Revenge

by DianneRose2016

Hotch, Morgan and Reid get kidnapped one night and wake up in a cellar. While they wait for the team to rescue them they have to go through torture and have their deepest secrets revealed to each other. Only their kidnapping is just the start of a more dangerous threat, with the biggest target directed at Reid and all he symbolizes.

14. Chapter 14

So funny story, I actually thought I posted this, but apparently not. I've had this ready for like months now. So sorry about that. Enjoy.

Warnings: Drug use, swearing, mentions of sexual acts. You know the same old same old.

P.S. Did you miss me?

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Chapter 14

It was five-thirty the next night when Morgan pulled up to Reid's apartment. He headed up the stairs and down the hallway to knock on Reid's door. He had spent the day at work going through profiles and trying to narrow down who could be their mole. Garcia had been working on trying to find Gideon, but so far she didn't have much luck. Morgan was hoping they would have something soon so they could put this case behind them. Morgan knocked on the door and waited for when Reid would answer. A moment later the door opened and Morgan smiled at Reid. He was dressed in some dark blue jeans and a black long sleeved dress shirt. Morgan could tell that Reid had been using today, but his eyes weren't too bad. Morgan figured it must have been a couple of hours since he had used and he was only just slightly high right now. Something Morgan was very happy about. He did not need the girls making comments because they could tell he was high.

"Hey Baby, you ready?" Morgan asked with a smile.

"Is it too late to pretend I'm sick?" Reid grumbled, clearly not wanting to go anywhere tonight.

"Yes it is. Come on it won't be that bad. Rossi is a great cook and there will be wine. I know how much you love wine." Morgan said with a smile.

"Fine, but you better hold up your end of the deal." Reid said as he went and grabbed his coat.

"I promise if it gets to be too much we can go."

Reid closed and locked his door before they headed back towards the stairs. They headed down as Reid spoke.

"How was work?"

"It was fine. I just focused on the profiles. We can all talk about it at dinner. How was your day?"

"I read the letters all day trying to decode everything. I should have something within the next day or two hopefully on who the mole is."

"In two days Strauss wants to meet with everyone again to see what we all have. She wants to be kept in the loop and have everyone on the same page with this. She is taking this very hands on. It's not a bad thing right now." Morgan said as they walked over to his car.

"At least she isn't kicking us off the case." Reid said as he got into the passenger seat.

"That is true. I thought for sure she would have done that. She normally doesn't like it when we get too personal with a case. Thankfully that isn't happening this time around." Morgan answered as he got in the driver's seat and started his car.

"Did anyone say anything today?"

"Nope. They are looking forward to seeing you."

"It hasn't been that long since I have seen them. It's only been three days since we have returned from Las Vegas."

"I know, but they are worried about you and they don't like that you are living here."

"I'm fine. Oh the realtor called and said I could look at the place tomorrow at three."

"Ok awesome I can definitely come with you for that if you still want me to."

"I would like you to be there. It's nice to have someone there that knows what to look for if something is wrong."

"I'll be there. I can pick you up for two-thirty and we can head over there. That'll be awesome to check out. It was available right away too right?"

"It was, but I would still need to put my notice in here. I'll end up having the apartment for a month empty, but I can clean it when it is empty."

"I can help you move everything too."

"I figured." Reid said with a smile.

"I'm sure everyone will be happy to help move you out of that place. Did you try something new today?"

"Sort of."

"Ok what did you sort of try?"

"I signed up for beginner's boxing lessons starting on Saturday." Reid said and it was clear he was waiting for Morgan to laugh at him for it.

"That's cool Pretty Boy. Why did you want to try it?" Morgan asked sounding supportive.

"It's just a lot of the times I'm not able to get out of a fight physically. I've been hurt a lot when maybe I could have been able to defend myself better. I thought I would try it and see if I like it or am even able to do it."

"Well I am all for you learning how to fight and protect yourself. You could have come to me I would have taught you."

"I know you would have, but I like the idea that it's some stranger. He doesn't know me or what I've been through. He's just there to teach me, it's simple and uncomplicated."

"I get that. Believe me I get that. I hope you like it and enjoy it. Who knows you punching a bag might be therapeutic for you and give you the chance to get some anger and emotions out. Make sure you listen to your instructor though so you don't hurt your hands and if you have any questions or need any help you know you can always come to me."

"Thank-you for understanding and I will be careful and if I need help I'll ask."

"Is this something you are keeping quiet?"

"I'm not looking to hide it. It shouldn't matter if the others know about it. It's just some boxing classes."

"Still, good for you Pretty Boy. Boxing is a great way to start working out and learning how to fight. I hope you enjoy it."

"I guess I'll see."

"Did you spend all day inside or did you go anywhere or see anyone?" Morgan asked trying to see if Reid had gotten in touch with J.D again.

"Is that really the question you want to ask me?" Reid asked calmly already knowing what Morgan was trying to ask without saying it.

"No. I'm trying to ask more about this J.D character without making you mad or upsetting you."

"Then be honest with me and ask."

"Did you see J.D today?"

"No I didn't and I didn't talk to him either."

"How long have you known him?"

"Since the first time I bought Dilaudid. I've used him ever since."

"How did you find him?"

"I wasn't living in the best area because I was trying to save as much money as I could to afford my mom's care. I asked one of the prostitutes around me who sold it and she gave me his name and number. I meet up with him and got what I needed. He's never done anything to hurt me or cheat me so I stuck with him."

"Does he know what you do or who you are?"

"He calls me Doc and he doesn't know anything. When I called him the other night for the first time since being sober he thought I had switched to someone else. I told him I was sober for that time. He came over with some drugs and whiskey that night."

"You guys don't ever fool around or have sex right?" Morgan asked completely afraid of the answer.

"We have in the past."

"And the other night when you saw him for the first time in almost two years?"

"Yes Derek. He spent the night and we partied as he likes to call it all night."

"I need to ask you this and I'm hoping you don't take it the wrong way here. Do you wear protection?"

"Of course, always. Not at the club growing up and I did often get an STD, but the owner was a doctor so he just prescribed us our medication. Once I left I always made sure any man that I had sex with was wearing protection. That is something that is personal and something I am not comfortable with. Maybe with someone that I loved and he loved me and I knew we were both clean then it wouldn't bother me as much."

"It's not for everyone. I always wear protection just because you never know. Someone could have something and they don't even know about it. I always play safe. I just had to ask, because I know you are always careful with your needles and you don't use dirty ones or share them."

"No never."

"I just had to ask even at the risk of sounding like an asshole."

"No I understand. I would have asked as well. I don't think I could do it without one."

"Like you said it depends on the situation you might find one day that you can."

Reid was quiet for a moment before he spoke softly.

"Buford didn't. I was so high I could barely stay awake, but what I do remember I remember so perfectly clear. He told me it was his favorite part. It's stupid because before he cam I didn't feel dirty, not until he did and then afterwards he would just watch, every time. I don't think I'll ever be able to not feel like that even with someone I love."

Morgan reached over and grabbed onto Reid's hand as he spoke.

"It's okay if you can never do that part again. Spencer, it is your body and you have every right to tell someone no and refuse to do something that will hurt you or make you feel negatively about it. You are going through a lot right now and I wish I could tell you that it will get better soon. I wish it was like a bruise that will be gone in two weeks. I hate that you had to go through that and I couldn't protect you from it. I will always be there for you to talk to. No matter what I will always be there for you."

"I know you will." Reid said with a small smile. "Just like I know you have one more question about J.D."

"I do, but it's not my place to ask about your sex life."

"We're having sex it seems like it would be your place to ask." Reid simply stated.

"We are just casual and best friends. I know you aren't comfortable with talking about stuff like that."

"I'm already uncomfortable so you might as well ask me now."

