Hello everyone, I know this isn't what you were expecting because I haven't wrote anything in a really long time and it's because I've just been in a really bad spot. I want to be real with everyone who is reading this...so my name is Teresa (not going to say my last name for personal reasons). I'm 16 years old now and m home schooled. Anyways I want to get to the point of this I want to ask all of you what is love to you? Is love something you would do anything for? What would you do for love?Love is something special that can come into person life and make it better or worse for me it was both. My boyfriend that I suppose to write about in the next chapter I just dump this morning and right now I'm just having the hardest time answering those questions along with others. I know I'm 16 but I act like I'm much older and that was the problem for me. I was in a relationship for almost 2 years and I just gave that up for some other guy I met. I'm not going to say their real names but replace them with fake ones, Ash was my boyfriend I loved for almost two years and he made me happy and laugh. My parents found out our relationship and didn't want him in my life, so what did I do? Any other teenage would do just run away from the problem and not trying to fix it. By that I mean I was going to actually run away with him because I loved him and etc. but way deep down inside me I knew that was wrong and I was making a big mistake but I ignore that feeling and dated him behind my family's back. After my family found out Ash him and I fought and fought and fought. It got to the point where it was a miracle that we could last a day or two without getting into a fight and there was many times that I almost walked out on him but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that deep inside that was unhealthy that I kept going through a roller coaster of feeling sad one minute then happy the next but once again I ignore the feeling. It wasn't until recently that I realize more that this kind of relationship wasn't right...I realized it from a guy. One day last week I met a guy on video chat on omegle, I was only on there because Ash and I were having another fight and I just really wanted comfort to just to talk to someone. The guy's name was Scott and he made me felt really good about myself and I haven't felt that good in a very long time. I thought about Scott a lot after that and we talked a lot. Ash wasn't happy that I talk to him and only just wanted me to pay attention to him and only him. That night it hit me...What do I have in common with Ash? He's 19 years old and he made me feel sad a lot and made me feel happy sometimes. Which made me realize something I've been unhappy for 2 years with Ash, feeling that ignored and put away just suddenly came up and made me think he wasn't the one for me. So I thought it over and over again and I broke up with Ash but was it worth it? I mean say you made a cake and someone only took two bites of it and was done with it, you put so much hard work and effort making that cake but only just for someone who was only take two bites of it. However this morning I felt like I couldn't do it any more and I just ended it...I then tell Scott and one thing lead to another to which I'm dating him at the moment. Now I'm just confuse as hell on what to do and what to think. I told Ash that I wanted him to be part of my life in someway like to be friends but he just said "Cut him off or you'll never see me again, so him or me" and I chose Scott. Now Ash has deleted me off his skype and now I my current boyfriend tells me that Ash message him and told him something. I asked Scott what Ash told him but all he said "Do you trust me?" I said "Yes" he said "Ok because it's not important what he said to me...if you want to give Ash another chance it would be okay with me. Don't get me wrong I really want to be with you but I just want to see you happy" I just said "I'm happy because I'm with you". Now it's driving me crazy on what Ash told Scott and now I'm not sure I made a big mistake throwing a 2 year relationship on a guy that I just met, I can't even contact Ash even if I wanted to get back together with him. *take a deep breathe* A lot of you probably skip this or just left entirely who knows but I just really need to get this off my chest because right now I'm alone because Scott left to visit his grandma at the hospital and I can't contact Ash so I really have no one to talk to...So what is love to you? Is it worth pain and sadness? Is it being happy with someone you have in common with? What's love...?
-Teresa