Warning: there will be some smut in this chapter so if you're not into these things, stop reading after the first horizontal line :) You can continue with the third part of the chapter, is quite safe.

13.

Originally I didn't want to wait until next weekend to talk to Severus about that night but I didn't want to do it between two busy weekdays. I had a lot of things to do, the students were totally crazy and in the evenings I didn't have the energy to deal with this whole thing. Finally, Friday arrived and at dinner, I turned to Severus. He was picking on his food, not eating too much. When I started to talk, he to me, he was looking down on his plate.

"Are you free tonight?"

"I have detention with a 6th year Griffindor. He has to clean the cauldrons in the Potions class room."

"But you're not the Potions professor anymore."

"Excellent observation nevertheless I can't give proper tasks for detention in DADA and Professor Slughorn is very happy that the cauldrons will be cleaned with expertise."

"In the muggle way?"

"Obviously."

"I thought, we could talk tonight…"

I turned back to my plate when I heard his voice again.

"Detention will be over at 10. No matter what."

After dinner, I took a walk outside, even it was very cold. I needed some fresh air after the busy week. Hagrid noticed me and invited me over for some tea. Well, it tasted more like mud but we had a very nice talk about the pre-war Hogwarts. I didn't notice the time so it was after 9 when I headed back to the castle. I took a shower and changed to a black skinny jeans and a simple royal blue shirt. I opened a bottle of rosé wine and waited for Severus.

A few minutes after ten a silvery doe appeared in front of me. I smiled a little and with a wandless silent spell opened the entrance in the corridor. I stood up and opened the door to my living room. I let Severus in, closed the door and immediately took a step closer and kissed him fiercely on his mouth.

"I missed this", I whispered to him.

He chuckled but didn't answer.

"This week was so horrible. I don't know what is with the students."

"Hormones", hissed Snape and took off his cloak and frock coat. I loved seeing him in his white button down shirt.

"Wine, Severus?"

"Why, Professor Holló, are you planning to make me drunk?" His voice was playful and relaxed.

"Who knows, Professor Snape, who knows…" I winked at him and gave him a glass of wine.

We sat down on the couch and for a few minutes just sipped our drinks and looked at the flames in the fire place. It was nice but that wasn't the purpose of this night. Well, not the only purpose. I put down my glass and turned to Severus. When he noticed this, he put down his glass too and although he leaned back on the couch, his body was stiff.

"I think you know why I invited you here."

He nodded.

"Before getting to the unpleasant part of the conversation I want to assure you that I didn't change my mind. I don't know if we are dating now or what is this thing between us but I want to know how far it can go. I… I really like you, Severus and I am attracted to you. Very much. But before taking this further we have to do this."

"I know", he whispered.

"So…" I took a deep breath. "Your patronus, the doe, is like Lily Potter's."

"Lily Evans, and yes."

"Are you in love with her?"

He waited only a few seconds before answering but it seemed hours to me.

"Throughout the significant part of my life, I was in love with Lily or at least I thought I was. I mentioned this to you in the Astronomy Tower." I nodded even though he couldn't see it, he was watching the flames. "Meanwhile she could never forgive that I called her… mudblood. She was friends with that arrogant James Potter and later she fell in love with him. I was angry and sad, so I was cruel to her – like children do. I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. I had a very difficult childhood and she was my only friend. When she left me, I was disappointed and lonely. The only person that I loved, left me."

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and after opening his eyes again, he continued.

"When I was in the Shrieking Shack after Nagini attacked me, I asked Potter to look at me. He has his mother's eyes and I wanted to be it to be the last thing I see in my life. I was prepared for Nagini's attack, after she wanted to kill Arthur Weasley. I made an anti-venom and I took it regurarly. However in the last few days before the last battle the situation was so chaotic, I forgot to take it and I was sure that my body wasn't immune. When I thought I was dying, I was at peace. I already lost my chance to have a happy life so I was willing to let it go finding some peace in afterlife. Waking up in 's was shocking. I was angry because I missed the opportunity to meet Lily again. I made so many horrible things and so many people had to die because of the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters that I felt ashamed. Even if they didn't want to put me in Azkaban it took me months to realize that for the first time in my life, I'm free. I don't have masters anymore who tell me what to do and I did what I promised, I protected Lily's child. This was right before our first meeting."

"And how do you feel about her now?", I asked him uncertainly.

"I will always love her in a way. I can't and won't do anything about it."

I felt my heart tightening.

"I see", I croaked and tried not to cry.

"But" surprisingly he took my hand in his. He didn't look at me, he was watching our hands. "I don't want to spend my life cherishing her memory. Minerva told me over and over again that I got a chance to start over my life and she was right. Now, I have to find out what do I want to do."

"Do you have some ideas?"

"I was thinking to give up teaching and open an apothecary."

"That sounds nice."

"Before that I… I have to get used to having a private life." He smiled a little.

I squeezed his hand.

"There's no hurry. Take your time."

He finally looked at me. His face was much more relaxed, almost, almost happy.

"Isn't it urgent for you?"

"Of course not. We can take one step at a time." I scooted closer to him.

"And what would be the next step?"

"Hmm… some more wine!"

After finishing the bottle of wine, we were totally relaxed and a bit tipsy. I've never seen Severus so calm before. He laughed a few times with his eyes twinkling. I started to feel aroused so I really hoped this was the night when we are finally doing the deed. I looked at him in the eyes and I saw it: he was just as aroused as I am.