"Fair enough. When you are with J.D now or before does it ever hurt? That first time with me you had never been prepared properly and you believed that sex hurts. That is making me believe that sex with J.D hurts too, but I just wanted to double check."

"It hurts. It hurt before and it still does. He's rough, not too rough, but it does hurt with him."

"Then why do it?" Morgan asked with confusion and hurt in his voice.

"Before I didn't know any better."

"But you do now. So why do you do it now?"

"It makes the hands go away." Reid said with a shrug.

"From Buford." Morgan stated.

"From all of them. Growing up working at the club never bothered me that much. What the men did to me. Before it was just sex, something that is biologically explained. I had to do what I needed to do to help my mom and they had the money. It was a basic transaction and completely rational. For some reason now it is bothering me. My memory keeps playing it over in my head, I dream about it."

"Why didn't you tell me Babe? How long has this been going on for?" Morgan asked with concern.

"Since the hospital. It's nothing I can't handle. I don't know why it is bothering me all of a sudden when it didn't growing up."

"Because now your mind has connected what they did to you with what happened with Buford. Whether you willingly walked into that club every night doesn't change that you were raped. It doesn't change that you were only twelve years old and they were adult males paying to rape you. Your mind is finally processing what happened to you for what it truly is and not rationalizing it away to protect you. I wish you told me."

"It's fine. I'll deal with it."

"You know doing drugs and drinking and rough sex isn't the right away to deal with it though Pretty Boy. I'm not judging you at all. Believe me I am not judging you. I drank a lot when I was younger just to get passed what Buford did to me. I get the need you have of trying to scrub the hands off your skin, but hot showers and meaningless rough sex isn't going to do it and you know that." Morgan said gently.

"I know, but that's all I have right now. I'm not ready for anything else. I would understand if you don't want to be around me right now. I wouldn't hold it against you if you walked away."

"I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens Spencer, I'm not going anywhere. I just hate that you feel this way. I hate that there isn't anything I can do to make you feel better and be okay again. The only thing that will help you is time."

"I know that, but sometimes it's not that easy. It helps me make it through until it does get easier."

"I know babe and that's okay. Some days are going to be harder than others. I knew that a long time ago. I'm not walking away and I highly doubt Aaron is either. You will always have us Spencer."

Morgan pulled up to Rossi's house and he could tell that Reid was having a hard time now that they had spoken a little about what happened between him and Buford. It wasn't much, but he did learn that Reid was having nightmares about his time in the club. It was more than he had the last couple of months so he was going to take it. He was just worried how the girls would react to seeing Reid right now. He was only barely high, but you could tell by looking at him that he wasn't completely sober. He was hoping they would just think he had a couple of drinks in him and wouldn't bother him with questions.

They got out of the car and headed to the front door and Morgan walked in with Reid behind him. They could hear talking coming from the kitchen and they made their way towards it. The others all smiled as they saw Morgan and Reid walking towards them. They were all hanging around Rossi's island as he was just finishing up cooking the pasta. There were two glasses of red wine sitting on the island countertop ready for when Morgan and Reid would be there.

"Hey Spence, Derek." JJ said with a warm smile.

"Hello everyone. I hope we're not too late." Morgan said.

"You're not late at all. Dinner is almost ready. We were just about to get the table setup." Rossi said with a smile.

Morgan picked up a glass of wine and handed it to Reid before he picked up his own. Reid took a drink of the wine and he loved the taste of it. Rossi always had the best type of wine and liquor.

"How are you doing Reid?" Emily asked.

"Fine yourself?" Reid asked trying to be polite even though he really didn't want to be here.

"Good. Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look tired." Emily said as she saw that Reid's eyes were a little off.

"I'm fine." Reid said again with more of an edge to his voice.

"Dave, what plates do you want on the table?" Hotch asked looking to avoid a fight. He could tell that Reid was slightly high and he didn't want anyone to make a comment and anger Reid.

"Right over here." Rossi said as he went over to the cupboard and took out the plates.

They all went and set the table and once the pasta was complete Rossi brought it over with the garlic bread and they all sat down to eat. Aaron sat on Reid's left side with Morgan on his right. Once everyone had some food Reid spoke.

"Did we make any progress on the case today?"

"We were able to narrow down the potential mole suspects. Once we have enough of the code figured out we will be able to compare that to our list. Garcia, did you find anything that would lead us to Gideon?" Hotch asked.

"Not yet unfortunately. It's like he's completely dropped off the face of the earth. I'll find him I swear it's just taking some time." Garcia said sadly.

"If anyone can find him it's you Baby Girl." Morgan said supportively.

"Reid, were you able to figure out the code?" Rossi asked.

"Not yet, but I'm close. The letters are all scattered so I've been putting the pieces together slowly." Reid said.

"I told Spencer about the meeting in two days with Strauss." Morgan said.

"Ya she's being very friendly and helpful with this. It's weird." Emily said.

"It really is, but at least she's not being her normal charming self." JJ said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Erin can be tough and have a hard shell, but when it is one of her Agents in trouble she turns into a Mamma Bear. She'll work this case just as hard as the rest of us to make sure this case gets closed and everyone who is a part of this is taken down." Rossi said.

"No more shop talk for tonight. What have you been up to my little genius?" Garcia asked with a friendly smile.

"I've been working on the code and playing online poker." Reid answered.

"Have you played again?" Morgan asked with a smile.

"I did last night."

"What did you win?" Hotch asked with a smile.

"I only played for a couple of hours. I won fifteen thousand." Reid simply stated.

"Wait what?" Rossi asked shocked.

"He won twenty grand the other night, it was his first time playing online poker." Morgan said with a smile.

"Wow so you've won thirty-five thousand dollars in the last three days. That's crazy." Garcia said shocked at that.

"I just tried it for fun. I can used it to pay off the remaining amount of my student loans and the rest is sitting in a savings account. The money gets directly deposited into my bank account. It's quite convenient."

"Is it really a good idea for you to be playing poker?" JJ asked with concern.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Reid asked confused.

"I just don't want you to get caught up in it is all." JJ said.

"I've only played it twice. How would I get caught up in it?" Reid asked confused but slightly irritated at what JJ was hinting at.

"Gambling can be addictive Spence as you know. I just don't want you trying to fill time by gambling." JJ said gently trying to explain her concern.

"I've only played it twice since being home. I don't see the cause for concern." Reid said trying to get the irritation out of his voice.

"There's nothing wrong with a little poker playing. It's good for a person's mind and it will help give Reid something to do with his mind while he isn't at work. It's not as if he is sitting in a dark room playing it non-stop for days on end." Rossi tried to lightly joke to lighten the mood.

"Have you thought about what you want to do with your time off Reid?" Emily asked.

"I've decided to try something new each day. I'm also going to travel."

"Travel where?" Rossi asked.

"All the places I've wanted to go and see, but never had the chance too. Like Switzerland to see the Super Collider."

"Ah I know what that is." Rossi said with a proud smile.

"You're gonna travel by yourself?" JJ asked.

"To some places. Morgan and Hotch are going to possibly come with me to Switzerland." Reid said.

"Pretty Boy over here said I could teach him how to ski." Morgan said with a huge grin.

"Oh well that should be interesting." Rossi said with a grin.

"You want to learn how to ski?" Garcia asked surprised.

"I said I would try it. I'm out there anyways might as well."

"Nothing wrong with trying something new. Please tell me you are going to record it though." Emily said with a smile.

"I make no promises." Morgan said knowing that Reid would appreciate any teasing tonight.

"Well traveling isn't a bad way to spend your time off Spence." JJ said with a smile.

"What new thing did you try today?" Garcia asked.

"I signed up for beginner's boxing lesson. I start them on Saturday."

"Good for you Reid." Hotch said supportingly. It was surprising, but it wasn't a bad idea for Reid to learn how to defend himself.

