Or her parents wake up in the middle of the night and check on us?"
"I'll cover for you."
"I'll figure it out."
"Your saying you'll go?"
"It must mean a lot to you if you start babbling."
The rest of the day went exactly the same. Me terrified, and Kai my mouth piece. Maddy was in all of our afternoon classes which drove me crazy.
She walked home with Lilly and Alexa, Kai and I walking about ten feet in front of them.
"What are you thinking about?" Kai asked me.
"I'm dead. I'm actually dead."
"I know. You have been for almost a year."
"I will kill you."
"I know you will."
"Just, stop talking." I say. When we get home, Mom asked us how our day was. Mainly to me.
"Great." Kai said.
"Horrible." I say. I walk upstairs and lay on my bed. I have an urge to break something. Or kill something. I don't know, but I can't believe I have to do this again for eternity.