"So…" his voice was deep and unbelievably sexy. "we finished the wine. Where are we going from this point?"

"Well, Severus, I was thinking…" I didn't finished the sentence, instead I put my arms around his neck, pulled him closer and kissed him. We made out for a few minutes.

"I don't want to complain Anna but we already did this before. What's the new part?"

"This" and with that I stood up and sit down in his lap with my legs around his waist. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer.

"I see. Go on." His voice was husky.

I kissed him again but didn't put my arms around his neck, instead I started to unbutton his shirt. His hands were under my shirt caressing my back. While unbuttoning his shirt I pushed my hips forward and I could feel erection. Good. I pushed down the shirt from his shoulders and threw it away. He made the same with my shirt and my bra. He pulled back and looked at my breasts.

"So, what do you think, Severus?"

"Hmm… I want to do the next step."

"Go on."

Suddenly he grabbed my ass, stood up and brought me in my bedroom. He put me down on the bed and unbuttoned my jeans while I lit some candles with wandless magic. He wanted to pull down my jeans but since it was the skinny kind, it was quite tight. Snape got frustrated.

"What kind of trousers are these? How are you able to take it off?"

"Severus, dear, did you forget that you are wizard?"

"I'm an idiot." With a wave of his hand my jeans flew off of my legs.

"Impressive."

He was only in his boxers now, black silk, of course.

"Oh, this is nothing, my dear, nothing." He kissed me passionately and pushed back my torso so I was lying on my back with my legs on the edge of the bed. Severus kissed my neck, my collarbone and lingered for long minutes at my breasts. I started to feel frustrated so I wanted to push him lower or pull him higher when he moved towards my stomach. He murmured a contraceptive charm before spreading my legs and moving between them. I quickly put on some silencing charms. It was a very clever idea because when I felt Severus' tongue on my clip, I knew that I will be screaming with ecstasy in a short time. My right hand was in Severus' hair, the other one grasping the sheets. I was right with the sreaming – I've never had such a powerful orgasm before. I could feel Severus lapping my juices while I tried to control my breath.

"Oh my God" was the only thing I could say.

"Not exactly but close enough" he said with a smug smile.

"Oh, someone is very self-confident. Come here."

I scooted to the centre of the bed and Severus followed me. He was now naked and I could see he was very well endowed. He kissed me, I reached down between us and grabbed his penis. He groaned in my mouth but didn't break the kiss. I moved my hand up and down on his member, occasionally caressing his balls. He pulled back from the kiss and was breathing fast and groaning. Finally he couldn't take it anymore, gently pulled back my hand from his cock and with a swift move pushed it in my hole. I gasped when I felt his length and I needed some time to adjust but Severus was patient. When I was ready, I nodded and he stared to move. I put my legs around him and pulled him as close as I could. My left arm was around his shoulder and with my right hand I grabbed his sturdy ass. He lifted my torso a little to put his arms around me. I threw back my head while his was kissing my neck. His pace got faster and faster, the room was filled with the voice of our bodies smacking together and the incoherent sounds which came from our mouths. Crying out each other's names we cum almost at the same time. Our bodies were drenched with sweat. Severus plopped down next to me, breathing hard. I put my arm around his torso while he drew circles on my back with his long slender fingers.

"We should have done this earlier" I murmured in this chest.

He chuckled.

"Maybe. But it was worth the wait."

"So, what now, Severus?"

"I don't know. I don't have too much experience in this."

"In sex? I think you have."

"You are right and also I am a natural talent in it but I meant relationships."

"I'm not an expert either."

"I won't be holding hands with you in front of students."

"This is self-evident. It would shock our colleagues."

"Now that you put it this way…"

"And it would shock the students, too. Mostly the girls."

"Why the girls?"

"I'm sure there are girls among the students who have a crush on you. And maybe boys, too."

"A crush on me? I don't have a looks for it."

"You are a war hero. You have an authoritarian character which can be very attractive. And your deep black eyes and most of all, your amazingly hot voice. I'm sure you got some love letters from students during the years."

He didn't say anything. I looked at his face and he was stern. I started to laugh.

"I knew it! Do you still have them? Did they sign it?"

"No, there were anonymous and I threw the letters away." He was really upset. It amused me very much. "Reading those letters made me very uncomfortable. Let's forget about it forever."

I kissed him to console him.

"Sorry, I will never mention it again."

"It is alright. I admit it is a funny situation if you are an observer." He cleared his throat and pulled me closer, looking in my eyes. "However you mentioned something which caught my attention."

I raised my eyebrows.

"I did?"

"You said that my voice is amazingly hot."

"Oh, yes. It is. You have no idea."

He moved his mouth to my ear.

"Does it turn you on?"

"Yes…"

"Does it matter what I say?"

"No…" How can I be so turned on after having two fantastic orgasms 20 minutes ago? "It can be like what you say to the students in the class."

"Mmm… Like '20 points from Gryffindor?'" One of his hands was on my waist and the other one was alternating caressing my breasts and my labia.

"Oh, yes…"

"And what do you think about 'There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class'?"

"Please, do not stop…" I was now quivering.

"Page. Three. Hundred. And. Ninety. Four."

We didn't leave my quarters that night.

Phew, that was a long chapter, it was very challenging to write. Let me know if you liked it!