"What brought that on?" Rossi asked.

"It's something I've never tried and it wouldn't be a bad idea to learn how to defend myself better. I'll try it and see if I like it or not."

"That's good Reid. It would be therapeutic for you to be able to punch the bag. I know it helps me." Emily said.

"Just be careful of your hands. Even with gloves your hands will be sore afterwards." Rossi said.

"Morgan told me. The trainer is a professional I am sure he will make sure every precaution is taken." Reid said.

"Have you thought more about moving out of your apartment?" Emily asked.

"I am going to buy a condo. I have a viewing tomorrow at three actually." Reid answered.

"The realtor got back to you already?" Hotch asked.

"She did this morning. Morgan is going to come with me. You can come as well if you wish."

"I'll see if I can get away tomorrow. It's for three?"

"Ya I'm gonna pick him up at two-thirty." Morgan said.

"And it's the one you showed me last night?" Hotch asked.

"Yes." Reid answered.

"Where is it?" Rossi asked.

"It's on Richmond Ave. it has a couple fireplaces and a rather large bath tub." Reid answered.

"For someone who hates being cold having a couple fireplaces will be good. Electric I'm assuming." Rossi said.

"They are, ones in the living room and the other is in the bedroom. It has real flames though and not just an illusion." Reid said.

"Nice. That's a great area too." Rossi said.

"Are you going to buy it outright?" Garcia asked.

"No I'm going to pay part of it and the rest I'll have a mortgage for." Reid answered.

"When is it available for?" JJ asked.

"Right away. I have to give two months' notice to my landlord. If I get the condo I'll move in slowly and then I can spend the remaining month being able to clean it properly."

"Well you know we will help you move." Emily said with a smile.

"I appreciate that, but I might get movers."

"What? Really? You know I will help you Pretty Boy." Morgan said slightly insulted at the idea of movers.

"You helped move me in, do you remember how it took us one hour, seventeen minutes and nine seconds to get my couch up the stairs and around the corners just to get it into the apartment. Do you really want to do that again?" Reid said with a chuckle to his voice.

Morgan was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "So movers eh? I could get behind that." Morgan said with a smile.

"Ya I thought so." Reid said with a knowing look.

"Maybe down isn't as bad as up." JJ supplied.

"Actually there have been experiments where that is concerned. People believe that packing and moving to a new location takes longer than unpacking and moving out of a new location. When actually it's the exact same amount of hours and effort. It's psychological ingrained into our brains at a young age that taking something down is naturally faster than putting something together. The same could be said for moving. Packing boxes and moving into a new location takes the same movement and time as it does to unpack a box and move out of a location." Reid said.

The others smiled at Reid as they had all missed his little rants and rambles that he would go on when he found something fascinating, the problem was he found everything fascinating. They had missed it a great deal and they were glad to see it once again.

"Well I for one am all for movers when I think about dragging that couch down those stairs." Morgan said.

"Not to mention the boxes of books you would have to do." JJ said with a smile.

"How many books do you have?" Rossi asked out of curiosity.

"Three hundred, fifty-two." Reid easily answered.

"Wow that is a lot of books." Emily said amazed, but not all that shocked that Reid had a lot of them.

"Books are very important to keep your mind engaged and for young minds to grow. A solid reading level at a young age will help a child develop better communication skills and understand their school work in higher grades." Reid said.

"Speaking of homework. Jack gets to be in the Science Fair at his school next month. You wouldn't happen to have any ideas of something easy a six year old can build it?" Hotch asked.

"What happened to the good old reliable volcano?" Morgan asked.

"Almost everyone in the class will do it. Jack wants to standout. If he wins the school's Science Fair he gets to go to a State Science Fair and show off his project where he could win tickets for his whole class to the Science and Space Museum in New York City." Hotch responded.

"Does he have to win against the Eighth Graders?" JJ asked.

"No they broke it up. He has to win out of grades one through three." Hotch answered.

"So he's the underdog." Rossi said clearly thinking of something that Hotch might be able to use.

"You could built a rocket together." Reid said.

"He has to be the one to make it though." Hotch said.

"He can. The only thing you would need to do is make the cuts. You can even make it fly with a remote control." Reid said.

"Seriously? A six year old can build this?" Morgan asked shocked.

"Oh completely. I can give you a list of materials and the instructions and you can have it built within five hours. Does he have to have a report?" Reid asked Hotch.

"He does. One page on whatever he decides to build."

"There's plenty on rockets that he would be able to discuss. It's a simple project that he can do himself with a little help from you for safety reasons. And it's something he can use afterwards." Reid said.

"He would standout from the crowd that's for sure. What six year old would have a genius uncle that knows how he can build a rocket?" Rossi said with a sly grin on his face as he was very competitive.

"Reid you write down what I need and then why don't you come over next weekend if we don't have a case to help us with it? Jack loves when you come over and teach him something new." Hotch said.

"Are you sure?" Reid asked slightly unsure as he didn't want to step on Hotch's toes. This was something that typically parents do with their children.

"Absolutely. You can teach both of us something new and Jack loves having you there. Come over in the afternoon, I'll make some dinner and we can work on it together." Hotch said with a smile.

"Ok. I'll get the list together for you."

"Jack's class is so going to that Science and Space Museum." Garcia said with a huge smile.

"That's pretty cool that they are doing that type of thing now in schools. I remember my science fair the winner just got a ribbon and that was it. This one year I built this awesome volcano, it even erupted and everything and I lost to this kid that used food coloring and water to turn celery different colours. Man I was pissed." Morgan said.

The others chuckled at him as Morgan was competitive himself and did not like losing at all. So for him to lose to some other kid with celery was funny to them.

"I won every year." Reid said with a smirk to Morgan.

"Ya, ya, ya. What did you build anyways?" Morgan asked.

"I made a rocket, a solar powered oven, an accurate solar system made out of glass. That one took me a whole month to make because I had to melt the right colored glass down and then make it all round with wires through it to hold it up on display."

"And you were how old?" Emily asked.

"That was the last science fair I got to do in grade school, I was nine. Then in high school I was on the science team and the math team. We built fighting robots."

"Fighting robots are awesome." Garcia agreed easily.

"We made one with flames shooting out of it." Reid said proudly.

"Ok that's pretty cool." Morgan said.

"I read in the paper the other day that some billionaire will pay fifty million dollars for any new advance technology to travel space. Assuming it's proven to work." Emily said.

"What would that be though? I mean there's already NASA. What could someone build for that?" JJ asked confused.

"There has always been a high demand for personal spaceships that someone could fly into space to explore. The problem is the people with IQs high enough to develop a functioning spaceship are either not interested or just don't have the time. Those working in NASA are focusing on their own space travels and gathering information from other planets. NASA is really interested in being able to recreate Earth on another planet."

"Right Mars." Garcia said.

"Would that even be possible?" JJ asked.

"In theory it would be, but in practical it would take decades to be able to develop a way to produce a safe ozone layer so plant life can grow and a water source could be sustained. There is a great deal of universe that we haven't been able to discover. It is possible that there is another planet exactly like Earth that could work to have humans living on. People will pay a lot of money for someone that could invent a way for someone to travel through space without having to be working for the Government." Reid said.

"Maybe that is something you could do with your time off this year." JJ suggested.

"Maybe. I have a doctorate in engineering, but I would have to read on space travel and the engineering that goes within a spaceship. I would also have to find the parts and the equipment to produce one." Reid said with a shrug.

"I would imagine parts would be hard to come by." Hotch said.

"They would be and they would be costly." Reid said.

They spent the rest of the dinner talking about random things. None of them wanted to bring up what had really been on their minds just yet. Everything had been going well so far and they wanted to keep it that way for now. Once dinner was done and the dishes had been cleaned they made their way into the living room. Reid was on his third glass of wine as he sat down on the couch with Morgan beside him.

"That's your third glass Spence." JJ said with concern.

"I'm well aware of that." Reid said with a slight edge to his voice.

"Is it a really good idea to be drinking considering." JJ said with concern again.

"Considering what?" Reid asked even though he already knew the answer that JJ was hinting at.

"You know what Spence." JJ said gently.

"Because I'm an addict. That means I should never drink or gamble then right?" Reid said annoyed.

"It just might not be the best thing for you to be doing right now. Are you still taking the Vicodin? You shouldn't be taking them and drinking at the same time." JJ said.

"No offense JJ, but out of everyone in this room I am the last person that needs medical advice. I am well aware of what I can and cannot do I don't need you trying to tell me what I should be doing." Reid said with irritation in his voice.

"I'm not trying to Spence. I just think you need to be careful. You've been through a lot and I know you don't want to slip back into bad habits." JJ said trying to explain.

"I can take care of myself."

"We know you can." Garcia said trying to ease the tension.

"Reid you can't blame us for being worried about you. Let's be realistic here you were addicted to Dilaudid. You got injected with more of it and became addicted again. Then the doctor gives you Vicodin, which is basically the same thing. We're your friends we get to be worried about you using again." Emily said with strength to her voice.

"I'm not taking Vicodin. Not that it's any of your business. It's mine and mine alone. I don't have to tell any of you anything or justify myself for what I do." Reid said with anger.

"But this anger is what you were like the last time Spence. You never get angry normally." JJ said.

"No I don't show my anger most of the time. That doesn't mean I don't get angry. I'm sick of having this conversation all the time. This is why I didn't want to be here tonight. I'm tired of you three preaching and lecturing me when you have no idea what I went through."

"Because you won't talk about it with us. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea if you went and spoke to a professional about what happened. Or maybe think about rehab to get through everything. You didn't go last time you just quit cold turkey. It wouldn't be a bad idea to consider going so you can work through what has happened to you." JJ suggested calmly.

"So now I need rehab?" Reid said with anger in his voice.

"Ok let's calm down here. This might not be the best time to have this conversation." Rossi said trying to get everyone to take a moment to catch their emotions.

"And when is there a good time Rossi? We have every right to want to talk about this. There is a good chance that Reid, our friend, will relapse. We get to be concerned." Emily said back.

"And Reid has the right to not talk about it." Morgan said back with his own anger growing.

"So you have no concerns about Reid possibly relapsing?" Emily challenged.

"My main concern is Reid feeling like he can't come to me if something happens or if he needs to talk. You can't force someone into rehab or to a therapist. It his choice and only his. None of us have the right to judge him or lecture him about it. I would rather have Reid come to me when he needs to talk, when he needs a friend than him thinking he can't come to me. Or not wanting to come to me because he doesn't want to hear some lecture." Morgan said back.

"What I do is none of your business or anyone's for that matter. I have a year off and I plan on taking the whole year. What I do inside of that year is my choice and my decisions. I don't have to get approval from anyone and if you don't like it then I'll see you in a year. I'm not going to constantly defend myself or justify myself to anyone." Reid said with anger.

"And you don't have to." Hotch said with a serious tone.

"Hotch." Garcia started, but Hotch cut her off.

"No. I am his boss. If I was concerned about it I would have a private conversation with him. But I am not concerned. At the end of the year Reid can decide what he wishes to do until then it's his life and he has every right to live it how he sees fit. As his friends you should be supportive of him and his decisions." Hotch said.

"I can't be supportive of the decision for him to do drugs if it happens." JJ said back.

"And no one is asking you to. But unless that happens you have no need to lecture him. Reid will do what is right for him and only he knows what that is. End of discussion." Hotch said in a stern voice.

"What just like that? We're not at work Hotch. You don't have the right to order us to end a discussion with our friend. We're just concerned and worried and we have every right to be." JJ said with anger in her voice once again.

"And I have every right not to hear a lecture every time I see you." Reid snapped back.

"So what would you like us to do Spence? Just ignore it and pretend like everything is okay? Let you go back to using Dilaudid and destroying your life? I'm sorry but we love you too much to sit back and watch as you self-destruct." JJ said with anger.

"Then don't watch." Reid said with anger as he got up and he went into the kitchen to place his glass down.

Morgan knew that Reid was ready to leave and he couldn't say he blamed him. Tonight was supposed to be about family having a nice dinner and JJ and Emily turned it into an interrogation basically. Reid grabbed his coat as he spoke.

"Thanks for dinner Rossi. I'm gonna head home."

"I'll drive you." Morgan said.

"No it's fine I can get myself home."

"I know you can, but I'm not about to let that happen. I should get home to Clooney anyways. Thanks for dinner Rossi it was delicious." Morgan said as he got up and put his own glass into the kitchen before he grabbed his jacket.

"It was my pleasure. I'll see you at work tomorrow Morgan. See you soon Reid." Rossi said with a warm smile.

"See you guys at work." Morgan said before him and Reid headed out of the door and back to Morgan's car.

They got into Morgan's car and they headed down the driveway and back onto the road to get to Reid's apartment. Morgan knew that Reid was pissed off and he couldn't blame him. The first half of dinner had gone really well only for it to end in a fight.

"Are you okay?" Morgan asked after a moment.

"I told you it was going to happen. I'm surprised they made it through the actual dinner without starting anything." Reid said with anger still in his voice, but Morgan knew it wasn't directed towards him.

"I really thought it would be okay. I didn't think that was going to happen I really didn't. And I'm disappointed in Emily and JJ for it. They shouldn't have acted that way."

"They get the right to feel the way that they do. I understand that. But they are not my mothers and I don't have to justify my actions to them. I'm done with doing that. With having to be what everyone expects and wants me to be. I can't do it anymore."

"And you shouldn't have to. They just need some time to adjust to the situation and hopefully they will change their attitude."

"That's just it. I should care about what they are feeling and their opinion and attitude towards me. I should care, but I really don't. I can't bring myself to care about anyone really right now or anything for that matter." Reid said as he looked out the passenger window.

"It's not wrong for you to feel that way Spencer. You've been through a lot and are still going through a lot. You're allowed to not care for a little while. The girls will come around they just need some time."

Reid pulled out his phone and sent JD a text knowing exactly what he needed tonight. He didn't care if Morgan approved or not he needed that escape from reality and JD always made it happen. If rough sex was a payment for that then so be it. At least for a night Reid wouldn't have to feel the hands on him or see it haunting his dreams.

'Party in thirty?'

Reid was hoping that JD could come over. It wasn't often when JD didn't come over because he was already busy. Normally he would come over and if he had to make a deal he just had the customer come to him. Reid didn't know what he was going to do when he got the new place. He didn't want JD to be bringing people to his new place. He didn't want anyone to try and break in later on and steal something. At his current place there wasn't much to steal, but at the new place he could have nicer furniture. His couch was really old, same as his bed. He could afford to buy new furniture for the new place. Reid really didn't want to have JD over to his new place, but he didn't want to be at JD's place either. It was something he had never done and he just didn't feel comfortable with that. You never know who could walk in. Reid figured he could afford to keep his current apartment with just a few things in it. So when he wanted to meet with JD he could still do it at his old apartment and not at his condo. It would also give him a place to hide out if the others got annoying or on his case too much. He could easily afford to keep his apartment around with the condo. He was going to be getting a good amount from the house in Vegas, plus he still had the cheques he needed to put into his bank. He was also really getting into playing online poker. He was very good at it. He had the money to do what he wanted with so he might as well enjoy it. He was free after all for the first time in his life. After a moment his phone buzzed and Reid opened the text.

'See you then Doc I'll bring the medicine.'

'Bring extra I got the cash.'

"One of the girls texting you?" Morgan asked hoping it was one of their friends texting Reid.

"No it's JD."

"JD huh. Are you going to see him tonight?" Morgan asked trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice. Morgan knew they could do anything they wanted with other people. He was messing around with Hotch so he wasn't one to talk. But he didn't like the idea of Reid having sex with JD, especially knowing that it was painful for Reid.

"Yes and I don't want to hear a lecture over it." Reid said with an edge to his voice.

"Wasn't going to give one. I could stay you know if you wanted me to."

"I'll be fine."

"Am I still picking you up tomorrow at two-thirty?"

"Only if you want to. I would understand if you don't want to go and look at the condo with me."

"No I want to Pretty Boy. I just wanted to make sure you were still okay with me coming along."

"I am. I asked for you to be there."

"Ok I just wanted to double check. I'll be there to pick you up. Aaron will probably be with me as he's coming along."

"Ok" Reid said as his phone vibrated once again and he saw the text.

'Sure thing Doc.'

'See you soon.'

"Are you excited to see the condo?" Morgan asked hoping to avoid the conversation about JD.

"I don't know about excited. I am looking forward to seeing it."

"Looking forward to it is good. Excited will come after you sign a lease and are waiting to move in."

"Assuming I can get it. Others may have put in offers on it. I won't know until tomorrow. I think I'll get some new furniture instead of moving some of the old furniture."

Reid didn't know if he should be telling Morgan about not giving up his apartment. He knew he should, but he didn't want to have to deal with a lecture or Morgan's opinion on it.

"You could definitely use some new furniture. Your couch is kinda starting to fall apart and your bed is kinda small." Morgan said with a smirk.

"I never needed one bigger than a double before. The couch is comfy, but I could use a new one."

"A new start on life in a new place it makes sense to get some new furniture that will match the new place. I could go with you if you want when it's time."

"I still don't know how you like shopping."

"I don't mind shopping. Shopping with girls though can be tiring and hard. Whenever I get dragged to the mall with Penelope I feel like I'm trying to catch a chicken." Morgan said with a chuckle.

"I don't like shopping. I only go when I have to. It would be nice to have some new furniture though."

"Just say when and where and I can go with you if you want. Are you gonna be at the meeting in two days?"

"Am I supposed to be?"

"I think it would be a good idea for you to be there. This way we can all be on the same page. It's up to you though."

"I'll be there, but don't expect me to be sticking around. I'm mad at the way JJ and Emily are handling this. I knew Garcia would be like herself, but I expected more from JJ and Emily. I know when they find out I'm using they won't be happy and I know it's a matter of when they find out and not if. I just thought they would at least be more understanding and rational about it. It seems like they are trying to push me in the direction they want me to be in and not the one that I am currently in. I know they want the best for me, but I need to figure out what the best for me is for myself. I really just want to live without expectation for a little while. Maybe I can figure out who exactly I am."

"And that is your right and I support you one hundred percent on it Pretty Boy. I got your back on this I promise you."

"I know you do and I appreciate that I truly do Derek." Reid said as they pulled up to his apartment.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come up? I could crash here tonight." Morgan tried again really not wanting to leave Reid alone with JD.

"I'll be fine. I have company coming over soon remember? Thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can I kiss you goodnight?" Morgan asked calmly.

Reid blushed slightly but gave a shaky nod. Morgan reached out and gently placed his right hand on the left side of Reid's lower cheek so his hand was part on his jaw line and neck. He slowly brought Reid closer to him and Reid moved easily. Morgan gently pressed his lips against Reid's knowing to go slow so Reid could adjust to the feeling and if he wanted to he could easily move back. Reid pressed his lips against Morgan's and after a moment he allowed Morgan to deepen the kiss. When Reid felt Morgan's tongue against his lip and Reid opened his mouth slightly to allow Morgan access. They hadn't done this before when Reid wasn't high so Morgan took it slow and only used a little tongue. After a few minutes of a heated kiss Morgan slowly pulled back to allow them both to catch their breath. With one last kiss to Reid's lips Morgan pulled back slightly and spoke.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come up?"

"Tempting, but I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow though right?"

"You know it. Be safe tonight Babe."

"Always."

Morgan leaned in and placed one last kiss on Reid's lips before he pulled back fully and spoke.

"Goodnight Pretty Boy."

"Goodnight Derek." Reid said back before he got out of the car and headed towards the apartment building door.

Reid headed up inside to his apartment. He went into his room and grabbed his stash so he could have some in his system for when JD got here. Reid knew that he shouldn't be doing this, but at the same time he just couldn't bring himself to care enough. Tonight he was going to escape from it all and tomorrow he would go and look at the condo and hopefully his new place to live. Tonight was about forgetting and tomorrow Reid would work on cracking the code and finding a new place to live.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was two in the afternoon when Morgan headed into Hotch's office. He had been worried about Reid all day as he had been texting him, but getting nothing back. Morgan knew that JD was there last night and he had a good feeling that Reid wasn't going to be in the best of shape. Morgan didn't want Reid showing up to view the condo looking hung over or passed out. Morgan knocked on Hotch's door and walked in as it was part way open. Morgan closed the door behind him as Hotch spoke.

"Everything alright?" Hotch asked with concern.

"I hope so. I know we leave in thirty, but can I go now? JD was over last night and Reid isn't answering my texts. I just want to make sure he's even awake right now."

"He might be asleep still. We can both head out now and make sure he is awake and ready for this appointment. I don't want him missing out on a great place." Hotch said as he began to pack up his notes.

"I don't either and I have a feeling he's passed out right now. He's gonna need a shower and some coffee to get him looking normal again."

"You still have your key?" Hotch asked as he stood up with his coat. He would be coming back here afterwards to do more work so he didn't need to bring anything else with him. Morgan was already going to be coming back here as well.

"Ya I got it."

"Are you coming back here afterwards?" Hotch asked as they headed out of the office and down the stairs.

"I am. I want to get some stuff done and more into the cases to see if I can start eliminating some of them based on what Reid found."

"We can take one car then. Hopefully Reid was able to find more information for us. Until we have those letters cracked we won't be able to eliminate anyone else further down."

"He'll get it for us. He wants them caught just as badly as we all do. He's just struggling right now to handle it all. I think he's doing well considering." Morgan said as they got into the elevator.

"He is doing well. He's doing better than I thought he would be. How was the drive last night?"

"It was alright. I really was hoping last night had gone better. I really wanted to show Spencer that the others could have normal interactions with him and we could hang out and have dinner like a family like we used to without it being hard or weird. The dinner itself went well and I thought perfect ya know this is what he needed. And then all that shit started and put him in a really bad place. He was already in a bad place before we got there from the conversation in the car."

"What conversation?" Hotch asked with concern.

"I had asked him if he had seen JD again and he told me he hadn't seen him other than that one night this week. We got on the conversation of if him and JD ever slept together." Morgan whispered even though they were alone in the elevator.

"And do they?" Hotch whispered back as they got off the elevator.

"They do. According to JD he calls it partying. They partied all night including some really rough activities." Morgan said and Hotch understood what he meant.

"Are these activities something Reid has awareness to agree to?" Hotch asked with worry and anger in his voice.

"They are according to him." Morgan answered as they headed out of the building and got into Hotch's car. Once inside the car Morgan continued. "I asked Spencer why he would be having sex with him if it hurts and Spencer said that it helps take the hands off from him."

"But he's only putting more on him. They aren't good hands on him." Hotch said with upset in his voice.

"I know. After everything that he has been through it's brought up some memories from when he was working at the club. Before it never bothered him and now it is starting to. He's having nightmares about it and that is putting more hands on him."

"Then after dinner the girls bring it up and it was too much for his mind to handle right now." Hotch said with understanding in his voice.

"Ya I tried to get him to let me spend the night last night, but he asked JD to come by and he didn't want me to stay. I know what he's doing I did it myself. Sleeping around just to forget, getting drunk, even the red hot showers. I get what he's trying to do, but it's not going to work. JJ wasn't wrong he needs to talk to a professional about it. He might need rehab to get passed the drugs this time, but it wasn't the right time to bring it up."

"It wasn't and I have to agree Spencer might need professional help this time around to quit fully. It wasn't the time to bring it up. Spencer is not ready to hear it or even think about that possibility. He's trying to get his life together and him trying new things is a great idea for him to do. I hope he does go out and travel and sees the world. He needs some time first before he can get off the drugs. All we can do is be there for him and support him."

"Yet the girls don't seem to get that. What happened after we left last night?"

"They were mad and upset that Spencer had left like that. Apparently they thought he should have been more open and considerate of their thoughts and feelings. The problem is before this Spencer would have sat there quietly and listened to what they had to say, but after everything that has happened to him he can't bring himself to do that. They aren't used to him acting this way and not taking any crap from someone."

"That's exactly it. He told me in the car last night that he knew he should care about what the others thought, but he just couldn't bring himself to care about it or anything right now. I can't say I blame him after everything he's been through in his life. It really is a miracle that he didn't turn to drugs before or self-destruct. If I had to go through what he did in that club and every day with his mom I wouldn't be in the FBI right now."

"I wouldn't be either. I don't know what I would be doing, but I know it would not be anything productive or remarkable like being in the FBI. He's truly amazing and I would hate for him to lose that especially to himself."

"I don't think we will. I think he just needs time to be twenty-seven and explore the world and himself. He didn't get to do that back in college like everyone else did. He's always had to be responsible and a grown-up he deserves some time to do something different and find who he is outside of his brain. The girls should be supportive of that because he would be for them. It's just that simple. When you are a family you don't get to pick which parts of a person you like and which ones you don't. You just except the person fully and love them regardless."

"The girls need some time and hopefully they will think very long and hard about the situation. They are only going to push Spencer away from them and that wouldn't be good for anyone. Unfortunately all we can do is what is in our power to do and that is to get this case closed and everyone either in the ground or in a cage. Then Spencer can truly begin to heal from it all."

"And hopefully never remember what his father did to him growing up." Morgan said with worry.

"Has he had any more dreams?" Hotch asked with concern.

"Not that he's ever mentioned to me. I hope he never does and that was just a fluke from reading those letters so much. I don't think he would come back from that."

"I'm not sure. All we can do is hope he doesn't remember and he never does. He has enough he has to work through he shouldn't have to deal with that to go with it. Do you think JD will be there?"

"I don't know, I hope not. He doesn't know what Reid does for a living. He just calls him Doc. I don't really want to see what would happen if he found out that Reid is an FBI Agent."

"Well we're about to find out." Morgan said as they pulled up out front of Reid's apartment.

They got out of the car and headed across the street and to the front door. Morgan opened it with the key and they headed inside. They headed up the stairs and down the hallway to Reid's apartment. Once there Morgan knocked, but once no one answered he used his key and they both walked in. They weren't surprised that the apartment was a mess. Reid had papers everywhere with some books on the floor. The white board wall was covered in his writing as he was trying to break the code to the letters. There on the table was multiple empty liquor bottles, used needles, empty vials and small baggies with an off white powder inside of them.

"Has he mentioned using other drugs with you?" Hotch asked with concern.

"No he hasn't." Morgan said as he picked up the small baggie.

"Maybe Dilaudid on the street comes in a powder form?" Hotch suggested but not feeling confident in it at all.

"I don't think it does." Morgan said as he looked at the powder and opened the bag smelling it slightly. Not enough to get any drugs in his system just enough to get the smell of it.

"What is it?" Hotch asked knowing that Morgan had experience in the past with drugs from being a police officer.

"It's heroin." Morgan said as he did the baggie back up and put it on the table.

"Dilaudid is drugstore heroin so it would make sense for him to use heroin. Are all of these his needles?" Hotch asked taking in the five needles on the table.

"I don't know. I don't know how many times he uses the same needle or if JD uses." Morgan said as he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed the sharps container that was under the kitchen sink. He walked back over and used a napkin to pick up the needles. "He might be mad about this, but I don't care. I don't want him using the wrong one and putting himself at risk."

"I know he's too smart for this, but do you know if he uses dirty needles or shares?"

"No he doesn't. I did ask him last night and he said he never does. He always makes sure he has safe sex and doesn't share his needles with anyone. I don't know if JD uses needles or not and I don't want him grabbing the wrong one and putting himself at risk." Morgan said as he made his way back into the kitchen to put the container away.

"Why don't you go and wake him up and I will get the coffee on." Hotch suggested.

"You're gonna let me go in there? Are you hoping he's alone? Because I might kill JD if he's there." Morgan said with anger that someone was hurting Reid in this way.

"If he is there it will look better for you to be there as you don't look like a Fed. I do right now. Besides Spencer would not be comfortable with me finding him in any sort of compromising position. Just go in and be calm we don't need Spencer mad at us and pushing us away." Hotch said calmly.

"Alright alright I'll go." Morgan said as he headed down the short hallway and went to Reid's bedroom.

Hotch headed into the kitchen to get a pot of coffee on. He knew that Reid would need one in him to wake him up and possibly sober him up slightly depending on how much he used last night and when he finally went to bed. Once the coffee was on Hotch went and cleaned up the table and removed the empty glass bottles before he picked up the small baggies of drugs and the full vials and brought them into the kitchen. Hotch didn't know what he should be doing with any of it. He hated looking at it and knowing that someone he cared for deeply was using this stuff. He wanted to dump it, but he knew that it would be dangerous for Reid to go cold turkey possibly. He didn't want to put Reid at risk and he also didn't want Reid to not trust him. Hotch had to be supportive even if he hated that Reid was using. He couldn't risk Reid pushing him away and keeping him in the dark.

Morgan headed into the bedroom slowly and he was relieved to see that Reid was alone in bed. He was naked and was laying on his stomach. The sheets weren't on the bed but in a pile on the floor from being thrown off or fallen off. Morgan grabbed the sheet and put it over Reid covering him up from the waist down so he wouldn't be embarrassed when he woke up. Morgan placed a gentle hand on Reid's shoulder and shook him gently as he spoke.

"Spencer babe you need to wake up."

Spencer let out a groan as he was being woken up. He had been facing away from Morgan and he moved so now he was facing Morgan still on his stomach.

"Come on babe, we got that condo to see." Morgan said trying to get Reid to be fully awake.

"Derek?" Reid whispered and his voice was hoarse from what Morgan could tell.

"Yes Pretty Boy. It's just after two you need to wake up and get ready to leave. We got that condo to see remember?" Morgan said gently.

Reid lifted his head and squinted his eyes as he looked at the clock in his room. He put his head back down and let out a groan before he spoke. "I didn't fall asleep until nine this morning."

"Ya I figured. You don't really seem all that sober right now." Morgan said lightly trying not to sound like an ass or accusing Reid of anything.

"I'm not. So tired right now. I barely sleep anymore." Reid said with his eyes closed.

"I know babe. Hotch is here he's got some coffee going for you. You need a good cup of coffee and a shower and that will get you pretty close to sober. We'll go and check this place out and then you can come back here and crash for the night. Let your body rest up and catch up on some sleep."

"Mmk."

"Do you want any help?"

"No I'll be fine." Reid said as he rolled over onto his back and rubbed his hand over his face to try and wake himself up. "I'm getting up I'll take a shower first. You said Hotch is here?"

"He is. We'll be out there when you are ready. Try not to take too long we don't want to be late for that appointment."

"Ok I'm coming."

Morgan headed out of the room and into the living room where Hotch was straightening up.

"You know he's gonna blame me for this." Morgan said with a smirk.

"I know he has his own organizational mess, but this is just messy. There is no organization about it. I think he was reading anything he could to stay awake and they landed everywhere." Hotch said as he picked up some books to put back in order on the bookshelf.

Morgan picked up some papers are he spoke. "Probably. It wouldn't be the first time he's done it. He's awake now and getting up to shower. He's still high, but hopefully after a shower and a cup of coffee he'll be in better shape."

"At least enough for him to not look stoned. He was alone I'm assuming."

"He was. He was butt naked in bed, but alone."

"This is not a situation I ever thought I would be in." Hotch said sounding helpless.

"Me neither. I know I could walk away, but I can't bring myself to do that. To leave him alone with this. I think if he had to deal with this on his own he wouldn't ever get clean again."

"You're probably right about that. I don't think he would either. I'm not walking away, but I have Jack to think about as well. I can't have Spencer around him if he is high."

"Spencer knows that though. He would never put Jack in that position or Henry."

"I know he wouldn't. Spencer cares about them too much to do that to them and I'm glad for it. I would just hate for Jack to miss out on time with Spencer. He really does love when he comes over. He's excited to be building a rocket with him on the weekend."

"I bet he is. That would be awesome for a six year old to do. Reid is great with that type of stuff."

"He is. Oh Hailey had a company come out to check the tree and we have a green light. You and Jack will have to have some time together to design his cool tree house." Hotch said with a smile.

"Awesome I can come by next weekend if you want and we can design a sick tree house." Morgan suggested.

"Sure I get Jack on Saturday you could come over and we can make something for dinner."

"Sounds good." Morgan said with a smile.

They heard the shower running so they at least knew that Reid was up and moving. They spent the next ten minutes straightening up the living room while Reid showered and got dressed. He came out and still looked high. His eyes were glazed over and they were half open. He was at least dressed in brown slacks and a white button down with a brown sweater vest over top. He looked professional as long as you didn't look at his face. Reid didn't say anything he just walked and swayed slightly over to Morgan who had his hand held out with a mug for Reid already filled with coffee. Reid took it and took a drink from it before he looked around his living room and his brows furrowed. He turned back to Morgan as he spoke.

"You have a disease." Reid's voice was hoarse still and it was clearly from being up all night partying.

"No, no, no, he started it." Morgan said with a smile as he pointed to Hotch.

"You helped." Hotch said back in his own defense.

"You both have a disease. You need help and coming from me that says a lot." Reid joked blandly as he rubbed his eyes to try and wake up as he headed over to his couch and sat down.

Reid sat back against the couch as Hotch spoke. "How are you feeling Spencer?"

"Numb. How are you both?"

"We're good. Do you need to bring anything with you today?" Hotch asked.

"I don't know do I? I'm just looking at most I'll have to fill out a form. Am I supposed to bring something?" Reid asked confused.

"You shouldn't need anything. You'll have to fill out a form and put in an offer if you want the place, but then the offer has to be approved and accepted by the owner before you need anything else. If you do get the place then you can write a cheque for the amount and sign all of the papers." Morgan answered.

Reid just gave a nod and they were both hoping that Reid's mind would come back to him before they arrived for the appointment.

"So try anything new today?" Morgan asked trying to ease some of the awkward tension in the room.

"Considering you just woke me up, no." Reid said.

"Have anything in mind?" Morgan asked.

"Why do you?" Reid asked with a smirk.

"No I was just curious. Didn't know if you had a list or not." Morgan said ignoring what Reid truly meant.

"Not right now no." Reid said as he took another drink from his mug. "Are you really going to stand there and not ask me whatever question you have on your mind?" Reid said as he looked at Hotch.

"It's probably not the best time to be asking you things." Hotch simply said.

"Why because I'm high? It's not like I'll get mad and I won't blackout so I'll remember. You might as well ask me Hotch." Reid simply said.

"Alright. What drugs are you using Spencer?"

"Dilaudid and heroin, though essentially they are the same thing."

"Then why mix the two?" Hotch asked.

"Different feel to them. Essentially is not exactly."

"Does JD use as well?" Hotch asked.

"Yes"

"Needles?" Hotch asked.

"Yes"

"And you don't share?"

"I already told Morgan I didn't."

"I know, but what about when you are high? Are you sure you never share them?" Hotch pressed again.

"We never share he doesn't like to just as much as I do."

"Alright, what about drinking? Do you drink while you are using?" Hotch asked with concern.

"Yes I do."

"Why Spencer? You would know better than anyone how dangerous that could be. Why would you risk it?" Hotch asked with worry.

"Honestly? Because I don't care." Reid said as he took a drink of what was left in his mug as he got up and headed into the kitchen. He didn't sway and they were taking that as a good sign. They knew he was still high, but at least he seemed to be able to function more now.

"You don't care if you live or die?" Morgan asked with worry in his voice now.

"That's not what I said. I just don't care about the statistics or the risk. It's worth it." Reid answered as he grabbed a travel mug and filled it with coffee knowing they needed to leave soon or they risked being late.

"You are putting your health at risk though Spencer." Hotch said.

"I do that every time I stick a needle in my arm. The risks are worth it to me. I don't expect either of you to understand. It's my choice though and it's not about to change. The last thing I want to hear is a lecture." Reid said as he finished getting his coffee ready.

"We're not lecturing you Pretty Boy. We just want to make sure you're safe. That's all." Morgan said calmly.

"I am. I know the risks and the facts and I made a calculated decision. If we don't leave within the next two minutes we'll be late." Reid stated.

"We should get going we don't want to be late." Hotch said.

Reid went and grabbed his jacket and put his converse shoes on before they headed out the door. Reid locked the door and they headed down and got into Hotch's car. Once in the car Hotch drove off in the direction of the condo. Reid sat back and closed his eyes to try and get his body adjusted to being out and moving. He wasn't as high as he was last night and he knew by the time they got to the condo his eyes would be back to normal. He didn't know what to do about the rest of the day. He knew he should try and crack the code, but at the same time right now he didn't care. Reid figured he would decide what he wanted to do later once he got back home and wasn't so high anymore. It was a good fifteen minutes before they arrived at the condo building. Hotch parked in the visitor parking before they got out. They both looked at Reid and saw that his eyes were back to normal, but they knew that mentally he would still be high. With Reid that wasn't much of a concern considering how much of a genius he was. Reid high is still smarter than the average person. They headed inside to the lobby and they saw a real estate agent standing there. She gave them a warm smile as she spoke.

"Hello, is one of you a Dr. Spencer Reid by any chance?" She asked.

"I'm Dr. Reid."

"Stephanie Sanders. It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Reid." She said as she held her hand out.

Reid shook it awkwardly before he let it go as he spoke. "These are my two friend Derek Morgan and Aaron Hotchner."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. Shall we head up?" She asked with a smile.

Reid gave a nod and they all made their way over to the elevator and the real estate agent pushed the button. They walked onto the elevator as she spoke.

"It's on the penthouse floor so you are very lucky you won't have to deal with anyone living above you." Stephanie said as she pushed the fifteenth floor button.

"How many people live on each floor?" Hotch asked.

"There are five units on each floor so the condos are fairly large and very high end." Stephanie answered with a warm smile.

"Has anyone seen this one yet?" Morgan asked as they got off the elevator and followed Stephanie down the hallway.

"You are the first to see it. It was just put on the market that day that you sent me an email. If you like it then you have the first chance at putting in an offer." Stephanie said as they arrived at the door and she unlocked it with the key. "The current owner has moved out and relocated to New York. So it is cleaned and move in ready."

Stephanie opened the door and they all walked in. They were amazed at the site before them. The condo looked even better in person than it did online through pictures. It was all an open concept so they could see the whole kitchen and living room. The far side of the living room was floor to ceiling windows that went all across where the balcony was. The balcony was wide and large enough that Reid could have a BBQ on it as well as outside furniture. The kitchen held stainless steel appliances including a dishwasher. There was an island in the middle of the kitchen with it's own double sided sink that was stainless steel as well. They walked in and Stephanie spoke.

"The floors throughout are maple with the exception of the two bathrooms they have marble tiles in them. The cabinets in the kitchen are maple as well with a marble counter tops. Normally the appliances are not included, but the owner decided to leave them for a higher asking price. They are only three months old. You also have a built in microwave right over here in this drawer." Stephanie explained as she went over to the island and pulled out a drawer with a large microwave sitting upward inside of it.

"That's awesome." Morgan said.

"It truly is. I'm jealous I don't have one. There are two bathrooms, the master bathroom is in the master bedroom and the second bathroom is right across the hall from the second bedroom. Feel free to look around I'm here if you have any questions." Stephanie said with a warm smile.

The three of them headed to look around the condo. Reid was quit while he took in everything. It was really hard for him to be standing in a million and a half dollar condo. He was so used to living out of a small room and then his apartment which wasn't in the best of shape. He wasn't used to this type of thing. He never thought he would ever be able to afford something like this. To afford to live in a place like this. It was a little overwhelming even with the drugs in his system. They walked into the master bedroom and the whole bedroom was the size of Reid's current apartment. There was an electric fireplace in the one wall across from the bathroom. The closet was a walk-in closet that was the size of his current bedroom. Reid knew he only had enough clothes to fill a quarter of it if he was lucky. The master bathroom was beautiful there was a glass stand-up shower, two sinks and a Jacuzzi tube that was up on a couple of steps big enough to fit multiple people inside it. To top it off there was also a small electric fireplace by the Jacuzzi for a romantic and relaxing evening. The second bathroom was just as beautiful only without the tube it was just a stand-up glass shower. The second bedroom would make for a very large office and work space as it was twice the size of his bedroom in the apartment. The three of them stood there in the spare room and Morgan finally spoke.

"Come on Pretty Boy what do you think?"

"Overwhelmed mostly." Reid said clearly in shock at the place.

"Why overwhelmed?" Hotch asked gently.

"The master bedroom is the size of my whole entire apartment. I saw the pictures and I knew what the price was, but for some reason it didn't register in my mind. I never thought I would ever be able to move out of the current apartment that I have. I never expected in my life to ever be able to live in a place like this. It's a little overwhelming."

"That's understandable Spencer. You've been through a lot recently and this is a huge change. Something you are not very good with where major change is concerned. Do you still want to move out of the apartment?" Hotch asked calmly.

"I do. This place is beautiful it's just something I never expected to be able to afford in my life. Underneath the overwhelmed feeling there is excitement at the thought of moving and being in a good place. I could make this room into an office or a library."

"I don't think this room is big enough for all your books." Morgan joked with a warm smile.

"I don't have that many books." Reid said with a small smile.

"You could make it half into a library and half into an office." Hotch suggested.

"I could. What do you both think?" Reid asked.

"It's amazing is what I think. You deserve this Spencer. After everything you have done in your life and been through. All the time you went without just so you could take care of your mom. You deserve this. I think you should go for it and I don't see anything wrong with it construction wise." Morgan said.

"I think it's beautiful and Derek is right Spencer. You have earned this in your life. I know it's overwhelming and a big change, but I think it's one you should be making, but only if you are truly sure this is something you want." Hotch answered.

"As overwhelming as I feel right now and I'm sure it will get worse before it gets better. This is something I want to do. I want to move and it's not like I can't afford it currently. I believe I will become more excited than overwhelmed once this sinks into my mind. And I am excited." Reid said.

"You gonna put an offer in?" Morgan asked.

"I am. Do I offer the asking price?" Reid asked Morgan not really sure how it works.

"You could. I would normally offer a little lower, but this place is new to the market and it's extremely nice. I would offer the asking price to ensure you get it. That's just me though." Morgan said.

Reid gave a nod and they headed back out into the kitchen area where Stephanie was standing there. She smiled when she saw them and spoke.

"What do you think?"

"It's beautiful. I'd like to put an offer in." Reid said not sounding all that confident as he had never done this before.

"Wonderful. I know the owner is looking for a quick sell. You would be buying it out right with your own money or through a bank?"

"Part will be my own money and the remainder through a bank. Would that be a problem?"

"Not at all. Do you have a bank already in mind?"

"I was approved by the National Bank of America already."

"Perfect. I have the paperwork that you will need to fill out with your offer down on it. I will then call the owner today and he will either tell me yes or no. You will know by the end of the day if you have it. Then you just inform your bank of the amount you need and write a cheque to the owner. You can give that to me and I will pass it off to the owner. We will also have to go through the sale and you will need to sign everything for it to be in your name." Stephanie said.

"I can go over all of that paperwork with you." Hotch said.

"Would you like to fill out the paperwork now?" Stephanie asked.

"I think that would be best." Reid answered.

Stephanie pulled out the paperwork from her folder and handed it to Reid. Reid placed it down on the island and read through it within a second before he used a pen and started to write his information and the bank's information down. After a couple minutes he had the application and offer done and handed the forms back over to Stephanie.

"Great. I will give the owner a call and let him know he has an offer and I will get back to you by the end of the day I would imagine. It was lovely to meet you all."

"Thank-you for your time." Reid said.

They all headed out of the condo and back down to the lobby. They went their separate ways and the three of them headed back into Hotch's car and back to Reid's apartment.

"Any plans for the rest of the day Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked.

"I'll probably work on the letters and see if I can get through all of them. Has there been any progress?"

"Not yet, but the others were working on it. Derek and me are going back to the office tonight to continue working on the possible moles. We have a meeting tomorrow morning for nine with Strauss and the Director. Will you be there?" Hotch asked.

"I guess I should be. I'll see what I can find in the letters tonight. I might be able to get the mole's identity for the meeting."

"Don't work yourself to exhaustion though Spencer. Do what you can and then rest. You need to still finish healing physically. You still have internal bruising." Hotch said with concern.

"I'll be careful." Reid said.

"The meeting is at nine. Do you want me to pick you up?" Morgan asked.

"No I can drive myself in." Reid said.

"I could come back tonight and we could work on the case together. I could bring some dinner by." Morgan suggested trying to see Reid and not leave him alone for the night.

"Thanks but I'm just going to work." Reid said back.

"Sure." Morgan said trying not to sound disappointed.

He wanted to be with Reid tonight so he could keep an eye on him and make sure he was eating. He had a feeling he hadn't eaten since last night's dinner and he knew that if Reid got caught up in his work that he would forget to eat something. He would just drink coffee cup after coffee cup until someone got him to slow down and eat. Reid didn't seem to be willing to have company tonight so all Morgan could do was text him and hope that Reid would be alright for tomorrow morning. When they arrived at Reid apartment Reid got out and said goodbye before he headed upstairs to his apartment. When Reid walked into the apartment he couldn't help, but stand there with his back against his front door. He couldn't believe that he could be living in that condo instead of here. He had lived in so many rundown and small places in his life the thought of living in a high quality condo like the one he saw truly did blow his mind.

Reid knew without a doubt that he would be keeping this place as well. He didn't want JD in a place that nice. He needed to keep that part of his life separate from the other part. Reid knew one day he would have to give up the drugs. If he ever wanted to be back in the BAU he would need to be sober for at least ninety days. That only left him with just under nine months before he would have to get sober or leave the BAU. Reid loved the job, but at the same time he also hated it. He didn't know what he was going to do. It's why he isn't fighting the year off. He needed that time to sort everything out and see what he truly wanted to do with his life. For tonight all he could do was try and finish the letters so he could help catch the men responsible for hurting him, Morgan and Hotch. With that in mind Reid went and grabbed himself a cup of coffee, got changed into comfy clothes and began to work.